Naruto's fingers were completely shattered, but despite the agonizing pain, his recovery rate was terrifyingly fast.
After rolling around in the desert sand for a bit, Naruto gritted his teeth and snapped his broken fingers back into place following Kurama's exasperated instructions.
The bones knit back together, and the flesh healed just moments later.
In the future timeline, Uchiha Shin would stab adult Naruto clean through the gut with Sasuke's Kusanagi sword, and the Hokage would act like nothing happened after casually pulling it out.
The current Naruto's regenerative power might not match that peak yet, but it wasn't far off, especially for a relatively minor injury like broken fingers.
Once fully healed, Naruto sat in the dirt, brushing the sand off his clothes.
Suddenly, a question struck him.
Why?
Why would a perfectly healthy guy permanently rid himself of an asshole?
This anatomical mystery didn't puzzle Naruto for long, his hyper-active brain quickly connected the dots.
Earlier, Makoto had introduced Sasori as Granny Chiyo's grandson.
Kakashi-sensei's father, the legendary White Fang of the Leaf, had killed Chiyo's son and daughter-in-law—Sasori's parents—during the Great War.
Naruto gasped, his eyes widening in sheer horror as the flawless deduction formed in his mind.
'The White Fang must have used the Leaf Village Secret Taijutsu Technique: One Thousand Years of Death to assassinate Sasori's parents!'
'Upon learning the horrific cause of his parents' death, Sasori sought revenge. To perfectly counter the White Fang's deadly, ass-piercing technique, he... surgically removed his own weakness.'
'No asshole meant no fear of the One Thousand Years of Death!'
"I AM SO SORRY!!!"
Reaching this tragic conclusion, Naruto felt an overwhelming wave of empathy wash over him.
He leaped to his feet and shouted at Sasori, who had already walked quite a distance across the dunes.
"Hmm?"
Hearing the sudden emotional shout, Sasori stopped and glanced back over his shoulder.
'Sorry? Sorry for what?'
'For faking a surrender and trying to stab me in the back earlier?'
Baffling.
Utterly baffling.
Ignoring the blonde idiot, Sasori turned back around and continued walking.
Naruto touched an item tucked securely in his back pocket and sprinted across the sand to catch up.
"I... I can understand your deep pain! But I still sincerely hope the chain of hatred can be broken!" Naruto ran in front of Sasori, speaking with intense burning earnestness.
'What the hell is this kid talking about?' Sasori tilted his head, genuinely confused.
"I won't try to rescue Kakashi-sensei anymore. By choosing not to execute him, your family has already made a huge concession. Even if you made the whole village line up to experience Kakashi-sensei, it wouldn't be too much to ask! Besides, your grandma chose a proper formal marriage!"
(wtf naruto!)
Naruto relayed these thoughts smoothly, having shared his chaotic ideas with Kurama, who forcefully organized the words into a coherent sentence for him to recite.
Otherwise, given Naruto's abysmal education level, he could never have articulated such a diplomatic speech.
"Oh."
Sasori grasped a fraction of Naruto's meaning.
But only a fraction.
Sasori still cared about the memory of his parents, but his grief and blind hatred over their deaths had vanished long ago.
His parents died as honored heroes of the Hidden Sand Village on the battlefield.
The White Fang? He broke ninja rules in the Leaf and killed himself like a coward in the end.
Even if Sasori hadn't turned himself into a numb wooden puppet, he would still feel that karmic outcome was satisfying enough.
"Um, wait a second. Can you give this to Kakashi-sensei for me?" Naruto pulled a few taped-together scraps of paper from his pocket and held them out.
"Fine."
Sasori snatched the item, shoved it into his dark cloak without looking at it, and walked away, certain the blonde brat was finally done causing trouble.
The item Naruto handed over was the torn, cursed "photograph" Sasuke had dropped—the one depicting Koharu Utatane when she was bathing.
He didn't know its exact origins, but he recognized the old woman from the assembly when Tsunade succeeded as Hokage.
Naruto wanted Sasori to give this to Kakashi to prove a point: Not only does the Sand Village have "mellow MILF," but the Leaf Village has them too, and they are in no way inferior to Granny Chiyo!
