Chapter 7Chapter Text
Seven
Walking into St. Mungo's, Hermione ignored the few surprised glances turned her way and headed for the information desk. Hopefully they would stay away and let her deal with her errand before she got mobbed by people for being a hero to the wizarding world. It had happened to her before, when she had gone to the Ministry to Floo to Australia. A group of people swamped her and made it difficult to get to the proper Floo and she did not want to deal with that now. She was really hoping that one of the Healers here would be able to help, as trying to explain everything that had happened to her and complying with the State Statute of Secrecy was difficult at best. No, she really wanted this for her but most especially for Harry. He really needed the help far more than she did.
The woman at the information looked up and started in surprise when she saw her, eyes wide, mouth dropping open. After a few moments the woman stammered out, "M-miss Granger."
Hermione sighed. It seemed like it was going to be one of those days. Lovely. "Yes, hello. I need to see if there is someone here who I can speak to about treating damage from the Cruciatus Curse as well as treating someone dealing with battle fatigue, like with long time Aurors. I am doing some research into this area and wanted to get some advice from someone who works in this area."
"Certainly, Miss Granger, I would be happy to assist you. You will need to go to the fourth floor, where spell damage is treated. Most of the issues of battle fatigue have been caused by repeat exposure to offensive and defensive spells. I will send you to Senior Healer Bainsley, one of our most knowledgeable on the subject. I am sure that he will be able to answer any of your questions."
With a smile, Hermione thanked the woman and then headed deeper into the building, away from where people were starting to notice that she was there. She headed upstairs and once there, followed the directions from one of the staff at the nursing station to the Senior Healer's office. Once she reached the appropriate door, she knocked politely. She only had to wait a moment before the door opened and an elderly wizard with a short, well groomed grey beard and octagonal framed glasses looked out, "Yes?"
"Senior Healer Bainsley?" asked Hermione politely.
"Ah… Miss Granger, please come inside. I was told you had some questions? Please come in, sit down. How may I assist you?" The healer moved and sat on a chair in front of his desk, gesturing towards the other one so that they could sit close to each other.
Hermione appreciated this and sat near him, not bothered at all by how close they were. "Actually I am afraid I was a bit disingenuous. While I do have questions this visit is for a consult but I did not want to let anyone know the true reason for this until I was actually protected by patient Healer confidentially. The potential fallout could be too great."
Senior Healer Bainsley eyebrows rose in surprise at hearing this and he peered at her closely, trying to make sense of this. His voice was somewhat guarded as he said, "Go on."
Taking a deep breath to center herself, Hermione summoned her Gryffindor courage and explained, "Back in late March, during the recent unpleasantness, I was tortured under the Cruciatus Curse by Bellatrix Lestrange. She put me under the curse quite a number of times and then she carved this into my skin with a cursed knife." She rolled up the sleeve on her left arm to show the scar that still stood out boldly against her fairly pale skin. "Since then I have been having nightmares and other issues, including flares of pain similar to the curse itself because of it. They have been decreasing in frequency, which I am happy about but they have not gone away. I have been seeing a muggle therapist to help me deal with some of it but it has not really been helping as much as I would have hoped. I was not sure if there was actually a treatment for this available in the magical world, which is why I did not think to check here first."
The man nodded, a bit shocked to be sure with what he was hearing, but clearly trying to make sense of the issue. "There is a treatment protocol for people who have undergone severe cursing trauma from that curse. There are some potions that you can take that can help with the residual nerve damage that you are no doubt feeling and there are other things that can be done to help with the nightmares. This is not an insurmountable problem, especially as you are doing so well this many months out from the event. With the proper care, you will only have the occasional nightmares that any trauma victim would occasionally have. I can do a diagnostic spell to assess the nerve damage to prepare the appropriate regimen of potions. And though I am loathe to ask, the other issue you mentioned?"
"You know who Harry Potter is, correct?" said Hermione rather flatly.
Snorting the man rolled his eyes, as if that were the most ludicrous statement ever. He then sobered. "Of course, I take it then that this issue concerns him."
"Yes. From what I can tell Harry has been dealing with what the muggles call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, possibly some Survivor's Guilt and… and well, he has also survived the killing curse a second time. Since then he has not been doing well at all." Hermione was not sure how much to tell and so only stuck to the most basic facts at this point.
The man's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. "A second time? He survived it a second time? That had not been reported in the news story."
"We did not want anyone to know. Please, you cannot tell anyone and if I doubt your word even slightly I will make you take an Oath or even an Unbreakable Vow to that effect. Now I am sure you need more information so here are some more of the details I was able to get from him." Hermione passed on what Harry had told her about how he had been lately, the issues he had been having and how he had reacted to the noise. She left nothing back and included her own observations, adding those onto the end, making it clear that those were her notes.
The Senior Healer suddenly got back to being all business and then nodded, following along with what she was saying. "Yes, you are quite right, this is very serious. Well, first things first, there are a number of things that can be done to help him, at least to mask the symptoms at first and then we can move forward and try for a real healing."
