Malrik still held a meditative pose, but his body wouldn't stop shaking. He forced his breathing to slow, trying to shut out the hot wind and the mocking silence of the trees. He closed his eyes, but he didn't find peace.
Instead, the darkness behind his eyelids dragged him back three hours to the suffocating silence of his bedchamber. He could still feel the phantom weight of the bedchamber door against his back as he leaned against it, gasping for air and staring at the floor while the walls seemed to close in on him. He paced around the chamber until his feet hurt, dragging his hair as he muttered, "I can't die. I can't. If I die, it's over. My kind won't exist anymore."
