"This friend of yours is not quite on your level, Kakashi."
After finishing the manuscript, the publisher took a slow sip of tea and sighed.
"Huh?" Kakashi was caught off guard.
Had he really written it that poorly?
"Kakashi, I'm only being this blunt because he's your friend," the publisher continued.
If anyone else walked into his office claiming, "My friend wrote this," the publisher would have immediately asked whether that "friend" was actually them.
But Kakashi was different!
Kakashi already had several wildly successful novels to his name, and the manuscript sitting on the desk directly conflicted with the lore established in those earlier books.
"Look at what it says right here. 'Long ago, the Sage of Six Paths traveled throughout the shinobi world and spread chakra to every corner? And now the protagonist intends to retrace the Sage's path?' That completely contradicts history!"
"History?"
"Of course! Didn't you write it before? The Sage of Six Paths wandered across the land, engaging in massive, wild orgies with people everywhere, spreading chakra across the shinobi world like a contagious fever. This new manuscript mentions that true historical event, but then heavily sanitizes it. As a result, everything the protagonist does afterward feels far too respectable."
The publisher spoke with absolute, professional seriousness.
"So that's the problem..." Kakashi suddenly understood.
Although Kakashi was not the true original author of those earlier cursed books, he had read them over and over again.
Naturally, he knew their contents inside and out.
So the publisher took everything in those trashy romance novels as actual, recorded history...
Come to think of it, was the publisher really the only one who did that?
Kakashi suspected he wasn't.
The shinobi world barely possessed any surviving historical records to begin with.
Even when such records existed, very few ninja or civilians bothered studying cultural subjects.
Once popular novels filled that empty void, their contents naturally became everyone's shared memory of history.
"Actually, boss, this protagonist isn't all that respectable either. The method he intends to spread is..."
Kakashi leaned in and explained the exact physical mechanics of the shortcut Naruto planned to teach.
"Are you serious?! You should have led with that!"
"Now that sounds right!"
"The reincarnation of the Sage of Six Paths' son—whose father spread chakra through endless wild orgies—is about to make the entire shinobi world experience ultimate physical bliss! That's perfectly logical!"
"Yes, exactly! Tell your friend to write it exactly like that!" The publisher instantly became fired up.
"Alright. I understand." Kakashi sighed.
...
After leaving the publishing house, Kakashi headed to the village gates, where he had agreed to meet Naruto and Konohamaru.
Neither of them had arrived yet, so he could only lean against the wall and wait.
Since he had nothing else to do, Kakashi processed the plot revisions he just discussed with the publisher.
Suddenly, inspiration began pouring through his mind like a flood.
He pulled a small notebook and pen from his tactical vest and started writing.
Kakashi had finally fallen to the dark side.
Originally, he wanted to write a serious, uplifting epic.
But the publisher mercilessly exposed the brutal reality of the literary market right to his face.
On top of that, Kakashi had always harbored a secret degenerate streak beneath his calm, cool exterior.
Once someone pointed him in the right direction, he felt no psychological resistance and immediately changed course.
The Limited Tsukuyomi series had already offered an explanation for the story of Ōtsutsuki Kaguya and the Sage of Six Paths.
According to those books, the Sage was a furry fanatic whose bizarre tastes brought him into conflict with his mother.
But what was the Limited Tsukuyomi series? Right at the beginning, the author clearly stated that although the alternate world had some connection to reality, most things there were reversed.
In other words, the Limited Tsukuyomi series was the easiest authority to challenge.
Kakashi decided to fill in the missing lore and reconstruct the events of the "real shinobi world," differing from the alternate universe version.
As the saying went, after reading three hundred poems, even someone incapable of writing poetry could still recite a few lines.
Kakashi had read so many shameless novels that writing this kind of material now felt entirely natural.
He felt the publisher was absolutely right.
The Sage of Six Paths spread chakra through massive orgies, while Naruto spread senjutsu chakra through masturbating.
It was perfectly logical.
And since it was logical, Kakashi could reverse-engineer the rest of ancient history from that foundation.
Thus, the story became the following:
Ōtsutsuki Kaguya was an ascetic.
Through the blessings of the land, she gave birth to the Sage of Six Paths and his brother.
From childhood, the Sage of Six Paths was raised under his mother's strict, joyless teachings.
However, the ordinary people of the land continued reproducing through traditional methods, so the Sage inevitably witnessed such things.
Long-term abstinence caused the half of his blood tied to humanity to become unbearably repressed.
Kaguya's ascetic education completely backfired.
The Sage of Six Paths became utterly shameless!
He constantly used his Byakugan to spy on things he absolutely should not have been looking at.
To clean up the Sage's messes and hide the evidence, Kaguya had no choice but to drag his victims beneath the Divine Tree and transform them into White Zetsu, erasing them completely.
Before that, the ancient people only went beneath the Divine Tree when they were near death, receiving what amounted to painless euthanasia.
Kaguya's aggressive cover-ups terrified them.
They mistakenly believed she intended to kill everyone.
Instead of feeling grateful that his mother cleaned up his scandals, the Sage of Six Paths seized the opportunity to overthrow her rule.
He no longer wanted his mother controlling him. He no longer wished to remain a virgin!
And so, the two brothers joined forces and sealed Ōtsutsuki Kaguya.
After sealing his mother, the Sage of Six Paths was finally freed from years of repression.
He began celebrating wildly across the land, fucking every single things he met.
That was how countless kekkei genkai and powerful bloodlines connected to the Sage appeared throughout the shinobi world.
Even Kumogakure's Treasured Tools of the Sage of Six Paths had hidden, scandalous origins.
The Kōkinjō rope was actually used by the Sage during intimate bondage games.
The Crimson Gourd and the Amber Purifying Pot were the earliest historical prototypes of the silicone toys later sold by the 'Bottle-kun' stores.
The Bashōsen was covered in feathers because it was originally designed for tickling!
And the Seven Stars Sword? That one was especially impressive.
It had been used to perform the original One Thousand Years of Death.
Why was the Raikage clan's inherited technique the Lightning Release Chakra Mode?
Why did every single generation of Raikage possess such absurdly strong physical defenses?
Because their ancestors had been repeatedly whipped with the Kōkinjō by the Sage of Six Paths!
After enduring the electrical punishment over and over again during their wild parties with the Sage, their bodies eventually evolved to project the powerful, defensive Lightning Armor.
"Perfect."
After finishing that entire section, Kakashi felt refreshed from head to toe.
It was an incredibly cathartic creative experience!
When he spotted Naruto and Konohamaru approaching in the distance, he hurriedly and carefully tucked the notebook away.
This was the first piece of literature he had ever truly written with his own hand.
It was extremely precious!
"Kakashi-sensei, which ninja village should we visit first?" Naruto asked, suffering from severe choice paralysis.
He and Konohamaru discussed it the entire walk there, yet still failed to reach a decision.
In the past, they would simply start with the closest village geographically.
But now that the Flying Raijin Formation could instantly teleport them anywhere on the map, near and far were effectively the same.
That lack of restrictions was exactly what caused the problem.
"How about starting with the most difficult one?" Kakashi suggested.