"Can you keep this a secret? This would not be a good thing if it got out to the rest of the wizarding world. They would probably not deal well if their hero was having these sorts of issues. There are too many in the wizarding world who cannot deal with the realities of this nature." said Hermione.
"Certainly Miss Granger and I quite agree with you on this point. What I can do for you right now is I can get you a collection of potions to give to Mr. Potter to help for a few days and then I will come to see him. That will allow me to get a better assessment of things on his end and to see if what I have given him has helped with the paranoia and stress." said the Senior Healer with a smile. "I can also grab your medicine at the same time. Now let me get started so we can send you on your way."
He got up, ran a diagnostic spell over her and then led her out into hallway. They went to a dispensary where he collected a number of potions, separating them into different groups and marking them with quick motions of his wand. He then handed her two lists he had written while he had been in the room. "There you go Miss Granger. I thank you for your questions and your interest into my field of study. I hope that these samples will help you with your research into this field. Take care and I hope to speak with you again."
Hermione smiled, pleased that the man understood her need for discretion. "Thank you Senior Healer Bainsley. You have been a great help."
She put everything into her expandable bag and headed downstairs. Once she got to the Floo departure point she went to go see Harry, as she was sure that he would appreciate being able to start this round of potions. If it would help then everything would be better.
She walked out of the fire and into Grimmauld Place and was brushing soot off of herself, calling out, "Harry?"
Kreacher walked into the room and saw her. "Master Potter is in the shower now. Please have a seat until he is clean."
Hermione smiled. This was at least a better sign than when she had first come to the house. That showed at least some improvement in the depression. "That is good to hear. The house is looking better Kreacher. You have been doing a wonderful job."
"Thank you."
Hermione had a seat and waited as she took out the bottles marked for Harry and the directions for him, setting them down of the coffee table. She also took out her own sheet and began going over it, looking over the directions for her own medications and the treatment plan. It seemed that the potions that Fleur had given her were fairly decent for a first round of treatment but not perfect. These were supposed to be much better to treat the lingering effects of the curse and much more aimed at dealing with the specific issues the curse caused, which made perfect sense. Anything that could help would be greatly appreciated.
Shortly, Harry came down and into the room, looking healthier than he had the last time she had seen him, with fewer dark circles under his eyes. His hair was still a mess, but she figured that would never change. He smiled happily when he saw her, "Hermione, I'm glad to see you. Kreacher said you were here. What brings you over?"
"Well, I wanted to let you know that I found us a Healer that is happy to treat both of us and is willing to keep everything quiet. He is one of the Senior Healers at the hospital, which is a comfort. I explained everything to him and he understood things right off. Here are the potions that you need to start taking and the directions for taking them that should help with the more major issues. After a few days of taking these, send him a message and he will come to see you in secret to do a more through exam." Hermione handed him over the sheet of parchment which explained everything.
"Hermione, you are brilliant. I can never say that enough. Thank you. I can never repay you." said Harry as he picked up the paper and began to scan it.
"Coming to visit me at Hogwarts occasionally and keeping yourself out of trouble will be repayment enough. That will mean that you will be better enough to be in the outside world which would be excellent." She smiled at him and he smiled back.
"Deal. So he thinks that these will help?" Harry lifted a few of the vials so he could read the labels.
"Yes he does. I have some for me as well. We may never get completely better, if what I have read about these sorts of issues is any indication, but we can get past the worst of it and get back to having a life again."
Harry came up and hugged Hermione, resting his head on her shoulder. His voice was soft, "Thank you. Thank you so very much. And thank you for speaking to Ginny for me. I… I still can't even think of talking to her."
"She is a bit hurt about all of this but she understands. She cares about you but has let you go, knowing that you are hurting. But so is she. What helps is the fact that she has already had a year to get over you. So she is starting to move on, so don't be too surprised to hear at some point that she is dating someone else."
"Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a tosser for doing all of this to her."
"You are but you are hurting so you get some slack for that reason. Just don't make a habit out of it." Hermione said with a slight laugh.
Harry grinned and said, "Thank you for taking care of her. You are a great friend to both of us."
Hermione smiled back. This was going better than she had hoped. She then looked thoughtful as an idea occurred to her. It could really help things with Harry as it had with her. "You know, you might want to try talking to Luna about some of your worries. She has had to deal with loss as well, with her mother dying when she was young and the Malfoy's had her for a while. She might be someone you could open up to as well, who might understand a little of what you are going through. She really was helpful with me and you said she was helpful to you after Sirius died."
Harry shook his head and smirked. "Hermione Granger actually recommending that someone go to Luna Lovegood on purpose about anything. The world must be coming to an end."
Hermione smacked him lightly on the arm. "Git."
"Ron taught me well."
That got them both laughing. Hermione looked at her watch and sighed. "Right, well, I need to go rescue Ginny. She went to go get a checkup with my parents so who knows how that is going."
"She went to go see dentists? Voluntarily?" Harry was clearly confused by this development. He had been to the dentists a few times, mostly because the Dursleys had been forced into it so he was familiar with them.
