Summary:After the war Hermione goes back to Hogwarts to finish her education but an accident with McGonagall's Time Turner sees her sent back to 1969. The people that she meets and the relationships that she builds make her believe that maybe fate does have a plan for us all.
Notes:This is the re-posting and slight editing of a story I have posted on Fanfiction.net
Chapter 1: A new perspectiveChapter TextA chilly September breeze whistled through the hallways of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as Hermione Granger wandered through them, making her way to nowhere in particular. She couldn't stop herself from scanning the sandstone walls looking for scars left behind by the battle that had raged within the building only months before. She had spent the last few months working alongside Minerva Mcgonagall rebuilding Hogwarts to her former glory. Once the reconstruction was complete most other people had rushed away from the castle, eager to distance themselves from the horrors they had encountered there during the war with Lord Voldemort. Even her own best friend Harry Potter and boyfriend Ron Weasley couldn't wait to leave, desperate to get their careers as Aurors started. For Hermione Hogwarts was the only place she could imagine being, the brunette felt as though she had unfinished business with the old building. She was sure that if she changed her mind she could walk into any job at the ministry that she wanted, her reputation as the brains of the Golden Trio preceded her. But Hermione had always treasured her education and knew that were she to leave it unfinished she would spend the rest of her life regretting it.
Although Hermione had been at Hogwarts for months the other students had only returned yesterday with classes due to begin tomorrow. The halls were filled with cheerful chatter once again, the Great Hall was rammed with bodies and the first years were scampering around getting themselves acquainted with the enchanted castle. During her first time at Hogwarts Hermione was used to wandering these halls and being ignored, she had never been the main attraction while Harry was around. But now that she was the only remaining member of the Golden Trio she could feel eyes on her everywhere and hear whispers around every corner. Right now for example she could sense the small group of first year Ravenclaws following her. The four girls had excitedly squeaked as she rounded the corner and they caught sight of her. Hermione had tried to lose them by picking up her pace and taking various random turns, but they seemed determined to stick at her heels whispering and giggling. The brunette witch thought that perhaps if she found somewhere to sit in the courtyard and read her book the first years might eventually get bored and leave her to her own thoughts.
"Hi Hermione" An excited voice called as she stepped outside into the crisp air. She turned to look for the source of the voice, finding a 4th or 5th year Hufflepuff boy she didn't recognise looking at her expectantly.
"Erm…Hi" Hermione replied tentatively with a weak smile, trying to figure out if she had ever encountered the younger boy before. "How're you?"
"I..I'm good thank you." The boy stuttered excitedly almost tripping over in his excitement to get a step closer towards her. "Are you ok?"
Hermione used all of her strength to contain her sigh as she realised she did not know this boy at all, he was just another person hassling her because she was 'famous' now. "Just fine thank you." She offered curtly before turning away from him and making her way over to one of the benches on the other side of the courtyard. The four Ravenclaw girls rushed over to the young man, even from this distance their excited chatter made its way to Hermione.
"Do you know her?" one of the girls asked in an annoyingly high pitched voice.
The Hufflepuff boy threw the girls a cocky smile. "I've seen her around the castle. When she was here, you know…before."
Another of the girls gasped before enthusiastically asking the boy. "Can you believe she spoke to you?"
"Maybe she'd talk to us if we went over to her." The annoying voiced girl said in an excited tone and all four girls huddled together and began chatting animatedly.
All of this new attention unnerved Hermione greatly; she just wanted to sit her NEWTs and be left in peace. She had done her bit for the wizarding world, she had given up a year of her life. She had spent months living out of a tent. She had been tortured at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. She had wiped her parent's memories. Was being left alone really too much to ask for? All of the eyes on her just served as a constant reminder that, although Voldemort was gone, nothing was ever going to be like it was. Hermione made a spur of the moment decision to make her escape from the courtyard now before the Ravenclaw girls plucked up enough courage to actually come over to her. Hermione quietly stood up and headed to the one place she knew would be empty.
Quickly she made her way across Hogwarts' grounds, treading a path she had walked many times over the last few months. A sense of utter relief crept into Hermione's bones as she jogged up the last few steps to the owlery and slipped through the doorway. She made her way to the back of the round room and hauled herself up on to her usual windowsill, peering through the glass at the sweeping landscape that surrounded the building. The Owelry had become her sanctuary as the months had passed; the soft hooting of the owls, rustling of feathers and haunting whisper of the wind calmed her mind in a way that nothing else could. As the summer had crept by she had begun to feel suffocated by her relationship with Ron and had sought out a place where she could just be. They had spent every single day together for months as they worked tirelessly to return Hogwarts to the beautiful building they all loved. Hermione had been excited to begin with, happy to have someone next to her at night to chase away the nightmares and relieved to have a loving family in the Weasley's after losing her parents. But as weeks became months Ron's constant closeness to her had started to frustrate her to no end. His hand was too clammy as he kept it permanently clasped around her own. He took up too much of the bed; always encroaching on Hermione's side until she almost fell out every time that she moved. He always wanted to kiss her when she was in the middle of something and looked like a puppy that had been kicked when she didn't respond with the fervour he was expecting. He didn't understand the way that she felt about things, being entirely unable to get his mind around why the brunette would want to remain at Hogwarts when the new term started. Ron wanted her to get a job in the ministry with him and for them to rent a flat in wizarding London, to get their lives together started as soon as possible. But Hermione had spent too much of her life beholden to somebody else's plan and somebody else's expectations of her. She wanted to do something for herself. She and Ron were not suited to one another and Hermione had begun to believe that their relationship may have all just been a kneejerk reaction to the confusion that surrounded the Battle of Hogwarts. She had wanted so desperately to feel grounded and to feel like she had some degree of control over just one element of her life and by kissing Ron she had taken that control. If she was brutally honest with herself she hadn't expected to survive the battle so hadn't expected to have to deal with the consequences of the kiss.
