Solar shares his experience, speaking of parental expectations.
Solar: Speaking of parental expectations,
I'd like to introduce you Mr Obligation,
the one who survived through heavy family's obligation.
Lunar: Tell me about Mr Obligation, please.
Solar: Mr Obligation in his whole life has been struggling with family's obligation.
When he was asked what are you gonna do with your precious and wild one life?
He said painter, but his parents said pilot.
He showed them two drawings of boa constrictors from the outside and the inside.
Their response, was to advise him to lay aside his drawings of boa constrictors whether from the outside or the inside,
and devote himself instead to geography, history, arithmetic and grammar.
That is why, at the age of six, he gave up what might have been a magnificent career as a painter.
Lunar: What might have been different, if he didn't give up drawing in the age of six?
Solar: There would be one less excellent pilot, yet one more penniless painter.
Better pilot than painter.
There's not a single poor guy on the street who went broke wasn't artist.
Lunar: How much does it take to become a successful pilot?
Solar: It takes years of studying geography, history, arithmetic and grammar.
It is true that geography has been useful. At a glance, he can distinguish China from Arizona. If he got lost in the night, such knowledge is valuable.
Lunar: When he had grown older, what was his answer to the same question?
Solar: He said writer, but his parents said journalist.
He showed them two articles of romance stories invented out of his mind.
Their response, this time, was to advise him to lay his articles aside whether it's invented out of his mind or not,
and devote himself instead to writing journals that can get paid.
This is why, at the age of twelve, he gave up what might have been a magnificent career as a writer.
Lunar: What might have been different, if he didn't give up writing at the age of twelve?
Solar: There would be one less carefree journalist, yet one more struggling writer.
Better journalist than writer.
At least journalists are paid to report news, while the majority of writers are not paid to write what stories invented out of their minds.
As a pilot, he has traveled many places all over the world.
As a journalist, he has written many journals about his journey.
Lunar: How much does it take to become a successful journalist?
Solar: It takes years of reading a lot of books, learning a lot of writing skills and writing a lot of articles.
It is true that reading a lot of books is useful. At a glance at top lines, he can distinguish eye-catching journals from latest news.
If he delivered journals to a touring magazine, such writing experience is valuable.
Lunar: Tell me what is his parental expectation?
Solar: His parental expectation is not for him whether to be a pilot or a journalist, it is for him to have a better paying job in the future.
Better pilot than painter.
There's not a single poor guy on the street who went broke wasn't an artist.
Better journalist than writer.
The majority of writers are even poorer than poor artists.
Lunar: His parental expectation was higher than his, wasn't it?
Solar: Yes.
High parental expectations can cause many consequences:
chronic anxiety and stress, eroded self-esteem, fear of failure and paralysis, identity confusion, strained parent-child relationship, and mental health struggles.
Lunar: How can he deal with such consequences?
Solar: We have many solutions to deal with such consequences.
Open a dialogue at the calm time, it helps his parents understand how does he feel.
Share his feelings and goals, it helps them see him as an individual.
Seek external support, it helps him navigate family conversations.
Set mental boundaries, it helps him protect his mental space.
Find his own "why", it helps him reflect what does he truly want.
Practise self-comparison, it reminds him of his value is never defined by what he has achieved, only defined by who he is.
Lunar: He did open a dialogue at the calm time, didn't he?
Solar: Yes.
He had opened a dialogue at the calm time twice.
The first time, he showed his parents two drawings of boa constrictors from the inside and from the outside, telling them he feels a great passion for painting.
Their response, was to advise him to lay aside his drawings of boa constrictors whether from the inside or from the outside,
and devote himself instead to geography, history, arithmetic and grammar.
The next time, he showed his parents two articles of romance stories invented out of his mind, telling them he feels a firing ambition of being a recognized writer.
Their response, this time, was to advise him to lay his articles aside whether it's invented out of his mind or not,
and devote himself instead to writing journals that can get paid.
Lunar: He did seek external support, didn't he.
Solar: Yes.
He showed his drawings of boa constrictors from the inside and from the outside to his teacher, and heard his teacher tell him what was told.
He showed his articles of romance stories invented out of his mind to his lecture teacher, and heard his teacher tell him what was told.
Lunar: Tell me Mr Obligation's essay about parental expectations, please.
Solar: My burden was carrying my parents' dreams.
When I was asked what are gonna you do with your precious and wild one life?
At age of six, I said painter, but my parents said pilot.
I showed them two drawings of boa constrictors from the inside and from the outside.
Their response, was to advise me to lay the drawings of boa constrictors aside, whether from the inside or from the outside,
and devote myself instead to geography, history, arithmetic, and grammar.
When I was asked again at age of twelve.
I said writer, but my parents said journalist.
I showed them two articles of romance stories invented out of my mind.
Their response, this time, was to advise me to lay my articles aside, whether it's invented out of my mind or not,
and devote myself instead to writing journals that can get paid.
My parental expectations have guided me to walk the right the path.
But once in a while I would wonder what might have been different?
If I walked the path not taken. Mr Obligation.