Konohamaru's inspiration struck when he remembered his late grandfather, Sarutobi Hiruzen, and his uncle, Sarutobi Asuma.
In the original timeline, Konohamaru mastered the Third Hokage's Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique, as well as Asuma's Ash Pile Burning jutsu.
He even nearly wiped the floor with Temari using it when she underestimated him.
Now, Konohamaru recalled Ash Pile Burning, a jutsu he hadn't yet learned in this timeline.
Ash Pile Burning worked in two stages: first, the user spat out a massive cloud of high-temperature ash, blanketing a wide area to blind the enemy and inflict continuous chip damage.
Second, when the enemy dropped their guard, the user ignited the cloud with a flint click or Fire Release, triggering a violent thermobaric explosion.
Kakashi had warned him earlier that Fire and Wind Release couldn't safely stimulate the nervous system at low power like Lightning Release could.
Fire Release was basically low-temperature slow cooking.
Wind Release's core trait was slicing.
Either the output was too low and nothing happened, or the output was too high and you sliced off your own dick.
Unless the user harbored some extreme masochistic fetishes, Wind Release was completely off the table.
On paper, both elements were useless for this.
But Konohamaru remembered a conversation he overheard during a spar between his uncle and grandfather.
After Asuma unleashed Ash Pile Burning on the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Body Flickered out of the blast radius instantly.
Then, while continuing the spar, the old man lectured Asuma on the jutsu's fatal flaw.
The primary lethal damage came from the second step—the ignition.
The first step, spraying the burning ash, dealt damage, but the output was pitifully low.
In Sarutobi Hiruzen's exact words, if that cloud hit the Third Raikage, it would not even qualify as Pop Rocks for him.
That absurd comparison sparked an idea.
Konohamaru decided to engineer a brand new Fire Release jutsu that inflicted micro-damage through bursting sparks.
The sting from the sparks would be more aggressive than the ambient heat of Ash Pile Burning.
But because the sparks were microscopic and the contact area was practically zero, as long as he throttled the density of the cloud, he could perfectly calibrate the damage output.
It worked on the exact same logic as a senbon.
A senbon was just a thick needle.
Both a kunai and a senbon could pierce human flesh, but the trauma caused by a senbon was drastically lower.
In this theoretical jutsu, the sparks needed to be infinitely smaller than a senbon.
The smaller, the better.
He wanted to turn the cloud into literal, weaponized Pop Rocks.
As for why he needed a lighter and a pack of cigarettes?
Because he had to actually learn Ash Pile Burning before he could reverse-engineer it into a new technique.
Kakashi's Purple Electricity evolved from the foundation of the Raikiri.
Konohamaru, who had never engineered a jutsu in his life, couldn't just build a castle in the sky out of thin air.
"Konohamaru, children aren't allowed to smoke," Kakashi gently reminded him.
"Uh." Konohamaru, who was half a second away from sparking the lighter, froze in place.
Then what was he supposed to do?
In the shinobi world, learning new elemental techniques required physical props.
For example, in the original timeline, when Naruto wanted to master the combo jutsu Wind Release: Toad Gun, he needed Gamatatsu to learn Water Release.
The training method? Making the toad hold a massive mouthful of river water and violently spit it out.
And it actually worked.
The neighboring Pokémon universe operated on the exact same logic.
When Ash taught Treecko Bullet Seed, the two of them sat around eating watermelon and spitting the seeds like machine guns.
It was an incredibly reasonable training method.
Now Konohamaru wanted to master a jutsu based on exhaling burning ash, so of course he needed to take a puff of a cigarette first to get the lung feel right.
But Kakashi shut it down.
Then what?
Was he supposed to figure it out through sheer imagination?
While Konohamaru stood there paralyzed, Kakashi smoothly plucked the cigarette from his fingers.
"I'll be confiscating this. Konohamaru, brainstorm another method. I believe in your potential." Kakashi waved the stolen cigarette, then stood up.
"Oh, right. I should probably have a chat with a few people."
Kakashi prepared to march straight back to Konoha to remind the Sarutobi clan elders and the local shopkeepers that selling tobacco to a kid was strictly prohibited!
"Huh?" Konohamaru reached out to grab his teacher's vest.
