The classroom was empty.
That was normal. Tanaka's classmates were somewhere else: gym, maybe, or some club activity he hadn't paid attention to. He hadn't been paying attention to much lately.
He sat at a desk near the window. Elbow on the wood. Chin in hand. Staring at nothing. He just wanted to be closer to the window to get some fresh air.
The sky was gray. Same as yesterday. Same as always.
Yesterday.
His stomach turned.
He'd almost died. Again. In the span of a few days, that was the second time his body had been used as a weapon, thrown through buildings, torn apart, put back together. He'd felt every second of it. The bone shards leaving his arms. The impact of chainsaws against his chest. The moment when Human had drunk Chainsaw Man's blood in mid-air, regenerating, hungry.
And he'd almost killed someone.
Not just someone. Chainsaw Man. The hero of the city. The devil everyone loved or hated or obsessed over. Tanaka had tried to kill him. His hands. His body. His self.
Well. Not his self. Human's self.
But the distinction felt thin right now.
He looked down at his palms. Normal. Just skin. No mouths, no claws, no evidence of the monster living inside him. But he knew. He could feel it there, coiled and waiting. Thinking. Watching.
'Why?' he thought. Not directed at anyone. Just the question, floating in the empty space of his mind.
He already knew the answer. Human was like that. Carried by hate. Driven by something older than thought. See Chainsaw Man, lose control. Simple. Stupid. Devil.
But also not simple. Because Human was contradictory. He could be calm and reasonable one moment, then wordless rage the next. He could explain philosophy and then forget language entirely. He wanted to be human so badly it consumed him, but being human meant feeling things, and feeling things made him lose control.
Contradictory. Like humans.
Tanaka almost laughed. Didn't have the energy.
He just sat there. Staring at gray sky. Trying not to think about falling through fourteen floors with chainsaws tearing into his chest.
The silence stretched.
He'd been avoiding Human all morning. Not talking. Not thinking at him. Just... existing separately. Two creatures sharing one body, neither willing to acknowledge the other.
It was almost peaceful.
Almost.
The door slid open.
Tanaka didn't look up. Probably a teacher. Probably someone asking why he was here instead of wherever the class was. He'd make up an excuse. They'd leave. Alone again.
Footsteps. Stopping at his desk.
"Are you a devil?"
Tanaka blinked.
Looked up.
A boy stood there. Tall. Dark hair. Earrings glinting in the gray light. School uniform, same as Tanaka's. But Tanaka didn't recognize him.
The boy's expression was calm. Almost bored. But there was something underneath it. A sharpness. A knowing.
Tanaka's mouth opened. Nothing came out.
"...What?"
"Yesterday." The boy tilted his head. "The biker helmet."
Tanaka's blood went cold.
The boy was smirking now. Just slightly. Just enough.
He knew.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tanaka followed him.
He didn't have a choice. The guy, Hirofumi Yoshida, he'd said, like that meant something- had the kind of calm confidence that made it clear resistance was pointless. Not threatening. Just... inevitable. Like a tide.
They walked through the school hallways. People could be seen from time to time. Some ignored the duo, some glanced for a few seconds, and the weirder ones stated.
Their footsteps echoed off the lockers.
Tanaka's mind raced.
How did he know? Was he there? Did he see? Was he a Devil Hunter? Public Safety? Was Tanaka about to be executed? Taken away? Dissected?
He glanced at Yoshida's back. Relaxed posture. Hands in pockets. Walking like he owned the place. Like he had all the time in the world.
"What do you want with me?"
Yoshida didn't turn. "It's for your own safety."
Bullshit. That's what people said when they meant something else.
They reached a side door. Exited into a small courtyard. Empty. Private. A few benches. Some dying plants. The gray sky overhead.
Yoshida stopped. Turned. Faced him.
"Tell me." No more casual tone. Sharper now. Direct. "Can you speak with the devil?"
Tanaka opened his mouth.
"...I-"
"He can."
The voice came from Tanaka's palm.
Tanaka looked down. A mouth had appeared there. Splitting his skin. Teeth. Tongue. Speaking with Human's calm, reasonable tone. The lips moved against his flesh like they'd always been there.
He flinched. Stepped back. Disgust crawled up his spine.
Yoshida didn't react. Just looked at the mouth. At Tanaka's face. Back at the mouth.
"You're really bold." His tone was flat. Unimpressed. "What if I was a Devil Hunter? You know, hybrids like this are usually dealt with violence."
Tanaka's heart hammered. It was clear that Yoshida wasn't a normal student.
"You have a reason for this." The words came out before Tanaka could stop them. "You're too calm."