As Hermione traced the Hogwart's Express track with her eyes until it disappeared behind the towering hills she prayed to whoever was listening that her feelings would change now that she had some time away from Ron. Now that she wasn't with him 24/7 she hoped some of the excitement she had originally felt might return, because the thought of what would be left if they were to not work out terrified her. Ron had been her best friend and she knew they could not go back to that after they had been so intimate with each other. She was also acutely aware of the fact that it did not just affect the two of them; it would force Harry and Ginny to have to sit squarely in the middle of them and that was not a position she was prepared to put her best friends into.
Hermione squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the tears sting, trying desperately not to let them fall. She knew that if she started now she would never stop. Taking deep gulps of the cold air she managed to compose herself just as she heard footsteps tapping up the staircase leading to the owlery. Her sanctuary had been invaded. She turned her head to the side, looking at the doorway, ready to face her intruder head on. Hermione couldn't help the smile of relief that spread across her face when she caught the flash of blonde hair as Luna dreamily skipped into the room. If anyone could make her feel better it was the younger witch.
"Hi Luna" Hermione spoke softly to announce her presence to her friend. She was glad that the other girl had decided to return to Hogwarts this year, her warm nature was a great source of comfort to the bushy haired witch.
"Oh, hi Hermione." Luna looked her way, a worried expression in her blue eyes. "I haven't interrupted a deep thought have I? I fear I have a bad habit of doing that."
Hermione released a breathy laugh. "I think you may have. But believe me; you are doing me a favour. If I'm left alone with my own thoughts for too long I start to let them get on top of me."
Luna moved closer to Hermione, smiling a crooked smile as she leant her back against the windowsill close to the brunette's feet. The Blonde witch stood looking out at the room and Hermione could see the younger girls face in profile as her eyes danced up to the rafters of the owlery looking for creatures most could only imagine.
"They say a problem shared is a problem halved." Luna offered, giving Hermione a chance to put voice to her worries if she wished to but not demanding anything of her.
Hermione heaved a heavy breath. "I was just thinking about Ronald."
"Hmmm…yes." The blonde hummed pensively. "I have often thought you two to be an odd match."
"Luna how did you…" Hermione paused shaking her head in disbelief at the younger witch essentially being able to read her mind. She had offered such little information. "How did you know that was what I was thinking about?"
"Ron is a good person." Luna replied, ignoring Hermione's question all together. "But you need someone who challenges you, someone who matches your fire. Harry would have been a better choice, but he loves Ginny." She continued as if she was discussing the choice between having jam and marmalade on her toast.
"People underestimate you Luna, did you know that?" Hermione asked rhetorically as she let her head fall back against the window frame. She scanned the rafters herself as she allowed herself to wrap her mind around what Luna had said. She did need someone to match her, to push her and someone who would confront her. She needed a leader, someone with their own mind. But Ron was a follower. Hermione knew that if Harry had decided to stay at Hogwarts this year the ginger boy would have just done the same. He was incapable of stepping out on his own.
"I can see why you like it here so much." Luna commented in a cheery voice, breaking Hermione out of her reverie. "There are not nearly as many Nargles here as inside the castle."
"And not nearly as many prying eyes here as inside the castle." Hermione countered with a bitter tone to her voice, remembering what had driven her here in the first place.
"I have noticed people find you much more interesting lately." Luna said conversationally. "Since beating the Dark Lord."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "It would seem I'm quite the tourist attraction."
"It's a shame they couldn't see it before. I've always found you quite intriguing Hermione." Luna turned her face to look at the brunette witch and smiled.
Hermione felt some of the tension melt away thanks to the ethereal blonde. "Thank you Luna… I think." She said with a nervous laugh. "We should get back to the castle; it's almost time for dinner."
"I'll follow you down in a second. I have to send this letter to my Dad." Luna replied holding up the envelope she had been holding in her hand. "I promised I'd write to him and tell him if the staircases still moved."
Hermione stepped into the Great Hall; hoping she could blend into the crowd of students and make it to the Gryffindor table without being stopped by someone she didn't know or didn't want to talk to. Her eyes scanned the four long tables that ran the length of the grand room, her attention mostly on the table bedecked in red and gold as she looked for somebody that she knew. Finally Hermione spotted the fiery red hair of her best friend Ginny Weasley who was sat laughing with Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan. Her heart swelled with relief as she thought about how lucky she was that so many of her friends had returned to complete their 7th year alongside her. Hermione made a beeline for the group and slipped onto the bench beside Ginny, smiling as the ginger girl turned to look at her.
"Where have you been all afternoon?" Ginny questioned in a demanding tone that reminded Hermione acutely of Molly Weasley. "Please do not tell me you have been in that bloody library already. Classes haven't even started."
"Oh hi there Ginny, it's lovely to see you too. Yes I've had a fantastic afternoon thank you for asking." Hermione responded, sarcasm dripping from her every word.
Ginny threw her a patronising smile. "You didn't answer my question. Have you been in the library?"
"No, I've been in the owlery." Hermione sighed. "I needed a little bit of time to myself. It's crazy here now, people following me around like I'm some kind of celebrity."
"Well you kind of are Hermione." Dean offered with a shrug, reaching over to stab his fork into a steaming roast potato that had appeared on the platter in the middle of the table.
"It is pretty intense now that everyone is back." Neville replied with genuine sympathy in his voice. "We were lulled into a false sense of security over the summer. Everyone that stayed to fix up Hogwarts had fought in the war; we were all in the same boat." He too began piling food onto his plate.
"Things will calm down though Hermione." Ginny reassured her. "People stopped caring about who Harry was pretty quickly. And they would have forgotten about him all together if he hadn't been getting himself into trouble every five minutes."
"Yeah." Hermione laughed, remembering fondly the trio's antics in their early years at Hogwarts. In the simpler times before Voldemort had returned. "I'm sure I'll be old news by the time the quidditch season starts."
