I woke up when I realised something was licking my face...
'Who?...Millie?'
'yes it was Millie'
'Wait! The book'
That jolted me awake. I was currently lying down on my living room floor.
'Looks like I fainted here'
When I finally stood up, my body felt like it was being weighed down by a million rocks...
'yesterdays hard work was finally kicking in...'
I walked up to the book and just stared at it
"Written by Casper"
I just stood there....just breathing.
Just Existing.
I was brought back to consciousness after my stomach started grumbling...
'I need to make breakfast'
I walked into the kitchen to see what I had left, again instant noodles...
'remind me to go grocery shopping'
I started cooking absent-mindedly, it was like my body knew what to do, I felt like a lifeless doll....
I looked at the book still on the dining table...
Memories started flowing in like water
The book was Jenny's favourite fairy tale; she had read this more than once...but she deeply sympathised with Duke Eskander...the second lead in the book.
"I wish I could comfort you...."
"I wish you were real Eskander"
'I couldn't care less about that bastard'
The water began to boil, my eyes started to water...
I felt angry....I felt outraged by these memories, I felt angered by how right now I am occupying the body of a person who wished me dead...
'So I was an unlovable person till the end...'
By now I was completely crying...down on the floor...
"All my life...I worked hard to be someone worthy of standing by your side...I thought.... I....
Was I suffocating you?"
*Hic*
"A queen is not supposed to show her emotions, A queen must be ruthless, A queen needs to learn how to put her subject in their right place, A queen... must....not we-weaver....a quee...ahhh *Hic*
What do I do?...I did as I was taught.... *Hic*
all I had was you *hic*
I...*hic* could'nt disappoint you too."
God take this pain away....
The violent boiling of the water stopped my crying...I turned the stove off, my hunger was long gone...
I walked up to the book and opened it...
read the lines carefully...
"He kissed Illiana like a starved man"
That sentence had been echoing in my mind ever since I first read it.....
My throat felt like someone was strangling me, my head was spinning...
I wish I had fainted... I wish I had died the moment I fell down the stairs!
I want this misery to end...
"I was a fool...I.. A Stupid idiot fucking fool in love!"
Now this was full-fledged brawling...with all the ugly crying...I want to hit myself for thinking like this
"How did I not see this?"
It was all in the book....every encounter Alaxander had with Illiana, he was cold, He showed no warmth...he was harsh.
"I thought if I had tried harder...."
"But I....I thought he would finally open up....it had been 8 years since we were engaged...I should've noticed..."
Reading this book felt like someone had ripped out my heart and showcased it for the whole world to see...
"Those feelings I had for Alaxander...were those even real??"
"Was my suffering enjoyable for these people?"
Once again, I was sitting down skimming through the novel. savouring every page, memorising every line...
"Here it is....my life...16 years of hell...described in a mere paragraph"
"Illiana Noctis, The Oldest daughter of Duke Noctis. The duke was a strict man, allowing no flaws. By using ruthless punishments and disciplinary techniques, he groomed Illiana into the flower of the High Society. She became the perfect candidate for the crown princess selection by the age of 11. Soon, the queen, impressed by her attitude and sharp mind, chose her as crown princess
She became engaged to Alaxnder at the age of 16.
From there on, Illiana Noctis was obsessed with Alaxander. She would travel through any lengths to attain his favour.
She would get rid of any woman who approached the crown prince with ill intentions. Either the disappered from high society or were cast aside.
Alexander had hated her the most. She was the most Vile woman he had ever seen"
I read it once...
I read it twice..
I read it again and again until the words became etched into my skull...
"I was the most vile woman he had ever seen"