The morning of September 1st in the luxurious penthouse of "Strawberry Productions" did not begin with the singing of birds or the smell of freshly brewed coffee.
It began with panicked rushing around the living room.
— "September first! Today is September first!" — wailed Takemichi, trying to tie his school uniform tie with trembling hands.
He had already almost strangled himself twice. — "If I miss the school assembly, Hina will kill me!"
"She is scarier than any mutated demon, you don't understand!"
I sat on the bar stool, dangling my short legs in the air.
My current body — the miniature elf Frieren with silver twintails — made any attempt to look menacing an absolute failure.
I was wearing Ai's huge t-shirt, which reached down to my knees.
I took a sip of green tea from the mug I held with both hands and sighed heavily.
— "Sit down, Hanagaki" — I said in my usual, slightly lazy tone, which sounded absurdly strange coming from the mouth of a loli-elf.
— "You are not going to school today. And tomorrow, most likely, neither."
— "But Hina..!" — he howled.
— "Hina will wait, but the fans and journalists will not. Have you even been on the internet today?"
I slid the tablet over to him. On the screen was the main Hunter and Idol forum.
At the top hung a thread titled: «The Poor Porter and His Blind Daddy».
Below it flaunted a meme that had already gathered three hundred thousand likes: a disgustingly photoshopped Bowser, with my signature black blindfold slapped onto his face.
Under his arm, Bowser was dragging a screaming Princess Peach, whose face was replaced by the crying mug of Takemichi, filmed by someone in the crowd during our dash through the acid slime in the Dungeon.
Takemichi turned pale, staring at the screen.
I scrolled down the page, reading the comments out loud in an absolutely emotionless voice: — User Kira_Kira writes: "I want this blind daddy to kidnap me too. Where do I get in line?"
User DemonSlayer99 replies: "This kid is literally sleeping on his feet while being dragged through acid, what a gigachad. The level of not giving a fuck that I strive for."
A strangled grunt came from the sofa. Marin, who was sitting there hugging the bundle of Lunar Silk, tried to hold back her laughter, but gave up and laughed out loud, wiping away tears.
— "Princess... Princess Hanagaki! Oh my god, the photoshop quality is just 10 out of 10! You need to do a cosplay of this!"
Ai, who had been calmly brushing her hair in front of the mirror until then, walked over to us.
She had no stage makeup on and looked surprisingly homey.
— "Gojo-kun is right, Takemichi-kun," — she said in a professional tone, looking at the screen. — "You've been remembered."
"If you go to school, you'll be torn apart for souvenirs. To go outside right now, you'll need a black medical mask, a bucket hat pulled down over your eyes, and..." — she thoughtfully put a finger to her chin, — "try to limp slightly on your left leg."
"It breaks your usual silhouette, making it harder for paparazzi to identify the target."
Takemichi looked at her in horror. Stealth advice from an absolute idol sounded like a survival manual for a war zone.
He slouched, finally admitting defeat, and trudged over to the coffee table. — "Fine... I'll stay."
"I still haven't finished my geometry homework anyway..."
Marin got up from the sofa, carefully clutching the precious fabric to herself. — "And I'm heading to the studio!"
"This silk isn't going to sew itself, and I need to make armor for Ai-chan for the next concert!"
"Gojo-kun" — she wagged a finger at me, — "behave yourself in that cutie's body, don't scare everyone away here!"
The front door slammed shut. The penthouse was plunged into a silence broken only by the rustling pages of a geometry textbook.
I was about to finish my tea when the world suddenly tilted.
The mug slipped out of my small hands and shattered against the marble floor with a clatter.
[ Sync System: WARNING! Side effect from the Premium Elixir.]
[ Forced restructuring of mana channels to S-rank standard initiating. ]
[ Status: Elven Fever. Temporary shell (Frieren) cannot cope with heat dissipation. ]
Everything inside caught fire. I was thrown into such a fever that it felt as if I had swallowed a chunk of lava.
My legs gave way, and I collapsed right onto the shards of the mug, gasping heavily for air.
Frost began to crackle around me — mana was spiraling out of control, freezing the floor.
— "Satoru-kun?!" — Ai was instantly by my side, paying no attention to the icy cold radiating from me.
She scooped up my tiny body in her arms and carried me to the sofa.
I wanted to say that everything was fine, that it was just a System bug for the next 48 hours, but only a pitiful, hoarse exhale escaped my throat.