"That's the spirit" Ginny grinned bumping her shoulder playfully into her brunette friends. "Now eat something. Before Mcgonagall comes over and loads your plate for you."
Hermione's eyes automatically snapped up towards the teachers table, sure enough the headmistress's eyes were fixed solely on her. Mcgonagall knew of the younger witches concerns about coming back to Hogwarts without the support of Harry and Ron and knew that she was apprehensive about the effect her celebrity status would have. Hermione had predicted that her former professor would find excuses to check on her as much as possible. So to pacify the older woman she picked up a chicken leg from one of the platters and took a large bite, holding the rest aloft and raising her eyebrows with a smile. Mcgonagall rolled her eyes and shook her head but the ghost of a smile flashed across her features as she turned back towards Professor Flitwick, pretending she had been listening to him the whole time.
Hermione had eaten quickly so she could get back to the Gryffindor common room while the corridors were still relatively empty. She couldn't wait for classes to start; the quicker things got back to normal the better. She heaved a sigh of relief as she realised she was now painfully close to the portrait of the Fat Lady. As she was about to round the corner something stopped her in her tracks, somewhere ahead of her she could hear the unmistakable sound of people arguing. She crept closer to the corner, straining her ears as she tried to listen in to what was being said but the words were still just angry murmurs. The voices were moving closer though and Hermione began to panic a little, she didn't really want to be caught hiding and listening in to somebody else's private moment. Wasn't that what had her so on edge? People not granting her a moment to herself.
Any panic or trace of guilt quickly vanished as the one word she hoped to never hear again assaulted her ears, and it had been hissed in an all too familiar voice. "Mudblood" The word echoed through her brain. "Mudblood" it made her head spin. "Mudblood" it made her skin crawl. "Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood." It seemed to reverberate off the inside of her skull with every beat of her racing heart. The scar that Bellatrix's dagger had caused prickled on her arm, her hand inadvertently covered it before she drew her wand and strode around the corner. Finally she came face to face with the owner of that voice she had grown to hate over the years.
"Some things never change do they Malfoy?" Hermione ground out through gritted teeth. She levelled her wand at the blonde boy's chest, cursing how her hand shook with the rage that filled her veins. "You might be able to remove the Dark Mark but you can never kill the Death Eater."
Draco Malfoy looked genuinely shocked to see the bushy haired witch appear in front of him and he gulped visibly as his eyes dropped to Hermione's wand. "Now Granger, don't go doing anything you'll regret." He said slowly, trying to sound confident but his voice betrayed a slight tremor.
"And why would I regret anything I do to you after what I have just heard?" Hermione countered with a hard voice.
Draco's eyes flicked to his companion, Hermione only now registering Blaise Zabini standing slightly behind the blond boy. "Because you don't understand what you heard…"
Hermione didn't give him a chance to finish what he was about to say, she took another step towards Draco. "I don't understand?" She all but shouted. "I understand just fine. I understand that you are a disgusting, pathetic excuse for a human being who should never have been allowed to come back to this school."
"I know what you're thinking Hermione…" Draco tried but was cut off again by the brunette witch.
Hearing her first name roll off the blond boy's tongue almost made her want to throw up. "How dare you presume to know what I am thinking?" Hermione hissed, her nostrils flaring. "How dare you come here, to the only place that I have left and use that word? The word that your aunt made sure I could never forget." She pulled the sleeve of her jumper up to reveal the angry pink scar that still stood out starkly against her pale flesh.
Draco clenched his jaw and looked away from Hermione's arm. "If you want to hex me, go ahead. I'm not going to stop you. I'm not going to fight with you, not anymore." He rushed out in a broken voice.
"I want to tell you that I'm better than that. That I'm better than hexing you." Hermione almost sobbed. "But I think the part of me that was better than that died on your drawing room floor some months ago."
Hermione flicked her wand and a red jet shot from the end of it, hitting Draco square in the chest. He flew backwards several feet and his skull hit the stone floor with a sickening thud. He groaned slightly as he tried to push himself up from the floor but didn't quite manage it, blood ran from a wound on the side of his head dripping on to the floor. Hermione marched over to Draco's crumpled form and pointed her wand at him again. Draco looked up at her from where he laid, his grey eyes met Hermione's and she just had chance to see the broken look within them.
"Miss Granger, move away from Mr Malfoy this instant." A stern voice demanded from behind Hermione. Her head whipped around and her eyes took in the livid face of Professor Mcgonagall.
The headmistress swept passed Hermione and crouched down next to Draco, looking over his body for any signs of injury; other than the obvious. "Can you stand Mr Malfoy?" she asked with a clipped tone.
"I think so." Draco replied quietly as he pushed himself to his feet, reaching out for Mcgonagall's arm to steady himself for a second.
Professor Mcgonagall spun around to her other two students. "Mr Zabini, please take Draco to the Hospital Wing at once. Ask Madam Pomfrey to check him over."
"Yes Professor." Blaise nodded as he grabbed Draco's arm and led him in the direction of the school infirmary.
Mcgonagall turned blazing eyes on Hermione. "Miss Granger. With me. Now" The headmistress said in a voice that left no room for argument. The older witch spun on her heel and set off in the direction of her office while Hermione trailed behind her looking defeated.
Hermione settled herself into the chair in front of Professor Mcgonagall's desk; the headmistress sighed and shook her head as she looked at the young girl opposite her. "Miss Granger what on earth were you thinking?"
"I heard him professor. I heard him say mudblood" Hermione demanded through gritted teeth.
"And you think that is justification for attacking him?" Mcgonagall asked incredulously.
Hermione stared at her professor with an expression that would have made anyone else shy away but the headmistress just met her gaze with equal fire. "No one gets to use that word. Not anymore. Not after all of the things that people have sacrificed to rid this world of bigoted thinking like that. No one gets to say it. Especially not Draco Malfoy with all of the things that his family has done."
