"…Then what am I to you?"
My voice came out softer than I expected.
But it shook.
He froze.
Like I just asked the one question he had been running from.
Silence filled the space again.
I waited.
One second…
Two…
Three…
"Nothing."
My heart dropped.
I stared at him.
"…What?"
"I said… nothing," he repeated.
Cold.
Too cold.
Like everything we just said meant nothing.
I was really nothing to him?
Is this a dream?!!
Something inside me broke.
"Oh…" I laughed quietly.
So that's it.
That's who I am to him.
Nothing.
I nodded slowly, trying to hold myself together.
"Okay."
I turned around.
If I stay one more second… I might cry in front of him.
And I refuse.
I took a step
Shiballlllllllllllllllllllll Yoongi
"Stop."
His voice cracked.
I paused.
My back still facing him.
"…Don't go," he said.
My chest tightened.
What wrong with him?!
Why is he confusing me with all this feeling?!
"Why?" I asked.
"Why should I stay… if I'm nothing to you?"
Silence.
Then suddenly
His hand grabbed my wrist.
Tight.
Too tight.
"Because I'm lying!" he said.
My breath stopped.
Slowly…
I turned back.
His eyes
They weren't cold anymore.
They were shaking.
"I'm lying," he repeated, quieter this time.
"…Why?" I whispered.
He looked away.
Like he couldn't even face me.
Then
"My father."
I blinked.
What?
"He threatned me about you," Yoongi said.
My heart skipped.
"What… do you mean?"
"He said if I get close to you…"
He swallowed hard.
"…he'll destroy you."
My body went cold."He said he'll find a way to arrest you… or ruin your life," he continued.
"And I can't let that happen to you."
My lips parted.
But no words came out.
That night when I left his house
His father...
"I thought he was bluffing," Yoongi said.
"But then…"
He clenched his fist.
"I saw people. ."
My eyes widened.
"…people?"
"They've been following us," he said."Watching everything."
A chill ran down my spine.
That feeling…
That I wasn't alone sometimes…
It wasn't in my head?
"I didn't want you to get hurt," he said.
"So you decided to hurt my feelings instead?" I asked.
My voice trembled.
He didn't deny it.
"…Yes."
That answer…
hurt.
"I sent that video," he admitted.
My heart stopped.
"…What?"
The video of Yoongi and Jimin fighting
"I sent it to your phone," he said.
"I wanted you to hate me."
Tears filled my eyes.
"You… what?"
"If you hate me, you'll stay away," he said.
"And if you stay away… you'll be safe."
My chest tightened painfully.
"So everything… was fake?" I asked.
"… everything? Including feeling s"
He shook his head immediately.
"No."
His voice broke.
"That's the only thing that wasn't fake."
Silence.
My heart pounded.
"I tried," he said, almost whispering now.
"I tried to push you away…"
He looked at me again.
Eyes full of something I've never seen before.
"But I couldn't."
My breath hitched.
"I couldn't stand it," he continued.
"Seeing you hate me…"
His voice dropped.
"It hurt more than anything."
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
"…Then why didn't you just tell me?" I cried.
"Why did you make me feel like I meant nothing?!"
"Because I was scared!" he snapped ,Silence Heavy and Painful.
"I was scared that if I choose you…"
"…you'll get hurt because of me."
My heart shook.
"And I'd rather lose you…"
He paused.
His voice breaking completely
"…than destroy you."
That was it.
That was the truth.
And somehow…
It hurt even more.
Tears kept falling.
"Do you know how much that hurt me?" I whispered.
He didn't speak.
"…Thinking I was nothing to you?"
"I'm sorry," he said again.
But this time he was more sincere
Then he kissed me out of the blue