Chapter 308: The Status Report
After departing from the park, Kaito began to drift aimlessly through the
streets of the Iron Fortress Territory.
The soulfire in his sockets pulsed with a slow, heavy rhythm. He felt a
lingering irritation regarding the industrial-grade butchering of his Chess
game, but it wasn't a statistically significant variable. After all, culture was
like a virus: once released, its mutations were beyond the control of the
initial vector.
However, seeing a King used as a chariot and a Knight utilized as an airborne
assault-unit still made his jawbone ache with the urge to flip every stone table
in the radius.
He sighed, visualizing the park's citizens—cheering, spitting, and passionately
debating their "Optimized" rules. Logic error or not, they are engaged.
"Whatever. I'll have Greed establish an Official Chess Association," Kaito
muttered to himself. "We'll codify the Standard Rules into Imperial Law.
Non-compliance results in a fine."
"As for 'Park Chess'... it shall be designated as 'Recreational Deviance.' No
tournament with a purse exceeding ten copper coins will be authorized."
As he spoke, his footsteps subconsciously halted before a newly opened fish
market. It was a modest shop, featuring several gargantuan wooden vats on the
sidewalk. They were filled with vigorous, splashing carp; the air was thick with
the scent of fresh river-water and scales.
A Dwarf owner in a waterproof leather apron was currently nodding off on a
stool, his landing net swaying rhythmically to discourage a group of
neighborhood strays.
Kaito stared at the sleek, fat carp in the vats. His soulfire flickered with a
fresh wave of resentment.
Today was an "Air Force" day.
His mood was already poor. Seeing these fish thriving in a bucket while his hook
remained a lonely variable in the river made his essence feel colder than a
wraith's.
Just as he was contemplating procuring the entire inventory and dumping it into
the river to increase the "Success Probability" of his next excursion, a
high-priority Soul Link request manifested in his mind.
He accepted the transmission without delay.
"My Sovereign."
It was the lead Shadow Guard phantom stationed within Bochi's silhouette. The
Phantom's tone was reverent, yet it carried a tremor of tactical apprehension.
"Lord Bochi has encountered a unique variable in the Eldritch Realm. I deemed it
statistically necessary to report the data directly."
Kaito's soulfire pulsed with a sharp curiosity. A variable in a Tier 5 world?
What could possibly threaten a Tier 7 slime?
"Detail the anomaly."
The Shadow Guard wasted zero bandwidth. He provided a full-system summary of
Kenji's visit, the "Thousand-Eyed Star" liquidation, and the Federation's
desperate petition for an alliance. He detailed the "Tributes" offered and
Bochi's casual acceptance of the role of "Inter-Planar Envoy."
Kaito listened to the report, his soulfire burning with a silent, haunting
intensity.
"So... the humans of that coordinate wish for me to dispatch a Legion to clear
their 'infestation'?"
"Affirmative, my Lord," the Shadow Guard replied. "Lord Bochi has pledged to
transmit their request to your presence."
Kaito's logic processed at double-speed. He contemplated the geopolitical
landscape. The Evernight Transit Hub was currently nearing completion. A Tier 5
coordinate with an advanced—if slightly warped—civilization would serve as an
ideal first-tier vassal.
Furthermore, it was an untapped resource sector. The entertainment industry in
that world was far more developed than the Evernight's current "Audio Novel"
phase. The potential for collecting "Novelties"—new games, unique technologies,
and potentially... rare species of fish—was significant.
"An acceptable opportunity," Kaito murmured, his jawbone clicking.
But then, his soulfire flared with a sharp, parental irritation.
That blue brat... he's getting a bit too arrogant, isn't he?
He had stolen the Golden Carp King Kaito had spent four hours tracking, and
Kaito still hadn't finalized the disciplinary protocols for that theft. Now, the
slime was authorizing treaties and accepting petitions on his own Authority?
Acting like a High-Tier Ambassador?
Statistically unacceptable.
"He requires a calibration," Kaito decided instantly.
"Shadow Guard. Maintain your vigil. Ensure he doesn't experience terminal
failure."
"But—and this is a Priority-Zero directive—do not inform Bochi that I am aware
of the petition."
"Zero data leakage. I want to see how long it takes for that juvenile unit to
actually formulate a formal report and present it to me."
The Shadow Guard received the command and saluted in the void. "As commanded, my
Sovereign."
The link terminated.
Kaito stood before the fish shop, the soulfire in his sockets now pulsing with a
mischievous, happy rhythm. The depression from the Chess-mutation and the
fishing failure evaporated.
"Kekeke... let him wait," Kaito chuckled. "Let's see how long he tries to play
'Envoy'."
"When he finally returns, I'll replace his monthly cake-quota with high-fiber
carrots. That should correct his logic."
Kaito strode into the fish shop, his mood fully restored. Since he was happy, it
was time to share that happiness with the world. Or at least, with the fish.
"Master Dwarf! What is the price-point for these specimens?"
Kaito tapped the side of a vat with a finger-bone. The owner snapped awake,
startled. He looked up at the cloaked skeleton, blinked, and then broke into the
toothy grin of a man recognizing a high-value customer.
"Ah! Mr. Skeleton! A pleasure to see your... face again!"
The Dwarf remembered Kaito well. In all of the Iron Fortress, there was only one
Undead who purchased live fish in industrial quantities.
"The usual batch, sir?" the Dwarf asked, already reaching for his net.
"Negative," Kaito's skull gave a slow shake. "The parameters have changed."
Kaito pointed a bony hand toward the largest, fattest, and most remarkably
sluggish carp in the vat. The fish was currently bumping its head against the
wood with a repetitive, mindless rhythm. It looked statistically deficient in
intelligence.
"That one. And every other one in the vat that looks... cognitively challenged.
I shall take the entire inventory of 'Stupid Fish'."
"Furthermore, do you possess any specimens of excessive volume? Or perhaps a
biological anomaly in the stock?"
"I am prepared to offer a 200% premium for any fish that is uniquely ugly."
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