Brienne approached the king's solar with sure, steady steps. Two knights of the Kingsguard stood outside the door, guarding their sovereign with the gravity that such an important task required. Brienne acknowledged them with a shallow dip of her head as she walked past. When she finally reached the door, she knocked and waited for a reply.
"Come in." Bran's voice was soft and calm as it carried to her from within.
Brienne opened the door and stepped inside, quietly closing it behind her and searching for her king. She found him sitting at the desk on the far side of the room, looking back at her with clear, vacant eyes. Even after six long months, Brienne still found Bran's cold stare unsettling. She knew he was a good man—after all, he was a Stark through and through—but the Three-Eyed Raven in him always unnerved her.
When Brienne failed to move, Bran said, "Come closer, please."
Brienne crossed the floor, stopping only when she reached the desk. Bran had never asked her for a private audience before. In the past, whenever they had spoken, it had always been in the presence of at least one other member of the small council, usually Tyrion. This was a new experience for Brienne, and she feared what her king might want of her.
Bran motioned toward the chair opposite him. "Sit down, Lady Brienne."
It wasn't often that anyone called her Lady Brienne anymore. It was usually Lord Commander or Ser Brienne. Podrick had a way of calling her my lady that she found endearing, so she never corrected him. But King Bran was now addressing her as Brienne of Tarth, not Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and that was just one more thing to unsettle her.
Keeping her posture straight, Brienne lowered herself onto the edge of the chair and regarded her king.
"That's better," he said.
Brienne expected Bran to say something more, but he didn't. He just sat there, quietly staring back at her, his eyes piercing her soul.
Brienne's heart thumped against her ribs, and she fought to remain outwardly calm. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to speak or wait until she was spoken to. She counted the seconds with the beating of her own heart, waiting for something to happen. When nearly a full minute had passed without a word spoken between them, she finally broke the silence. "Ser Podrick said that you wanted to see me."
"Yes. I wish to talk to you about Jaime Lannister."
The muscles in Brienne's shoulders tightened, and her posture became even more rigid. "Yes, what about Ser Jaime?"
"Why did you reject his request to join the Kingsguard?"
Brienne stared at Bran for a long moment, struggling to keep her emotions from reflecting in her eyes. Bran's question alarmed her, not because there was anything untoward in it, but because she was certain he already knew the answer and she wasn't sure what kind of game he was playing.
Brienne knew she could offer Bran some innocuous excuse about not wanting a one-handed swordsman among her ranks, but he would know it was a lie, and Brienne didn't want to betray her king. So she answered as honestly as she could, her blood thrumming in her veins. "Jaime Lannister and I have a complicated history. Although I once had great faith in his sense of honor and duty, that changed after he left Winterfell for King's Landing. I have recently come to realize that Ser Jaime is not the man I thought he was, and I cannot accept a man I cannot trust into the Kingsguard."
"Do you love him?"
Brienne's breath caught in her throat, and her heart seemed to stop beating. She had never expected Bran to ask her such a thing. Never. Although Brienne still loved Jaime Lannister with all her broken heart, she had never confessed her love for him to anyone, not even to Jaime himself. She had kept that part of herself hidden away, afraid of being mocked for her feelings. She'd been a fool for love before. She didn't want to be a fool ever again.
Brienne knew that Bran expected her to answer him directly, but she couldn't. There were some things even her king couldn't command of her. "I'm afraid I can't answer that," Brienne replied. "My feelings for Ser Jaime are . . . complicated."
"You think he betrayed you." It was a statement, not a question.
"He did betray me. He betrayed us all."
"Do you think you can ever forgive him?"
Brienne quietly contemplated the question. In the long six months since Jaime had disappeared from her life, there had been moments when she'd thought that she had forgiven him, moments when her grief over his loss had been so strong that she'd been willing to forgive him anything. And then, she'd have a bad night, a particularly bad dream, or someone would say Cersei's name, and all the pain, all the anger would come rushing back. Now that Jaime had returned, now that she knew he was alive, the matter was even more unsettled. Brienne wasn't sure if she could ever forgive him for all the terrible things he had done. She feared she might spend the rest of her life hating him for tearing out her heart.
It was a long time before Brienne was finally able to answer Bran's question. All she could manage was, "I don't know."
"I've forgiven him. And if I have forgiven him, I think you can too."
Brienne was silent for a moment. The night Jaime had abandoned her at Winterfell, he had confessed to pushing Bran from the broken tower. She could still hear his words as clearly as if they'd just been spoken: I pushed a boy out a tower window, crippled him for life, for Cersei. In the months since Jaime had made that confession, Brienne had managed to brush it aside, telling herself that he had been a different man when he'd tried to murder a defenseless child. But the truth was, he had still been Jaime Lannister, and just because she loved him, didn't mean he wasn't still guilty of his sins. But if Bran could forgive him for stealing his legs, couldn't she forgive him for breaking her heart?
Brienne finally answered, "There may come a time when I am able to forgive him, but I will never be able to trust him again, of that I am sure."
The hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Bran's lips, a rare sight indeed. "And why are you so sure?"
"Because trust is something that must be earned, and once it has been lost, it is nearly impossible to restore. I believed in Jaime Lannister once, and I paid a heavy price for it. I cannot imagine that there will ever come a time when I will be able to trust him again."
"And yet, if you are to remain Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, you will have to see him every day."