"I can understand why that word affects you the way that it does. But if I remember correctly, you were one of the people who spoke out in favour of the Malfoy family being pardoned." Mcgonagall pointed out.
"That was when I thought they had changed." Hermione stood up out of her chair as her anger took hold. "But people like them can never change Professor. Draco proved that this evening."
"I would not have allowed Mr Malfoy to return to this school if I did not think he had changed." The headmistress said in a measured tone. "Everyone can change Hermione. Just look at you. Before this war you would never have attacked anyone without just cause."
"But…" Hermione began, stopping short when Mcgonagall raised her hand.
"I am not finished Miss Granger." The older woman ground out. "In what context did Mr Malfoy use the word?"
"Context?" Hermione asked bewildered. "What does it matter what context he used it in?"
"Hermione, it makes all the difference in the world." Mcgonagall said gently. "If Mr Malfoy had called you a Mudblood I could understand how it would make you so angry. But if he simply used it in conversation you have hurt the boy for no reason."
Hermione scoffed. "What conversation could he be having where saying that could be justified?"
Minerva Mcgonagall observed her student over her glasses for moment, reminding Hermione distinctly of Albus Dumbledore. "Perhaps you should find out."
"And how do you suggest I do that Professor?" Hermione shot back. "Surely you aren't proposing that I seek Draco out and have a jolly little conversation with him about it."
"Certainly not Miss Granger" Mcgonagall said in a hard tone. "I would not trust you within 100 yards of Mr Malfoy."
Hermione spun around the glare at the older woman. "You don't trust me?" she asked in a voice that cracked with emotion. Professor Mcgonagall had always been her favourite teacher, her mentor and now someone she classed as a friend.
"This version of you, Hermione?" Minerva asked as she stood up too, moving around her desk to stand in front of the bushy haired girl. "I don't know the girl that I saw tonight. A girl that would gladly attack an unarmed boy. The thing that has always made you so special Hermione is your strong sense of justice and that you can see past what other people cannot. That you can see the true heart of a person."
"Professor, what if that girl is gone?" Hermione asked as tears began to slide down her cheeks. "What if I can never be the girl that I was before the war?"
"Oh my dear." The older woman sighed as she pulled Hermione into an embrace. "Of course you can never be the person that you were before the war. Experiences like that leave an indelible mark on your soul. But that does not mean that you have to lose the qualities that make you who you are."
Hermione gripped onto her professor's robes, breathing in the woman's scent and finding that it eased the aching in her chest. "I'm so angry all of the time." She admitted.
"Of course you are." Mcgonagall said, squeezing the girl tighter. "So many thoroughly unfair things have happened to you. You have been forced to grow up well before your time. You have been forced to endure things that grown adults would struggle to recover from. You have seen things that no person should have to see. You are entirely justified in feeling angry. But I think tonight you may have directed your anger at the wrong person." The older witch leant back to look at Hermione. "Draco Malfoy is not to blame for the things that Bellatrix has done."
"I know Professor." Hermione nodded as she untangled herself from Mcgonagall's arms.
Mcgonagall moved away from the younger girl and headed back around her desk. "I want you to have a better understanding of what happened tonight." She said as she pointed her wand at the top drawer of her desk and unlocked it. She slid the drawer open and took out a familiar object. "Maybe if you saw the incident from another perspective you might gain a new perspective on Mr Malfoy."
Hermione reached across the headmistress' desk and carefully took the time turner from the older woman.
Chapter 2: Time fliesNotes:(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter TextHermione stood in the middle of the headmistress' office holding the time turner in her hands; she traced the engraved words with her fingertip. 'I mark the hours, every one, Nor have I yet outrun the Sun. My use and value, unto you, Are gauged by what you have to do.' She thought about those words. What did she have to do? Did she really want to go back to her argument with Draco and find out that she had been wrong? Did she really want to find out that there had been a legitimate excuse for Draco to use that word? Did she really want to discover that she had attacked Draco for no reason and that she had let her anger get the better of her? Or would it be worse to go back and find out that she had been right the whole time? That Draco Malfoy had not changed from the entitled, pompous little git who had flung that insult at her so casually throughout their youth. If she were to find out that was the case, she wasn't sure she could spend the next year sharing the hallways of her beloved Hogwarts with him. She wasn't sure that she could attempt to forgive him another time.
Professor Mcgonagall watched her pensive student from where she sat behind her desk, she spoke softly to break her student's reverie gently. "An hour should do it I would think Miss Granger."
"Yes, I would think so." Hermione replied distractedly.
"Hermione." The older witch spoke softly, getting up and approaching the girl cautiously. "Is something the matter?"
The bushy haired witch sighed turning to face her mentor. "It feels as though whatever I find out will not put my mind at rest."
The headmistress chuckled lightly. "Ignorance is not always bliss my dear. This would eat away at you in the end and you know it."
"You're right." Hermione conceded, but she still didn't look happy.
"We need to begin this year anew. We need to have buried the animosity of this war with our dead. If we allow bad feeling and anger to carry on it will destroy us all in time." Mcgonagall said softly as she took both of the girl's hands in her own, giving them a comforting squeeze. "If this war has taught us anything it is that there is nothing more powerful than love. A wise man once said 'hate cannot drive out hate'. Do not let hatred consume you Hermione; we have seen the damage that can do."
Hermione looked down at her own hands inside the older woman's and thought about the words that had just been spoken. She had seen what festering hatred could do to a person's soul in what Lord Voldemort had become. She had seen how hatred lingered in the eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange as the woman had pinned her to the floor of Malfoy Manor. She could not bear for there to be any comparison between herself and the dark creatures that had caused so much pain and suffering within this world.
"Why are you letting me do this Professor?" Hermione asked, not looking up as she spoke.
Mcgonagall cocked her head. "What do you mean?"
