"What?! Orochimaru?!"
"Damn it! That Orochimaru bastard was never trustworthy! I knew he was plotting something!"
Jiraiya snapped out of his shock and immediately fled in the opposite direction.
However, he did not immediately go all-out.
After a few tactical steps, he glanced back to confirm that the Second Hokage, seemingly controlled by his former teammate, was targeting only him, not Konoha or Naruto.
Once he confirmed the Second Hokage was indeed charging directly at him, Jiraiya breathed a slight sigh of relief and continued his escape, heading straight toward the village outskirts.
Regardless of the circumstances, a battle against a reincarnated Hokage had to be kept as far from the civilian population as possible.
"Huh? Is that the Pervy Sage and the Second Hokage's stone face?"
Naruto, who had been knocked into the dirt by Sakura, tilted his head back and saw the chase scene upside down.
He scrambled to his feet, rubbing his bruised cheek and watched the pair retreating over the rooftops.
"They looked like they were fighting just now? Why? Who is the good guy and who is the bad guy?"
Sakura approached, her face equally puzzled as she pulled Naruto up from the ground.
"I don't know, but I think I heard them shouting about Orochimaru earlier. Sakura, I'm going to follow them and check it out first. You go warn Granny Tsunade."
After speaking, Naruto leaped onto the nearest roof and began chasing after the two figures speeding toward the village gates.
Strange, Jiraiya thought as he sprinted through the trees.
He noticed that the Second Hokage was pursuing him at a completely normal, physical running speed, showing no sign of using the Flying Thunder God to instantly close the gap.
'Could it be that the Second Hokage did not leave any teleportation seals in this direction?'
Before Jiraiya could ponder the implications further, he had already fled the village limits.
However, just a few steps beyond the gates, a familiar figure blocked his path in the clearing.
"Old man?! Perfect, you're here!" Jiraiya shouted in relief. "Listen, Orochimaru is manipulating the Second Hokage's Edo Tensei to hunt me down!"
"I told you before that Orochimaru could not be trusted! That seal he placed on my dick was clearly just a twisted test of my loyalty!"
"Old man, you have no idea how evil Orochimaru truly is. He sealed my dick and my ass!"
"Now I cannot even wipe my ass! The toilet paper gets shredded by a localized Wind Release vacuum the moment I try to use it!"
"Every time I need to take a dump, I have to go to the public bathhouse. After I am done, I have to immediately soak in the scalding bathwater just to get clean!"
"Yesterday, my horrible secret was exposed when the bathhouse owner caught me washing myself in the main tub. I'm now permanently blacklisted from every bathhouse in the Land of Fire!"
"I..."
Jiraiya poured out his deeply cursed inner turmoil to Sarutobi Hiruzen, desperate for sympathy.
Suddenly, Jiraiya sensed something was horribly off.
Why was the old man not saying anything?
Or at least laughing at him?
He scrutinized Hiruzen, only to realize his former teacher's gaze was fixed entirely on something standing directly behind him.
Behind him?
That could only mean the Second Hokage had caught up!
Yet when Tobirama arrived, he simply stood a short distance behind Jiraiya, completely motionless and silent.
This setup... did it look like the Second Hokage and the old man were about to gang up on him?
Wait a minute!
Jiraiya's realization struck him like a physical blow.
The old man was also summoned through the Edo Tensei!
Orochimaru has both of them!
Startled, Jiraiya hastily retreated several steps, desperately trying to create some safe distance between the two Kage.
'Huh?'
He eyed the two legendary figures warily, sweating bullets as he waited for any movement.
But nothing happened.
They just stared at him.
Wha's going on? Did Orochimaru's psychic connection randomly get cut off?
If Jiraiya had known they were just going to stand there like statues, he could have used the opportunity to gather Natural Energy and prepare to activate Sage Mode.
...
In truth, before attacking Jiraiya in the village, Tobirama had already sent a Shadow Clone ahead to inform the Third Hokage—who was currently assisting Tsunade with her massive backlog of paperwork—about his impromptu theatrical plan.
Hiruzen naturally agreed to participate.
Anyone could handle administrative tasks; they were not irreplaceable.
But to inspire Naruto to rise to the occasion and save the world? He was more than willing to play along with his teacher's brutal scheme.
