Deadpool was currently wearing a pristine white tuxedo and holding a single red rose between his teeth. He was frantically spraying "New Car" scented air freshener around the announcer's booth.
"tum, you might want to put on your Sunday best and watch your language!" Deadpool whispered, tossing the rose over his shoulder. "We are in Ring 8, and the politeness levels are currently off the charts! It's the battle of the 'Ultimate Best Boys'! These two are so nice, they'll probably apologize to the floor for stepping on it! It's Sun-Breathing vs. The Sun-Ripple! Let's get wholesome!"
(I don't know why I wrote the two paragrafg like that but it's funny right hehe....he..he..uhum Sorry.)
Ring 8 was filled with blooming wisteria trees and ancient Roman pillars. The sun was shining brightly, and a faint, peaceful melody seemed to hum in the air.
Heimdall looked genuinely relieved. He had replaced his riot gear with a simple silk robe. "Match Number Thirteen! The Demon Slayer, Tanjiro Kamado! Versus the First Joestar, Jonathan Joestar!"
The Polite Opening
Tanjiro stood with his hand on the hilt of his black Nichirin sword. He bowed deeply, his forehead nearly touching his knees. "It is a great honor to face a man of such noble spirit! I can smell the kindness on you—it's like a warm loaf of bread! I will give you everything I have!"
Jonathan stood tall, his massive muscles barely contained by his 19th-century gentleman's attire. He bowed back just as deeply. "The honor is mine, young Kamado! I see the fire in your eyes and the burden you carry for your sister. Though we must fight for this tournament, let us do so with the dignity of true gentlemen!"
The Solar Symphony
Tanjiro took his stance. "Water Breathing, Tenth Form: Constant Flux!"
He lunged forward, his blade creating a flowing dragon of water that wound through the Roman pillars. Jonathan didn't draw a weapon; he simply took a deep breath, his blood pumping with the rhythm of the Sun.
"Sunlight Yellow... OVERDRIVE!"
Jonathan's fists began to glow with a brilliant gold light. He punched the water dragon, the Hamon energy conducting through the liquid and evaporating it instantly. The shockwave sent a golden ripple through the ground.
Tanjiro immediately shifted gears. His breathing pattern changed, and the water turned into roaring flames. "Hinokami Kagura: Burning Sun!"
He performed a circular slash, a wheel of solar fire spinning toward Jonathan. Jonathan didn't back down. He channeled Hamon into his own boots and leaped high into the air, his body glowing like a miniature star.
"I am sorry for this, Tanjiro!" Jonathan shouted as he descended with a massive double-fist strike. "Zoom Punch!"
The Gentlemanly Conclusion
The two solar energies collided in a blinding flash of orange and gold. The wisteria petals were swept up into a beautiful, glowing vortex.
Tanjiro used his incredible sense of smell to find the "opening thread," but as his sword reached Jonathan's chest, he realized something. Jonathan wasn't trying to hurt him; he was using the Hamon to gently push Tanjiro's blade aside while simultaneously applying a non-lethal pressure point to Tanjiro's shoulder.
The Hamon surged through Tanjiro's nervous system, not causing pain, but making his muscles go completely limp. Tanjiro tripped forward, and Jonathan immediately caught him before he could hit the ground.
"You have a warrior's heart, Tanjiro," Jonathan whispered, holding the boy steady. "But your body has reached its limit for today. Rest now."
Tanjiro smiled weakly, his eyes closing. "You... you really are... so kind..."
"Match Thirteen winner... JONATHAN JOESTAR!" Heimdall shouted, wiping a stray tear from his eye. "By way of a Very Polite Takedown!"
Up in the booth, Deadpool was blowing his nose into a giant handkerchief. "It's too pure, tum! My black, shriveled heart can't take this much goodness! That's 13 winners down, 38 matches to go in Round One! Jonathan Joestar moves to the Semi-Finals, and I'm going to go eat a lemon to balance out all this sweetness!"