"Ok, I would like to make an important announcement, I Hate This Academy!" the blond grumbled under his breath as he strolled along the path towards the Polar Star Dormitory. The depressing part was that no one was present to hear his announcement, except the many trees flanking the damn road!
Who knew he would be walking towards the other end of the world just to reach a damn building!? If it weren't for the interesting cooking experience and… the babes, he would have high tailed it out of here a long time ago.
Who the hell needed all this land for? Were they planning to make a stadium for that fancy new game which was oddly enough named after a bug, called Cricket? Why would a game be named after a bug of all things? That was just moronic!
He has been walking and walking and then walking some more for the last 30 minutes and he had yet to see a human, let alone a building. The series of buildings had ended after 15 minutes of walking, meaning he had left civilization 15 minutes ago!
While he could've flown over to the assigned dormitory within a few seconds, he had made the foolish mistake of deciding to enjoy nature for a while. He must have been drunk when he had made that choice!
He couldn't even halt his "nature strolling" in the middle, since he had made a choice in the beginning and Haru Uzumaki did not leave anything in the middle, even if it cost him his blond hide!
"The moment I get to the dormitory, I am either murdering someone, preferably the manager of the dorm for constructing a residence in the middle of freaking nowhere OR perving the shit out of the assembled babes!"
Speaking of "studying" the babes for… research material of course… he was reminded that his busty and cute purple haired princess was staying in that dorm. If he got there early, he would be able to hug his Cupcake that much sooner and ask her if she would be willing to "contribute" to his "research"!
Now that was some serious motivation!
Putting shit-eating grin on his face, Haru proceeded with a few jogging exercises, sit ups and jumps to keep the blood pumping and sprinted off into the distance like a bullet, leaving an enormous dust cloud behind.
Deep into the forest-like land, Haru sped through the trees like a bullet, giggling like a maniac as a trickle of blood dropped down his nose. "Hang on, Buttercup, daddy is coming!"
Seeing a somewhat worn down building appear in his tunnel-like vision, Haru sped up his mad dash, jumped straight over the closed gate and slammed into the front door with a booming thunder.
Honestly, being an Uzumaki, he felt pride oozing off of him when he heard the familiar sounds of people scared out of their boots when he slammed into the front door. He felt disappointed though that he heard less screams of fright than he had expected.
Still his mother would be so proud of him!
Calmly dusting his leather pants and shirt, Haru swept a hand through his hair and ruffled his front bangs with a grin, blissfully ignoring his spectators for the time being.
Standing right in front of him with their jaws dropped to the ground in shock and disbelief was a group of teenagers and an elderly silver haired woman.
Aside from the elderly woman, he had seen the other occupants of the Dorm and gathered some info about them to better prepare his introduction. He already knew his babe Ryoko and her friend, Yoshino Yuki.
The redheaded teenager who had arrogantly proclaimed that he would be taking the 1st spot was also present among along with the oddball who was fond of writing the word "man" on her hands.
Oh goodie!
Being a former Shinobi, it was in his genes to gather information about his dorm-mates, thus he knew pretty much everything there was to know about them. The nerdy looking one was known as Zenji Marui, a boy who specializes in gathering info regarding culinary techniques.
The light purple haired boy with his front bangs covering his eyes was known as Shun Ibusaki, a master of smoke cooked food.
Standing dangerously close and subtly pushing each other were two teenagers with somewhat identical facial features. The first one dressed in a light purple shirt with light blond and black sides was known as Shoji Sato. This gentleman specialized in… nothing!
The next one with an abnormal hair style and dressed in a simple white sleeveless shirt and black pants was known as Daigo Aoki, specializing in… nothing!
Next to those two teenagers was a light pink haired boy, dressed in a simple white shirt, blue pants and a pink apron. This guy was different from the rest due to a particular… position. Satoshi Isshiki.
The last but certainly not the least, was the Madonna of the Dorm, Fumio Daimido.