But in the next second, Kakashi vanished in a blur.
Against elite jōnin speed, a genin had no hope of catching up.
"Naruto-niichan, I need to run back to the village for a bit! Wait right here!"
Dropping that sentence, Konohamaru bolted toward Konoha.
There was no helping it.
Without physical props, he couldn't start the training process.
What, was he supposed to go inhale the toxic ash from some civilian's coal stove?
Wouldn't that destroy his lungs entirely? Konohamaru at least had the common sense to avoid that.
Besides, he already laid out his ninja way.
He, Konohamaru, didn't give a damn about his future biological development.
He had to secure power to protect the present!
Kakashi even acknowledged his resolve!
So why did the adult suddenly backpedal and play the morality card?
Konohamaru couldn't understand the hypocrisy. Therefore, he decided to hide from Kakashi and brute-force the training in secret.
But after sneaking back into Konoha, he discovered that no matter which convenience store he hit, he couldn't buy the goods.
The most miserable casualty of Kakashi's crusade was Shikamaru, who had officially checked out of the shinobi rat race and entered ultimate slacker mode.
Influenced by Asuma and his own father, Shikamaru also enjoyed a smoke and a drink.
But because Kakashi swept through the commercial district like a one-man DEA task force, even Shikamaru got blacklisted from buying alcohol and tobacco.
Shikamaru's retirement quality of life tanked instantly!
"What a drag... Who the hell snitched me?" Shikamaru stood outside a shuttered bodega, helplessly scratching his head.
Konohamaru, who was just about to give up and leave the district, heard the familiar voice and paused.
He ducked behind a wooden pillar and started spying.
Shikamaru.
Konohamaru knew the guy.
He was Uncle Asuma's former subordinate. He also belonged to the Nara clan, the people his Grandpa called Konoha's ultimate brain trust.
Most importantly, in the recent Nara clan exams, Shikamaru took first place and officially earned the legal right to slack off for the rest of his life.
What did that mean? It meant Shikamaru's IQ was leagues above his own!
So now that the genius was facing the exact same supply-chain dilemma, didn't that mean Konohamaru just needed to tail Shikamaru to find the black market?
Konohamaru pumped his fist in excitement.
But he didn't dare expose himself. Kakashi's "betrayal" already taught him a harsh lesson about the cold, hypocritical shinobi world built by adults.
He couldn't guarantee Shikamaru wouldn't betrayed him just like Kakashi did.
So he had to stay in the shadows.
Just like that, Konohamaru tailed Shikamaru all the way to a highly suspicious storefront.
None of the shops on this specific street were local Konoha brands. They were foreign flagship stores set up by other ninja villages.
This particular shop looked like a brand-new grand opening.
A life-sized cardboard cutout of Kumogakure's Killer B stood proudly by the entrance.
If you crept closer, you could hear an incredibly strange rap beat bumping from the speakers inside.
"Stick a fat smoke rod right in your mouth, I only puff the fifth gen, straight from the south~"
"Puff real fast, it never breaks, no flame needed, feels so great! Yo, B, come try a hit, my lungs are itching real quick~"
Amid the oddly catchy, degenerate melody, Shikamaru purchased something at the counter and walked out looking thoroughly satisfied.
Then he hit the store next door and bought a heavy crate of alcohol-free, yellow-foamed drinks.
Konohamaru didn't give a damn about the drinks.
After confirming the coast was clear, he sprinted into the Kumogakure shop and stared at the "ninja tools" displayed behind the glass.
Lightning Smokes!
Fantastic!
So this was a modern scientific ninja tool? Completely immune to traditional Konoha tobacco laws!
Konohamaru happily slapped his allowance on the counter and bought a full starter kit of Lightning Smokes.
After slipping out of the store, he cautiously scanned the street before stuffing the contraband into his pockets.
He needed to find a secure location to train in absolute secrecy!
---
Here if y'all confused about the Pop rock means :
Pop rocks refers to popping candy—small candy crystals that crackle and pop in your mouth.
Here, Hiruzen means Ash Pile Burning's initial hot ash would be so harmless against the Third Raikage that it wouldn't even give him a tiny tingling sensation.