"Why are you letting me go back in time?" Hermione clarified. "You have always told me how dangerous time travel can be, that there are strict rules that govern what time turners can be used for. Yet this seems such a trivial matter over which to defy those rules."
The headmistress let go of the younger witch's hands and took a step away from her, looking her up and down. "You're right; an argument between two students may be trivial in the grand scheme of things. But this is not trivial to you is it Miss Granger?"
Hermione shook her head. "I need to know whether Draco has changed. I need to know that I was not naïve to believe there was hope for a better future."
"And that is exactly why I am willing to break the rules. You deserve to know the answers to your questions Hermione. You have given up much, much more than many others that walk these halls. Sometimes the universe owes a debt." Mcgonagall said her voice betraying the emotion she tried to keep hidden.
The brunette's eyes scanned the headmistress's office and she cleared her throat. "I should leave now if I want this to work Professor."
"Quite right." Mcgonagall nodded as she swallowed thickly, all of a sudden looking conflicted. In one swift motion the older witch stepped towards Hermione and swept the girl into a tight embrace, resting her cheek on top of the girl's head. "You are so very dear to me Hermione. You have the strongest heart of anyone that I know, make sure that you follow it…always."
Hermione twisted herself around a little so she could look up at the headmistress. "Professor, is everything ok?" she asked, slightly shocked by the usually measured witch's display of affection.
"I'm fine." Mcgonagall laughed lightly as she released the younger witch from her arms. "It just feels as though, after everything we have been through, we should take any opportunity to tell those closest to us what they mean to us."
The bushy haired witch was touched by the sentiment but couldn't quite shake the feeling of confusion those words brought with them. She was only travelling back in time one hour and Mcgonagall was acting as though she was going back off on her hunt for Horcruxes. "I should leave." She repeated, unsure of what else to say.
Hermione turned her attention back to the gold trinket in her hands and carefully turned the hourglass precisely once. Just before she slipped the delicate chain of the time turner around her neck she looked up at her Professor. "I have always trusted you above everyone else Minerva."
As the older witch watched the girl disappear she couldn't control the sob that slipped from her throat. She pushed her fist to her lips as she fought to regain her composure. "Good Luck Hermione." Mcgonagall whispered to the empty room.
The older woman allowed herself a rare moment to be weak. She spent most of her life denying this side of herself but for right now she wallowed in the vulnerability. She allowed herself to cry for her student who was suffering right now and who had too much adversity still left to face. Hermione was so young and yet she carried a burden far beyond her years. Mcgonagall wished she could take some of the pressure away from the young girl, but she knew there was no chance of that now.
"Minerva, you act as if someone has died." A voice behind the older witch said softly, the hint of a smile present in their voice.
"In a sense they have." Mcgonagall replied as she turned to face the source of the voice. "A version of Hermione has gone from my life forever."
The headmistress's companion stepped out of the darkness that had shrouded her from view until now. The dim candlelight of the office revealed a bushy haired woman with a scattering of freckles across her cheeks. The woman was unmistakably an older Hermione; around thirty years older than the Hermione Granger who had disappeared into the recent past only moments ago. "Am I really such a poor substitute?" Hermione asked affectionately.
"Don't answer that Minerva. I fear this is one of those questions to which there is no correct answer." A third voice called out in warning from the other side of the room. Out of the shadows stepped a woman dressed head to toe in black, her messy black curls framed her pale face as she focused her attention on picking at her blood red nails carelessly.
Minerva chuckled lightly as she cast a quick glance over her shoulder at Bellatrix Black. "I am very glad to have you here, I just wish I could save you from some of the heart ache I know you are about to face."
Hermione stepped closer to her mentor and reached out to gently wipe the stray tears from her cheek with the pad of her thumb. "I wouldn't want you to take that heart ache away. Without it I would not have what I do now." The bushy haired witch looked across at Bellatrix who was fiddling with something she shouldn't be on the headmistress's desk. "It was all worth it in the end Minerva."
"That may be so." The older witch said softly. "I just wish that you could have achieved this contentment without all of the sacrifice."
"It is not hard to sacrifice for those that you love." Hermione said simply, smiling to herself as she thought about the people she had in her life now and how much love infiltrated every fibre of her being.
"What do we do now?" Minerva asked, her usual surety gone. "In a little over an hour, eighteen year old Hermione will be gone from this world forever. Many people will have questions, questions I'm not sure how to answer."
"She won't be gone altogether." Hermione pointed out gently. "I will be here instead and I can explain, to all those that need to know, everything that I am able to. That is all we can do."
Minerva sighed and turned her attention to the window, focusing on a nondescript point in the distance. "Do you think those boys will be able to accept that you have spent these years hiding away from the world with all of that knowledge of what was to come?"
"Perhaps not." Hermione conceded. "But as you said, they are boys. When they grow up I trust that they will understand the burden of the responsibility that I had."
"I trust that they will too." The headmistress agreed, a small smile gracing her face.
Hermione appeared to steel herself before beginning to speak. "While we are on the topic of those boys, I was wondering if I could ask a favour of you."
"Anything, Hermione. You know that." Minerva said earnestly.
"Would you be able to support me in a conversation I must have with Ronald." Hermione swallowed thickly as she was over taken by an unexpected case of nerves. "I feel as though he deserves an explanation of how Bellatrix and I ended up together. I want you to help me make him understand that he will be able to find someone who can make him truly happy. Because I never would have been able to make him happy."
Minerva let out a dry laugh. "You want me to help you break up with Mr Weasley?"
"In a sense, yes I suppose I do." The bushy haired witch said in something little over a whisper.
"And you don't think this is something that is better coming from you alone?" Minerva asked diplomatically.
Any answer Hermione was about to give was cut off by a loud clatter and a whispered curse word which came from the direction of the headmistress's desk. Bellatrix had predictably broken whatever it was that she had been playing with the last time the other women had checked on her. The black haired witch pulled out her wand and flicked it quickly over the object, repairing it to the state it had been before she had got her hands on it.