Putting on his most evil façade, Haru giggled like a maniac and pointed something at the group. Since the lights were out, they couldn't see what he was holding, but from its oblong structure, it awfully resembled a gun.
"Alright, this is how it's gonna go. You will separate into two group, boys and girls." Haru announced in a deep voice, putting the group on guard, except Ryoko, Soma and Fumio who were staring at him in deadpan. "The boys will put their hands in the air and drop their wallets while the girls drop their clothes and do a pole dance!"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Haru?" Soma shouted in irritation as he made out the familiar features of his unofficial rival. Even though he couldn't exactly see the blond teen, he could make out the familiar muscle mass and abnormal height, not to mention his deep voice.
"Shush, Cherry head, you are gonna get us busted!" Haru whispered lowly. "Don't ya wanna know what kind of panties they are wearing?"
The assembled group couldn't help but sweatdrop. This was his low voice? They practically heard every single word and a particularly petite, animal-loving girl was not happy about that revelation.
"What the hell are you guys looking at?" Haru demanded in an offended tone. "Fine, if you insist, the boys can forget about dropping their wallets but I ain't leaving without seeing a pole dance with my own sinful eyes!"
Still not seeing anyone move among the crowd, Haru sighed in disappointment and removed the "gun" he had been pointing at the group, which turned out to be a loaf of bread. "Tough crowd and I am getting your redheaded ass for this, cherry head! You jinxed us."
Before anyone could blink, Haru sprinted from his spot and tackled a surprised Ryoko to the ground, nuzzling their cheeks together in affection as he lay atop her shocked form. "Baby Cake, I missed you!"
"See, I told you Ryoko had a boyfriend!" Yuki chirped in with a wide grin as she watched the blond turn them over and snugly hold a blushing Ryoko to his muscular body, all the while nuzzling their cheeks and cooing like a child.
"Saw that coming, bro!" Shoji muttered in disbelief as he watched the scene. Who knew the beautiful Ryoko had gotten herself a boyfriend and didn't tell them about it? And not just any boyfriend, but the top badass of Totsuki Academy, who had become said badass in just about two days.
"No, you didn't, dude!" Daigo rebuked harshly. To be honest, no one beside Yuki say it coming. He would have denied the validity of Yuki's claim had he not seen the atomic blush on Ryoko's face.
"Sure did!"
"Didn't!"
"Ah, the spring time of youth! This is Life! This is Youth!" Isshiki gushed in joy, sparkling stars glittering around him in a blinding show of radiance.
Fumio, on the other hand, was not feeling either joy or hatred. The thing that irked her was that Haru barged into her Dorm and pulled a prank on them? Did the boy actually stop to think that she, as the Supervisor of the dorm, could deny him residence? Of course he didn't!
"Did ya miss me, sweet cheeks?" Haru asked with a pout as he lay on the ground and held a furiously blushing Ryoko tightly atop his body.
Said girl futilely struggled to free herself from the eccentric boy's grasp but to no avail. His grip was otherworldly gentle but surprisingly strong at the same time. She could every single muscle twitch and ripple under her form and naturally it was making her lightheaded in a pleasurable sort of way.
Her assets were tightly mashed against his chiseled chest as Haru held her snug, refusing to even let her move, let alone get out of his bear hug.
"Haru, t-they are watching!" she stuttered out meekly, feeling the numerous set of eyes on them. This was embarrassing! She had no idea that the blond boy would also be a potential resident of Polar Star Dormitory when they had spoken during the Opening Ceremony.
"Let them watch." Haru declared passionately and abruptly stood up, earning a surprised yelp from Ryoko as she was lifted like a weightless doll and deposited in his lap like a child, increasing the force of her atomic blush.
"Dude, look at 'em!" Daigo muttered under his breath, gaping at the scene. He never thought he would see the day when Ryoko would blush like a love sick puppy, but here he was seeing it with his own eyes.
"I feel ya, bro." Shoji agreed instantly.