Naruto firmly believed that with Kakashi-sensei's elite strength, if he truly wanted to leave the Sand, he could do so on his own without needing a rescue.
He just needed the right motivation.
...
In the distance, standing atop a high dune, Makoto watched the bizarre exchange between Naruto and Sasori.
The black, viscous entity known as Zetsu emerged from the sand nearby, its yellow eyes observing the exact same scene.
"Why not train them into a disciplined army? Can you really rely on these children to resist the Ōtsutsuki Clan as they are?" Zetsu (Kaguya) asked, her voice echoing with ancient authority.
Kaguya felt the current approach was far too playful.
"Armies follow orders perfectly, but that rigid discipline stifles their creativity," Makoto replied smoothly, the wind whipping his cloak.
"It is a useful tactic for low-to-mid-tier combatants, but entirely unnecessary for top-tier fighters. Besides, the Ōtsutsuki Clan doesn't use an organized army either; they act as arrogant individuals."
"...With your overwhelming power, you could easily become a new god, a second Rabbit Goddess. Why do you choose to interact with these mortals? They are frail, foolish, and easily distracted. Don't you feel annoyed and angry?" Kaguya pressed her second question through Zetsu's form.
"If you were truly a god, you wouldn't think that way," Makoto countered softly. "I believe that in the very beginning, you felt genuine joy from the love and cheers of your people. That is normal. Because you knew it was perfectly natural for the people of this world to be inferior to you. Just like children are naturally inferior to adults. As long as children aren't constant brats refusing to learn, adults possess immense tolerance and patience to educate them."
Makoto looked up at the sky. "Speaking of power... the Ōtsutsuki Clan's power is filled entirely with destruction. Only after combining with natural energy did the resulting Chakra Fruit bring life and longevity. To me, the power of destruction is easy to understand and acquire. Creation and life, on the other hand, are the true and incomprehensible 'power of the gods.'"
"..."
"By the way, aren't you anxious at all?" Makoto shifted the topic, looking down at 'Zetsu'.
Asking this to Kaguya made sense.
Originally, after the Limited Tsukuyomi ended and the Tailed Beast power was successfully gathered, they should have immediately started the ritual to unseal her.
Instead, Makoto had deliberately delayed the plan. Logically, she should be voicing threats and complaints.
"No. Your plan is perfect, and..." Kaguya slowly shook her head.
She hadn't been idling or merely waiting for resurrection during this time.
She had been sealed away for far too long and desperately needed to understand the current, modern state of the Shinobi World.
From understanding the core anomaly—Makoto—to expanding outward to study the Akatsuki, the Hidden Rain, the political shifts of the Five Great Nations, and the recorded history of the ninja world.
There was simply too much to learn.
Her pride would normally prevent her from actively learning from mortals, but Makoto's sheer existence and actions had completely changed her mind.
Likewise, she realized that upon coming into contact with the Ōtsutsuki Clan's power, Makoto seemed to simultaneously gain a new power.
It acted like a natural, terrifying counter to the Ōtsutsuki—an inverted form of a humanoid god.
"And what?" Makoto prompted.
"And I trust you. I've decided to give you a hand."
Kaguya extended a dark, viscous arm toward Makoto.
'A handshake?' Makoto felt deeply curious about Kaguya's intentions.
If she had recovered some of her abilities and wanted to absorb his chakra through physical contact, it wouldn't matter—he didn't have any chakra for her to drain anyway.
Without hesitation, Makoto reached out and grasped the extended hand.
"By the way, have you been fading lately? I feel like in a few days I can confidently start calling you 'Gray Zetsu,'" Makoto joked, noting the entity's lightening color.
"..."
'Zetsu' remained entirely silent.
The dark, viscous hand holding Makoto's suddenly shifted.
It turned from pitch black to stark white, as if soaked in heavy bleach, becoming perfectly pale, complete with delicate feminine fingernails.
The white hue crept rapidly up the arm, stopping right at the wrist.
Then, 'Black Zetsu's' entire body slumped.
As if struck by the devastating All-Killing Ash Bones, the rest of the dark entity turned to brittle ash and scattered into the desert wind.
All that remained was the severed, pale white hand Makoto was still casually holding.
"?"
Makoto stared at the amputated limb in his grip.
"I don't have a severed hand fetish."
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