"Lord Tsugikuni, what do you think human emotions are?"
There was a swordsman.
From birth, he could not comprehend human emotions.
He was a specter in a mask, forced to smile to blend among people.
Because he could not understand others, he was strong.
But because he could not understand others, he was lonely.
It was that blank threshold where, failing to grasp humanity, it was easier to turn into a monster.
Yet.
She chose to save people.
Even if she did not know, she longed to learn.
Even if she could not understand, she vowed to protect.
Thus she climbed the pillar and unleashed the first strike of thunder.
The specter, once incapable of empathy, yearned to become human, learned what it meant to be human, and strove to save people.
The lone signpost that guided that ruthless sword specter was one thing alone.
"Humans do good deeds."
It was that signpost that led the specter to choose life as a human.
Because there was an elder who offered that signpost, she was able to live as a human.
Indeed, the reason the specter wished to live as a human lay largely in the circumstances that shaped her.
Gyutaro was no different.
He had neither a signpost nor an elder to guide him.
He was never given an environment in which his goodness could blossom.
He became a Demon simply because, in that living hell, that was what he needed to survive.
He hadn't become a Demon by birth, but by circumstance.
Gyutaro, people—humans—change.
Depending on the circumstances they're placed in, if they do their best, they might become Demons or they might become people—that is the nature of humanity.
A merciless sword specter can pass through her own environment and become a guardian deity who protects humans.
And a person bent on protection, after surviving her environment, can become a greedy Demon that harvests life.
However, even if you wished to become a Demon, you wanted at least your younger sister to remain human.
That is why you are not a Demon.
"That is the most human form of greed."
After all, your greed was at least directed toward your sister's sake.
You harbored an excessive ambition for others.
Therefore, you are the most human.
However.
"But what happens if the world you built lacks you yourself?"
The problem is that within that very greed, Gyutaro, yourself, is absent.
Build up all that greed and it becomes Ume.
But in the world built by that very greed, the one who built it—Gyutaro himself—is missing.
"Even if you keep piling on that greed and harvest the happiness of others, what good is it if you remain unfulfilled?"
It's nothing more than pouring water into a bottomless jar.
If you fall into the delusion that it'll someday be filled and continue greedily capturing life, you'll end up being shunned by everyone.
That is...
"Is that what Ume really wants? For the world her brother built to be missing her brother himself?"
You wouldn't want Ume to live a life shunned by all, after all.
Gyutaro.
"Do you know why the elder brother is born before the younger sister?"
...
"It is to protect the siblings who will be born later."
You have fulfilled that duty more than enough.
And you will continue to do so going forward.
However.
"That is why you must not even think of disappearing."
Gyutaro, having had his collar released, lowered his head for a moment, then...
"I seeee..."
He continued in his drawn-out manner of speech.
"What do I doooo..."
He demanded answers, as if he knew nothing at all.
"I take what belongs to others. It's the only thing I learned while living as a human..."
If you don't know...
"If you don't know, then learn it."
Learn anew from the beginning.
Build it up again.
As Gyutaro living a second life, you must build it once more.
@@@
To learn, you say.
Can I even learn?
Without taking what belongs to others.
Can I suppress this boiling emotion as Gyutaro?
"Don't stoooop. When I see others happy, my insides twist and turn!"
"They twist and turn?"
I nodded as if that was the case.
I want to take it all.
For we were so unhappy ourselves.
I want to wage war on others' happiness and build my own.
Even if my organs twist, my flesh torn until it bleeds, this feeling won't vanish.
Then with what heart should we learn?
Must we pretend to be virtuous?
And if we fail at that, what then?
He studied me for a moment as if in thought, then, as though recalling something, nodded and continued.
"Then how about thinking of it differently, Gyutaro?"
Think differently?
"This world is a balance scale. Happiness is an extremely relative thing."
Relative?
"Smile. If someone brims with hope, another must fall into despair. So never despair—remain piled high with boundless hope. For the sake of plunging everything but us into despair."
That is quite...
"Isn't that villainous...?"
"I don't think that's something you, who vows to harvest everything as Gyutaro, should be saying."
Meanwhile, Nari struggled to hold back a smile.
Smile?
That man?
What he said just now wasn't sound advice at all!
I'm already disturbed to death over here.
Watching him try to smile, I found myself gnashing my teeth without knowing why.
"Gyutaro."
Whether he saw my feelings or not.
"Try it in any way you can. Keep prodding until you find your own path."
He turned his gaze back toward the moon and continued.
"Do not fear choosing the wrong answer. Humans are creatures that commit wrong answers."
"Do not fear choosing the wrong answer?"
What does that even mean...
"Humans always choose wrong answers. They think it is the right one, but the answers people pick are always wrong. For later, they discover a choice closer to the truth than the answer they gave in the past, and regret that they could have chosen a more correct answer for that question."
Humans pick wrong answers that are closer to the truth.
"But even while remembering their mistakes, humans choose wrong answers again. Answers that are closer to the truth than those chosen in the past, yet still wrong. They repeat this, building a tower, and move toward the right answer. That is how humans grow."
And so they build the tower and press onward.
I don't know if the life I've led so far is a wrong answer close to the truth or a fundamentally flawed one.
He neither affirms nor denies that.
No matter what answer was given at that time.
He simply says that, too, must be a wrong answer.
And what I must do is find, within that wrong answer, a wrong answer closer to the truth.
Yes. This man is giving me homework.
"Even if you choose a wrong answer again, do not fear. Chew over that wrong answer, or take a detour on another path. Face the question and propose yet another wrong answer. Then, when you reach some point, look back at the path you've traveled. It will be most delightful."
He let out a small chuckle and did not take his gaze from the moon.
The answer he gave may itself be the wrong answer.
But to find, within that answer, a wrong answer closer to the truth.
To walk the path of the wrong answer closer to the truth in a life marked by wrong answers.
I thought that might not be so bad after all.
So I wanted to know.
"Nari... when did you come to understand the role of an elder brother?"
Within that question, I wondered which wrong answer he would choose.
"Hmm. It's so old that I hardly remember."
"Is that soooo?"
"Still, my sibling was far more capable than I, yet there was something lacking."
He smiled at me as he spoke.
"In times like these, the firstborn must lead by example so the sibling does not go astray. It was only when I realized that that I came to know my role as the firstborn."
I looked at him, my eyes widening.
So that my simple-minded little sister would not stray.
So that my simple-minded little sister could live well.
Even if there is no perfect example for a firstborn, whether right or wrong.
Even if it is the wrong example, one must continue to lead by it.
"That, indeed."
How remarkable....
"That was, I believe, the hardest thing about being the firstborn."
I too turned my gaze to the moon and gave a wry smile.
Whether it is the wrong or the right answer, I do not know.
He and I, who walked different paths.
To think we both arrived at the same answer as firstborns.
It was most wondrous.