Time passed. Ibiki eliminated half the room with psychological warfare so thick you could cut it with a kunai.
Finally, the 45 minutes were up.
"Pencils down!" Ibiki roared, his voice echoing off the walls. "Now for the Tenth Question."
He gave the speech. The ultimatum. Take it and risk eternal Genin status if you fail, or quit now and try next year.
People started leaving. The pressure broke them. Teams walked out, heads hanging low.
Naruto sat there, trembling. He didn't know a single answer.
I watched him. This is it. The Shonen Protagonist Moment.
Naruto slammed his hand onto the desk. BAM.
"Don't underestimate me! I don't quit! I don't run! Even if I stay a Genin forever... I will become Hokage anyway! Believe it!"
The room went silent. His stubbornness shattered Ibiki's pressure like glass.
Ibiki looked at the defiant boy. A small, genuine smile touched his scarred lips.
"Very well," Ibiki announced, tearing off his bandana to reveal the horrific burn scars underneath. "Everyone remaining in this room... PASS!"
"WHAAAT?!" The students shouted in unison.
Ibiki explained the true meaning of the test: information gathering and the courage to face the unknown.
"Wait," I raised my hand lazily.
Ibiki looked at me. "What is it, Number 106?"
"So... we don't have to answer the 10th question?" I asked, holding up a bulging envelope. "Because I was ready to bribe you. I have 5 million Ryo in my pocket right now. Cash. Small bills. Non-sequential serial numbers."
Ibiki's eye twitched violently. The scars on his head seemed to throb. "Get out of my sight, Kenji. Before I arrest you for attempting to corrupt a public official."
"Yes, sir," I saluted. "Love the scars, by the way. Very rugged. Have you tried aloe vera?"
[The Entrance of the Crazy Proctor]
Just as everyone was celebrating—
CRASH!
The window shattered inward. Shards of glass flew everywhere. A dark blur flew into the room, rolling and unfolding a massive banner that read: "The Proctor of the Second Exam: Mitarashi Anko!"
"Alright, you maggots!"
A woman stood at the front, posing dramatically. She wore a mesh body suit that left nothing to the imagination, a tan trench coat, and a skirt so short it was legally a belt.
Purple hair. Wild eyes. A smile that promised pain.
Anko Mitarashi.
[Passive Skill: Anatomy Scan - Active][Target: Anko Mitarashi][Status: Crazy / Dango Addict / Sadist.][Measurements: B91 - W58 - H89.][Danger Level: High (She bites).]
"I'm your next proctor!" Anko shouted, striking a pose. "Ibiki! You let 26 teams pass? You're going soft! You look like a teddy bear!"
"Or maybe we just have a talented batch," Ibiki grunted, gathering his papers. "Or a troublesome one." He glanced at me.
Anko followed his gaze. She looked at the room full of hopeful faces.
"Talented?" Anko licked her lips, her eyes gleaming with manic energy. "We'll see about that. By the time I'm done with them in the Forest of Death... half of them will be dead!"
"Forest of Death?" Sakura whimpered, clutching Sasuke's arm.
"Sexy," I said aloud.
The room went quiet. Even the crickets outside stopped chirping.
Anko turned her head slowly. She locked eyes with me.
"What did you say, brat?"
"I said 'Sexy'," I repeated, leaning back in my chair and putting my feet on the desk. "The mesh suit. The trench coat. The 'I will step on you and laugh' attitude. It's a strong look. 9/10. Would let you step on me."
Anko blinked. Usually, Genin were terrified of her.
She grinned, a predatory smile that showed her sharpened canines.
She vanished.
WHOOSH.
She appeared right in front of my face, slamming a kunai into the desk between my legs.
THUNK.
"You have guts, kid," Anko whispered, her face inches from mine. She smelled of dango syrup and fresh blood. "Or maybe you just have a death wish. I like boys with guts. They make a nice squelch sound when I crush them."
"I like women with mesh," I countered, looking her straight in the eye (and then letting my gaze drift lower to the visible cleavage through the netting). "They offer excellent ventilation. Very aerodynamic."
Anko laughed. A loud, cackling laugh.
"I like you!" She pulled the kunai out.
She decided to intimidate me further. She leaned in, her tongue extending slightly, snakelike. She meant to lick my cheek—a classic intimidation tactic she learned from Orochimaru.
She lunged.
But I didn't flinch. I didn't pull back.
Instead, I turned my head slightly and opened my mouth.
Slurp.
Anko's tongue didn't hit my cheek. It went straight into my mouth.
The room froze. Sakura gagged. Ino covered her eyes. Sasuke looked like he wanted to sanitize the air.
I didn't back down. I clamped down gently and swirled my own tongue—enhanced by the [Magic Tongue] skill—against hers.
[Skill Activated: Magic Tongue (Lalolo Technique)]
Anko's eyes widened. She gasped, a muffled sound escaping her throat. Her knees buckled slightly. The sensation was electric, hitting nerves she didn't know she had.
She yanked her head back, stumbling away, her face flushing a deep, furious red.
"W-What the hell?!" Anko shouted, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked genuinely rattled. "What is wrong with you?!"
"You started it, Mistress," I winked, licking my lips. "Tastes like Mitarashi Dango. Sweet."
"W-Who are you calling Mistress?!" Anko stammered, flustered for the first time in years. "You... you little pervert!"
She coughed, trying to regain her composure, but her face was still burning.
"You still have to survive the Forest! Meet me at Training Ground 44 in 30 minutes! Anyone late gets eaten!"
She jumped out the window.
"Bye, Anko-chan!" I waved.
I turned to my team. Sasuke looked disgusted. Sakura looked horrified. Naruto looked confused.
"She's crazy," Sakura whispered.
"She's perfect," I corrected. "Now, let's go. I need to harvest some ingredients in the forest."
"Ingredients?" Sasuke asked.
"Yes. Snake skin," I grinned. "And maybe a Scroll of Heaven."
[System Quest Updated: The Forest of Death]
[Objective: Survive 5 Days.]
[Bonus: Steal Orochimaru's Sword.]
[Bonus: Acquire Uzumaki Karin.]
"This is going to be fun."