Yoshida's eyebrow twitched. Just slightly.
"Perhaps."
"Just tell me what you want, damnit." Tanaka's voice cracked. He was tired. So tired. "Just-"
Yoshida watched him for a long moment. Studying. Calculating.
Then-
"I want you to meet Chainsaw Man."
The world stopped.
For one second. Two. Three.
Then Tanaka's body moved.
Not his choice. Not his control. Human- raging- surged forward like a wave. Tanaka's arm shot out, hand morphing mid-strike, fingers elongating, bone plates sliding into place, becoming claws, becoming weapons, aimed at Yoshida's throat-
A tentacle intercepted.
Pink. Suckers. Octopus. It wrapped around Tanaka's transformed arm and squeezed. Bone plates creaked. Pressure built. Tanaka felt the crushing force, the pain, the stop.
Human tried to push through. Couldn't. The tentacle was stronger. More practiced.
Yoshida hadn't moved. Still standing there. Hands still in pockets. Expression unchanged.
A devil contract. Of course. Of course he had one. Everyone had one now, apparently.
Human's voice came from Tanaka's throat. That calm tone, but with an edge now. Something cold underneath. Something that had stopped being reasonable.
"Are you friends with him? Bring me to him."
Yoshida tilted his head. "Perhaps." A pause. "But that's the thing I want to talk about."
The tentacle tightened. Just slightly. Warning.
Human went still inside Tanaka's body. Tanaka could feel it: the rage still there, burning like a furnace, but contained now. Waiting. Calculating.
"Violent reactions." Yoshida's tone was almost conversational. Like they were discussing the weather. "You know. Too much destruction yesterday. The news is calling you a rival. A threat. Public Safety is already asking questions."
Tanaka's mouth opened. Human's voice. "I would kill him."
"And die too." Yoshida's smirk returned. "Remember, I know how trash you are at secret identity."
The words landed.
Human went very still.
Because it was true. The helmet was gone. Lost in the fight. Tanaka's face had been visible at the end- apparently- maybe not clearly, maybe not to everyone, but to someone watching closely? Someone who knew what to look for?
Yoshida knew.
And if Yoshida knew, others could find out.
The tentacle released. Slid back into Yoshida's sleeve. Gone.
Tanaka's arm hung there. Still transformed. Still claws. Still wrong.
Human's voice, quieter now...
"What do you propose?"
Yoshida smiled.
It was not a nice smile.
"To not fight Chainsaw Man on sight." Simple. Direct. Like it was nothing.
It was too simple. It's like telling a toddler to simply correct a college level exercise. The toddler in this situation just can't comprehend the query.
A pause. Then a laugh. Human's laugh, but wrong, too knowing, too old, too tired.
"Impossible." The word dripped with something between amusement and despair. "The unreasonable hatred inside me burns hotter than any star."
Yoshida's eyebrow twitched. Just slightly.
"Shocked that even you realized how unreasonable it is."
"I am very aware of my flaws." Human's tone shifted. Quieter. Almost sincere. "I am a speaker of truth, just as I am a pathetic liar."
Tanaka, trapped inside, felt the weight of those words. Human meant them. That was the worst part. He knew he was irrational. Knew his hatred was stupid. Knew it would get them both killed. And he couldn't stop.
That was the contradiction. That was the humanity of it.
Yoshida studied him for a long moment. The silence stretched. A bird called somewhere in the distance. The dying plants rustled.
"You know." Yoshida's voice was casual again. Conversational. "For a devil that wants to kill Chainsaw Man so badly, you're very controlled right now."
No response.
"Most devils would have attacked again. Tried something. But you're standing there. Waiting. Thinking." A glance. "That's rare."
Human's voice: "I am not most devils."
"No." Yoshida's smirk returned. "You're the one who fought him to a standstill yesterday. The news is calling you a rival. Some are even giving you names: Bone Devil, Helmet Devil, Chainsaw-Killer." He paused. "I prefer the last one. Dramatic."
Tanaka felt something shift inside. Human was... pleased? No. Amused? Maybe. Or maybe just surprised that someone was talking to him like an equal instead of a monster.
"You flatter me."
"I state facts." Yoshida's tone hardened. "But facts don't change the problem. You attacked him. You'll attack him again. And eventually, one of you dies. Probably both."
"That is the nature of hatred."
"Is it?" Yoshida tilted his head. "Or is it the nature of stupidity?"
Tanaka's body moved before he could think- arm shooting out, claws extended, aimed at Yoshida's chest this time-
A tentacle caught it. Same as before. Stronger this time. Wrapping, squeezing, crushing.
