Shinji Hirako often wondered that if he had trusted Sakanade's judgment more back then and found any excuse to kill Sōsuke Aizen, perhaps none of what followed would have happened.
The residents of Rukongai would not have died. Shinigami would not have perished in experiments. The Visored would not have been forced to leave Soul Society. Muten Natsu would not have been imprisoned. And Momo Hinamori, standing before him now...
"Please don't say that..." Momo Hinamori's eyes brimmed with tears. "I'm still grateful that I was able to meet Captain Aizen."
Her lips struggled into a smile, and the tears slipped down beyond her control. Her voice trembled. With Shinji Hirako's gentle guidance, the words she had never been able to say finally poured out.
"When I graduated from the Shin'ō Academy and joined the 5th Division, the Division I had always dreamed of, I was so happy. Before I became Lieutenant, Captain Aizen was always the person I looked up to. I kept every piece of advice he gave me close to my heart." Momo Hinamori clutched the fabric over her chest until her fingertips turned white. "I never thought... something like that would happen so suddenly. I... really don't know... what I'm supposed to do from now on."
Trust was like thin ice over a lake.
When people first stepped onto the ice, they were always careful, ready to retreat at any moment.
But as they continued forward, the firm response beneath their feet gradually eased their initial fears.
They could stride across the ice without wasting time on doubt, worry, caution, probing, and all those other small, hesitant motions, devoting more of their energy to moving forward.
Betrayal was a hole that suddenly opened in that ice.
The moment someone fell through, what lay beneath their feet was no longer the solid surface from before, but a freezing abyss.
They would be afraid. They would panic. They would struggle with all their strength, desperately reaching for the ice, only to watch it collapse before their eyes.
A person could admire the ice breaking apart from the riverbank, but it was hard to find a direction to go while trapped in the freezing water.
The ice they had just crossed was gone. The ice they had planned to walk across was collapsing too.
All that remained around them was cold water.
"That person betrayed Soul Society... betrayed me and everyone else... My head understands that, but my heart can't keep up with it." Momo Hinamori sobbed painfully. "I want to be a proper Lieutenant of the 5th Division. I want to forget everything about him. But the more I try, the more it hurts."
Shinji Hirako lowered his brows. He understood that pain all too well, knowing what he should be able to do, yet never quite managing to do it.
"But... everyone told me," Momo Hinamori said, wiping her tears in a fluster, "that it was okay even if I couldn't forget."
The first person to comfort Momo Hinamori had been Rangiku Matsumoto. It was not the first time Gin Ichimaru had left without a word, so she had plenty of experience with this sort of thing. ["I'll never forgive Aizen for what he did. Not now, not for the rest of my life... But, Hinamori, I do have good memories with that person, and I don't plan to throw them away. Even if all of it was an act to trick us into trusting him, that doesn't change that."]
Nanao Ise had spoken of something from even earlier. ["When I was still at the Shin'ō Academy, I wanted to learn the Kidō training method from Aizen, who had been invited there as a special lecturer. That method was extremely effective, and I still use it even now. It isn't just me, either. That method is recorded in Kidō textbooks today, and it hasn't been banned simply because Aizen was the one who proposed it... Do you understand what I mean?"]
Momo Hinamori lifted her face. "Even if that person did terrible things, it doesn't mean our trust in a senior was wrong, or that using what he taught us was wrong. Even if everything he showed us was fake, everything we experienced and all the effort we gave were sincere. The happiness that welled up in our hearts wasn't fake."
"You've got some really good friends..." Shinji Hirako scratched his head. "I spent a long time around Aizen too. If I said there were never any amusing moments, I'd be lying."
Shinji Hirako patted his thigh. "Ah... honestly. I came here planning to listen to you talk things out and then help you pull yourself together, but you were already fine. I even ended up being comforted by you."
Momo Hinamori brushed away her tears with her fingertips, revealing a smile as fragile as thin ice. "I'm sorry..."
"In that case, I'll head back to the squad and wait for you."
"About that..." Momo Hinamori anxiously clasped her hands over her lap. "Can I... really go back?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Everyone from the 5th Division comes to visit me every day. They tell me not to worry about the squad and to rest a little longer..." Momo Hinamori twisted her fingers together. "I know they only say that because they care about me, but when I think about it carefully, maybe the squad really doesn't need me anymore..."
