Ino and Sakura were speechless at Kiba's sheer terror.
It was exactly like what folks said back during the Chūnin Exams when Kiba fought Naruto.
Kiba and Naruto's personalities were way too similar!
So similar, in fact, that in certain dirty books, Naruto's male co-star only showed up more often when Sasuke was involved.
Sure enough.
Kiba's screech gave Sakura a sudden wave of déjà vu.
'Wasn't this just Naruto in another font?'
He clearly only half-understood the situation, yet he still had to be the first idiot to jump out and broadcast his ignorance.
'Who said she need to transplanted a dick?'
'Couldn't she just ... do it herself?'
Sakura thought to herself, exchanging a quick glance with Ino.
"What's with that look, Sakura?"
When Ino caught Sakura giving her a look that practically screamed, I totally get you, her entire body went numb.
"I just don't get it. Why is it that the second Sage Mode gets mentioned, everyone's first thought is... jerking off?"
Ino shot Sakura a deeply resentful glare.
'Sakura, you and Kiba are obviously just the pot calling the kettle black. So why?'
"What's there not to understand?" Sakura laughed at Ino's complaint. "What else would it be? Didn't you literally just say you wanted a shortcut? Isn't that exactly what a shortcut is? Or do you really plan to rely on your own talent and slowly grind it out?"
"No, I refuse to believe it. Don't tell me the senpais who trained in Sage Mode back in the day relied on that crap too?"
Ino had actually already been totally persuaded, but she still had to keep arguing aloud.
Because if she didn't refute it, it'd be no different from announcing to the whole room that she was prepping to go mining in the near future.
But the second she said that...
Senju Tobirama opened his mouth a fraction, looking like he wanted to jump in.
Even though his idiot brother Hashirama was a completely depraved reincarnation of Asura's chakra, his raw strength was so absurd that he could enter Sage Mode just by clapping his hands together and holding still for a few seconds.
But that other guy, Jiraiya, was a different story.
Not too long ago, Tobirama learned that Jiraiya had actually copied his student Naruto's method and started using the "jerking off" trick to enter Sage Mode too.
"Ahem. If you want to discuss such private matters, do it on your own time."
Tobirama cut the topic off.
"Enough. This S-rank mission to spread the story is officially entrusted to all of you. It concerns the very survival of the shinobi world. Do your best."
Like a total scumbag who'd just gotten what he wanted, Senju Tobirama immediately grew impatient and tried to shoo them away.
No one complained.
Because they, too, could hardly wait to go and "keep the secret."
First on the list: spilling the tea to guys like Neji and Lee, so they could join the ranks of those "keeping the secret."
As for Senju Tobirama, he was feeling a bit impatient himself.
Today, right after getting freed from Yachihoko, he had dispatched a Shadow Clone over to Orochimaru's camp to check up on their latest research progress.
There wasn't much to report on Orochimaru's end. Everything was cooking along steadily.
However, another Akatsuki member ended up giving Tobirama a pleasant surprise.
That guy was Sasori of the Red Sand.
Thanks to Makoto's influence, Sasori had actually retained his emotions, though the leftovers mostly consisted of curiosity, competitiveness, and other traits that fueled his research.
But no matter how you sliced it, as long as Sasori chose to keep them, traces of normal human emotions were bound to stick around too.
The key point was that Sasori no longer fought against having feelings.
Because of that, when Sasori figured out during his research that actual human sensory perception could be super important, a lightbulb went off in his head.
This rang especially true when he was crafting new puppets by hand.
Touch, combined with his human puppet body, could help him judge material textures way better and assemble parts with pinpoint precision.
Smell let him directly identify the scent of certain special components.
And since his body was literally a human puppet, whenever he dealt with poisons that only attacked the physical body instead of chakra, he could just straight-up taste them to confirm their flavor and finer details.
These were basic senses normal humans possessed naturally, but for a human puppet, he had to rely on sensory perception jutsu to fake them.
And while sensory jutsu was great for gathering intel, it was pretty damn clunky for delicate, high-precision work.
Think of vision, the most direct sense.
If a guy went blind and had to rely entirely on hearing, sure, he might still scrape by as a ninja, but his combat strength would totally tank.
Thus, after some heavy research, Sasori cooked up a set of sensory formulas that could be freely toggled on and off, linking directly to his soul.
When flipped on, he got the exact same sense of touch, smell, and taste as a regular human body.
When flipped off, he went right back to being a human puppet, completely immune to pain and bodily fatigue.
You could only say it was lucky as hell that Sasori used to specialize in human puppets.
Thanks to the massive anatomical experience he racked up dissecting the Third Kazekage, he managed to perfect this brand-new technique.
However, once this new tech was finished, the person who was the most hyped about it actually wasn't Sasori.
Sasori himself didn't even care that much.
In his eyes, it was just a handy auxiliary tool for his work.
The happiest guy in the room was, of course, the Second Hokage, Senju Tobirama.
Sasuke had finally released Madara from the Chibaku Tensei.
On the surface, Madara seemed to have temporarily accepted his fate, currently chilling with Hashirama and reminiscing about the good old days.
But Tobirama knew damn well that the naturally evil Uchiha Madara was just biding his time, looking for a crack in their guard so he could kickstart his evil plan again at any second.
Besides, taking a massive step back, even if Madara truly gave up on his schemes, did that mean they should just let him enjoy a peaceful "retirement"?
No matter what, Madara needed a little punishment as a warning.
The aphrodisiac originally planted inside Madara's body to target his chakra was already gone.
Now, aside from his frail-ass body, there wasn't really much wrong with the guy.
However, there was one glaring problem.
Senju Tobirama had promised his brother that after reviving Madara with the Edo Tensei, he absolutely wouldn't lay a finger on the man.
He literally couldn't act against Madara.
So what the hell was he supposed to do?
After chewing on it for a bit, Tobirama hatched a plan.
Since he couldn't make a direct move against Madara, he'd just make Madara walk right into a trap himself.
...
Half an hour later.
Senju Tobirama brought two people along and tracked down his brother Hashirama and Uchiha Madara lounging beneath a tree.
Madara was currently parked in a wheelchair, with Hashirama happily pushing him from behind.
"Tobirama, what's all this?"
Seeing his younger brother show up with two random people, Hashirama didn't immediately grasp what he was trying to pull.
"Brother, regardless of Madara's current state, he still has to atone for the crap he pulled in the past.
"Kushina died specifically because some masked bastard calling himself 'Uchiha Madara' ripped the Nine-Tails right out of her. Madara needs to apologize and earn her forgiveness.
"As for Rin? She just tagged along with Kushina. Nothing more."
Senju Tobirama delivered the speech with a dead-serious expression.
But his actual goal was the exact opposite.
In reality, Rin was the main target. Kushina was just the cover story.
Sure enough, Madara didn't give a damn at first, but the millisecond he locked eyes with Rin, he froze solid.
'This isn't the Edo Tensei?'
'This girl was actually revived?'
'How the hell did she get revived?'
'Could it have been that little bastard Obito?'