"Alright people, as you can see, I am the Main Man, the Badass of the badass, the Master of the masters and the …" The residents sweatdropped when Haru adopted a thinking pose and looked at the ceiling, trying to come up with an additional title. "Actually, that's it. Now where is my room? Me and Cupcake here need to get to know each other better."
"WHAT!?"
"W-what!?" Ryoko sputtered out in mortification, eyes widened in surprise and ears releasing unrestricted puffs of steam. This was too sudden! She didn't even know the blond that much. In fact she wouldn't even call him a friend. And he was already thinking of…!
Seeing as his words were severely misunderstood, Haru patted the furiously blushing and trembling girl on her head and grinned. "Aw come on people, get your minds off the gutter, I ain't talking about the horizontal mumbo jumbo, I meant talking about likes, dislikes, dream and shit!'
The residents, except the elderly Fumio, could feel their cheeks burning in embarrassment as they were caught red-handed. It wasn't their fault the blond had said it that way. Anyone would have gotten the wrong idea, right?
Trash Talk doctor: Nope, just perverts would get that idea!
Ryoko sighed in relief. Phew, that was close! Sure, the teen was handsome and honestly she was flattered that he was showering her with such attention, but still she wouldn't just go that far with someone she had met just a few hours ago!
Seeing as the blond had caused enough disaster for one lifetime, Fumio stepped forward and crossed her hands over her torso. "Well, young man, I hope you have brought the ingredients with you?"
Seeing as the drama was over, the other occupants of the room sighed in relief and walked back into their rooms.
Haru, knowing what she was talking about, nodded in consent and stood up, lifting a still blushing Ryoko with him to his full height. Standing up, the blond released the purple haired girl onto her feet but wrapped his arm around her slender waist and held her close to his body.
"Haru, you need to pass her exam to live here, so can you please let me go now?" the docile girl specified lightly and looked away, cheeks shaded with a healthy tinge of red.
Pouting childishly, Haru leaned lightly and gazed straight into her eyes, drilling his piercing blue diamonds into her dark pink eyes. "You are gonna leave me here all alone with the granny?"
Cheeks burning like furnace, Ryoko mulled over for an answer and eventually gathered the courage to return his piercing gaze with one of her own, except a gentle and encouraging one. "I t-thought I would let you to fully c-concentrate on your exam so you can p-pass"
Eyes flaming up in childishly glee, Haru swept her up and twirled her around with a chuckle, earning a surprised yelp from the purple haired girl. "Aww my Honey Bunny is worried about lil' ol me, how cute!"
Hearing Fumio cough into her hand, Haru grunted in annoyance and set down the Mistress of Fermentation with a pout. Couldn't he get just a moment of peace around here? The old bag of bones ruined everything!
"Alright fine, granny, I will cook." Haru grumbled incoherently under his breath while Ryoko sighed in relief. Guess she would have enough time to prepare for his arrival the next time. She would not be blushing or even remotely flustered the next time she saw him. She needed to woman up!
He was just a boy, granted an otherworldly handsome and muscular boy, but a boy nonetheless!
Whatever thought of "womaning up" she had in her mind were instantly discarded into the ferocious winds of emotions when she felt a pair of thin lips connect with her cheek and a strong hand lightly slap her rear.
The elderly Supervisor of the dorm could only shake her head at the boy's antics while silently pitying the purple haired girl who seemed to have become the center of his attention. The simple act of playfully slapping her rear and pecking her on the cheek seemed to have frozen the kind purplette in place as she stared into the unknown.
"So, does anyone want to talk about a particular someone's boyfriend?" Yuki asked with a sly grin.
"H-he is not my boyfriend!" said student blurted out, cheeks tinged red from embarrassment.
The grin on Yuki's face widened even more. "We never said he was yours"
Realizing her mistake, the purplette hid her face with her hands to hide her blush. "You w-were implying it!"
