"It's just like swinging a sword. The direction of the swing has to align with the blade's edge. Only then can you bring out the full power of the strike." Retsu Unohana held one hand upright and mimed a sword swing. "The edge of the blade is your heart, while the motion of the swing is your effort. Only when both point in the same direction can you bring out the full extent of your strength."
Rukia Kuchiki looked down at her hands. "My... heart? But I clearly want to become stronger. So why am I still improving so slowly?"
"Let's try this." Retsu Unohana set down her teacup and moved behind Rukia Kuchiki. "Swing your sword."
Rukia Kuchiki didn't understand what she was getting at, but followed her instructions anyway, drawing her Zanpakutō and swinging it. "Like this?"
"Mm. Slower. Yes, just like that... Stop!" Retsu Unohana raised a hand and lightly tapped her. "When you cut, use the shoulder as the pivot. Extend your arm as far as you comfortably and naturally can to maximize the radius of the swing, then use the muscles of your back to drive the blade."
Retsu Unohana's fingertip pressed gently against Rukia Kuchiki's shoulder, traced down her back and paused briefly, then moved to her elbow. "Your wrist and elbow shouldn't rotate during the cut. Keep the last two fingers of both hands firmly around the hilt to prevent it from rolling."
As she explained, Retsu Unohana guided Rukia Kuchiki through the motions. "Use the larger muscle groups to swing the sword, while the smaller muscles control and maintain the angle and direction of the blade. That prevents the cutting edge from drifting off course."
Rukia Kuchiki already had a foundation in Zanjutsu, so she quickly understood Retsu Unohana's instruction and executed a smooth slash.
"Very good." Retsu Unohana stepped back to put some distance between them. "Now remember everything I just taught you. Go over it repeatedly in your mind, focus on controlling every muscle, and swing again."
Rukia Kuchiki took a deep breath and brought her sword down.
"...Huh?"
Retsu Unohana asked, "How did that feel?"
"It felt..." Rukia Kuchiki frowned, sounding confused. "It felt like I suddenly forgot how to swing a sword."
It was such a basic movement, and Retsu Unohana had even given her expert guidance. So why had her execution become noticeably worse?
"Rukia..."
Hearing Retsu Unohana call her name, Rukia Kuchiki turned around. "Captain!"
A black-and-red blade came rushing straight at her.
There was no time to think. Rukia Kuchiki instinctively raised her Zanpakutō to block.
Steel flashed for an instant. The strange blade shattered into black and red smoke, then flowed back into the Ink Ring on Retsu Unohana's hand.
Retsu Unohana nodded. "That strike was acceptable."
Rukia Kuchiki had noticed the enormous difference between the two swings herself. "Why... did that happen?"
"Swinging a sword is a complicated action. You have to control the contraction of many muscles. You also need to control your breathing, adjust your mental state, judge your opponent's movements..." Retsu Unohana explained calmly. "There are many things you need to do, but only one thing you need to think about. Swinging the sword. If you think about too much, it won't help you. It will only get in your way."
Rukia Kuchiki stared at the Zanpakutō in her hand and gradually understood what Retsu Unohana meant.
Her grades in Zanjutsu might only have been average, but she had still trained seriously for quite some time and survived many dangerous battles. There was no way she had forgotten something as basic as how to swing a sword.
The reason that previous strike had fallen below her usual standard was simply because she had been thinking too much.
In truth, many things didn't need to be consciously analyzed. Paying too much attention to them could instead become a burden.
When people walked, they didn't think about how each muscle should move. They simply walked.
If they deliberately tried to control every individual muscle, they might end up unable to walk properly at all.
"What you need to figure out is whether becoming stronger is your goal, or merely one step toward achieving some other goal," Retsu Unohana said. "If it's the former, then as long as you keep working hard, you'll continue to improve. But if it's the latter, becoming too fixated on getting stronger will not only keep you from achieving what you truly want, it will also make it difficult for your strength to break through."
"My true goal..." Rukia Kuchiki murmured. "So I should be working toward what I truly want..."
Retsu Unohana reminded her, "Actually, the person who handles this best is right beside you."
"Beside me... Muten?"
