Over in Amegakure, Jiraiya and Yugito's arrival—combined with Orochimaru's newly perfected genetic modification technology—sparked a massive, village-wide craze for senjutsu training.
Kumogakure might have been the first village Naruto officially visited as an ambassador, but in practice, Amegakure had already pulled far ahead in the arms race.
The guiding principle in the Rain Village was incredibly simple: The wealthy relied on technology.
The poor relied on masturbating
Anyone with enough faction contribution points could apply for Orochimaru's genetic modification service, transforming senjutsu from a painstakingly acquired skill into an innate, biological ability similar to a kekkei genkai.
Instead of meditating for years to learn it, they could command natural energy almost instinctively.
Those without enough contribution points had to settle for the next best option: the Sage Mode shortcut developed by Konoha's Uzumaki Naruto.
Other than being deeply inappropriate and humiliating, it had no notable physical side effects.
In truth, even among those who could afford Orochimaru's premium service, most still flatly refused to use it.
On a subconscious level, they simply did not trust Orochimaru.
More importantly, they did not trust anything Orochimaru researched or injected.
For a civilization that had never experienced the bitter misery of falling behind technologically and being crushed for it, instinctively rejecting advanced science was a perfectly normal reaction.
...
News of these rapid developments gradually reached the secluded cave where Obito was imprisoned.
After the original members of the Akatsuki were brought back through the Edo Tensei, they successfully hunted down Madara and Obito and took their brutal revenge.
Madara's exact location was naturally exposed afterward.
To conceal his true purpose, Madara claimed he had only come to physically discipline Obito because the brat committed far too many atrocities across the shinobi world while wearing his name.
Madara even magnanimously volunteered to be imprisoned in the exact same cave.
He insisted he could help persuade Obito to abandon evil and return to the proper path.
More importantly, staying locked inside a maximum-security prison would stop him from running into the inherently evil Senju Tobirama outside and suffering yet another round of inhumane psychological torture.
Madara believed that final, unspoken excuse made his cover story vastly more convincing.
In reality... well, his request for joint imprisonment was accepted in the end.
Thus, the pair of Uchiha Madara and Uchiha Obito began living together once again, just like the good old times.
The only thing missing was White Zetsu waiting on them hand and foot.
As news about Sage Mode and other outside developments continued to be "accidentally" leaked into their prison block by guards, Obito immediately began plotting.
All the chakra in his body was currently locked down by the Scorch Release: Heavenly Prison seal.
But after hearing that senjutsu training was spreading like wildfire outside, Obito suddenly realized a massive loophole.
The Heavenly Prison restricted chakra. It did not restrict natural energy!
In other words, if he could somehow master senjutsu in his cell, he might be able to forcefully reactivate his Kamui and escape this damned prison.
Once he was free, safely removing the Heavenly Prison seal would merely be a matter of time.
Obito became incredibly patient.
Every day, he quietly pressed his ear to the bars, eavesdropping on the guards delivering their supplies, soaking in whatever they discussed before leaving.
In the original Blood Prison movie, Naruto remained fully capable of fighting by entering Sage Mode even after the Heavenly Prison seal restricted his nine-tails chakra.
Obito's logic was structurally flawless.
Unfortunately, he overlooked one massive problem.
His unusual, quiet behavior also caught Madara's attention in the neighboring cell.
Madara quickly realized that Obito intended to orchestrate a prison break using Sage Mode.
That made Madara incredibly nervous.
If Obito regained his spatial powers and escaped first, the brat might beat Madara to the prize and become the Ten-Tails' jinchūriki.
...
However... on the third day, the crucial piece of information finally arrived.
The two guards delivering their meals had also begun practicing Sage Mode.
Every day, they compared notes and discussed their progress in the hallway.
Today, Madara and Obito finally learned what Naruto's so-called "shortcut" actually involved.
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
After hearing the physical requirements, Madara once again transformed into one of the legendary, mad Uchiha laughers, his cackles echoing off the stone walls of the neighboring cell.
Obito collapsed onto the cold floor in utter despair.
Naruto had designed this specifically to screw him over! Why the hell did the shortcut have to be that?
