The door was locked.
Ita sat on the floor with his back against it, as if holding it shut with his own weight. The room felt smaller than usual, the walls closing in, the air too heavy to breathe properly.
His tears had stopped making any sound a long time ago.
Now they just fell quietly, one after another.
He hugged his legs tightly, pressing his forehead against his knees, trying to make himself disappear into the silence. The house was calm again. Too calm. Like nothing had happened. Like the pain in his chest didn't matter.
On the floor beside his bed was something small and sharp.
His hand reached for it slowly.
It wasn't the first time.
Sometimes the feelings inside him felt too big, too heavy, like they had nowhere to go. And in those moments, he didn't know what to do with himself. The tightness in his chest, the fear, the sadness—it all tangled together until he couldn't think straight.
He held the small blade in his hand, staring at it.
His fingers trembled.
For a moment, he just sat there, frozen.
Then,
Buzz.
His phone lit up on the floor.
Ita didn't look at it.
He stayed still, his eyes still on the blade.
Buzz.
Another notification.
He sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve, trying to ignore it.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
It kept going.
His eyebrows pulled together slightly. Who would keep messaging like that?
He slowly set the blade down beside him, the noise pulling his attention away. The phone screen kept lighting up over and over, the bright light flashing in the dim room.
Finally, he reached for it.
Kiel.
Of course.
Ita unlocked the screen.
A sticker popped up first , one of those exaggerated cartoon faces with messy hair and huge teary eyes, holding a math book like it was suffering.
Under it, Kiel had typed:
"Math homework is attacking me. I might not survive."
Another message came in.
"If I fail, I'm blaming you."
Then another sticker.
Then,
A selfie.
Kiel had sent a picture of himself making the ugliest face possible. His eyes were crossed, his cheeks puffed out, and his hair looked like he'd just rolled out of bed.
Ita blinked.
For the first time that day, something inside his chest shifted.
A small sound escaped him.
A laugh.
Soft. Weak. But real.
He covered his mouth quickly, almost surprised at himself.
Another message appeared.
"Oi, why so quiet? You alive?"
Ita stared at the screen, his tears slowly drying.
For a moment, just a moment,
The fear faded.
The pain in his chest loosened a little.
The house didn't feel so suffocating.
He looked again at the ridiculous selfie and let out another quiet laugh.
Everything that had happened earlier didn't disappear.
But it stepped back.
Just for a minute.
Just enough for him to breathe.
Ita wiped his face properly this time and typed slowly:
"You look like a frog."
Three dots appeared instantly.
"HOW DARE YOU."
Another ugly selfie followed, this one even worse than the first.
Ita shook his head, smiling faintly.
And for that small, fragile moment,
Sitting alone on his bedroom floor, phone glowing in his hands.
He didn't feel completely alone anymore.