"That's right. On the surface, he looks lazy most of the time. In reality, he's constantly working to prepare for changes that haven't even happened yet." Retsu Unohana picked up her teacup again. "When a problem first appears, he usually seems rather slow to react. But once the problem needs to be solved, he can deal with it in one decisive burst."
Rukia Kuchiki nodded in agreement. "Just like his sword-drawing technique. Nothing happens for a long time, then suddenly, one startling strike."
"The principle is indeed very similar to sword-drawing techniques. They require long practice to turn the act of drawing and striking into instinct. When facing an enemy, you gather your strength and defeat them with a single blow." Retsu Unohana continued her explanation. "He approaches problems the same way. He keeps training so that he'll have the ability to solve them when the time comes. When he encounters a problem, he first observes calmly, then accumulates what he needs before resolving it once and for all. Once he has decided on a goal, every action he takes serves that final strike, and every effort he makes is aimed at solving the problem at its root."
"Then..." Rukia Kuchiki looked at the Zanpakutō in her hand. "What kind of strike do I want to make? What problem are all my efforts meant to solve?"
"That answer is something you need to find for yourself," Retsu Unohana told her. "Even if I gave you an answer, it would only be my answer."
Rukia Kuchiki pursed her lips and sheathed her Zanpakutō.
"Orihime... likes Muten."
Retsu Unohana lowered her eyes slightly. "That much is rather obvious."
Rukia Kuchiki didn't notice the subtle change in her expression. "She wants me to like Muten together with her..."
"Hmm?" Retsu Unohana looked up. "She told you that?"
"She doesn't really understand these things very well." Rukia Kuchiki smiled. "She even said she wanted you to join us too."
The teacup in Retsu Unohana's hand wobbled slightly.
"I see... And what do you think?"
"I... I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I don't know what's wrong with me..." Rukia Kuchiki lightly bit her lower lip. "If I like Muten, then why didn't I feel angry at all when I found out he was being intimate with Orihime? But if I don't like him, why do I keep thinking about him? I want to become stronger, strong enough to help him the way he helped me, but at the same time, I keep trying to move away from him and maintain some distance."
Rukia Kuchiki looked at Retsu Unohana as though asking for help.
"Captain... what's wrong with me?"
Retsu Unohana carefully controlled the strength in her fingers so she wouldn't crush the teacup.
Rukia Kuchiki was still agonizing over such an innocent question, while she herself had already taken Muten Natsu... again and again... and had even used Kaidō to help him recover...
Retsu Unohana set the teacup down, opened her arms, and pulled Rukia Kuchiki into an embrace. It conveniently let her avoid Rukia's gaze so the girl wouldn't see her current expression.
"That's what liking someone is like. It's such a complicated feeling, like a hand that reaches out, almost touches, then pulls back..."
And a hand that, once it touched, could no longer stop.
Surrounded by the warmth of Retsu Unohana's embrace, Rukia Kuchiki's tangled emotions gradually settled.
"I'm glad you're here... Otherwise, I wouldn't even know who I could say these things to."
Glad I'm here...?
Is it really a good thing that I'm here?
Retsu Unohana gently stroked Rukia Kuchiki's head. "Rukia, you actually rely on Muten a great deal, but at the same time, you don't want to rely on him too much. Isn't that right?"
Rukia Kuchiki answered quietly, "...Mm."
That somewhat contradictory state of mind came from her past.
Because of her older sister's condition, while Rukia Kuchiki remained with her, all of Rukia's Reiryoku had gone toward sustaining her sister's life. As a result, her own body had never grown.
When Muten Natsu first found Rukia Kuchiki, she had still been a swaddled infant.
Only after being separated from her older sister had Rukia Kuchiki begun growing at a rate far beyond that of an ordinary person.
It could be said that Muten Natsu had raised Rukia Kuchiki, so it was only natural that she had come to depend on him.
If everything that followed had never happened, Rukia Kuchiki probably wouldn't have developed this conflicted mindset.
But the appearance of the Hollows shattered their peaceful life.
Rukia Kuchiki had watched with her own eyes as Muten Natsu burned himself up to protect her, desperately fighting until he defeated the enemy.
After seeing how powerful Muten Natsu was, Rukia Kuchiki became even more dependent on him.