"Yes, she has been staying with me for a while, to get away from the Burrow for a bit. It lets her get used to the muggle world a lot more and get away from everyone else in her family mourning Fred. This way she can mourn on her own and relax more." explained Hermione.
"That has to be fun." commented Harry.
"It has been. We have done a lot and she seems pretty fascinated with the muggle world, but not like her father. My parent's really like her and so does Perdita." replied Hermione with a smile.
"Who?" Harry clearly did not recognize the name.
"My owl." Hermione answered with a cheeky grin. "Since we haven't seen Crookshanks in a while and I have seen how useful they could be, thanks to Hedwig, I bought one in Australia while I was down there getting my parents. She is beautiful."
"I can't wait to meet her." said Harry with a pert grin, his eyes having more life in them than any time in the last year. It was a nice thing to see.
"I'll send you something soon then. And Harry, I do hope this treatment helps you enough that you can make it to the Burrow for your birthday. It really won't be the same without you." Hermione looked hopeful.
Harry just shrugged. "If this Healer really knows what he's talking about than it should work out. Besides, I think I just might take you up on that suggestion about Luna. She really is very understanding and helped out a lot after Sirius died. I guess I will plan on seeing you there?"
"Absolutely. And I will tell the Weasleys about your issues after your party, so they won't swarm you. And if you need anything else, just contact me."
"Thanks Hermione. I will. You're a lifesaver."
Hermione headed out to the back garden and disapparated to an alleyway that she had used before when she had recently traveled to her parents new dental clinic. This new office was in a nice location and actually a good bit more modern and up to date than the old one had been. They had been able to get their old house back because Hermione had cast a few spells to protect the property to a degree. It hadn't been easy and it had pushed her knowledge of spells to the limit, but it had been important to her. She was very glad she had, as she would have missed her childhood home. Being able to stay with Ginny in her old bed in her old room was special. Her parents had also been very appreciative of that as well. Another thing that had helped fix things between them.
Walking down the street to the building that housed the clinic she was thinking about how Ginny was faring with her parents. She was sure the girl was fine, but Hermione was wondering how the red head had done with the exam and all of that, and if she were able to keep from making any of the assistants question her sanity. Without any doubt she knew that Ron would never be able to pull that off. He would never really be able to blend well in muggle society because he just never seemed to want to exert the effort necessary to learn much about it. It made her so crazy all the time. Had he not been aware that that was a part of her life and always would be? But he was no longer her problem and that was actually a nice relief. Right now all she had to worry about was getting herself better. Anything else might be a bit too much to deal with.
Hermione walked into the clinic and smiled at the receptionist as she headed to the back. She went to her parents shared office first to see if Ginny was waiting in there and there the red head was, sitting there happily, reading a book. Hermione smiled at the girl and said, "So how did everything go?"
Ginny looked up in surprise and then answered with a smirk, "Really well. Apparently I have no cavities but I need to… uhm… what was that word again… floss more."
"Did they show you how to do that or is that my job?" Hermione was shaking her head. She was almost certain what the answer was going to be given her parents. Some things were rather predictable.
"They said it's your job." said Ginny, clearly amused with all of this.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine. Are you ready to go?"
"Yes." Ginny stood and headed over to her. "So what's the plan."
"Well, let's go back to my house and we'll get ready. And then I guess we can go swimming."
After they said goodbye to Hermione's parents and apparated back to the house the girls got changed into their swimsuits. Hermione had to admit that Ginny looked really good in her one piece suit. The girl's athletic body, thanks to all of her training in Quidditch, really looked toned and there was a nice balance of muscle and curves. It was difficult to look away. She felt a good bit frumpier next to the Ginny, as she knew that she did not look nearly as good in her suit. She was fit, as all the running, hiding and fighting of the last several years had ensured that, but it was nothing in comparison to the red head.
Once they were ready to go, and Hermione had hidden her scar under a variation of the disillusionment charm, Hermione said, "Right, so we are going to a nearby swimming facility. We can go to the bus stop and then it is a few stops away from here or we could walk, which should be longer. That should be fun."
"What is it going to be like?" asked Ginny, actually interested in this whole idea.
"I think I will keep it a surprise. Just don't be surprised if some boys try to chat you up." said Hermione with a smile.
Ginny looked surprised, as if that idea had never occurred to her before. "Really? You think so?"
"Remember there are a lot more muggles than witches and wizards." said Hermione. "So the odds of someone flirting with you are pretty high Gin. Besides, you look great."
Ginny grinned and winked at Hermione, standing in as sexy pose as she could manage. "Well, that's not too bad. A girl needs to get what love she can."
"Ginevra Molly Weasley!" Hermione was scandalized by the way that Ginny was acting.
The red head jumped and then glared at her. "Honestly 'mione, how can you make my name sound worse than my mother can?"
