"Hashirama, look."
After recovering from his racing thoughts, Uchiha Madara pretended he had only just noticed something.
With a faintly surprised expression, he pointed in Pakura's direction.
"Look at what?"
Hashirama followed Madara's finger.
At first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. If he had to point something out, there was a woman and a few young girls there...
'Could it be that Madara is feeling a little pent-up?'
"Madara, Edo Tensei bodies don't have physical sensation. Even if you... you know, do that, there's nothing you can really feel." Hashirama tried to tactfully shoot down Madara's supposedly repressed urges.
"That's exactly the point. Edo Tensei bodies do not have sensation. Hashirama, go say something."
Madara tried to get Hashirama to do the talking so he could dig up some intel on his behalf.
First, he had seen someone who should be six feet under walking around completely revived.
Now, he was looking at an Edo Tensei body possessing actual bodily sensation.
This forced Madara to suspect that the modern shinobi world had either developed or massively upgraded some new ninjutsu.
"Me? What am I supposed to say?" Hashirama pointed at himself, completely lost.
It was one thing for Madara to be horny.
Hashirama had totally failed to talk him down, and now the guy was asking him to go strike up a conversation? He was an honest, married man!
Besides, what the heck was Madara even talking about?
What did he mean, "not having sensation is the key"?
How was that the key to anything?
"Forget it, Hashirama. Why don't you just lock me back up instead? After all, you clearly aren't willing to let me understand the current shinobi world."
Seeing Hashirama hesitate, Madara sighed and spouted a guilt-trip so manipulative that even he felt disgusted by his own words.
Sure enough, the second Hashirama heard that, he caved.
He braced himself and trudged over toward Pakura and the three little girls.
But what exactly was he supposed to say?
Hashirama racked his brain while inching forward like a damn tortoise.
His creeping movements instantly put Pakura on high alert.
Ever since getting dragged back via Edo Tensei, Pakura had been on edge to begin with.
She had only relaxed a fraction because her disciple, Maki, was there.
Now, a random guy who was also an Edo Tensei—dressed weirdly and sporting an incredibly shady expression—was slowly creeping toward her.
She noticed him at once.
Pakura quickly devoured the rest of the grilled sausage in her right hand, casually tossed the skewer aside, and freed up her palm, ready to blast him with Scorch Release.
"Hm?"
Hashirama noticed that Pakura had noticed him.
It was only right then that he actually realized the woman was also an Edo Tensei.
Now Hashirama finally understood.
Madara wasn't horny after all.
He was just curious why someone with a reanimated body was eating!
'Wonderful.' Hashirama let out a massive breath of relief.
He knew it.
How could a guy like Madara suddenly get interested in women out of nowhere?
That would have been way too weird!
For a second there, he almost suspected Tobirama had messed with Madara's head, or that Madara had suffered a total mental breakdown after all the earlier chaos.
Now he could finally relax.
"Um, excuse me," Hashirama started. "You're an Edo Tensei shinobi, right? Why exactly are you eating and drinking?"
Hashirama didn't bother beating around the bush.
Since she had already spotted him anyway, he just dropped the question point-blank.
"Hm? You don't know?" Pakura was pretty stunned by the question herself.
She glanced over at the three little girls.
She had only just been revived through the Edo Tensei and barely knew a thing about the modern shinobi world.
So far, the three girls had only given her a crash course on Amegakure, the Edo Tensei, contribution points, and Kazekage Gaara.
They hadn't even had time to give her the full information.
"Oh, they said it's a new feature," Maki chimed in, answering Hashirama. "It was developed by Sasori of the Red Sand. It's a formula that gives Edo Tensei shinobi the exact same sensory perception and sense of touch as living people. If you want it too, you can go apply for it. Yeah, that's what Orochimaru said."
"There's actually something that good now?"
Hashirama was overjoyed!
Without bothering to ask for a single extra detail, he spun right around and bolted back, spilling everything to Madara.
"This is amazing! I've wanted to stuff my face for so long. And soak in a hot spring too...Hiks, this is what it means to be alive!"
As Hashirama spoke, he suddenly started bawling like a damsel in distress, giving Madara a splitting headache.
But Hashirama's reaction lined up perfectly with Madara's actual objective, so Madara just played along.
"Hashirama, you're right. Being a walking corpse with no sensation is eternal torment."
"Madara, let's go track down Orochimaru and get this upgrade too!" Hashirama wiped away tears that totally didn't exist and excitedly grabbed Madara's shoulders.
"Mm. Very well." Madara gave a calm nod.
This was exactly his goal.
To him, once he got his five senses back, even if his current body was frail, he'd still be able to bump up his strength a bit.
Even if it wasn't a massive buff, it would at least increase his margin for error and give him a lot more room to maneuver in a fight.
Furthermore, going to find Orochimaru gave him the perfect excuse to meet the guy.
He could use the opportunity to dig into what the hell was going on with Nohara Rin's impossible revival.
Was she brought back using the Rinnegan, or some brand-new method?
"Let's go, Hashirama. We'll find this man called Orochimaru."
Madara kept his face perfectly calm, while inwardly thinking, 'All according to keikaku.'
"No rush! Let me buy some snacks first. That way, we can test if it actually works the second we get it." Hashirama excitedly shook his head, then wheeled Madara straight toward a street food stall.
"I've wanted to eat this stuff for ages!"
"One of these, please. Oh, and this..."
Hashirama ordered a massive amount of food.
Then he dumped half of it right onto Madara's lap and hung the rest off the wheelchair, treating the legendary Uchiha like a glorified shopping cart!
"..."
'Endure it.' Madara closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
For the sake of his grand plan, he swallowed his pride and endured it!
"Madara, I'm gonna grab some more over there. Don't wander off!"
After piling more junk food into Madara's lap, Hashirama bolted toward another stall.
Right at that moment, Pakura and the three girls from earlier strolled up to the exact same stall and started buying snacks.
The trio was busy filling Pakura in on Sunagakure's current situation.
Fortunately, they were standing close by.
Otherwise, given Madara's currently frail state, he might not have been able to hear them clearly over the street noise.
"Because Granny Chiyo's son and daughter-in-law were killed by the White Fang, and because her grandson Sasori became withdrawn and defected from the village right after, Granny Chiyo started obsessing over a way to revive her son and daughter-in-law. To pull it off, she developed a forbidden technique called One's Own Life Reincarnation."
"That jutsu literally trades Granny Chiyo's own life for theirs, and it costs a massive amount of chakra."
"Honestly, I was just thinking... if she really wants her grandson to stop being lonely, using the Edo Tensei would be more than enough. There's no need for Granny Chiyo to sacrifice herself."
"I think you girls need to go back and persuade Granny Chiyo to be careful," Pakura warned.
"Careful? Master, careful of what?" The three girls looked completely puzzled.
"There are more and more shinobi getting revived through the Edo Tensei right now, but at the end of the day, none of us are truly alive. What if someone decides they want a real revival?"
"What if some naturally evil bastard decides that, just to get revived, he'll sweet-talk Granny Chiyo, claim he wants a romance with her, and then manipulate her into using that jutsu on him?"
"Take that creepy old geezer who came over to hit on us just now, for example. One glance and you can tell the guy has shifty eyes."
The "creepy old geezer" Pakura was talking about was, of course, Hashirama.
Hearing someone openly insult Hashirama definitely pissed Madara off, but Pakura's words were like a bucket of pure enlightenment pouring right over his head.
He was instantly both shocked and absolutely thrilled.
'There really is a brand-new method of resurrection?!'
------
Chiyo is a hot commodity now!