Yoshida hadn't moved. Didn't even blink.
"Predictable." His tone was bored. "You see, this is what I mean. You know it's unreasonable. You know attacking me does nothing. And yet-"
The tentacle tightened. Bone creaked. Tanaka felt it in his own arm- the pressure, the pain, the slow grinding of transformed bone against supernatural force.
"-here we are."
Human strained against the grip. Couldn't move. Tanaka felt the frustration, the rage, the humiliation burning through him. Felt it like his own.
"You think you understand me?" Human's voice was lower now. Dangerous. "You think a few words and some cheap tricks make you clever?"
"I think you're emotional." Yoshida's smirk widened. "And emotions make humans stupid. Isn't that what you want to be? Human?"
The words landed.
Tanaka felt them hit Human like physical blows.
Emotions make humans stupid.
Isn't that what you want to be?
For a moment, just a moment, the rage flickered. Something else surfaced. Doubt? Shame? Recognition? Tanaka couldn't tell. It was like watching a fire gutter in the wind.
Then it was gone.
The tentacle released.
Human stepped back. Breathing hard. Tanaka's body trembling with suppressed violence. The claws retracted slowly, reluctantly.
Yoshida watched. Calm. Unbothered.
"Manipulation," Human said quietly. "You're trying to manipulate me."
"Yes."
"Using my desire for humanity against me."
"Yes."
"Admitting it openly."
"No point in lying." Yoshida shrugged. "You're smart. I'm smart. We both know what this is. The question is whether you'll let your hatred override your intelligence."
Silence.
Long. Heavy. Loaded.
Then Human laughed. Not the mocking laugh from before. Something else. Something almost... impressed.
"You're dangerous."
"I know."
"I should kill you now."
"You could try." Yoshida's eyes flicked to the tentacle coiled in his sleeve. "It wouldn't work."
Another pause.
Then Human retreated. Tanaka felt him pull back, felt control return fully, felt the presence recede to the back of his mind. Watching. Waiting. But not in control.
He was himself again. Shaking. Confused. Alive.
Yoshida watched the shift. Noted it.
"Interesting." He turned. Gestured. "Come on. There's someone you need to meet."
-----------------------------------------------------------
The classroom was noisy.
Students everywhere. Talking, laughing, throwing things, existing in that loud, messy way teenagers did. Tanaka followed Yoshida inside, staying slightly behind, trying to make himself small. Trying to disappear.
His eyes scanned the room.
And stopped.
A blonde-haired boy. Sitting on the floor in the corner. A girl was perched on his back like a chair, chatting with another girl nearby. He looked completely unbothered by this arrangement. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Tanaka just made a strange and confused face.
Yoshida approached another student. Tapped his shoulder.
"Hello. I'm looking for Denji."
The guy glanced over at the blonde. Then back at Yoshida.
"Denji!" He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Some tall pretty boy is looking for you!"
The blonde, Denji, looked up.
-----------------------------------------------------------
They stood outside the classroom.
Denji leaned against the wall. Arms crossed. Face somewhere between annoyed and suspicious. Yoshida beside him. Tanaka a few steps away, trying very hard to look normal. Trying very hard not to think about the chair thing.
"Come on, dude." Denji's voice was exactly what Tanaka expected, casual, slightly dumb, completely unbothered by the fact that he was a chair. "Stop stalking me."
Yoshida didn't react. "Denji. Why was that girl sitting on you?"
"For ten yen, I'll be a chair for ten minutes." Denji shrugged. Like this was obvious. "If I'm not back in the next thirty seconds, I gotta give her a refund." He checked an imaginary watch. "Speaking of which-"
He started to move.
Yoshida held up a hand. Small. Plastic. A student ID.
"You dropped this." Calm. Casual. "While fighting the Cockroach Devil."
Denji froze.
Stared at the ID.
Snatched it.
"Damn it."
"I knew it." Yoshida's tone didn't change. "You left it on purpose. To reveal your identity."
Denji's jaw tightened. "What's it matter to you?!"
"I can't have it getting out that you're Chainsaw Man." Yoshida's voice was still calm, but there was steel underneath now. Real steel. "My goal is to make you live in peace. I won't let you spill the beans. I'll stop you by force if I have to-"
"Try to stop me and-"
"Sorry..."
The voice came from behind them. Small. Quiet. Confused.
Tanaka.
He stood there, hands at his sides, looking between them with an expression of complete bewilderment.
"Are you... Chainsaw Man?"
Silence.
Denji looked at him. Really looked. Eyes narrowing. Studying. Ignored the question.