The gathered group couldn't help but laugh at the blushing girl's misfortune. It was not every day you got to see the Mistress of Fermentation blush like a school girl from simply seeing her crush.
"So… does anyone think he will pass Miss Fumio's test?" Shun asked pointedly, causing Ryoko to sigh in relief and silently thank the docile boy for changing the subject. "Soma, you two gave the exam on the same day, didn't you? You should at least know something about him."
The aforementioned boy shrugged nonchalantly. "Honestly, I have no idea. The guy made an omelet during the Entrance Exam; I didn't stay to watch the results."
"Some of the students say that he and the purple haired chick named Miyoko also made Master Chapelle smile! I mean that's impressive, dude!" Daigo chirped, clearly impressed with that information. In Totsuki Academy, making Master Chapelle smile was considered the same as stopping the sun from shining, meaning outright impossible!
"Seriously!?" Shoji gaped in shock. The dude was a mere transfer student and he was already making a name for himself.
"Now that I think about it, he and a purple haired girl were paired up in our class." Soma butted in, adopting a thinking pose. "But I doubt he did anything."
"What do you mean?" Megumi asked in confusion. Sure, from his attire, he didn't look the least bit like a chef, more like a thug, but to be able to pass the entrance exam on his first try, he must have some skills in the Kitchen, right?
"The guy is a pervert at his very core; he must have been staring at the poor girl's rear all the time."
Ryoko didn't know why the idea of Haru staring at other girls' behind made her want to choke him to death but she would find out soon enough, that is if Haru actually passed Miss Fumio's exam.
Before anyone could comment on that disturbing fact, the occupants of the residence heard sounds akin to rapid footsteps echoing all over the hallway and nearing dangerously close to their general location.
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"
Everyone gaped in disbelief and shock as the door to Zenji's room was kicked violently, ripping it off of its hinges, and sent flying all the way into the window where it stuck halfway in the wall.
Following the flight path of the stuck door in reverse, the group turned towards the now door-less exit and stared at the imposing form of Haru standing in the doorway, eyes shadowed by his blond bangs and hands clenched in anger.
Everyone, except a deathly pale Zenji, subconsciously crawled away on their behinds as an aura of malice and death washed over the room, causing the occupants to freeze in midway and stare at the imposing form of their would-be-fellow resident in anticipation as Haru ominously raised his head.
"I AM BACK BABY!" Haru shouted cheerfully and tackled a stiffened Ryoko to the floor before rolling around like a cat, all the while narrating his tale of bravery and flawless victory over the evil Supervisor of the dorm while the other simply gaped like fishes out of water.
A pale Zenji could only stare absentmindedly at his destroyed door and window, his eyes focused into a lifeless stare. Why was it always his room? Why did they have to insist on using his room to party? WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST LEAVE HIM IN PEACE FOR ONCE?!
Miss Fumio would have his nerdy ass on a silver platter if she found out!
"Umm… should we be glad that another weirdo joined our weird club… or horrified that said weirdo is even weirder than us weirdoes?" Daigo asked unsurely, causing the others to snap out of their funks and give him a deadpan look.
"I can't believe you used the word 'weird' five times in a single sentence and insulted us at the same time." Shun stated in monotone, though they could detect the slightest hint of amusement in his tone.
Whether he was amused because Daigo used the word "weird" five times in row or the fact that they were insulted in the same sentence was up for debate.
Surprisingly enough, only Soma seemed to agree with their club being weird. How odd!
"Hey, one weirdo in a club full of weirdoes is not weird at all, right bro?" Shoji declared smugly, unaware of the glares being sent at him by Yuki. So what if he used "weird" three times in a sentence? Daigo had used it five times. Frankly he was feeling disappointed that he had been one upped by his rival!
Unaware of their nerdy dorm-mates, Haru continued with his own eccentric activities, snugly clutching an almost ready-to-pass out Ryoko to his chest as he nuzzled their cheeks together and giggled like a kid in a candy shop.