Bellatrix cleared her throat as she moved away from the older woman's desk, ending her temptation to fidget with things anymore. "I can imagine that would be a rather awkward conversation. Sorry Weasley we're done, but don't pine over me because I'm now married to your mortal enemy."
"I imagine Hermione would be able to handle the situation with more tact than you are capable of." Minerva chuckled as she made her way over to her desk to check on the object Bellatrix had been manhandling.
"You would think so Minerva. But I often found my wife to be much too blunt." Bellatrix replied nonchalantly.
"Only with you." Hermione chipped in with a scowl. "It is not my fault if you have absolutely no reading for subtlety."
"I can read subtlety darling. It's passive aggressiveness that I have the problem with." Bellatrix smirked, raising her eyebrows in a mischievous way at Hermione.
Minerva cleared her throat and put on her stern teachers expression. "I could always go and get Hermione now and ensure that she doesn't have her little horological accident. That way I could save myself the potential of spending almost thirty years listening to the two of you bickering."
"It's too late for regrets now Minerva." Bellatrix said dramatically a smirk tugging at one side of her lips. "You're chance to keep the girl here and save us all a few decades of stress has slipped away. Oh, can you imagine the peaceful existence I could have had if Hermione had not tumbled through time and into my life?"
"Yes a fantastically peaceful existence, locked up in a cell in Azkaban." Hermione countered, smacking Bellatrix playfully on the arm. "You know your life would be miserable without me. My tumble through time is the best thing that ever happened to you."
"Excuse me." The dark haired witch said, rubbing her arm as if the light smack had caused serious damage. "Aren't you the one that spends so much of their time telling our children not to hit?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, exasperated at her wife's inability to take anything seriously. "I make the rules. I don't have to follow them."
Mcgonagall chuckled lightly drawing the attention of the two younger witches. "If I had told the Hermione that just left this office that this is what her future held I think she would have cursed me on the spot." The older woman watched as Bellatrix moved closer to Hermione, slipping her arm around the brunette's waist and affectionately kissing her shoulder. "But I do wish I could tell her the happiness that is waiting for her if she is brave enough to pursue it."
Hermione reappeared, somewhat breathlessly, in the now empty office of Minerva Mcgonagall. She looked at the clock on the wall and realised the older woman would still be in the Great Hall having dinner. She wasn't sure exactly what time her altercation with Draco Malfoy had happened but she knew she had to get moving. It would be dangerous for anybody to see her and heavens forbid she miss the action after the headmistress had taken such a personal risk to allow her to come back here. Hermione tucked the time turner inside the collar of her blouse, pushed open the heavy oak door of the office and made her way down the short spiral staircase, squeezing past the stone gargoyle that marked the entrance to the room. Skirting through the shadows of the wide corridors the brunette witch rushed to the part of the castle surrounding the portrait of the Fat Lady. Luckily she knew this area like the back of her hand so quickly found an alcove where she could hide from view but still see in the direction that Malfoy had come from.
Hermione sat in her hidey hole and counted every insufferable second that slipped by, she hated being idle. So she busied herself by picking loose threads from her robe and pulling at the split ends of her bushy mane. After what felt like 3 hours, which was probably more like 10 minutes, she began to hear deep voices drifting in her direction. At first they were just dulcet murmurs but before long Hermione began to be able to make out actual words.
"I was not sulking" The sullen voice of Draco Malfoy reached her ears making Hermione groan inwardly.
Blaise Zabini snorted "Yeah right Draco, what else do you call skulking in the dungeons while everyone else enjoys a feast?"
"I don't want to be looked at like a freak show, Zabini." Hermione could tell that Draco was angry and as much as it pained her to admit it she could understand what the boy meant. Hadn't she, only earlier today, slipped off to the owlery to hide from prying eyes? "I just want to keep my head down and finish my education."
"Keep your head down?" Blaise asked incredulously. "You cannot just keep your head down and hide Draco. People will begin to think that you have done something wrong?"
"Haven't I?" Draco asked in a flat voice.
Now that the boys were closer Hermione could see their faces clearly. Blaise Zabini wore a mask of shock and anger after hearing his friend's words. Where Draco Malfoy looked broken, his cheeks were sunken and there were rings under his eyes that Hermione hadn't noticed when she had attacked him.
"Draco." Blaise said calmly, obviously trying to pacify his companion. "Do not let the fact that we lost the war get to you this much. There are still many victories to be had."
"Victories that I will not be a part of" Draco spat. "Do not be so naïve as to believe that there were winners and losers in the war Zabini. Everybody lost."
Hermione heard Zabini chuckle humourlessly. "Are you scared Malfoy?" The sudden change in the darker boy's mood made Hermione feel uneasy somehow.
"Of course I'm scared" Draco shot back, shocking both his companion and Hermione as she saw a dangerous fire flash in the blond boy's eyes. "My family just about survived the war. We are hanging on by a thread and I will not be the one that brings us crashing down to earth. Not now. Not after everything we have done."
"I thought Potter and his little friends ensured your pardon." Blaise sneered. "After your father proved himself to be the turncoat everyone always suspected him to be."
Draco tactfully ignored the jibe at his father but there was no ignoring the obvious anger in his voice. "They did. And they could just as easily ensure our undoing."
Zabini shook his head. "Those idiots are too busy at the ministry to worry about you are your family Draco. They are riding the last of their luck into high powered positions that they will never succeed at."
"Not all of them" Draco muttered.
"Don't worry about the mudblood." The dark boy said offhandedly with the trace of a smirk.
Hermione wanted to leap out of her hiding place and wipe the cocky look off of Zabini's face, but before she could even tell her legs to move Draco had the boy by the front of his robes. The blonde's face was twitching with anger as he spoke through clenched teeth. "Don't you dare use that word. Don't you dare call her mudblood."