The next two days blurred into one feverish fog for me.
From time to time I regained consciousness and saw Ai swearing on the phone.
On the second day, it wasn't just the manager calling, but Director Saito himself.
Ai, clutching the Amulet of Serenity hairpin in her hand, declared in a cold, categorical tone that she had severe flu and would not leave the house even if the agency lost millions.
For a superstar to drop out of her schedule for two days was unthinkable, but she didn't leave my sofa.
Somewhere in the background flickered Takemichi, pale as a ghost. The realization that he was missing his second day of school was driving him crazy, but he obediently ran to the kitchen to change the ice for my compresses.
— "Come on, open your mouth. Careful, it's hot," — Ai's quiet voice pulled me out of my half-slumber on the evening of the second day.
She sat on the edge of the sofa, blowing on a spoon of broth. I half-opened my eyes.
My silver hair was scattered across the pillow, my forehead glistening with sweat. I tried to turn away.
— "I am... the Strongest..." — I rasped, trying to turn on Gojo mode. — "I don't need... a spoon..."
— "Right now, the Strongest looks like a kitten with a cold" — Ai said softly but firmly. — "Eat."
She carefully poured the broth into my mouth. I swallowed. The warmth spread pleasantly down my esophagus, somewhat calming the ice storm in my mana channels.
— "Sorry" — I muttered, feeling incredibly stupid. Stuck in the body of a loli-elf for two days, being nursed by the top idol in Japan.
Surrealism.
— "For what?" — Ai smiled faintly, wiping my face with the edge of a towel.
— "You know, at the agency, girls are constantly fainting from overwork and diets. I'm used to keeping watch by their beds."
"It's... actually nice."
She lowered her gaze, her fingers nervously picking at the edge of the blanket. — "Usually everyone looks at me as if I'm made of thin glass."
"As if I'm not a person, but just the concept of 'Ai Hoshino'. But right now... I can just take care of someone. Be normal."
I looked up at her from below. The fever was melting my barriers.
The mask of the arrogant, invincible Satoru Gojo cracked, giving way to the tired guy I really was.
— "I get it," — I answered quietly. — "In my past... I mean, before... no one noticed me."
"And now they expect me to save the world with a snap of my fingers. You know what I really want?"
Ai tilted her head with interest, the stars in her eyes shimmering faintly in the dim living room. — "What?"
— "To open a small cafe," — I closed my eyes, feeling the fever finally beginning to recede. — "Bake cinnamon rolls."
"And for there to be not a single monster within a hundred-kilometer radius."
Ai laughed quietly, genuinely. — "A cafe? Satoru-kun, you would scare away all the customers with your personality!"
"Or you'd attract a crowd of girls who would only come for your eyes. You'd have to make reservations paid."
— "I'd charge them triple," — I chuckled, feeling my eyelids growing heavy.
— "Sometime... I will definitely invite you there. For free."
— "I'll hold you to that," — she whispered.
She adjusted the blanket, and her cool palm rested on the top of my head. Under this cozy care, I finally fell fast asleep.
I woke up deep in the night feeling cramped.
The blanket was suddenly the size of a handkerchief, and the sofa barely fit my legs.
[ Sync System: Template timer (48:00:00) expired. "Frieren" shell deactivated. ]
["Gojo Satoru" base template restored. Mana channel restructuring successfully completed.]
[ Current physical rank: A ]
I sat up, rubbing the back of my head with a familiar motion. My hand. Large, with long fingers. I was back.
There was no headache — an ocean of energy pulsed inside, calm and obedient. I could hold Infinity for hours now.
I looked down. Ai was asleep, sitting on the floor with her head resting on the edge of the sofa. No mask.
Just an incredibly tired girl who hadn't slept properly for two nights.
Carefully getting up, I scooped her into my arms — weightless, fragile — and moved her to my spot, gently covering her with a blanket.
My gaze slid to the window, beyond which the cruel city of Tokyo shone with thousands of lights.
There, in that jungle of neon and concrete, hid the Public Safety Bureau.
A Bureau that had had two whole days to pick up the scent.
I mentally reached out to the interface. [ Sync System: Open Inventory ] The familiar black fabric silently materialized in my palm.
I unhurriedly tied the blindfold, hiding the piercing glow of the Six Eyes. My lips stretched into a cold, confident smirk on their own.
Just let them try to come after me. I'll smear them across the wall.