And at the same time, she became afraid to depend on him.
If she relied on Muten Natsu for everything, then he would have to burn away his own life like that again.
Rukia Kuchiki never wanted to see him like that again.
"So... I want to become stronger. At the very least..." Rukia Kuchiki finally poured out everything she had buried deep inside. Since Retsu Unohana had already guessed the truth, there was no longer any reason to hide it. "I don't want to stand there watching Muten fight desperately all by himself ever again. I don't want to be a burden to him. I don't want him risking his life for me, and I don't want him hurting himself just to protect me."
That was why Rukia Kuchiki depended on Muten Natsu, yet was afraid to depend on him.
That was why she wanted to be with him, yet was also afraid to be with him.
Knowing that Muten Natsu was willing to risk his life for her made her happy.
But when he actually did risk his life for her, it hurt her deeply.
Those conflicting feelings had shaped Rukia Kuchiki's distinctive personality.
Emotionally, she depended on Muten Natsu, yet in her actions, she continually tried to become more independent.
When Muten Natsu was lost, she could firmly point him in the right direction.
But whenever the matter involved Muten Natsu himself, she became confused and helpless.
Her seemingly contradictory actions and complicated emotions all came down to one very simple thing.
She liked him.
"Muten Natsu once asked me why I treated him so well." Retsu Unohana brought up a conversation from when Muten Natsu had first returned to Soul Society. "I didn't answer him. Instead, I asked why he treated you so well."
Rukia Kuchiki raised her face. "What... did he say?"
"He said... when he first arrived in Soul Society, he didn't know where he had come from, where he was going, or what he was supposed to do. And since there was nothing in Inuzuri, he had no family and no friends. He had originally planned to die." Retsu Unohana repeated Muten Natsu's words. "That was when he heard a baby crying. He thought that since he was going to die anyway, he might as well do something meaningful before he did, so that his death would mean something too."
Rukia Kuchiki's eyes shimmered. "That baby... was me?"
Retsu Unohana gently patted Rukia Kuchiki in her arms, speaking softly as though soothing a child to sleep.
"He said... at first, he planned to raise you until you were a little older, then die. Later, he decided he should wait until you were capable of living independently. By the time he realized it, he no longer wanted to die, because he was no longer someone who had nothing."
Retsu Unohana lowered her head and looked seriously at Rukia Kuchiki's reddened eyes.
"You were never a burden to him. You were the candle flame he carefully sheltered through the night. He protected you, and you warmed him in return. He saved you, and you also pulled him back from the brink of death... again and again."
Rukia Kuchiki's watery eyes blinked.
Before the crystalline tears could fall, she buried her face in Retsu Unohana's embrace.
A faint sob quickly turned into a silent storm of tears.
Retsu Unohana gently patted Rukia Kuchiki's shoulder and simply let the girl's tears soak into her chest.
Those tears seemed to pass straight through Retsu Unohana's body and gather inside her heart, making it feel unbearably heavy.
Only after a long time did the trembling in Rukia Kuchiki's shoulders gradually subside.
She hugged Retsu Unohana tightly with lingering reluctance before pulling away from her embrace, looking somewhat embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, Captain... I got a little..."
"It's all right." Retsu Unohana wiped away the tear tracks on Rukia Kuchiki's face. "I rather like having you depend on me like this."
Rukia Kuchiki wiped her eyes and broke into a bright smile. "I finally understand why Muten likes clinging to you so much. I wish I'd realized it sooner."
"Realizing it now isn't too late... It's never too late." Retsu Unohana's gaze was gentle. "I think you've already found the right direction."
"Mm." Rukia Kuchiki nodded firmly. "I know what I should do now."
"Then what do you want to do?"
"Cook." Rukia Kuchiki's eyes sparkled. "Captain, what do you want to eat? I'll make it for you."
Retsu Unohana chuckled. "Just make whatever you want."
"I wonder when they'll be back..." Rukia Kuchiki picked up her Denreishinki. "I'll call and ask. If they're coming home soon, I'll make some extra."
"Sounds good." Retsu Unohana headed toward the kitchen with Rukia Kuchiki. "I'll help too."