"You idiot! What nonsense are you thinking? [We'll keep your place for you, so please don't worry]. That's obviously what they mean." Shinji Hirako snorted. "You won't find another person in the Gotei 13 known as the Tiger of Paperwork."
The tears in Momo Hinamori's eyes, which had only just stopped, welled up again.
"All right." Shinji Hirako waved a hand. "Like I just said, I'll be waiting for you in the squad, Momo."
"Okay." Momo Hinamori nodded firmly. "Captain Hirako."
After stepping out of the hospital room, Shinji Hirako glanced toward the corner of the hallway, adjusted his blond hair, and left.
Tōshirō Hitsugaya came out from around the corner. He looked at the door to the ward, then silently turned to leave.
"Are you really okay with this?" Rangiku Matsumoto's voice sounded.
"Aizen being imprisoned doesn't mean everything is over." Tōshirō Hitsugaya stopped. "I still need to improve further."
"I know that." Rangiku Matsumoto's gaze grew distant. "But I also know that if there are things you don't say when you have the chance, you may never get another one."
The young captain stood still for a long while before turning his steps in another direction and pushing open the door to the ward.
What greeted him was Momo Hinamori's gentle smile. "Shiro-chan!"
...
"The members of the Visored are willing to return to Soul Society as captains..." Retsu Unohana toyed with the stray strands of Muten Natsu's hair. "I didn't expect you to help make that happen."
Even Muten Natsu was a little surprised by how smoothly things had gone. He had not expected the opposition to be suppressed the moment he brought it up.
It gave him a much clearer sense of the influence he now held.
"I was planning to ask you about it," Muten Natsu said, narrowing his eyes in relaxation as he felt the warmth of Retsu Unohana's fingertips. "But Orihime told me the members of the Visored had that intention too, so I thought I'd try putting in some effort myself. I didn't want to trouble you with it."
Retsu Unohana's fingertips traced from Muten Natsu's forehead to the space between his brows, gently pressing to smooth away the crease there. "Are you starting to want to get involved in Soul Society's affairs?"
Muten Natsu had only just begun to frown when Retsu Unohana lightly flicked the tip of his nose. He opened his eyes somewhat innocently. "I... used to think it was enough for me to exist as a Guardian. For things I wasn't familiar with or didn't understand, I thought it was better not to get too involved. But I'm not that child anymore. With my current strength, not taking a stance is a stance in itself. So I can't stay silent, and I can't stand aside. I need to express my position more directly."
Retsu Unohana's fingertip slid along the bridge of Muten Natsu's nose, rubbing the spot she had just flicked. "Is that the only reason?"
"I..." Muten Natsu lowered his head and buried his face in the crook of Retsu Unohana's neck. From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed the crimson scar at the center of her collarbone. "I don't want what happened before to happen again."
Before the battle at Karakura Town, there had been no direct evidence, but Muten Natsu could still guess a little about Retsu Unohana from the way Shunsui Kyōraku and Jūshirō Ukitake treated her.
Retsu Unohana had served as a Captain for far longer than Shunsui Kyōraku and Jūshirō Ukitake.
The exalted status of nobles was common sense in Seireitei, yet even Byakuya Kuchiki, the head of the Kuchiki Clan, one of the Four Noble Families, addressed Retsu Unohana as a senior.
All those clues had meant that Muten Natsu had never worried about Retsu Unohana's safety the way he worried about Rukia Kuchiki and Orihime Inoue.
That was why he had been able to stay in the World of the Living so calmly before, paying no attention to the Central 46 Division's movements.
But the battle at Karakura Town had shattered that understanding.
If the Central 46 Division did not change for the better, then there would probably be more people like Sōsuke Aizen, bringing even more terrifying danger.
That was why Muten Natsu had to act. Instead of waiting for the Central 46 Division to change, he had to push that change forward.
"Mmm." Muten Natsu's breath tickled Retsu Unohana's neck. "You say you're not a child, but aren't you still being clingy?"
"I'm not being clingy." Muten Natsu lifted his head in protest, but he could not withstand Retsu Unohana's smiling gaze and guiltily looked away.
