"So now... I really have nothing left. Not even someone to blame. In the end, I'm the only loser here." Eiran let out a bitter laugh.
"Not necessarily. But that depends on you—can you forget her?" Saelior glanced at him from the corner of his eye before turning his gaze back toward the setting sun.
"What about you? Were you able to move on?" Instead of answering, Eiran threw the same question back at him.
Saelior seemed taken aback for a moment and fell silent for several seconds.
But Eiran waited for him—to answer the question he himself couldn't solve.
"When you can't forget someone..." When Saelior finally spoke, he paused briefly, as though something had crossed his mind. "...the only option left is distraction."
"So you..." Eiran dragged out the last word as he stared at the man's covered face, trying to catch even the slightest trace of emotion hidden within those steel-blue eyes.
"There are three ways to forget someone. The first is to move on—if you can. The second is to fall for someone else. And the third is... to experience something even more painful than what you're feeling right now."
Once again, his voice returned to its usual calmness, as though his earlier hesitation had only been an illusion.
Eiran kept his unwavering gaze fixed on him, as though silently urging him to continue.
His stare was so intense that Saelior could feel it without even looking at him.
"And I'm not talking about physical pain."
Eiran didn't know whether it was because of his emotions or something else, but he thought he sensed a trace of concern in Saelior's voice.
"There are times when emotional pain is thousands of times worse."
"Which way did you choose?"
"Choose?" He let out a soft chuckle—not warm, but faintly amused in a way that was hard to read. "You're lucky if you even can."
He didn't bother explaining further or saying anything else. And Eiran didn't think it was appropriate to probe any deeper either.
"Is it really possible to fall for someone else? Doesn't that mean your previous love wasn't deep enough?"
"I don't know. But didn't I say love isn't something definite?" Saelior replied calmly. "Can you really judge someone's love? I don't consider myself qualified enough to do that."
"But I..." Eiran hesitated. "When you love someone, don't you want to spend your whole life with them? And if you end up feeling the same way for someone else later... how can that still be called love?"
"You can't choose who you love. Love chooses you." Saelior's voice remained steady and unhurried. "Loving only one person your entire life doesn't necessarily make your love purer. And falling in love a second or third time doesn't taint it either."
"Love is already filled with the countless shades of emotion. What else is left that could taint it?"
After saying that, Saelior slowly rose to his feet.
"I think I should take my leave now."
"I'll call a cab for you. Just give him your address when he arrives."
He paused briefly before adding,
"Take care."
After saying that, he simply turned and walked away.
"But I still haven't paid you back..."
Eiran had been so absorbed in Saelior's words that he hadn't even realized he had already stood up.
Saelior stopped in his tracks and looked back.
Their eyes met.
It was the first time they had properly looked into each other's eyes.
Those hazel eyes...
If there was one thing Saelior remembered most clearly about Eiran—aside from that painting—it was his hazel eyes.
Saelior had never been particularly interested in beauty.
To him, appearances were often the most deceptive part of a person—easily admired, easily forgotten.
Yet when their eyes met, his thoughts paused for the briefest moment.
Those hazel eyes weren't flawless, nor were they particularly rare.
But perhaps because they carried too many restrained emotions beneath them—
Saelior still found them strangely beautiful.
And the most absurd part was... he didn't even realize he had thought that way.
"I don't need it right now. Just give me an extra discount in the future."
Eiran looked at him blankly, momentarily at a loss for words.
But Saelior didn't wait for a reply.
After casually throwing those words over his shoulder, Saelior simply walked away.
~
The cab driver arrived around fifteen minutes later. He was professional and efficient. When he noticed Eiran's wound, he only spared it a brief glance before helping him into the cab and asking where he wanted to go.
The driver didn't ask any unnecessary questions during the ride.
Eiran didn't want to go home, so he told him to take him to any nearby hotel.
The hotel wasn't far from there. It wasn't particularly large, but the staff were considerate and customer-friendly.
They even had wheelchairs available for injured guests and people with disabilities.
A wheelchair was far better than being carried around by someone.
So Eiran chose to use one.
Earlier, he had been in such a rush to leave home that he had forgotten to take his phone.
So before heading to his room, Eiran borrowed a phone from the hotel staff to make a call.
At first, he searched for the delivery company's contact number, but—
In the end, he chose not to call them.
This would probably be his last gift for Valerian...
Or maybe not.
After all, he might have to attend his wedding someday.
After entering the room, Eiran locked the door behind him.
He wheeled himself toward the bed, then somehow managed to stand before letting his body fall onto the mattress with a dull thud.
He was completely exhausted now.
But even then, he didn't feel like resting.
He stared at the ceiling without blinking.
Would Valerian understand the meaning behind the painting?
Probably not.
If he hadn't even realized Eiran's feelings...
There was no way he would understand the painting either.
But it didn't matter anymore.
At least, it shouldn't.
Now that he thought about it...
He had been delusional enough to believe Valerian might love him back.
In the past, he used to find people like that ridiculous—
Yet he had ended up becoming one of them himself.
Valerian probably didn't even like men in the first place. He had always been interested in women.
How pathetic—to drown himself in his own fantasies like that...
Fortunately, he had never confessed.
Otherwise, he would've only made a fool of himself.
If he had confessed...
Would Valerian have felt disgusted?
A few tears slipped from the corners of his eyes without him even noticing.
Maybe.
Or maybe they simply wouldn't have remained friends anymore.
Even now, a part of him still hoped all of this was just a dream.
He should never have fallen for him in the first place.
His feelings had been wrong from the very beginning.
The thought alone made him feel disgusted with himself.
Eiran slowly closed his eyes as those thoughts continued to flood his mind.
"You shouldn't compare your love to someone else's. That would only disrespect your own feelings."
That calm yet unsettling voice echoed through his mind once again.
"Love is incomparable."
"And you can hope for their happiness. But you don't necessarily have to pretend to be happy yourself."
The words repeated in his head, as though trying to pull him back from drowning in his own self-loathing.
I want to believe every word you said... but I'm not strong enough.
Talking to that man earlier had made him feel strangely immature.
Yet at the same time, he had wanted nothing more than to let go of everything and share his sorrow with someone—
even if it was only with a stranger.
He understood everything that guy had meant.
Yet understanding something...
And being able to accept it—
Were two entirely different things.
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