"It's quite a distance away, but it's still within the Land of Fire. The exact location has been confirmed."
[Konan] pinpointed the coordinates of the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki and callously tossed [Kushina] aside.
[Namikaze Minato] quickly caught his wife using the Flying Thunder God technique before instantly teleporting back to the safety of a nearby rooftop.
He didn't just run away immediately because he heard them explicitly say they were hunting the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki—his son was in imminent danger!
Meanwhile, reinforcements from Konoha had finally arrived on the scene.
Not only did several team-leading Jonin show up, but even the Hokage herself, [Tsunade], had arrived.
"What the actual hell is this?! This had better not be Shizune's sick fantasy!"
Up in the spectator stands in the real world, the real Tsunade, who was casually drinking a beer, violently did a spit-take and cursed loudly.
The alternate Hokage [Tsunade] had a completely flat chest, totally able to see her own shoes when looking straight down.
In stark contrast, her assistant [Shizune] standing right beside her couldn't even hold Tonton properly in her arms, the poor pig basically had to rest on top of her ultra giant tits.
"Why?! What did our family do wrong?! Why are you doing this to us?!" [Namikaze Minato] shouted with absolute grief and indignation at the three people hovering in the air, who were just about to leave to hunt down the Nine-Tails.
"Why?" [Konan] paused her flight and slightly turned her head to look down at the Leaf ninjas.
"No particular reason. Our Akatsuki's core belief is to execute the nine Tailed Beasts, and then completely eradicate the filthy ninjas who have lost their humanity by obsessing over Tailed Beasts and Summoning Beasts. You'll all die eventually, too."
"Of course, you do have a chance to repent," [Konan] added coldly. "After we execute the nine Tailed Beasts, we'll give you the opportunity to change your sick ways. As long as you change, you can survive in the New Ninja World."
(Meanwhile, Makoto and Uchiha Hikari floating right beside her were thinking: 'Yeah, just kidding. After we capture the nine Tailed Beasts, your entire fake universe is getting deleted anyway.')
"No! We've never lost our humanity! You're the ones who have lost your goddamn humanity!" [Namikaze Minato] clenched his fists and furiously shot back.
"Anyone who sees the perfect form of a Tailed Beast simply cannot resist it! This is human nature! It's basic human instinct! You people who want to murder the Tailed Beasts are the truly inhuman monsters here! You're violently rejecting basic human instinct!"
[Kushina], who had only just woken up from her unconscious state on the ground, instantly fainted right back away upon hearing [Namikaze Minato]'s deranged, furry-loving words.
Up in the audience seats, the real Kushina wore a look of pure shock and bewilderment.
Her expression clearly screamed: 'What the actual fuck is this guy talking about?!'
Upon hearing this twisted logic, [Konan] frowned deeply.
But the madness didn't end there.
[Tsunade] leaped out, aggressively positioning herself in front of [Namikaze Minato], and glared angrily at [Konan] hovering in the sky.
"I recognize you! Weren't you one of those three brats Jiraiya took in back in Amegakure?! Why?! Why the hell did you kill Jiraiya?! He was your teacher!"
"Hmph! Jiraiya did teach us many things, but he also tried to subtly poison our beliefs. And what's worse... back then, he actually tricked us into wearing frog suits for his own sick amusement!" [Konan]'s tone gradually grew much less composed, dripping with pure venom.
"Honestly, he really deserved to die for that," Uchiha Hikari muttered under her breath.
Hearing this from the alternate [Konan] below, the real Konan in the spectator seats completely froze in place.
Because back in the real world, Jiraiya had also made the three of them wear those stupid frog outfits.
'Wait, was this true or false?! Could it be that Jiraiya actually did have some weird, sick fetish?!'
"I totally understand now!" [Tsunade] suddenly seemed to have a massive epiphany, pointing an accusing finger at [Konan] in the air.
"You small nations are just insanely jealous that we great nations possess the Tailed Beasts! All this righteous talk about exterminating Tailed Beasts—you're just completely resentful that you don't have any of your own!!!"
"..."
[Konan] was absolutely infuriated by this brain-dead logic!
She clenched her fists tightly, took a deep breath, and finally let out a cold resigned smile.
"Huh?" Uchiha Hikari looked around, instantly sensing something was very amiss.