Brienne's heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, she feared that Bran intended to relieve her of her position. After everything she had been through, Brienne had very little left in her life that she valued, and her position as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard was more precious to her than nearly anything. She had worked hard for it, and she didn't know what she would do if Bran decided to dismiss her from her post.
"If I am to remain Lord Commander of the Kingsguard?" Brienne asked, her fear seeping into her words.
Bran's expression softened almost imperceptibly. "You mistake me, Lord Commander. I did not mean to imply that you were in danger of losing your post. All I meant was that I know your position is important to you and that you want to fulfill your duty to the best of your ability. If you are to do so, then you will have to work closely with Jaime Lannister. Can you do that without allowing your feelings to interfere with your duty?"
"Of course," Brienne replied without a moment's hesitation.
"You say that now, but two days ago, you assaulted Ser Jaime. Are you certain you are capable of controlling your emotions in his presence?"
The blood rushed to Brienne's cheeks, and she suddenly felt ashamed. She had always prided herself on remaining calm and collected in even the most trying situations. It was rare that she ever lost her temper, and yet, the one time she did, the king himself had taken her to task for it. Brienne wished she were anywhere else in the world at that moment. It had been a long time since she'd felt quite so mortified.
"That was a momentary lapse," Brienne said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "I was still in shock from discovering that Ser Jaime was alive, and I admit, I lost control. It will not happen again."
"Good, because it would not serve any of us well to have the smallfolk gossiping about the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard doing bodily harm to the new Master of War. We already have Lord Bronn and Ser Davos at each other's throats. We do not need more strife among the small council."
"Yes, I understand," Brienne replied, nodding her head in deference to her king.
"Although you may not be happy about his appointment," Bran said, "Jaime Lannister is exactly where he is meant to be. We are all exactly where we are meant to be. You must trust that is true."
Brienne eyed Bran curiously. Although he rarely revealed his secrets to the small council, he often spoke as if he knew the will of the gods themselves. Even though he was a Stark, sometimes it was hard for Brienne to trust him, sometimes his otherworldliness was simply too unnerving and it made her question everything he said and did.
Brienne refused to make any further comment about Jaime, so she said, "I know I am where I am meant to be, and I have no desire to leave."
"Good, because you are not meant to leave. Not yet."
"Not yet?" The words were out of Brienne's mouth before she could stop them.
"You may not be able to see it now, but there will come a time when you will desire to leave King's Landing for good. But it will not be a solemn occasion. It will be a choice you make for your own happiness."
Brienne shook her head. "No, no, I promise that will not happen. I want to be here. I want to be Lord Commander of the Kingsguard for all of my days. I swore an oath—"
"You swore an oath to serve the crown for as long as you hold your position. But you did not swear to remain here for life, and there is a reason for that."
Reluctantly, Brienne asked, "Because I'm meant to be somewhere else?"
Bran answered her with a faint smile, but he didn't say anything more on the subject. Instead, he changed the topic entirely. "You've had a raven from my sister this morning."
Brienne stared at him for a moment, startled by the abrupt turn in the conversation. Finally, she said, "Yes, I just sent off my reply before coming here."
"And what does she say? Anything I need to know?"
Brienne wondered just how much Bran knew about his sister's feelings for Tyrion Lannister. Although Tyrion's infatuation with the northern queen was widely discussed and often mocked, Brienne didn't think anyone knew about Sansa's affection for him. Of course, Bran seemed to know all, but did he really know the secrets of his sister's heart?
Brienne decided to answer as diplomatically as she could. "The northern lords have compiled a list of potential husbands for the queen. And while she has no desire to marry, she has agreed to take the matter under consideration, since it is the will of her bannermen."
"Have you shown the list to Lord Tyrion yet?"
Brienne was stunned silent. Suddenly, she couldn't help but wonder whether Bran had read Sansa's letter over her shoulder as she'd been writing it or if he had read it through the parchment when it had arrived in the rookery that morning. It was clear that he knew everything the letter contained, and Brienne feared he was testing her.
When Brienne finally found her voice again, she replied in a calm, even tone, "I have not."
"And do you plan to?"
"Tyrion is a wise man, and he knows a great deal about all the lords of Westeros. His opinion on the matter is highly valuable."
"Don't you think it will spark a hint of jealousy?"
"Despite his passion for drink and meddling in other people's affairs, Lord Tyrion is a pragmatic man. He will do his duty, as he always does, and give Queen Sansa an honest assessment of each of the candidates."
"Without knowing that she has made the request?"
"Yes, exactly."
Bran looked away, staring down at a piece of parchment on his desk, finally giving Brienne a chance to breathe.
"My sister is lonely," he said, picking up the parchment, his eyes scanning down its length. "She writes to me nearly every day. There should always be a Stark in Winterfell, but a Stark without a pack is a sad thing indeed." He lowered the letter and raised his eyes to Brienne. "My sister needs a pack, and the only way she is going to get one is by finding a husband and having children of her own."
Brienne's nerves hummed beneath her skin as she struggled to keep herself from asking Bran a question she knew she had no right to ask. But her curiosity was too great, and despite her good sense, she lost the battle with herself. "And do you know who Sansa should marry?"
"She should marry a man who is worthy of her. A lord, of course. Someone she can care for. Someone she can love."
Brienne's heart raced faster. "Yes, but do you know who that man is?"
Bran's smile widened ever so slightly. "Thank you for joining me, Brienne. You may go now."