The dead are buried beneath the earth but ambition is buried inside the living and unlike corpses, ambition never truly rots.
Slowly lowering her head, Sanae gasped at how quiet the room had become since everyone had left because of the volume of her thoughts were the only sounds available to compare the blankness of the empty room.
Nami Lan
The mere mention of Nami Lan brings back the memories from long ago and the old wounds pour forth onto her soul for what appears to be the first time. Her father stood where she stood just like so many others have done before them.
Infatuated by something that has no limits and she had no dreams of completing or happy with what she gained. When her father spoke about Nami Lan he called it everything from paradise to hell because it was supposed to be the one place where divinity and the empire couldn't reach for a prize that has no value on earth would lay untouched.
Nami Lan is the only place where the past, the present and the future all intertwine into one great black hole of nothingness. Unfortunately, as with all other man with the same ambition, her father simply walked into that hole and was never seen again.
Sanae slowly closed her fingers into one solid piece, as she recalled how when the survivors returned from Nami Lan their eyes were vacant, their bodies broken and the one person she so desperately wanted to see was not among them.
Although she did not want to hate Nami Lan for what happened to her father, there was an understanding deep within her that her father would continue to fight against any fear, including his own in order to make his dreams real.
Feeling a soft touch upon her shoulder, Sanae's mind went blank as she turned to see who had placed a hand on her shoulder. Next to her stood Mentesh, gazing off in silence with his back to her and his expression as unreadable as always.
"Do you still feel guilt about this day or do you have a different reason for being here?" he asked, softly.
With a slow, heavy sigh, Sanae began to lift her head; but her expression was now one of fatigue, rather than the excitement she had previously shown; and her voice was much lower than before.
"This isn't about blaming myself at all. I do not have hatred for Nami Lan, at least not entirely."
Her fingers moved together slightly, tightening as they did so.
"If I have hatred for anyone, it is for my father. He has never stopped talking about Nami Lan. The way he speaks of this brings images of it being the most sacred palace built just for the Empire."
Her eyes darkened a little more.
"He spent all of his time and energy trying to reach Nami Lan, his loyalty to it, and the hope that it would become a place he could die in. But when he died, I was told that he died in a very painful way."
Sanae slowly clenched her fist.
"So how am I supposed to respect someone who allowed all of his passions to die when he went to pursue a dream that killed him?"
Mentesh remained silent while looking at her for several long moments.
Even though he remained calm, there was sorrow etched into the look in his eyes; and the look in his eyes was filled with memories from long ago that still lingered in the quietness of their surroundings.
"The heart is the source of all emotions, while the head forms our judgments."
Sanae remained quiet as Mentesh continued.
"The decision to love or hate your father is your own."
Mentesh's face softened at this point.
"However, the one thing I do know is that your father was the loudest person in the unit."
Mentesh released almost a chuckle.
"Through the good and bad, he was always smiling."
Sanae perked up at this point, and Mentesh once again looked out the window.
"Eventually, none of us would call him Jofe anymore. We simply called him 'The Knight of Smiles.'"
"Knight of Smiles...," Sanae spoke the words softly to herself as if trying to validate that this was indeed the name of her father.
Mentesh nodded his head.
"Yes."
Then he turned to look at her.
"Every time you smile, I think of your father."
Sanae's eyes opened wide.
"Your father and I were both in the Dark Division from the very beginning; we were just two reckless young fools trying to achieve the same goal."
A slight grin spread across Mentesh's face; it was small but sincere.
"Defeating Nami Lan. We both had our fates determined long before we ever set foot in that place."
He slowly crossed his arms over his chest.
"Like you, I am committed to achieving that ultimate goal no matter what it takes."
Afterwards, his eyes took on a somewhat darker hue.
"Your father…Mr. Smile Knight or perhaps Bakin Yaktine, Fourth Squad Commander of the Dark Division, was an incredible man."
For just a moment, the once-cold and collected First Squad Commander lost all of his power and authority and looked like a soldier reminiscing about a fallen brother.