Truth be told, Hikari had also grown incredibly irritated and angry hearing [Namikaze Minato] and [Tsunade]'s cursed words and was fully ready to just nuke them from orbit.
But [Konan] moved way faster than her.
Suddenly, every single building in Konoha began to rapidly dissolve, transforming into layer upon layer of massive paper walls that violently spun around, completely trapping all the villagers and ninjas of Konoha.
Even the solid building right beneath [Namikaze Minato] and [Tsunade]'s feet instantly turned into a massive pile of white paper.
No wonder [Konan] was just chilling in Konoha.
She had used her Paper God Technique to completely disguise the entire village, turning the whole damn place into a massive, rigged paper construct.
"You two, get out of here right now," [Konan] bluntly told Makoto and Hikari behind her, as she coldly manipulated the six hundred billion exploding tags that Konoha had just reverted back into.
Without a single word, Makoto and Uchiha booked it and flew a considerable distance away.
Then, as if celebrating the most violent New Year's Eve in history, Konoha began setting off all six hundred billion explosive "firecrackers," creating an absolutely apocalyptic scene of festive fiery chaos.
"As expected," Makoto murmured, looking far down toward the safe outskirts of the village, where a familiar yellow figure had just appeared.
Thanks to the Flying Thunder God technique, [Namikaze Minato] obviously couldn't be trapped by a mere ocean of exploding tags.
However, after using the technique to escape with [Kushina], he didn't even attempt to rescue anyone else in the village.
Instead, he just selfishly fled into the distance with her.
Why was this alternate world's [Namikaze Minato] still a master of the Flying Thunder God technique, yet he wasn't hailed as the hero "Yellow Flash" or crowned as the Fourth Hokage?
The reason was incredibly simple.
This version of [Namikaze Minato] was a pure, unadulterated egoist.
He didn't give a damn about the lives of anyone else in the village—only his family mattered.
And honestly, ranked even above his family, there was something vastly more important: himself.
In essence, his moral priorities were completely, selfishly reversed.
So it made perfect sense that a coward like him would never become the Hokage.
[Namikaze Minato] cowardly fled with [Kushina], focused solely on their own survival.
[Kushina] finally woke up again, groaning in pain. "Wait... this direction isn't the way to find Menma. You're going the wrong way..."
"No, we absolutely cannot go to Menma. His location is already known by those three monsters. Going there now would just be walking right into a death trap." [Namikaze Minato] shook his head in hard refusal.
"W-what the hell did you just say?!" [Kushina] never in a million years expected [Namikaze Minato] to say something so utterly heartless.
Menma was their child after all!
"..."
Well, okay, given the context, he was possibly [Namikaze Minato] and the Nine-Tails' child, but regardless of that cursed biology, he was still [Minato]'s child!
Seeing [Namikaze Minato] stubbornly remain silent and just keep running away, [Kushina] slowly spoke up again.
"You heard what that paper woman said earlier, too. After murdering the Tailed Beasts, she'll mercilessly execute anyone who remains unrepentant. Can you really bear to just let the Nine-Tails die? Can you honestly guarantee that after the Tailed Beast's death, you'll be able to completely change your ways and no longer be hopelessly obsessed with furries?!"
"..."
Hearing this devastating logic, [Namikaze Minato] gradually stopped running, his expression turn incredibly grave.
She was right.
Even if he managed to survive today, according to what that Akatsuki woman just said, if he didn't cure his sick obsession, he would still end up executed in the end anyway.
'If I'm going to die no matter what, why not die for my... true passions!' [Namikaze Minato] clenched his fists dramatically and turned to look at [Kushina].
"Kushina, you're absolutely right. I should go protect Menma, protect the Nine-Tails, and proudly defend this ninja world!"
"Oh, Minato, that's wonderful!" [Kushina] smiled with genuine relief and joy.
"WHAT THE HELL IS SO WONDERFUL ABOUT THAT?!"
The real Kushina up in the sky audience seats was already ripping her hair out in pure despair.
What kind of absolute garbage-tier dialogue and plot was this universe running on?!
Makoto and Hikari, hovering nearby, also heard the bizarre conversation between the two below perfectly clearly.
Well, no matter how absurd the thought process was to get there, the end result was exactly the same: those two were now actively going to try and prevent the Tailed Beast capture.
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