Naruto's single, fiercely defensive line—"Don't you dare insult Kurama!"—left Kushina stunned, left the Nine-Tails completely bewildered, and only made Makoto sigh in relief.
Hearing that earnest sentence spoken out loud in the Shinobi World was about as jarring as hearing a heavy metal soundtrack in a classical ballet.
Kushina had never expected her son to be so… magnanimous? Open-minded? Generous?
But why was it that all of these wonderful, heroic qualities were always being proudly displayed at her expense?!
Meeting her son and verifying his strength and moral character should have been two incredibly heartwarming things.
So why had it turned into this horrific fever dream?!
Inside the seal, Kurama was deeply conflicted.
Even after learning the whole ugly truth, Naruto was still fiercely speaking up for him.
That completely ruined the fox's master plan!
Wasn't the idea that he would target Kushina, and once the truth came out, a massive rift would form between Naruto and himself?
Who would have thought that not only would Naruto not blame him, he would even step up to stop his own mother from criticizing him?
That actually... moved Kurama a little.
And right after being moved, the beast couldn't help but feel a massive spike of terrifying vigilance!
This absolutely could NOT be allowed to develop in the direction of the Toad Sage's prophecy!
It had to be avoided at all costs!
But after feeling vigilant, he couldn't help but feel a little moved again.
And after being moved, the sheer panic came rushing right back!
"Naruto, do you really like the Nine-Tails that much?" Makoto asked on Kushina's behalf.
"Of course!" Naruto nodded without the slightest hesitation. "Kurama has been watching over me since the day I was born, watching me grow up. He is just like a mother to me…"
Kushina: ?
Kushina suddenly felt a profound urge to manifest a clown-face reaction image above her own head.
Inside the seal, Kurama—who had still been tied up in his own emotional knots—immediately lit up like a festival lantern at those exact words.
'Mother? A mother is good! A mother is great!'
That way he could safely stay close to Naruto, wouldn't have to worry about things turning romantic like the cursed prophecy described, and could still annoy Kushina!
It was just… why a mother?
Did he really project that much feminine energy?
Wait... feminine?
Kurama had lived a very long time, and suddenly, in this highly specific situation, he realized exactly what kind of manipulative persona he needed to adopt.
[Naruto, please, don't say that! Kushina is your real mother!] Kurama's voice suddenly rang out, dripping with fake, melodramatic sorrow.
[Back then, it was all my fault! I was controlled by Madara and your parents died because of me! It is only natural that Kushina hates me this much now! Naruto, please, let Kushina come in and beat me up to vent her justified anger, and then the two of you can happily acknowledge each other and make up! Please don't let a filthy beast like me affect the beautiful bond between you and your mother~]
The Nine-Tails' voice rang out directly into the physical world.
It wasn't speaking privately in the mindscape. It was literal chakra ventriloquism.
So although Naruto's lips hadn't moved, everyone present clearly heard the Nine-Tails' tearful, self-deprecating performance.
"You—YOU?!" Kushina was completely dumbfounded, her jaw practically unhinging.
"Nine-Tails, have you no shame at all?! I never thought you'd really become exactly like your counterpart in the Limited Tsukuyomi—some innately shameless demon fox!"
The giant beast could actually say something this absurdly, sickeningly manipulative?!
Had the dream world already begun corroding reality?!
Makoto nearly lost his composure too.
Just what the hell had Kushina done to the fox back then to make it hate her this much? It would rather act all coy and spout classic "bitch" lines completely out of character for a legendary tailed beast.... just to disgust her?
Makoto only knew about the golden chains incident.
What else had Kushina done?!
"What do you mean, shameless?!" Naruto fired back defensively. "I don't understand Kurama's past, and I don't need to! No matter what he was like before, he has changed now! He is no longer a demon fox—"
"STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!" Kushina shrieked, hurriedly waving her hands frantically to cut Naruto off before he could finish the cursed incantation.