Hermione just grinned happily and walked out, whistling one of her piano pieces. They took the bus, as it would be faster and they wanted to spend more time at the pool. The two girls had fun while they were there. Hermione was able to use her ability to cast wordless and wandless magic to apply the simple sunscreen charms to them so neither girl would get burned, despite Ginny already being a bit more sun exposed than she was. Playing in the pool was fun and they both got chatted up, which was a pleasant experience for both of them. She had never really been chatted up before as only Ron had shown interest in her back at school. It was nice but it did not really do anything for her and she was not exactly sure why. It was a bit unsettling.
As they headed back to the Granger home, Hermione pondered this issue. Why would it be that flirting guys did nothing for her? It was a bit disconcerting. Was there something wrong with her? As far as she knew, she did not think there was anything wrong with her and she knew that she could tell that some boys and men were attractive. After all, she was well aware that Harry was attractive and there were male actors that were attractive as well. And honestly, if Lucius never opened his mouth and just sat there doing what he was told, he would be perfectly good eye candy. Fundamentally it came down to the fact that men or boys just never really… moved her for want of a better term. Now that she really directed some thought towards it, the only sexually or partially sexual driven dreams she had were those dreams that kept eluding her, only yielding glimpses, teasing her with hints of something deeply passionate. Even snogging with Ron was not as intense as those dreams were. This entire situation was frustrating her and she couldn't think of any way to fix it or make sense of it.
"Hermione? Are you in there?"
She started a little at the sound of Ginny's voice. "Oh, sorry, yes?"
"We're almost at our stop. Honestly, haven't you heard a thing I have been saying?" asked Ginny somewhat amused but also a bit concerned.
"I'm sorry, I was a bit distracted." admitted Hermione, a bit shamefaced by that. She did not want Ginny to think that she wasn't paying attention to her.
"Clearly. What were you thinking about? You had your serious thinking face on." said Ginny, with a slight snerk.
"My what?" said Hermione, clearly surprised by that observation as they exited the bus.
"Your serious thinking face. I have noticed that you have several different types of thinking faces, from the casual thinking to the serious thinking, with a number of variations in between. I can usually even tell what topic you are studying by the thinking face you are wearing. Haven't you ever noticed that I almost always walk up to you and ask you about the specific homework you are working on even though I might not be able to see the books you are working with?" clarified Ginny with a smile, walking backwards as she talked.
"Well, yes I had but I was sure you were noticing other things not my face." Hermione blushed at that. Had Ginny really noticed that? And did she really have different thinking faces?
"Well, those kinds of things tell me a lot, so I can be a better friend." Ginny shrugged. "You know, I never got why Ron has never picked up on some of that. I mean, really, it is just so obvious. I know Harry got some of them."
"Really?" This surprised Hermione, as Harry, while not as clueless as Ron, was not overly observant outside of the Quidditch pitch or combat. To be able to catch details like that shifted her appraisal of his general observation skills upwards several tics.
"Yes. We have talked about your thinking faces before. It was really quite funny. We both admitted that we like your Arithomancy face the best. You look so cute with your face all scrunched up and your tongue sticking out." Ginny looked upwards as if she were recalling the exact image and she smiled happily, chuckling slightly. "I think your Ancient Runes face is my next favorite."
"I am glad that I could amuse you." Hermione's voice was flat, as she was slightly annoyed.
"It wasn't like that. It was during your sixth year, when Ron was being more of a prat than usual while snogging Lavender. Harry had noticed that you were brooding but you didn't have any of your usual thinking faces on that he was aware of and that worried him. So I filled him in on what you were brooding on." explained Ginny. "He was simply trying to be a better friend to you."
"Well, he really was. I wish I had been a better friend to him that year and had listened to him about Draco. So much would have changed if we had just listened."
"Me too. I am sure we all do. We were all so caught up in our own lives that we sort of forgot about the war or tried to. Harry never did and the rest of us failed that year." Ginny sniffled some.
Hermione hugged her loosely and then let her go. "It's over and despite our mistakes we succeeded."
"But would we have lost fewer people if we hadn't been idiots?" Ginny's voice was quiet and sounded a bit shaken.
Hermione moved forward and enveloped Ginny in a hug again, holding the girl against her. "I know Gin, I miss him too."
Ginny sniffled some more and relaxed into the hug, tears starting to flow more, sniffles turning to sobs. Hermione could feel a few tears on her neck but she chose not to mention them. It was not really all that important in the long run. Besides, she was well aware that Ginny liked to look strong especially when she wasn't. It probably had something to do with dealing with her small army of brothers who would have picked on her otherwise. Right now, away from her brothers and being held in her arms, was probably one of the few times where Ginny felt like she was allowed to let that barrier down. Hermione rubbed the red head's back, trying to calm the girl and make her feel better as Ginny let her grief out.
After a while, it seemed to work. Ginny pulled away and blushed, unable to meet Hermione's eyes, as she wiped the salty trails from her face. "Sorry."
"Don't be Gin. I understand. Letting go like that would be impossible for you at the Burrow. I am here for you any time. Come on, let's go home, watch a movie, eat some ice cream and try to feel better about life. Okay?" Hermione smiled softly, her own eyes a little wet with tears. There had been so much loss and devastation at all last year that Hermione was grieving a little bit as well.
