Deadpool was currently wearing a heavy metal helmet and air-guitaring so hard that he accidentally fell off his chair. He scrambled back up, his mask slightly crooked, and grabbed the microphone with shaking hands.
"Alright, tum, clear the room! Hide the breakables! This isn't just a fight; it's a structural hazard to the entire multiverse!" Deadpool screamed, his voice full of pure hype. "In one corner, the man who made Hell his personal playground! In the other, the dad of the year who turned the Greek and Norse pantheons into a garage sale! It's the Hell-Walker vs. the Ghost of Sparta!"
The arena for this match was the Bridge of Ruin. One half of the bridge was covered in the frozen snow of Midgard, and the other half was a burning landscape of red rock and rivers of lava from the depths of Hell. The air smelled of sulfur and old blood.
Heimdall was standing on the very edge of the bridge, looking terrified. "Semi-Finals Match Fifteen! The Doomslayer, the Doom Marine! Versus the God of War, Kratos!"
Metal and Magic
The Doomslayer didn't say a word. He racked a shell into his Super Shotgun with a heavy, metallic CLACK. His green armor reflected the fire and the ice.
Kratos reached behind his back and gripped the handle of the Leviathan Axe. His red tattoos glowed faintly. "You seek a fight, stranger? You will find only death."
The Slayer moved first. He didn't run; he dashed with mechanical speed, firing both barrels of his shotgun. Kratos raised his Guardian Shield, the shells bouncing off the magical metal. Kratos threw his axe, the blade spinning and freezing the air as it flew.
The Slayer ducked, pulled out his Chainsaw, and swung it at Kratos's neck. Kratos caught the moving blades with his bare hands, his muscles bulging as the sparks flew against his skin. He kicked the Slayer in the chest, sending the armored man flying across the bridge.
The Blades of Chaos
"Deadpool check-in! This is brutal, tum!" the merc yelled, hiding behind a metal crate. "The Slayer is pulling out the big guns—literally! He's got the BFG 9000!"
A massive ball of green energy shot across the bridge. Kratos realized he couldn't block this. He drew the Blades of Chaos, the chains rattling as he swung them. He used the blades to grapple onto a stone pillar, pulling himself out of the way of the green explosion.
The Slayer switched to his Crucible, a glowing red energy sword. Kratos met him in the middle of the bridge, the red energy of the Crucible clashing against the fiery Blades of Chaos. The sound was like a mountain breaking apart.
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
The Slayer was faster, his strikes precise and heavy. But Kratos was a master of the hunt. He waited for a gap in the Slayer's rhythm. When the Slayer swung high, Kratos dropped low and drove his shoulder into the Slayer's gut.
Spartan Rage
Kratos let out a primal roar. His eyes turned red, and his body was covered in a golden-red aura. Spartan Rage was active. He began pummeling the Slayer's helmet with his bare fists, each punch cracking the reinforced glass.
The Slayer activated his own Berserk power-up. The two titans stood in the center of the bridge, trading blows that would have killed a normal god. They didn't dodge. They didn't hide. They just hit each other until the bridge beneath them started to crumble into the lava.
Kratos managed to grab the Slayer's shotgun and rip it out of his hands, tossing it into the abyss. The Slayer responded by grabbing Kratos by the throat.
In the final moment, Kratos called the Leviathan Axe back to his hand. As it flew through the air, it struck the Slayer in the back, stunning him for just a second. Kratos used that second to deliver a massive, two-handed slam that sent the Slayer crashing through the bridge and down into the freezing waters of the Midgard side.
The Slayer tried to climb back up, but the cold water and the weight of his damaged armor slowed him down. Kratos stood on the broken edge, breathing heavily, his axe returning to his hand.
"Match Fifteen winner... KRATOS!" Heimdall shouted, his voice shaking.
Up in the booth, Deadpool was holding a "Team Kratos" foam finger. "That was the most intense father-son-angry-man bonding session I've ever seen, tum! The Slayer is down, and the God of War stands tall!"