Deadpool was currently sitting on a tatami mat in the middle of the announcer's booth, wearing a traditional straw ronin hat and trying to eat a bowl of ramen with two katanas instead of chopsticks. It was not going well.
"tum, put away the gadgets and the lasers! We are going old school—like, 'respect-your-elders-and-your-blade' old school!" Deadpool shouted, accidentally splashing broth onto his mask. "We are in Ring 8, and the silence is so loud it's giving me an existential crisis! It's the man who fought through time versus the man who outran his own shadow! The Honorable Blade versus the Battousai! If you blink, you're going to miss about forty-seven slash marks!"
Ring 8 was a breathtaking mountain plateau at sunset. Ancient maple trees with vibrant red leaves surrounded a stone courtyard, and a gentle wind carried the scent of incense and rain.
Heimdall was perched on a floating wooden pagoda. "Match Number Twenty-Seven! The warrior out of time, Samurai Jack! Versus the legendary swordsman of the Meiji Era, Himura Kenshin!"
The Bow of Respect
Samurai Jack stood perfectly still, his white gi clean and his wooden sandals firmly planted on the stone. He held his magic sword—forged from the righteousness of the human spirit—vertically before his face. "You carry the scent of a man who has known great sorrow," Jack said softly. "I do not wish to strike a man who seeks peace."
Kenshin stood with his hand on the hilt of his Sakabatou (the reverse-blade sword). He offered a small, humble bow, his red hair tied back in a simple ponytail. "Oro? You are kind, Sir Samurai. But in this arena, our spirits must speak through our steel. I have made a vow not to kill, but I will not let my path end here."
The Speed of a Falling Leaf
A single red maple leaf detached from a branch and began to drift toward the ground. The moment it touched the stone, the air exploded.
SHIIIIING!
They moved so fast that the spectators only saw sparks flying in the air between them. Kenshin utilized the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū, his body becoming a blur of god-like speed. He appeared to be in three places at once, his reverse-blade striking from angles that defied physics.
Jack, however, had trained with every master in history. He didn't chase Kenshin's speed; he anticipated it. With a calm focus, he parried every strike. The clashing of their blades sounded like a rhythmic drumbeat against the mountain silence.
The Final Draw
Up in the booth, Deadpool was holding a small paper fan and fanning himself dramatically. "It's a masterclass, tum! Jack's sword can cut through literally anything, but he's holding back because he respects the redhead! And Kenshin is trying to win with a sword that's basically a very expensive metal stick!"
Kenshin realized he couldn't break Jack's defense with standard strikes. He crouched low, his left foot stepping forward—the stance for the ultimate secret technique: Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki.
"Forgive me," Kenshin whispered, launching forward with a speed that created a localized vacuum.
Jack saw the flash. He closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, feeling the displacement of the air. He didn't draw back; he stepped into the vacuum. Using the momentum of Kenshin's own air pressure, Jack performed a precise, circular parry that redirected the force of the dragon's flight.
With a swift, non-lethal strike of his hilt, Jack tapped Kenshin's pressure point on his wrist. The Sakabatou flew from Kenshin's hand, spinning into the air and landing perfectly upright in the soft dirt outside the ring.
Kenshin stood still, his hand empty. He looked at his sword, then at Jack, and smiled. "Your spirit... is like a mountain. I cannot move it."
"Match Twenty-Seven winner... SAMURAI JACK!" Heimdall shouted, as the sun finally dipped below the horizon.
Up in the booth, Deadpool wiped a genuine tear from his eye. "That was so poetic I almost forgot to make a joke! That's 27 winners down, 24 matches to go in Round One, tum! The honor level just dropped by 90% because the next match involves things that go BOOM!"
The Fuse is Lit!
We're moving from the quiet mountains to a very, very loud crater!
Match 28 (Ring 2): Bakugo vs. Megumin. (Explosions? Explosions. The King of Explodo-Kills vs. The Arch-Wizard of One-Shot!)
Match 29 (Ring 19): Edward Elric vs. Overhaul. (The Fullmetal Alchemist vs. The Shie Hassaikai Leader. A war of matter!)
Match 30 (Ring 11): Rick Sanchez vs. Senku Ishigami. (Science vs. Drunk Science. The battle of the billion-IQ brains!)