Ginny smiled faintly as she wiped the tears from her face. "Yeah, that sounds like fun. Your mom has been telling us we needed to see Romeo+Juliet, so I guess we can see that one. It sounds interesting."
Hermione grinned, pleased that Ginny sounded interested in Shakespeare. The two girls walked arm in arm towards the Granger's and Hermione said, "Deal."
Chapter 8Chapter Text
Eight
The next few weeks were enjoyable. The girls were able to do whatever they wanted, such as watching all kinds of movies, touring more of muggle London, going to one of the theme parks near London, but mostly getting to spend time with each other without the stress of school or anyone else butting in all the time as was the norm at the Burrow. It was lovely. This allowed Ginny to let down her walls more and cry her grief out and it let Hermione form a much tighter bond with her best female friend. Without the interruption of the boys at the Burrow it made that process so much easier.
That morning as they came downstairs chattering away about their plans for the day, they noticed an owl with two letters taping on the glass of the back door. Hermione went over and opened the door, plainly curious, as it was not Perdita. The owl dropped the letters into her hand and then flew off, not even bothering to wait around for an owl treat. Hermione grinned when she saw the writing on them.
Ginny was helping set the table while Mrs. Granger was cooking breakfast and was only able to see this out of the corner of her eye as Hermione walked back in. "What is that?"
"Our Hogwarts letters have arrived." She replied, handing Ginny's letter over. "Here's yours."
Hermione opened her own letter and pulled it out and something else fell out into her palm. She looked at it in surprise and her eyes widened in recognition. There was simply no way she was seeing what she was actually seeing. This had to be some sort of mistake.
"Yes! I made Quidditch Captain!" crowed Ginny, holding out her badge. "Hermione, look."
"Congratulations Ginny." said Mr. Granger as he came over to the table. "I am sure you will be great at that."
"Thank you. I will certainly try my hardest. Hermione what do you think? Hermione?" Ginny moved closer to her and looked a bit confused as Hermione was not reacting to what was being said.
Hermione meanwhile, had sat on her chair staring at the badge she held in her hand. Part of her was immensely proud of it, proud of what it represented and all the work she had done over the years to obtain it and a part of her was unsure if she even wanted this honor, as she was not even sure if she was that girl anymore. Ginny had made sure she knew the positives of the position but this was still… was this even something she wanted anymore?
Ginny looked over her shoulder and into her cupped hands and shouted again, hugging the stunned girl excitedly. "Yes! Head Girl! Yes! You are incredible Hermione!"
"Head Girl? Well done Hermione." said her father, clearly proud of his daughter's accomplishment. He smiled broadly at her. He seemed even prouder of her now than she was when she had become a Prefect.
Her mother called out from the kitchen, as she probably couldn't hear things clearly in there as she was preparing breakfast. "What was that?"
"Our daughter has been made Head Girl of Hogwarts." called out her father, raising her voice loud enough to really carry.
"Really? Oh, I am so proud of you Hermione." called out her mother.
"I'm Head Girl? Really?" Hermione was still in a bit of a daze. It really did not seem all that real to her. Sure she had been trying for this, but after the last year she had honestly given up on this dream to focus instead on far more important things, like staying alive and trying to kill a madman. Even with the badge in her hand it was hard to believe that this was real.
"Yes really. Oh Hermione, you will be absolutely brilliant at it like you are at everything else. I can't wait to tell my mother. She will be so excited for you." Ginny said, needing to hug her again. She was being overly bouncy in her excitement, reminding Hermione a little of Tigger.
"Well, we can go back to your house after breakfast if you want. That way you can let them know about all of this. It will only be a day or two early." said Hermione.
Ginny looked conflicted, biting her bottom lip in thought. Hermione started laughing, rolling her eyes at the girl. "Honestly Ginevra, do you really want to watch Romeo+Juliet again?"
"What? I like it. I have never seen anything like it before and it really is amazing. The visuals are stunning and… and… and… shut up." Ginny was blushing and looking down at the carpet, fidgeting a little. It was kind of adorable.
Hermione got up, snickering and headed in to help her mom bring in the food. She came in carrying plates of strawberry and cream crepes for her and Ginny. Once the rest of the food was there and everyone had their meals, they all tucked into their breakfasts. Ginny moaned happily when she took a bite and said, "Mrs. Granger, these are amazing. Thank you for making them. You will have to tell me how you make these some time."
Mrs. Granger smiled, cutting a piece of her own crepe covered with powdered sugar and honey butter, "Thank you Ginny. I would be happy to."
"Oh my mother would be so jealous of these." That comment got Hermione to giggle which resulted in both girls laughing for a bit. The Grangers smiled as it had been explained how much Mrs. Weasley loved to cook and feed anybody who got even remotely close to her.
Once they finished, Ginny went to Hermione's room and packed her things, looking forward to sharing her big news with the family. Hermione grinned, actually looking forward to seeing what Mrs. Weasley thought of her becoming Head Girl as well. That should be a good deal of fun. They really were a second family for her and their opinions did matter to her a lot. She hoped that they would be proud of her.
