Yugito knew she was busted, so she had no choice but to push the door open and walk into the room.
She quickly tried to comfort herself internally—even if these guys were actually bad news, they hadn't made a move earlier, so they probably wouldn't try any funny business now.
She was safe.
Probably.
"I've got a few questions for you all." Yugito hesitated for a split second before pulling the book out from behind her back.
"Have any of you seen this?"
She had racked her brain trying to figure out how to start this conversation, and this seemed like the only sane approach.
But...
"Never seen it." Uchiha Hikari barely glanced at the cover before immediately shaking her head.
"Being Hokage is way too busy; when the hell would I have time to read something like that? What, are you a fan of this thing and want us to help you score an autograph?" Tsunade also denied it after taking a quick peek.
Yugito was instantly bewildered.
How could both of these Konoha folks not have read it?
What about the last guy?
If he hadn't read it either, how was she supposed to keep this conversation going?
"I haven't actually read it myself, but I am pretty familiar with the contents inside." Makoto was also telling the truth.
When Yugito heard the first half of Makoto's sentence, her heart sank right into her stomach.
But fortunately, the second half completely saved the day.
"Oh right!" Tsunade clapped her hands together like she suddenly remembered something.
"I remember Sakura mentioning that Kakashi is a huge fan of yours. He absolutely loves the movie plots you write. Apparently, he was totally influenced by you and Jiraiya when he started writing his own books too. Sakura also said that whatever book it was, Kakashi only wrote it after they went to the Land of Snow with you."
Hearing Tsunade drop this bomb, Yugito—who had just been about to speak—was totally startled.
She originally thought Makoto's "haven't read it, but know the content" meant he just heard the gossip from someone else, just like her.
She never in a million years expected that Makoto was the actual culprit... or well, the root of all this madness...
"I just have to ask... are some of the contents in here actually based on real events that happened?" After forcibly calming her emotions, Yugito seriously posed her question to Makoto.
"Such as?" Makoto just shrugged.
"For example..." Yugito opened her mouth, finding it insanely difficult to talk about this weird stuff in front of total strangers—it required thickening her skin by several layers.
"For example... that 'deep' friendship between Hashirama Senju and Uchiha Madara. Is it true?" Yugito gritted her teeth and finally forced the words out.
Thump!
Uchiha Hikari suddenly slammed the table, making Yugito jump.
"That one is 100% true! You don't even need him to answer that—I know it for a fact myself!" Hikari glared right at Yugito.
"Huh?" Yugito shifted her bewildered gaze to Tsunade.
Tsunade just took a sip of her hot sake and didn't refute a single word.
What did this mean?
The Uchiha just confirmed it, and the Senju implicitly agreed by keeping her mouth shut.
How could it possibly be fake?
Yugito couldn't help but feel a bizarre pang of sorrow in her heart.
'So the legendary God of Shinobi and the Asura of the Ninja World actually had that kind of kinky relationship.'
However, Yugito's silent hesitation made Hikari think she was calling her a liar.
"You don't believe me? Hashirama Senju was literally revived through the Impure World Reincarnation. He admitted it himself! If you don't believe me, you can march right back to Amegakure with us and ask the guy in person."
"Impure World Reincarnation?" Yugito had heard of that technique.
It was a forbidden jutsu developed by the Second Hokage, capable of summoning dead souls right back from the Pure Land into the living world.
The Hidden Cloud didn't know all the nitty-gritty details of the Konoha crush plan during the Chunin Exams, but the incident was so massive they had definitely gathered some intel.
Part of that intel was the fact that Orochimaru used the Impure World Reincarnation to summon the First and Second Hokages just to try and kill the Third.
"Exactly. But if you actually go to ask him, I'll go with you to ensure your safety," Hikari said, dead serious.
As soon as the words left her mouth, Hikari realized how weirdly ambiguous that sounded and hastily corrected herself.
"No, no, wait! Makoto will go with you instead!"
"Huh?" Yugito's head was spinning with question marks.
She had no clue why Hikari suddenly backpedaled, or why simply asking a historical question would be dangerous in the first place.
Would the legendary First Hokage really murder her just to keep his dirty little secret quiet?
"Why do any of you need to escort me at all?" Yugito asked.
"Not 'us'—him. I'm definitely not going," Hikari corrected her right off the bat, before starting to explain.
"Hashirama Senju, as the naturally perverted leader of the Senju clan..."
"Hmm?!" Tsunade, who had kept her mouth completely shut during the earlier bullshit, finally couldn't hold back.
What the hell did "naturally perverted leader of the Senju clan" even mean?
She was a damn Senju too after all!
"What are you 'hmm'-ing about?" Hikari snapped.
"Nothing. Keep going." Tsunade grumbled.
She suddenly remembered getting treated for her hemophobia inside Hikari's Tsukuyomi world.
Yeah, she really had no solid grounds to pick a fight here.
What if she stubbornly argued now and Hikari exposed her embarrassing secrets? She'd lose all her face.
"Alright, then I'm continuing." Hikari crossed her arms. "Hashirama Senju, as the naturally perverted leader of his clan, didn't just have an intimate relationship with Uchiha Madara. He had one with someone else, too. Did you know that?"
"Huh? There's more? Who is it?" Yugito was completely stunned.
No wonder she called the First Hokage "naturally perverted"—the title fit perfectly!
Yugito rapidly scrolled through all the characters who had popped up in the perverted Vigorous Paradise cutscenes earlier.
"Could it be... the Second Hokage?" Yugito struggled to even force the horrifying guess out of her mouth.
"Huh?" Uchiha Hikari was totally caught off guard, not expecting a response quite that cursed.
It seemed Hashirama Senju's reputation in other ninja villages was truly something else—so much so that people actually believed he was beastly enough to lay his hands on his own brother.
"Ahem, of course not. The other person is Mito Uzumaki."
"..."
Yugito seriously felt like slapping herself in the face.
She felt like she had been completely corrupted by that stupid Vigorous Paradise.
Otherwise, why the hell would her mind jump straight to incest over such a simple question?
The other person with an intimate relationship with Hashirama was literally his wife, Mito Uzumaki.
Why did she even have to guess that?!
"The other is the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki, Mito Uzumaki. But you really have to understand who Hashirama truly cares about," Hikari said darkly.
"What kind of existence is a Tailed Beast Jinchuriki in his eyes? Now that you, another Jinchuriki, are planning to pop up right in front of him... don't you think he might do something extreme?"
As Hashirama Senju's absolute number one hater, Uchiha Hikari spared no effort in painting him as a total monster in Yugito's head.
"I—I get it. I believe you. I'm definitely not going to your village then."
Terrifying images flashed through Yugito's mind, sending a violent shiver down her spine.
Legend had it that Hashirama Senju solo-captured all nine Tailed Beasts back in the day, and his Wood Release was their ultimate counter.
If Hashirama wanted to deal with a Jinchuriki like her, wouldn't it be an absolute curbstomp?
If he truly wanted to do something sick to them, he could just use Wood Release to turn into some freaky tentacle monster, and she'd be completely powerless to stop it!
"Mm, good. Glad we settled that. Do you have anything else you wanted to ask?"
"I..." Yugito finally remembered the actual, crucial core question she had come all the way here to ask.
"I need to know... is the Infinite Tsukuyomi real?"