"UZUMAKI NARUTO!" Obito threw his head back and howled with pure, unadulterated fury and despair.
....
"Achoo!"
Naruto, who had just arrived at the gates of Iwagakure, sneezed violently.
He rubbed his nose and looked around the barren, rocky terrain.
"Why does this place feel so weird? I'm really not used to it."
Naruto hadn't noticed much difference in living conditions while visiting Kumogakure.
But after arriving in the Hidden Stone, the environmental contrast immediately became obvious.
"Weird? That's because Konoha occupies the richest and most fertile land in the entire shinobi world. Though if you want truly harsh conditions, Sunagakure is still much worse."
A gruff voice came from behind them.
It was Ōnoki.
After traveling all the way to Amegakure with Madara to stop the entirely fictional "Uchiha Obito incident," Ōnoki had finally returned to Iwagakure.
The entire diplomatic journey was a massive waste of time, and he had completely failed to uncover Madara's true objective.
The only positive outcome was that the chaotic incident finally convinced the wandering jinchūriki, Rōshi, to return to the village.
"Lord Tsuchikage." As the only responsible adult among the three, Kakashi immediately displayed the polished manners of an experienced diplomat.
"Follow me." Ōnoki floated effortlessly through the air, leading the three Konoha ninja toward his private residence.
After arranging seats for them in his parlor, he finally spoke.
"My granddaughter Kurotsuchi is the current Tsuchikage. But that brat finds the job troublesome, so she only handles domestic matters within the Land of Earth. She dumped everything involving foreign affairs onto this retired old man. That means I'll be the one receiving you during this diplomatic visit. Whatever business brought you here, hurry up and explain it."
While Ōnoki spoke formally with the three Konoha visitors in the parlor, Deidara was actually rummaging through drawers and cabinets in the very next room.
His artistic inspiration had recently hit a severe bottleneck.
To overcome his creative block, he decided to return home and revisit his roots in Iwagakure.
Today, he broke into Ōnoki's house to thoroughly search for the old man's former ninjutsu manuals, Dust Release notes, training diaries, and anything else that might prove useful.
Deidara had absolutely no intention of learning those boring techniques.
He merely wanted reference material to stimulate his explosive creativity.
And while he was at it, he could haul the classified documents back to Orochimaru and trade them for a massive bounty of contribution points.
Strictly speaking, Akatsuki members did not need contribution points to request resources.
But possessing points granted VIP priority access, it allowed them to skip the queue.
"Hm?" Hearing voices next door, Deidara immediately stopped searching.
'The old bastard came back?'
He cautiously molded a tiny clay spider, sent it under the doorframe to scout the parlor, and confirmed the situation.
Then, he abandoned his burglary, pressed his ear flat against the wall, and began eavesdropping.
He had come looking for inspiration anyway.
He might as well hear what the old man was discussing and who he was meeting with.
And so... in the next room, Kakashi followed the exact same diplomatic procedure they had used in Kumogakure.
He first handed Ōnoki a copied scroll, then began seriously explaining the purpose of their visit.
"Sage Mode? To fight the Ōtsutsuki clan?"
Just as the Raikage had predicted, once Ōnoki heard the reason, he did not hesitate.
He immediately began considering whether he could master the technique himself.
Ōnoki's love for Iwagakure was no weaker than the Raikage's fierce love for Kumogakure.
For the sake of their respective villages, both proud Kage were perfectly willing to throw their dignity straight into the trash.
"NANI? You can do it like that?"
Listening through the wall, Deidara was completely stunned to learn that the Konoha ninja had developed such an obscenely efficient shortcut.
It reminded him of all the utterly deranged tactical plans Makoto used to propose back when he served as the Akatsuki's strategist.
At the same time, Deidara couldn't help but wonder whether he could master senjutsu too.
Almost instinctively, he lifted his arm and glanced down at his hand.
There was a fully functional mouth in the center of his palm.
Mm.
Nothing happened.
Anyone imagining otherwise clearly had a filthy mind!
---------
Read 40 chapters ahead and support me on patreon.
patreon (.)com/Newbietranslator