Then recognition.
"Holy-" He straightened. Pointed. "You're the dude! The helmet guy! You tried to kill me yesterday!"
Tanaka's face went white. This confirmed the fact that Denji was in fact, Chainsaw Man, but also made him question how the hell did he connect him to the helmet.
It was shocking. He was able to recognize him by just a glance.
"That- I- It wasn't-"
"It was totally you!" Denji was advancing now. Not angry, but confused. Baffled. Like he'd just discovered his new neighbor was also a raccoon. "Same uniform! Same build! Same stupid look on your face! You tried to chainsaw my face off, man!"
"The chainsaws are your thing! And how did you see my face?!"
"Don't deflect! And I totally saw you..! I think... BUT STILL, SAME BANDAGES AND BUILD!"
Yoshida watched them. Amused. Like this was exactly what he'd wanted.
They bickered.
"You attacked me right after the cockroach fight! I was tired!"
"You were holding a cat!"
"So?! Cats are innocent! You could have hit the cat! How is that an argument?!"
"You threw me through fourteen floors!"
"You threw me through fourteen floors first!"
"I threw you? You threw me!"
"Your stupid bone cannon thing-"
"Your stupid chainsaw head-"
"I don't have a stupid chainsaw head, I have a cool chainsaw head!"
"It's objectively stupid!"
"It's objectively awesome!"
"Your guts were hanging out!"
"So were yours!"
Yoshida cleared his throat.
Both of them turned.
Denji pointed at Tanaka. "This guy's crazy. You know that, right? Like, seriously crazy. He was screaming nonsense and shooting bones from his arms."
Tanaka opened his mouth to protest. Closed it. Couldn't really argue.
"I need to go." Denji pointed down the hall. "Chair. Refund. We're not done."
He started walking.
Yoshida moved. Blocked him. Held up a bill.
Thousand yen.
Denji stopped.
"Let's talk." Yoshida's voice was calm. "I'll pay a hundred times more."
Denji looked at the money. Looked at Tanaka. Looked at the money again. His eyes did something complicated, desire warring with confusion, greed fighting dignity.
"...Fine."
He dropped to the floor. Positioned himself like a chair. Back straight, knees bent, hands on the floor. Waiting.
Yoshida sat on his back.
Tanaka stared.
This was insane. This was absolutely insane. Chainsaw Man, the hero of the city, the devil who fought devils, the thing Human had tried to murder with every fiber of his being, was being used as a chair for a thousand yen.
Yoshida looked up at him. Calm. Comfortable. Like he did this every day.
"Sit down. We have things to discuss."
Denji grunted. "Yeah. Like why you tried to kill me." He twisted his neck to look back. "And also why you're so bad at it. I've had worse fights with a bat devil."
Tanaka didn't move.
Didn't know how.
"I'm not sitting on him."
"Why not?" Yoshida's tone was genuinely curious.
"Because-" Tanaka gestured vaguely at Denji. "He's- We- Yesterday-"
"Yesterday you were trying to murder each other. Today you're sitting on him. This is called progress."
Denji nodded. "Yeah, man. Progress. Get with it."
Tanaka stared at them. Two devils. One chair. One blackmailer. The most absurd situation he'd ever been in.
Inside his head, something stirred.
'This is fascinating.'
'Not now.'
'The social dynamics alone- the former enemies forced into proximity, the negotiation of space and status through the act of sitting-'
'I said not now.'
'But you should sit. It would be rude not to.'
Tanaka's eye twitched.
He sat.
On Denji's back.
It was exactly as uncomfortable as it looked.
"Okay." Yoshida's voice was businesslike now. "Now that we're all comfortable-"
"I'm not comfortable," Tanaka muttered.
"-let's discuss the situation."
"Soo... Huh... how do I explain this..." Tanaka started. Stopped. Started again. "There's a devil inside me. He's-"
"There is a devil inside him." Yoshida cut in. Matter-of-fact. "That's the short version."
Denji's eyes went wide. Then narrowed. Then he grinned.
"Aaah, I understand now." He nodded sagely. Like everything made perfect sense. "So you're like me. Devil in the body. Hybrid buddy."
Tanaka opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
"That's... not exactly-"
"Though, now I have a rival, as the media says...." Denji's grin faltered. His eyes went distant. Processing. Then, full panic.
"I WON'T BE AS POPULAR AS BEFORE?! HOW WOULD I GET A GIRLFRIEND NOW?! CHAINSAW MAN WAS MY ONLY HOPE!"
The shout echoed down the hallway. A few students glanced their way, then quickly looked elsewhere. They were weirdos.