"All right, all right." Retsu Unohana pulled Muten Natsu back into her arms and gently stroked his hair. "If you say you're not, then you're not."
Muten Natsu still wanted to insist, but he was caught in Retsu Unohana's warm, soft embrace and could only weakly declare, "My current state is only temporary. I'll return to my previous appearance soon."
"You'll return soon, hmm..." Retsu Unohana's eyes shifted slightly. "Mm-hmm. You really aren't a child anymore. You even kissed Rukia before."
"That was an accident..." Muten Natsu could not help recalling the slightly cool pudding, and that warmth that made it so easy to sink into.
"That isn't something an adult should say." Retsu Unohana cupped Muten Natsu's small face. "A first kiss is very important. Even if it was an accident, you have to treat it seriously. Or rather, precisely because it was an accident, you need to respond even more sincerely. Losing something important by accident is already pitiful enough. If it were carelessly ignored as if nothing had happened, wouldn't that be even more pitiful?"
"...That's true." Muten Natsu had, of course, thought about what Retsu Unohana was saying. "But these past few days, Rukia seems to be avoiding my eyes. I don't know what she's thinking, and I don't know what I should do..."
"Isn't that simple?" Retsu Unohana blinked. "She kissed you, so you just kiss her back."
"Kiss..." Muten Natsu's face turned red at once. "I... I mean, that's true... but..."
When Rukia Kuchiki kissed him before, it had been their promise before the decisive battle.
There had not been enough time to savor it, and no room to feel shy.
Now that the dust had settled, what reason could Muten Natsu use to bring it up?
You kissed me before, so now I'm returning it?
That felt a little wrong.
I fulfilled our promise, so let's celebrate with a kiss?
That was wrong too.
Muten Natsu could already picture Rukia Kuchiki blushing furiously and loudly refusing him.
Retsu Unohana guessed what Muten Natsu was thinking. "You don't know how to bring it up?"
"Mm..."
"Actually, you don't need to say it out loud." Retsu Unohana looked at Muten Natsu's face, so close to hers. "You only need to look into each other's eyes for a while, and you'll understand each other's feelings."
"Look into each other's eyes?"
"Like this." Retsu Unohana's gentle gaze rested on Muten Natsu. "You don't need to say anything. Just look into the other person's eyes."
Muten Natsu was a little doubtful. "Really?"
"Of course." Retsu Unohana remembered it very clearly. That was exactly how the stories in Seireitei Communication described it.
Muten Natsu did not feel anything in particular. "Just look like this?"
"Shh." Retsu Unohana's soft, pale fingertip gently pressed against Muten Natsu's lips. "Don't talk."
Her finger moved away, and Retsu Unohana quietly gazed at Muten Natsu, watching her own reflection in his eyes.
For a moment, the air was so still that they could hear each other breathing.
Muten Natsu looked into Retsu Unohana's gentle eyes and could not help remembering the embrace in the pool of blood, and the sacrifice she had offered without reserve, hidden beneath killing intent.
That cold gaze, as if she were looking at trash, surfaced in his memory, then was dispelled by a gentle lullaby. Compared to her feigned coldness and madness, what filled Muten Natsu's memories far more was Retsu Unohana's meticulous care and gentle tolerance.
It was the company she kept through countless nights, the patient guidance she gave again and again, the embraces that held back the illusions, and the soft touches that erased his unease...
Muten Natsu remembered their first meeting, when Retsu Unohana had whispered gently by his ear as he fell into madness.
["What a willful child."]
["Go do what you want to do."]
That look in her eyes... was a little too unfair.
Retsu Unohana could not help recalling their first meeting as well. Muten Natsu's madness as he abandoned everything, and the fragility he showed when he woke after she brought him back to Seireitei.
His thin little body. His vacant eyes.
He had been like a puppet with its strings cut, staring at her with red, swollen eyes that looked ready to cry, his gaze full of collapse and confusion.
Now he still looked the way he had back then, but he had a clear understanding of what he should do and what he wanted to do. He was working toward it, and had already achieved some results.
And at this moment, he was still looking at her, his eyes filled with dependence and tenderness.
***
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