Hermione dropped her head into her hands, she felt sick. How could she have been so stupid? She had attacked Draco when all he had been doing was defending her. She wanted to cry and hide away from what she knew was about to happen next. But she couldn't. She was the one who had acted out of hatred and fear; accusing the wrong person and doing something unforgivable. Now she was the one who had to face up to what she had done.
The bushy haired witch lifted her head just in time to see herself round the corner; the look she saw in her own eyes was one that she didn't recognise. The look was ugly and empty and it made her skin crawl. What had she become?
From this angle, hiding in her alcove, Hermione could see things she had not the first time this scene had played out. When she had pointed her wand at Draco's chest, she saw how Blaise had reached for his own wand only to be stopped by a firm hand from the blond boy on his wrist. When she roughly pulled up the sleeve of her robes to reveal the word Mudblood carved into her flesh Draco had only just managed to choke back a heave before he looked away. Clearly replaying in his mind the terrible night she had received the scar. The night when he had been forced to watch his Aunt Bellatrix torture her mercilessly.
Hermione almost threw up herself when she saw the red jet fly from the end of her wand sending Draco sprawling through the air like a rag doll. The first time around she hadn't taken a second to assess how bad the injury to the boys head had been. From here she could see how the deep plume of crimson saturated his blond hair almost instantaneously. She winced and closed her eyes briefly in shame. She hadn't noticed how when Draco tried to push himself from the floor his arms had trembled and given way under his weight. She wanted to rush to him and help him up, to look him in the eye and tell him how truly sorry she was for having acted the way that she had. But she knew that she could not. Part of her penance was to play silent voyeur to this awful scene.
It was with utter relief that Hermione saw the livid face of Minerva Mcgonagall, knowing that her suffering was about to come to an end. She watched the quick exchange between Professor Mcgonagall and the boys as Draco was sent to the hospital wing. Then she turned her attention to her past self, she wanted to scream at herself. The Hermione of a few hours ago stood with her head bowed in shame, but current Hermione knew that the shame she felt was at being seen at her worst by Mcgonagall not at what she had done. Past Hermione had no idea what shame was, it was nothing compared to the type of shame that was clawing away at her chest now as she hid in her alcove. She had attacked someone, but worse than that she had attacked someone who had not deserved it. When had she become someone who believed them self to be judge and executioner? Almost before she had time to compose herself Mcgonagall and her past self began making their way towards her hiding place. She pressed herself further into the alcove, shrinking back into the shadows to avoid being seen by either party. Despite her best efforts Professor Mcgonagall's head swivelled towards where she was lurking, throwing the murky gloom a knowing look without ever breaking stride.
After allowing herself a few minutes to compose herself Hermione eventually prised herself from the alcove and quickly made her way to the Gryffindor common room. She just wanted to curl up in her bed, cry and pretend like tonight never happened. She knew she only had that evening before the corridors of Hogwarts would be awash with gossip about what she had done to Draco Malfoy. The anxiety at the thought of it almost over took her rational mind as she felt its crushing weight on her chest.
The feeling of anxiety dissipated slightly as she crawled through the portrait hole and sighed as she was greeted by the comforting warmth of the cosy red and gold common room. Her eyes quickly scanned the area suspecting that at least some of her friends would still be awake. Hermione didn't really want to speak to any of them, particularly about what had happened tonight, but knew that it would be unavoidable without it looking suspicious. Her worst fear was realised when she spotted Ginny frantically waving at her from a couch by the fire. She reluctantly crossed the room and plonked down next to her friend.
"Hey grumpy Gus." Ginny greeted her mockingly as she saw the sullen look on Hermione's face. "I thought you would have beaten me here. You left the Great Hall almost half an hour before me."
"I popped to the library." Hermione shocked herself with the easiness of the lie. She knew that her ginger friend would not judge her for what she had done to Draco but she just wasn't ready to talk about it.
Ginny turned to her friend with an incredulous look. "You and that sodding library Hermione. Do I need to repeat myself? Classes. Have. Not. Started. Yet."
"I'm aware of that Ginny, thank you." Hermione replied sarcastically, blowing her breath out in a huff. "I guess I just wanted… to hide away a little bit." This may not have been the truth this evening but it was certainly how she felt right now. She wanted to hide away from the world. From what she had just done.
"You can't hide away Hermione." Ginny said, it was a simple comment but the words made the bushy haired witch shiver as they were almost a direct echo of those spoken by Blaise Zabini earlier. Before she could stop it her mind was replaying the images of Draco's head bouncing off the stone floor.
"I know." Hermione offered to her friend as she squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the sound of skull on stone floor echoing in her mind. "But I think I'm going to need to for a while." She knew that although many of her peers would cheer over the fact she had taken Malfoy down a peg or two, others would be horrified at her actions.
Ginny reached across and took her friends hand; the ginger witch could see the turmoil swirling in the other girls eyes. "You know you're never alone, right?"
Hermione smiled weakly. "I do Gin. And I appreciate it."
"Would you like to talk?" The younger girl asked. She wasn't sure what was bothering Hermione so much tonight but she was sure as hell not going to let her go through it alone.
"I don't think I do right now." Hermione said in a small but certain voice. "Is that ok?"
"Of course that's ok 'Mione." Ginny smiled softly at her friend, giving her hands a comforting squeeze of understanding. "Why don't you go up to the dorm and I'll hang around here for the next half an hour or so? It'll give you some time to yourself, to decompress."
Hermione sighed and fought with everything within her not to cry at her friend's kindness. Kindness she didn't feel like she deserved right now. "Ginny, I don't know what I did in a past life but it must have been something good to end up with a friend like you."
"What you did in a past life Hermione? What about all the good you have done in this one?" The younger witch chuckled affectionately, looking her friend dead in the eye. "I don't know what is going on in that wonderful mind of yours right now but remember that we're safe now and everything is ok."