She was absolutely terrified Naruto would actually say the full, romantic line from the Limited Tsukuyomi out loud in the real world!
"Fine, Naruto! I won't stop you from forming any kind of relationship with the Nine-Tails!" Kushina let out a heavy, defeated sigh and made the hasty promise.
'Danger alert.'
Kurama, who had just been incredibly smug at winning a verbal round against it former jailer, suddenly became paralyzed with fear.
What the hell did she mean by 'ANY kind of relationship'?!
"Thank you, Mom. Kurama and I will be together forever from now on, so you can… you can go in peace," Naruto wiped away a dramatic tear in deep gratitude.
"??????????"
Kushina slowly produced a massive, invisible question mark above her head.
Go in peace?
Go where?
Why did it sound like he was talking as if she were about to pass away?
Hadn't she already died?!
"Makoto-nii, a bet is a bet. My mom is in your hands now. Next time we make a wager, I definitely won't lose again!" Naruto looked at Makoto, clenching his fist with high, unyielding fighting spirit.
"?"
Kushina grew even more horrified.
Her gaze darted back and forth between Makoto and Naruto wildly.
What was this supposed to mean?!
Why did it sound like her own son had just gambled her away to another man after losing a bet?!
Wasn't this the exact kind of degenerate, highly-censored plot that only showed up in Jiraiya-sensei's adult novels?!
Losing your own mother to someone else to settle a gambling debt?!
"Don't misunderstand. Earlier, I made a bet with Naruto. If he won, I would personally revive you first," Makoto quickly explained, sensing Kushina's spiraling, rated-R thoughts.
"Oh, I see. That's good then," Kushina let out a long sigh of relief, patting her chest.
Eh? No, wait!
She didn't even said anything out loud yet, so what exactly did Makoto mean by "don't misunderstand"?!
"Makoto-nii, Kakashi-sensei is okay, right?" Naruto asked cautiously.
"He's fine. Oh, right—do you want to see Sasuke?"
"SASUKE?! Where is Sasuke?!"
As expected.
The exact millisecond Sasuke was mentioned, Naruto immediately threw all lingering thoughts of his kidnapped teacher to the back of his mind.
In the original timeline, when the masked man and Sasuke confronted Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura, Naruto had delivered an impassioned speech to Sasuke.
"If I can't even save my friend, then how could someone like me ever become Hokage?!"
At the time, Obito had been very glad he was wearing a mask.
Otherwise, people might have seen his lips twitching in amusement.
'You little brat, Kakashi is standing right next to you! Did he hear that?!'
...
And just like that, Makoto summoned the Flying Thunder God squad.
They brought Naruto back to Konoha and dropped him off outside the village to Itachi, who was currently taking care of Sasuke.
Naruto was going to be needed on Sasuke's side very soon anyway, so it was best to let the two of them start getting in contact and used to each other ahead of time.
"..."
Kushina, who had tagged along for the ride, wore a completely baffled expression.
This was absolutely nothing like the tearful, heartwarming mother-son reunion she had imagined.
Still, Kushina was a fairly optimistic woman.
On second thought, Naruto had never actually seen her from childhood to adulthood, so why should he have any particularly deep, instant feelings for her?
Just because of blood ties? It wasn't as if there weren't parents in the Shinobi World who hated their own children and actively wanted them dead.
Blood was only blood. It did not automatically include affection.
And so, Kushina managed to mentally convince herself that the current, utterly absurd situation was perfectly normal.
Though, to be fair, she had guessed half of the reason correctly.
It was precisely because of what Naruto had learned during the Chūnin Exams—about the twisted love and hatred between Gaara and his father, Rasa—that he had come to understand that sharing blood did not mean sharing affection.
Parents could also hate their children and treat them like living weapons.
Parents were not inherently great, rather, great people sometimes happened to become parents.
In other words, vile and despicable people could become parents too.
From that moment on, Naruto had naturally stopped blindly idealizing parental love.
So his current, highly cautious attitude was perfectly justified.