Cisco's betrayal was just as devastating to hear as if Willum had told me that the sun would never rise and we were doomed to live in eternal darkness. I shivered, already feeling as if I'd never feel the sun's warmth again.
All I could think was that Cisco was gone forever. He'd betrayed me in the worst way. He'd allied with my worst enemy. How long would it be before she convinced him to turn on me as well as Baruuk? She despised me. Even if I became queen, good relations were not a dynamic Sharlot and I would ever be able to foster. Cisco had just proven to me something that should have been clear to me long ago: his throne would always come first.
What was worse was that once she had Espazota in her clutches, Baruuk would never aid Espazota again. When she turned on Cisco and his people, there would be nothing I could do to protect him.
And why was this still something I considered? Cisco clearly viewed me as a pawn, just like everyone else. He may want to ally when it suited him, if I became queen, but if it didn't suit him, he'd walk away. I was sure he believed he didn't need an alliance with me anymore and had found something better.
Baruuk was right — and the realization shattered my heart and soul. Cisco had conned me into being his friend, and had convinced me to be his ally. But these feelings I had for him weren't mutual. I was just another person who had fallen for his charm.
"I wouldn't be surprised if he's made his escape already," Willum said, not looking smug about this at all though, as I expected he would. He seemed uneasy. "Your skills in torture are unmatched — but he finished what you started in order to convince me to make the deal. I never would have made the deal in your own camp, but he's one sadistic creep."
I thought of his mangled fingers, realizing Cisco had likely dismissed the guards under the pretense of assisting me with his interrogation, and made the deal when I was sleeping. When I got sick, he probably thought it was the perfect opportunity.
"Unfortunately, I already knew that."
Without another word I sprinted out of the tent and wove through the camp toward the corral where Thunder was being kept. But as I passed the dining area I heard a familiar laugh echo across the camp.
Cisco. What was he still doing there?
It didn't matter to me. All reason left my mind. There were so many questions I needed answers to, but all I could do was feel the pain of his betrayal.
Cisco sat with a group of my soldiers, enjoying his meal and laughing with them over something that was no doubt charming, witty, and entirely false. I bore no weapon, so as I passed another soldier, I slid their sword from its sheath on their hip and slashed downward.
My sword arced across the grey sky as storm clouds gathered above us. As my sword careened toward his neck, Cisco pulled a sword from under the dining table and met mine with a loud clang. Cisco's gaze hardened, he looked as he did during battle — cold, brutal, unrelenting.
"Baruuk was right about you!" I screamed as I swung my sword for another blow.
"Don't compare me to that monster!" The word monster dripped with disgust and his face contorted from anger, to pain. He rose from his seat to block my second blow. "You know me better than that!"
"I don't know —" I choked on the emotion, and tears threatened. "I've never known you, have I? You are two-faced, and neither of them is trustworthy!" I screamed the words at the top of my lungs, but I prayed for him to deny them — to give me some reason to believe in him.
"Espazota needs a new ally," he grunted as he blocked another blow.
"With our sworn enemy?" My voice broke. "She will destroy you."
The first fissure in his facade tore open. "Are you... afraid?"
It felt dangerous to admit that I was. I fought him with severity with my sword, but my heart was defenseless. "I thought you were on my side!"
Cisco grunted as he blocked several rapid blows. It didn't escape my notice that he was not making a counter attack, and it confused me. But I was too hurt to consider why.
"I will support Calidonica when you're on the throne, not Baruuk. Baruuk is stubborn, narrow-minded and unreasonable. I thought you would see Willum's vision and take a chance on the three of us working together. But you can't think past the present to the possibilities. Baruuk has trained you not to think. Not for yourself. He doesn't want you to dream because then you would be unstoppable."
My blows quickened in my fury, though my body was exhausted already from healing Willum.
He was right. He was so right. I thought I had begun to free myself from Baruuk's clutches, but over the years Baruuk had made me draw within myself, unwilling to see beyond my fear and pain.