Ginny walked into the room with her bag, smiling broadly. "I guess I'll go. But can I come back to visit again before we leave for school? This was so much fun I want to do it again."
Hermione turned to look at her mother who smiled and nodded her head. Hermione grinned happily and Ginny bounced a little. This really was turning out to be an excellent summer, despite all the horror that led up to it. "How about the week between Harry and your birthday?"
"That sounds fun. I am sure Mom will be glad to have me out of the house to make her planning easier. Then I can come home and help clean the house and get everything ready." Ginny frowned a little shaking her head. "Oh well, at least I get to spend more time with you."
"Yes. It will be wonderful. I'll be back in a little bit mom." said Hermione, taking Ginny's hand.
"Okay. Be safe."
Hermione smiled and disapparated the two of them to the Burrow. Ginny and she walked into the house and Mrs. Weasley turned from where she was at the sink, clearly working on the breakfast dishes. She smiled at the girls, dried her hands and hustled over to hug her daughter first and then Hermione. "How are you girls? Did you have a good visit Ginny?"
"It was brilliant Mum. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you for letting me go. Oh, I also have some excellent news." Ginny said, rocking back and forth.
"What?" Molly seemed interested, smiling at Ginny's renewed energy.
"I got my Hogwarts letter this morning." Hermione thought that it was cute to see how Ginny was about to burst as she slowly let the news out piece by piece.
"You did? What's so excellent about that?" It was clear that Mrs. Weasley was somewhat confounded by what Ginny was saying. She looked between the two girls for an answer.
"I'm the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain." Ginny said with a broad grin.
"Oh Ginny, congratulations." Molly pulled her daughter into her arms again. "That is wonderful. I am so proud of you. Oh my little girl, Quidditch Captain."
"And guess what else?" teased Ginny.
"There's more?"
"Oh yes Mum, there is more. It seems as if our dear little Hermione here is going to be Head Girl." Ginny grinned and winked at the bushy haired girl.
Molly snapped her head over and looked at Hermione. "Is it true?"
"Yes Mrs. Weasley, I am going to be Head Girl." said Hermione with a growing grin of her own.
She got pulled into one of Molly's near bone crushing hugs. "Oh, I am so proud of both you girls. After all of this, for you… for both of you to…"
Molly turned and sat heavily at the kitchen table, tears falling. She grabbed a dishtowel and dabbed at them. Ginny rushed over, taking one of her mother's hands. "Mum what's wrong?"
"It's just that… with everything that has happened, this is finally some good news for all of us. I am happy for you girls, I really am, but it makes me think about all we have lost as well." Molly said with a sigh. "Perhaps a cup of tea will help soothe me."
"Certainly mom." Ginny went over to the stove and started working there, prepping the cup.
Hermione stood there a bit awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Nothing she had learned had prepared her to deal with this sort of thing. Molly smiled at her and stretched out a hand and said, "It's alright Hermione. I was just overcome. Take no heed of it."
Hermione took the older woman's hand and squeezed it. "Alright. I hope you feel better soon. I should be going. I told my mother I would be back soon."
"Thank you Hermione. Take care of yourself. I will see you at Harry's party won't I?" asked Molly.
"Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it for anything. Good bye Ginny."
Ginny came over and set down the cup of tea in front of her mother. She walked around the table and hugged Hermione, saying, "Thank you for a great break from things. Good bye 'mione. See you soon."
Hermione apparated home, back into her bedroom, so as not to shock her parents with the noise and her sudden appearance. She walked into the living room, calling out, "I'm home."
Her mother looked up from what she was reading and smiled, "That was certainly quick."
"I just dropped her off and we told Mrs. Weasley the news. That was all we did. There were hugs all around. She was very excited for both of us." Hermione smiled fondly as she recalled everything as she told her mother.
"Well it is exciting news. I am happy for the both of you. It was nice to have Ginny over. She is very polite and helpful and really enjoyed being here. She is certainly much nicer than Ron. I can definitely see why you really like her." Her mother went back to her reading and thus missed the effect that her comment had on her daughter.
Hermione froze when her mother said that as the last sentence ran through her brain several times, each time slightly different things in the sentence were emphasized. She really liked Ginny? Not just liked her but really liked her. Liked her so much that it was plainly obvious to others? That was what her mother said and her mother was not known for misspeaking or hyperbole of any sort. It was a fundamentally different statement than 'I can see why you like her'. That one word addition did change the implied meaning and shifted things in a very different manner. So what was her mother inferring with that particular turn of a phrase or more to the point, what was going on with her right now in reaction to this? Her reaction to this was far more extreme than she would have expected. She needed to think this through and make sense of this as it was making her a bit light headed. "Mom? I'm going upstairs for a while. Okay?"
"That's fine. Your father will be back in a little while, he went to get something from the store and then he is going to work in the garden for a bit if you wanted to help him. If you don't that's fine as well. You know how he is with his garden." Her mother did not even look up from what she was reading.