Thus, Tsunade, who had just reclaimed her position as Hokage and was looking forward to resuming her lazy, delegating ways, found the entire mountain of remaining paperwork dumped directly onto her desk by Hiruzen, who briefly declared his departure before vanishing.
Tsunade froze in pure disbelief: 'How could you be so utterly selfish, you old monkey?!'
Shizune, standing nearby with a pig in her arms, was equally stunned.
'How could you do this to us, Lord Third? If you leave, what will we eat...? No, wait, what about me?! Will I have to do all this paperwork alone now?!'
They had previously relied heavily on an Edo Tensei that could physically work tirelessly around the clock, without needing sleep, food, or even bathroom breaks.
Now, their ultimate administrative cheat code was gone!
...
Back outside the village.
The real reason the Third and Second Hokage remained perfectly motionless was simple: Naruto, their intended audience, had not arrived yet.
There was absolutely no point in starting the dramatic performance early if the target demographic was missing.
Facing the village gates, Hiruzen finally saw Naruto approaching in the distance.
He immediately launched his attack.
"Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique!"
Hiruzen hurled a single shuriken at Jiraiya, then rapidly formed a complex string of hand seals.
The shuriken multiplied into a massive rain of lethal steel blades that blotted out the sky.
"Ninja Art: Wild Lion's Mane Technique!"
Jiraiya grinned confidently, forming his own seals.
This old man's trick is nothing special. My hair can easily block physical projectiles.
'Huh? Wait a minute!'
After activating the Wild Lion's Mane Technique, Jiraiya reached up and touched his head.
As expected!
The Second Hokage's Flying Thunder God Slash earlier had accidentally shaved off a massive chunk of his hair!
Without enough physical hair volume to harden, he could not unleash the full defensive power of the jutsu!
Jiraiya hastily aborted the jutsu and performed a desperate donkey roll, flipping awkwardly across the dirt to narrowly evade the rain of steel.
"That move almost cost me my life!" Jiraiya panted, wiping sweat from his brow.
After narrowly dodging the attack, Jiraiya was absolutely certain Hiruzen was being actively controlled by Orochimaru's malicious will.
Otherwise, the kind old man would never have thrown a lethal jutsu at him.
But in his highly tense, panicked state, Jiraiya failed to notice that Hiruzen's hand seal sequence had been slightly, deliberately off.
This was not the lethal Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique, but rather the basic Shuriken Clone Technique—a functionally useless, failed creation originally developed by Hiruzen in his youth.
A single character's difference in the name, much like the massive distinction between the Shadow Clone and the basic Clone Technique.
The latter was a fundamental illusion taught to children at the Academy, rarely used in actual combat.
The Clone Technique simply creates intangible optical illusions incapable of causing physical harm.
The Shuriken Clone Technique operates on the exact same logic.
Among the massive rain of flying shuriken, only the original, single blade carried any real physical threat. The rest were holograms.
"Pervy Sage!"
Naruto, seeing Jiraiya's disheveled, bald-spotted state rolling in the dirt, rushed forward, shouting anxiously.
True to his impulsive, knuckleheaded nature, Naruto would never have lingered in the shadows to tactically observe the situation before charging into the fray, immediately announcing his presence with loud cries.
"Don't come any closer, Naruto! Get back to the village—it's safe behind the barrier! You cannot beat them! Run! Get out of here!"
Jiraiya lay sprawled on the ground, raising one hand dramatically toward Naruto.
"Tell Tsunade that Orochimaru has deceived us all! Sasuke, who went to study by Orochimaru's side, is in grave danger too..."
"Summoning Technique! Monkey King Enma!"
Hiruzen slammed his hand on the ground, summoning Enma.
The monkey instantly transformed into the Adamantine Staff and thrust it directly into Jiraiya's mouth, brutally silencing his dramatic monologue.
It was strange, really.
While Edo Tensei zombies were strictly controlled by the caster's will, Summoning Beasts were not.
Intelligent Summoning Beasts only attacked according to the free will of their original contractor.
"Let him go!"
Seeing his beloved teacher treated this way, Naruto completely ignored all advice about retreating and charged straight at the pair of legendary Kage!
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