The bushy haired witch knew her friend was trying to reassure her but Hermione could not help but scoff in her head at the notion of safety and normality. She did not feel safe or like everything was ok at all, she had not felt like that for even a second since the war had ended. Yes Voldemort was gone but she wasn't safe from the nightmares that plagued her most evenings. Yes the ministry was back under the control of the light but there were still people all over the country that believed wholeheartedly in what the Death Eaters had attempted to achieve. Yes she was no longer under attack but now she was the one doing the attacking because she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone. Yes she and her friends were free to live normal lives, but did she want to live the life that was laid out before her? Did she want to marry Ron, have 2.4 children, live in a house with a picket fence and work for the ministry?
The crushing anxiety crept into her chest once again as her thoughts threatened to drown her. Standing abruptly she turned to her ginger friend. "I have to go. Goodnight Ginny." With that she rushed towards her dorm not giving the other girl time to reply or adjust to Hermione's new mood.
When Hermione finally reached the sanctuary of the dorm room she slammed the door shut behind her and pressed her back to the cold wooden door. She needed something to help her feel grounded, her breathing was ragged and the bushy haired witch was pretty sure she was on the brink of a panic attack. Hermione threw her head backwards; the pain of her skull hitting the unyielding surface brought her back to reality slightly. Looking around the room, that held all of her creature comforts and reminders of the person she was before the war, she couldn't find it within herself to stop the sobs breaking free from her throat. She felt so far removed from the person she was only a year ago, the girl she had watched attack Draco Malfoy tonight was entirely unrecognisable to her. The more she thought about life as she knew it right now the harder the sobs became, her whole frame was shaking and her legs would no longer support her body weight, so she slid down the door until she was sitting on the cold floor.
As she curled her body around her knees she felt something hard dig into her chest and she remember that Mcgonagall's time turner was still hidden under her blouse. She wrenched the device from around her neck and tossed it carelessly across the room towards her bed, where it hit the mattress before promptly bouncing off the edge and landed with a tinkle on the floor. Hermione knew she should be more respectful towards her mentor's prized possession but right now she could not bring herself to care. All she could think about was the pounding in her head and the dull aching that filled her chest.
Hermione sobbed into her knees for more time than she cared to admit and would have continued to do so had she not been interrupted by the incessant pawing on her arm courtesy of Crookshanks. The half-kneazle must have had his peace disturbed by the girl's incessant sobbing and now he wanted to know what on earth was going on. Hermione reached over and scooped the giant, ginger beast into her lap and buried her face into the fur of his neck, inhaling his comforting scent and letting her tears dry in his coat.
"Hey Crooks'" Hermione whispered affectionately to her beloved pet. "Did I wake you up from your nap with my silly crying?"
The half-cat, half-kneazle looked up at her with his big orange eyes before letting out an indignant meow and turning his nose up as if to show his displeasure at being disturbed.
Hermione chuckled lightly at her pets antics. "Well, I am so very sorry sir." The bushy haired witch said her voice laced with sarcasm. "But I'm sure I can find a way to make it up to you." She added as she reached out to scratch his chin, knowing this to be his one true weakness.
At first the ginger moggy attempted to move away from her touch as if to say 'it isn't going to be that easy'. But he could only refuse Hermione's persistence for so long and was quickly purring away with his eyes closed, enjoying every second.
Once Crookshanks felt that Hermione's debt was suitably paid he stretched, yawned and lightly climbed down from her lap to busy himself with something more important. Hermione sighed and laid her head back at the door once again, she took a steadying breath and then began the task of convincing her body to move. She unfolded herself stiffly from the floor and stretched her back out, hearing a few things pop and crack back into place after having been curled up in an awkward position for far too long. Hermione walked over to the mirror to assess the damage the crying had done to her face, her skin was blotchy, her eyes were puffy and red and her lips looked swollen and cracked. In short she looked a fright. Her first thought was that she was going to have to dim the lights before Ginny came up to bed in the hopes that she could hide the worst of the damage from her friend.
Hermione spun around about to make her way over to her bed when she was stopped in her tracks by what she saw. Crookshanks was laid on his back on the floor juggling Mcgonagall's golden time turner between his large ginger paws, its delicate chain clamped firmly between his teeth.
"Crookshanks, no" the witch bellowed as she rushed across the room and dropped to her knees before attempting the wrestle the device from her pet. "You do not play with things like this" she reprimanded sternly as she untangled the last part of the chain from Crookshanks' jaws. She looked the time turner over thoroughly but save for a few ginger hairs trapped in the mechanics Hermione could see no damage. Breathing a sigh of relief she slipped the golden trinket around her neck deciding this was the safest place for it until she could return it to the headmistress tomorrow.
No sooner had the time turner settled on Hermione's chest she felt the familiar pull of the strands of time tugging at her body, dragging her back to she did not know when. The bushy haired witch began to panic, the racing backwards of time usually lasted a matter of seconds but on this occasion it showed no sign of stopping soon. As the seconds stretched on the tugging at her body began to become more insistent and more painful. It felt as though sharp claws were tearing at her flesh and something was squeezing her head as though it was attempting to crack her skull in two. She opened her mouth to scream in pain but no sound came out. She began to see black spots in her vision and she was pretty sure she was going to pass out any second. Hermione had heard the horror stories of what happened to those that mistreated time turners. How timelines could be irreparably damaged. How people could end up trapped in a time that was not their own. How time travellers bodies aged decades in a matter of days. But before Hermione could come up with anymore horrendous consequences to her accidental time jump the world realigned with a shocking jolt and she hit the hard floor with a groan.
Notes:I hope everyone enjoyed the second chapter as much as the first! When I posted this on FF the part with "future/now present" Hermione and Bellatrix was in a companion story but I decided to include it in this story instead this time around. I hope it worked, either way let me know.