"Okay." Hermione went to her room and shut the door, closing out any possible distractions. She rested her head against the door and sighed, what was she thinking? Was she seriously considering what that sentence seemed to denote, that she might be interested in Ginny as more than just a friend all because of what her mother said? That was simply insane. She turned around and saw the bed which was still expanded. It still had the sheets they had slept on and the blankets were still slightly ruffled. They had not taken the time that morning to do more than throw the sheets and blankets up by the pillows, roughly making the bed. It still looked like it had been slept in by two.
She could feel heat rise in her cheeks and she was sure that if she looked in a mirror she would be blushing. She swallowed heavily and blinked a few times, looking out the window, a nice safe, neutral direction. Her bed was making her blush? Seriously? Was she going mental? This whole idea needed to be considered before things got any more ridiculous.
Instead of sitting on her bed, which she still couldn't look at without coloring, she sat down at her desk chair and pulled out a notebook and pen. No she needed to work this out before her thoughts just crashed. It was just insane that this train of thought was spiraling so out of control in her head. So how was she going to do this? Well if the question were simply if she were interested in Ginny in that way, wouldn't that be a yes or no question? That should be simple enough to answer… right? Or would she rather consider the possibility that she might be interested in girls in general? Or that she might simply be fixating on that elusive dream of hers and Ginny just happened to be the closest non-Ron Weasley to that image? Ugh… that last one made her sound like a bit of a tramp and that did not appeal to her.
Well, maybe part of that had some merit. That recurring dream had been driving her towards something as of late and she had woken up with soaked panties and a need for relief more than once thanks to variations of that dream playing through her head. So if she were able to work out the details of the dream and compared them to Ginny then that should be able to end this whole foolish matter right there, right? Or at least give her some degree of relief from this idea of madness. She groaned in frustration.
She wrote down the details she could most easily recall such as the red hair, the strong slender arms, the freckles, the different types of loving touches, the searing kisses, and the warmth she felt when she was with them as well as the comfort and security that their presence gave her. That was all she clearly remembered. She would have to work more if she wanted to niggle out any further particulars.
Well, the hair was clearly the right color being that it was your basic Weasley red and closer to Ginny's color than Ron's. She had to admit that thanks to her training as a Chaser, Ginny's arms were slender and strong. There really was no denying that. When she held Hermione after her nightmares she was indeed comforting and warm. Ginny really had a knack with calming her down and getting her to fall back to sleep. She also had to admit that she felt safe in Ginny's embrace. When Ginny held her she felt like nothing could ever hurt her. The redhead's touch was definitely… well maybe not loving at the moment but maybe there was something there. As for the kisses… Hermione blushed at the thought of things they had never shared. Okay, maybe this train of thought was not being as helpful in denying this idea as she had initially believed.
Directing her thoughts towards the dream, with Ginny in mind as the other person, other details became clearer and clearer, minutiae starting to pop out more, which shook her. She could see more aspects of the dreams as she thought back now over them and she was not really sure what to do. She could start to see those familiar brown eyes looking at her with lust, with love from that well known face. And then there were the known patterns of freckles on her face. Then she could see the skin, as the two of them were twined together. Then there was movement. Then there was sound and the dream ended with Ginny whispering to her, in a husky voice filled with emotion, "I love you Hermione Weasley."
Hermione practically choked when she recalled that. She felt even more light headed and she had to steady herself against the desk, as she was afraid she might fall from her chair. There was no doubt in her mind anymore. Being able to recall the dream, that dream, in such vivid detail pretty effectively nailed things down for her. If her dream was that clear upon further recall than what would it be like if she actually had the dream again? Hermione swallowed nervously and cut her eyes over to the bed. The idea was kind of terrifying, kind of titillating. What was becoming of her life? Was this a good or bad development?
Well, she did say that she wanted to change her life and not let anyone else shape what it would become. And if Ginny was who she honestly had feelings for and what she believed in, then shouldn't she actually follow up on that? But what did that actually even mean? How does even one live that way? She knew nothing about how to like girls, ask them out of dates, be a lesbian. Maybe she needed to find a place that had books on the subject? Yes, books would be good. Books could help. Books would be just the thing!
But where? She was lacking a great deal of information on this topic and that was most distressing. This was a problem that needed correcting right now.
She turned and looked at her computer. Well, like she had told Ginny, there were all sorts of sites containing information on the internet and that was what she needed most right now, information. If she was actually attracted to Ginny then she needed to figure this whole thing out before she did something stupid, like tell her. She hated looking stupid above anything else and the best way to fight against that was to go find all the information she could.
The search took a while as she fiddled with different search parameters but she eventually found an address for a store that sold books on the subject that was actually in London. That was what she most needed right now, books. They made her feel better and comforted her, gave her strength, helped her find her way when she was lost or confused. Maybe if she got the right books and the right information she could make sense of all of this, because honestly it was making her a little bit mental. Just because it happened that Ginny was the person in her dreams did that mean that she honestly wanted Ginny? No, she could not make any decisions now, not without pertinent information. There was no need to jump the gun. She had to deal with this carefully and think through this to the end.