Tanaka stared.
Yoshida sighed.
"...That's what you're worried about?"
"Of course!" Denji's voice cracked with genuine distress. "I want a girlfriend! Is that too much to ask?! I fight devils, I save cats, I let people sit on me for money, what more do they want?!"
Tanaka blinked. Once. Twice.
He looked at Yoshida.
Yoshida looked back. Completely unbothered.
"I'm not even going to bother," Tanaka muttered.
"Well, you are going to." Yoshida's tone shifted. Sharper. More directed. "Denji having a girlfriend is really important for safety."
Tanaka's brain short-circuited.
"Safety."
"Yes."
"His safety."
"Our safety." Yoshida's eyes were cold now. Calculating. "A stable Denji is a controllable Denji. A controllable Denji doesn't do stupid things like reveal his identity on live television." He glanced at the blonde beneath them. "Unfortunately, his definition of 'stable' involves female attention."
Denji nodded vigorously. "He gets it! He totally gets it! Even though he's kind of a stalker..."
Tanaka looked between them. The devil-boy being used as a chair. The calm manipulator sitting on him. The absolute absurdity of the situation.
"Why is this my problem?"
Yoshida smiled.
It was not a nice smile.
"Because I know your secret. Because I know what's inside you. Because if you want me to keep that information to myself-" He leaned forward. "You're going to help Denji find a girlfriend."
Silence.
Long. Heavy. Unbelievable.
Tanaka's eye twitched.
"You're blackmailing me. Into finding him-" he pointed at Denji, "-a girlfriend."
"Yes."
"For safety."
"Yes."
"His safety."
"And yours." Yoshida's smile widened. "Think of it as team building. You tried to kill him yesterday. Now you can make up for it by ensuring his romantic success."
Denji perked up. "Oh! Oh! I like this plan! Team building! Romance! What's your type? Do you know any girls?"
Tanaka held up a hand.
"Stop."
Denji stopped.
"I need- " Tanaka closed his eyes. Took a breath. "I need a moment."
Inside his head, something stirred.
'This is fascinating.'
'Shut up.'
'He wants you to find him a mate. Like animals. Like humans. The rituals of courtship, the desperation for connection-'
'I said shut up.'
'I could help.'
Tanaka's eyes snapped open.
'What?'
'I've watched humans pair up for millennia. I know the patterns. The signals. The lies they tell themselves and each other.'
A pause.
'I could help.'
'Why?'
Another pause. Longer.
'...Because I want to see if it works.'
Tanaka didn't know what to do with that.
Didn't know what to do with any of this.
He opened his eyes.
Yoshida was watching him. Denji was watching him. Two devils, one chair, one blackmailer, and a problem he never asked for.
"Fine." The word tasted like ash. "Fine. I'll help."
Denji pumped his fist. "YES! Team girlfriend! Let's go!"
Yoshida stood. Stepped off Denji's back. Brushed off his pants. And so did Tanaka.
"Good." He looked at Tanaka. "We'll start tomorrow. Bring ideas."
He walked away.
Left them there.
Denji scrambled up, grinning like an idiot. "Dude, this is gonna be great! We're gonna find me a girlfriend! We're gonna be buddies! Best friends! Girlfriend-finding buddies!"
Tanaka stared at the retreating figure of Yoshida.
Then at the grinning idiot beside him.
Then at the ceiling.
Nothing made sense anymore.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Denji was still talking.
"-and she has to like dogs, because I like dogs, but also cats, because I like cats too, and she can't be too tall, but also not too short, and she has to be okay with me being Chainsaw Man, but also not too okay, you know? Like, she should be impressed but not weird about it-"
Tanaka tuned him out.
Walked down the hallway.
Denji followed. Still talking.
"-and also she has to be okay with me being poor, because I'm poor, but like, not in a pity way, in a 'I'm working on it' way. And she has to like ramen. That's important. If she doesn't like ramen, it's never gonna work-"
Tanaka stopped.
Turned.
"Tomorrow," he said. "We'll talk tomorrow."
Denji blinked. "Oh. Yeah. Okay. Tomorrow." He grinned again. "Same time? Same place? Should we have a secret handshake? Girlfriend-finding buddies should have a secret handshake."
"No."
"Okay, but maybe-"
"No."
Tanaka walked away.
Denji's voice followed him down the hall.
"Tomorrow! Don't forget! Bring ideas! Good ideas! Not bad ones!"
Tanaka kept walking.
The gray sky waited outside.
Nothing made sense anymore.
But somehow, that felt almost normal.