"It's me! Your favorite Dragon dorm president."
A second, gloomy girl who was barely visible behind her rolled her eyes. "The only one…"
"Genevieve Uricchio!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
"Oouhh! It's Genevieveeee, the supreme sexy babe of the Dragon dorm!"
"You idiot! Don't say stuff like that when she can hear us. She'll think we're a bunch of creeps."
"I don't mind if you're a bunch of creeps!~"
"Ooooouuuhhhh!! That's our dorm president for you!"
"Genevieve give me your unwashed panties!"
"Too far you idiot!!!!"
She blew them a kiss. "If you win the spring cup for us, I just might."
"Ooooooooouuuuhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
A head poked out from between the legs of the rowdy football team, it was Dave army crawling his way out of the jungle of brutes, only to be hoisted up by Bing Feng and nearly thrown at the dorm president.
"President Genevieve Uricchio! The sun shines upon the Dragon dorm once more! By Dave's foot have we found salvation and the courage to rise against the rotten Snake whose head he will stomp into the ground where it belongs! Dave, our dorm's star scholar, is now also the captain of our football team!"
"Uwaaah, so that's junior brother Dave. He's really been making a name for himself but we never actually met before–"
"What!? How could this be! Dave!" Bing Feng grabbed Dave by the shoulders and shook him, "Daaaavveee! How you could not have introduced yourself to our beloved dorm president! Ah! You must have been so caught up in your studies that it slipped your mind. Forgive me for attributing to malice what could adequately be explained by your immortal work ethic!" Bing Feng fell to his knees while Dave's head was spinning from being stirred and shaken like a cocktail.
"C-calm down Bing Feng, there's no reason to be upset with junior brother Dave. There's no rule or expectation that he should have introduced himself to me. I have been busy with administrative work and my own cultivation, so it's not like I have the time to meet with every new student that joins our dorm."
"Gah! So that's how it is. I was afraid he had deeply offended our beloved president. I remember dressing in my finest silks and polishing my head with extra care when I made the pilgrimage to pay my respects to you on my first day!"
"Yes you did. And it was really weird."
The temporary concussion subsided enough for Dave to stammer out a greeting. "U-urgh… C-captain Dave, Dave Archer. A pleasure to meet you, milady."
She giggled. "A scholar, and a gentleman? Oh, and the captain of the football team after having joined our dorm only weeks ago. How superb."
Off to the side the rest of the football team roared: "It's coming home!" and upon hearing that even Bing Feng couldn't contain himself, "it's coming home!" he roared, throwing himself back amongst them.
"Oh my. I can't remember the last time I saw them so fired up." She gazed at the stampeding horde of football players rampaging around the field, fighting over who would get her unwashed panties after they had won under new command of the great captain Dave. The brazen perversion blended with patriotic praise for their captain thundering out was truly a spectacle to behold, yet she smiled like a mother watching her children play.
For some reason I actually kinda want to join them too now. I feel like a soldier hearing the call to arms. My brothers, I… No! I can't let myself get dragged down with them. How the hell did I become the captain of the football team? I want to tear Bing Feng a new hole for getting me into this mess…
Genevieve truly was a supreme beauty. She was fair as snow, with long golden hair cascading down her back, each strand glowing with all the glory of the sun. She moved with the fluid grace of silk and her eyes, blue as glacier ice, met Dave's, making his heart skip a beat.
The only thing I can do now is try to look good in front of the madam president. Throw those cunts under the bus while I'm at it heh.
"Dear god… Those guys are rabid animals. As their captain I'm not even gonna try to make excuses for them. I'll have them whip each other in the showers after practice."
"Hihi, It's fine. I'm just happy to see their spirits lifted up. I know how much the football cup means to them, and so many others in our dorm. After losing so many years in a row to the Snake dorm and especially that unscrupulous bastard Georges de La Tremoille, it has really hurt their pride, you know. I don't know if you heard, but dragons are very prideful."
"I don't think I have."
I didn't even know about the dorms until yesterday...
"Well we are. So if I saw them all fired up like this and then began reprimanding and lecturing them, making them feel bad again… I don't think that's something a good president would do."
"Are you really giving them your unwashed panties if we win?"
"Uuh? Don't tell me you're vying for my panties too?~"
"W-what? Of course not. I'm not a dirty pervert like those other hooligans. Dave Archer is a supreme gentleman through and through. If you gave me your dirty panties I would wash them, not sniff them. Well I would have to inspect the stains first but–"
The gloomy girl who had been hiding behind Genevieve peeked out, adjusting her glasses with her middle finger. "Please stop talking about the president's panties…"
Genevieve simply smiled at her. "Should we talk about your panties instead?" she asked.
"Eh!?" she squeaked.
Before the intellectual conversation could get any further, Georges de La Tremoille, the Snake dorm's football team, and a man who looked like he could have been Georges' dad approached the field. Lightning struck somewhere in the distance, foreshadowing the literal storm to come. The Dragon dorm's football team stopped their celebration dead in their tracks and lined up behind Dave like soldiers waiting for the battle to begin.
Surprisingly Georges wasn't the one to speak. The middle aged man who looked like his dad addressed Genevieve.
"What are these rejects doing here? This team is finished. They're a bunch of perverted maniacs, their captain Dong Yao couldn't lead a horse to water and there's something wrong with Bing Feng's very soul. The Dragon dorm is nothing but a bunch of losers and they're getting in the way of my snakes."
"Elder Warwick. What seems to be the problem?" Genevieve greeted him politely.
"Captain Dave, did you forget to reserve the field for practice today?" Dong Yao asked.
"Reserved it? Why the hell are you asking me? Didn't you guys make me captain like ten minutes ago without even telling me?"
"Did you or didn't you!" Dong Yao pressed him.
"Grrrhh… Shut up you bitch! Who was the captain before me!? That's who you should be asking."
Dong Yao flinched. "Uhhh… uhhh… I forgot."
Another player raised an eyebrow and answered for him. "What do you mean you forgot? Dong Yao, you were the captain for seven years. And by the way, Elder Warwick even called you our captain when he was insulting you just now."
"Huh, not sure how I missed that." Dave scratched his head.
"Morons! You're wasting our time! Take your insignificant arguments somewhere else. I arranged with the other coaches for the Snakes to practice on the field today."
Genevieve apologized politely. "Forgive us, Elder Warwick, it seems like an administrative error must have been made. As you remember, their coach Wang Tu passed away due to old age last year, and they are still looking for someone to fill his role. We'll clear the field right away."
Georges said nothing, his smirk of perceived supremacy said it all for him, making Bing Feng so angry he actually fainted on the spot. Carrying Bing Feng the team left sniffling with tears in their eyes. Hearing Wang Tu's name seemed to have stirred their emotions.