She grabbed her things and headed to the living room, "Mom, I'm heading out for a little bit. I should be back soon."
"Okay. Be safe dear." said her mother absently.
"I will mom." She walked out to the backyard and disapparated to an alleyway close to the store she was heading towards. Hermione was nervous as she headed towards the bookstore. She was a bit embarrassed to be going in there as the name was so amazingly not subtle as to what it was about, Gay's the Word. But it promised to have the books she needed and that superseded everything at this point. She would probably have even dealt with a Death Eater if they had the information she needed, maybe even gone so far as to deal with Malfoy. That thought made her pause. Rolling her eyes at herself she had to admit she just might have a problem.
She looked through the large, full front window at all the books on display and it calmed her nerves. This was not some sort of strange den of gay iniquity, it was simply a bookshop. Despite the name it was still something she was completely familiar with. This was a known and she could easily do this. She walked inside through the blue door and she looked around the shelves, unsure exactly how to proceed. Given the breadth of her search what sort of titles was she actually searching for? There was another customer browsing the shelves but farther back and he was an older gentleman. She frowned. This would not do.
"Can I help you?" A woman in her early twenties with her blonde hair in a shag cut walked up. She was wearing a name tag reading Sharon.
"Uhm… yes. I… I am looking for some books to help me with a problem. Well not a problem but rather something new and rather unexpected. I think I might be attracted to women, well one woman, but I am not really sure if I am or not or even what I am doing and I would kind of like to figure things out. Do you have any particular titles that can help me?" stammered Hermione, her cheeks coloring more and more the longer she talked.
"It's okay, relax, no one is judging you here. We have all been there. Let me guess, you are just starting to figure all this out and it is freaking you out?" said the woman kindly.
Hermione nodded her cheeks still quite red.
"Right. Well, I think you will probably need something on coming out. That will probably help you the most right now. And perhaps you could use something on relationships, if you are interested in getting into one. If you really want lots of information I can even recommend a good book or two on Lesbian sex. There are a few more things I can suggest that might help as well, get you to relax a bit more." suggested Sharon with a salacious grin.
"That sounds good. Uhm… do you happen to have anything like Lesbianism: A History? I like to see things in as broad a context as possible. I just really need as much information as possible." Hermione fidgeted a little, slightly uncomfortable talking about this.
"Oh, you're one of those girls. Well, I'm not familiar with that particular title but there are a number of decent books on gay and lesbian history. Do you want something broad based or more focused?" she asked in a friendly manner that helped Hermione calm down even more.
"Broad based for now. I am looking for more global knowledge at the moment."
"Let me show you the shelves and the books that I would recommend. You could browse as well and see if anything else strikes your fancy."
"Thank you." The conversation calmed her down and soon Hermione was browsing shelves and collecting books. There were a few on the discovery and coming out process that she found interesting, a couple of relationship books that seemed intriguing, a fairly good sized and detailed sex book that made her eyes pop, and a couple of novels that tickled her fancy. She was enjoying herself going through the shelves and found a book on recent history that seemed interesting and one Sharon recommended on more general history of gay and lesbian culture. That was quite nice to have. This would allow her to better be able to frame things in their proper context. It was a fairly good sized collection of books.
Now her next task would be to see if there were similar books in the magical world, but how could she search for those sorts of things without drawing too much attention to herself? If there were any books with similar titles at Flourish and Blotts that covered any of these topics, if she went in and bought any of them that news would be all over the wizarding world in a manner of minutes. Everyone would know what she had done. She had no polyjuice available and she hated using illusion spells on herself. No, it seemed as if she would have to wait until she got to Hogwarts and search the library there.
The problem was she already knew most of the books that were there and did not recall any particular titles that could imply anything of the sort. She would have to ponder this. As it was, she purchased her stack of books and headed out, stuffing the books into her bag before disapparating home. There was no need to allow her mother or father to see anything that might alarm them at this stage when she was still in the data collection phase of things. No, it was better not to tell them until she had a better idea of what was going on. No need to put the cart before the horse.
She put the books into her school trunk after she had masked them with a few spells, to avoid prying eyes from reading the titles. It really wouldn't do for anyone to stumble onto them and figure things out before she was ready to tell anyone. Once those precautions were set it was time for her to sit back on her bed and start reading her first book on the whole issue of coming out from a lesbian perspective, to see if it had anything to say that would help her with this quandary.
One hundred and seventy three pages later Hermione was sure of one thing, she needed to talk to someone but also sure that she couldn't talk to her parents about this. That would really be way, way too much at this point. No she needed to talk to someone that she knew that she could have a heart to heart with that would not tell everyone and their brother her business. With that there were only two people that she could think of that fit those parameters and of those only one of them was not going to be going to classes with her in the fall. She needed to contact Fleur and see if she could talk to her. This was all so confusing that she needed a friendly shoulder to cry on and work all of this out with.
Hermione lowered her face into her hands and groaned in frustration. This whole situation was just what she needed. Her life was not complicated enough, what with everything else going on. What was she going to do about all of this?