"You have a brilliant mind, Lura. But Baruuk has convinced you not to trust even your own mind, or your heart." His hardened gaze melted further, his voice breaking on the word 'heart.'
It was at that moment that I realized I was hurting Cisco. But I didn't know how to stop. Destruction was the only solution there was to my problems. That's what Baruuk taught me. And I was destroying Cisco.
"Your fear paralyzes you, Lura. Even now, you're furious, but you can't bring yourself to truly fight."
At his words I stretched out my hand, and with glowing eyes, I shoved him against the tree behind him. His body hit the tree with a dull thud. Blood trickled down his face from his nose. As soon as I saw his eyes glaze over, I knew beyond doubt that everything I was doing to Cisco was not who I was. I was acting as the Grand General, not as Lura.
My stomach dropped when I saw the damage I'd done to Cisco. I had shattered his bones in one motion. The person I wanted to protect as much as Hetty was broken at my hands — beyond repair if I didn't hurry to heal him.
"Atta girl," he gasped. "Now… can we discuss this.. rationally?"
I dropped my sword, not caring that he still held his. If he took my life, I would die knowing I got exactly what I deserved — death at the hands of the one person I loved with my whole heart. Who had always been there for me, a fact I distrusted despite showing me in all of his actions that he was the most trustworthy person in my life.
I placed my hands on his ribs, which I could feel were broken. He placed his hand on mine to stop me. "Wait," he said, his voice quiet, the look he gave me achingly tender. "Father sent me… to break the alliance… and either return to Espazota... with you as our ally... or destroy you."
The broken shards of my heart fractured further. Cisco did neither of those things. What happened?
"He was going to send… someone else. I begged to come. Couldn't let anyone kill you… and once I learned about Hetty… couldn't ask you to leave." Tears streamed down my face at his admission. Cisco had been protecting me from a secret threat the entire time he'd been in Calidonica, and I'd doubted his loyalty for half the time he'd been there.
I was the worst friend, if I could have ever called what I was to him a friend. Friends trusted each other implicitly. Until that moment, I'd treated Cisco with varying degrees of suspicion and hesitation. He'd been the only person who treated me as human, not a monster, a goddess, a weapon, or a tool. And I had never trusted it. I'd never trusted him. He didn't deserve that.
"Father would never forgive me… if I went home... empty-handed." Thus the alliance with Vydon. King Darius had always sung Cisco's praises. But at what cost to Cisco? Cisco had excelled at everything he put his mind to, to the point of being prodigious. Maybe he couldn't afford to fail. I thought back to his confession about the Bethidian villages he'd burned to the ground. He cried because guilt still wracked him weeks later.
"To my father, it was my crowning achievement," he'd told me.
Maybe he never wanted to burn the villages in the first place. Maybe the event pained him before, during and after. I'd never considered that Cisco might feel the same pain I did. I couldn't look past my own to see my best friend was also barely holding himself together. Maybe that's why we were drawn to each other — we were forged in the same fire — but turned into two completely different weapons.
I screamed Sanna's name and she rushed over.
"I'll take care of you, General," she said, her tone steady and assured. I pressed my hands to Cisco's side too hard. He winced, and I softened my touch. "I'm sorry," I cried. "I'm so sorry."
Cisco's fingers grazed my cheek, brushing a tendril of hair from my face.
"Thank you," he said, and tears began to stream down his face as well. He smiled despite his tears, the most heartbreaking of smiles. I didn't deserve his smiles. "I know you are." He placed his cool palm on my feverish cheek and the gesture deepened the ache in my chest. As the life transferred from my body to his I lost my balance. Cisco pulled me to him as I tipped forward. "I forgive you," he said, laughing lightly though his voice was thick with tears.
I felt him healed completely as I slumped into his arms. "Don't… forgive… me…" I muttered into his chest. "Don't ever... forgive me," I said as darkness engulfed me.