Chapter 6 — Practice
The morning breeze drifted gently into my room, carrying the fresh scent of dew from outside. In the distance, birds sang their sweet melodies, their voices weaving through the quiet air like soft music.
Inside the room, I sat cross-legged on my small bed, slowly turning the pages of my book.
I had been learning this world's writing since I was born. Reading was not a problem for me anymore — except for some complicated terms that still made me pause and think.
Ohhh... is that so?
According to what was written here, children usually started feeling mana between the ages of 10 and 15. After years of practice. Years!
"Ewww..." I groaned, rubbing my face with both hands. "Is it really that difficult to learn?"
I let out a long sigh.
Well... okay. No matter what, I have to become stronger. I don't know what awaits me ahead. And this is only beginner magic — one-star spells.
According to the book, to feel mana, I needed to focus my attention on the heart, on the mind.
Hmm... focus on the heart? Focus on the mind?
I stared at the words, trying to understand.
Okay... I don't really get what that means, but I'll try. They say most children start feeling it at 10. I need to start practicing now. Do I even have talent for this? They say magical talent depends on bloodline, and something about... and... and...
"And... and... and..." I made a silly sound, pretending to be an idiot, then laughed at myself.
Alright. Focus. Try to feel it.
I closed my eyes.
Concentration. Directing my focus toward my heart.
I took a deep breath. Hmmmmm...
And slowly released it. Uhhhhffffff...
I sat like that for several minutes, completely still.
Then suddenly —
"FUCK!" I shouted in English.
"Shit!" I said the next second, then immediately relaxed. "Oh wait... no one in this world knows this language. I don't have to worry. Hehe."
I smiled to myself, then sighed again.
Nothing was working.
Nothing is working... I thought, letting out another sigh.
But then I smiled.
It's okay. I still have time. I just need to keep practicing every day. That's all.
Just then, a voice came from downstairs.
"Hey, kiddo! Come down here! Breakfast is ready!"
Mother's voice.
I jumped up immediately and ran downstairs, feeling like a real child. It was strange — in my past life, I had never felt this lightness, this joy in simple things.
What a wonderful feeling, I thought as I ran.
---
At the dining table, both my parents were already seated.
"Good morning, everyone! Father, Mother, did you sleep well?" I asked cheerfully.
Mother reached out and gently stroked my head. "Oh, what a smart son I have. Come here."
Father smiled warmly at me. "Yes, son. Did you rest well yourself?"
I looked at him and laughed. "Haa! Yes!"
He chuckled softly, then asked, "So... how is your practice going?"
I put my index finger on my chin and thought for a moment.
"Well... it's going well," I started, then shook my head. "Actually, no, it's not. I don't understand what 'focusing on the heart' really means. What exactly am I supposed to focus on?"
Father paused for a moment, then said, "After you finish eating, I'll explain it to you."
I nodded eagerly and quickly finished my breakfast. When I was done, I stared at him with expectant eyes.
He laughed. "I said after you finish eating, not immediately after. Relax, son."
He was joking. I knew it. But I still laughed.
He finished his meal slowly, and I waited patiently.
Finally, he put down his utensils and began.
"HP — it's about focusing on yourself. In short."
I tilted my head. "Can you be more specific?"
He nodded. "Focusing on the heart means carefully observing your inner feelings, your thoughts, and your energy. Watching them without judgment. Understanding them."
I thought about his words for a moment.
Inner feelings. Thoughts. Energy. Watching without judgment.
"Thank you, Father!" I jumped up and hugged him tightly. Then I turned to Mother. "Thank you for the meal, Mother!"
I ran upstairs, leaving them both laughing behind me.
"Our son is very smart," I heard Father say.
Mother's voice followed, soft and warm: "And one day, he'll be a wonderful big brother too."
---
Back in my room, I sat down again.
Self-awareness. Perception. Feelings. Inner energy.
Observe everything. Analyze everything. Organize thoughts.
I closed my eyes and began.
Day after day, I practiced. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, weeks into months.
Three months passed.
I was still practicing, still trying, still failing.
Then one day —
Wait...
Something shifted inside me.
A warmth. A gentle vibration. A feeling I had never experienced before.
"Wow..." I whispered, eyes still closed. "It's... it's working?"
I felt a small smile spread across my face.
It's working. Finally, it's working!
I wanted to shout, to run, to tell everyone. But I held myself still and continued.
---
Another nine months passed.
I woke up one morning, stretched, and yawned.
"Ohhh... just another day," I mumbled to myself.
I went downstairs for breakfast. The moment I entered the kitchen, both my parents turned to me with warm smiles.
"Happy birthday, son!" they said together.
I blinked.
Oh. Right. It's my birthday.
Father knelt down and looked at me with pride in his eyes. "Son, you work tirelessly every single day. I am so proud of you."
Mother leaned in close, her lips brushing against my ear as she whispered, "Happy birthday, my precious boy. You know... you're going to be a big brother."
Her words hung in the air for a moment, soft as morning mist, warm as the embrace that followed.
I froze.
A big brother?
My heart skipped a beat. Then another. Then it started racing.
A big brother...
I looked at Mother's face — at the gentle smile playing on her lips, at the light in her eyes that held something new, something secret, something beautiful.
Then I looked at Father. He was smiling too, watching me with that quiet pride of his, waiting for my reaction.
I didn't know what to say. For the first time in a long time — in this life or the last — words failed me.
So I did the only thing I could.
I hugged them both. Tight. So tight I could feel their heartbeats mingling with mine.
"I love you both," I whispered into the space between them. "So much."
Father laughed softly and patted my back. Mother kissed the top of my head.
And in that moment, standing there in the warm kitchen with the morning light streaming through the window, I felt something I hadn't felt in two lifetimes.
Hope.
Not the desperate kind I used to cling to in the orphanage. Not the calculated kind I used to manipulate in politics. Not the fierce kind that drove me to war as the God of Catastrophe.
Just... hope. Pure and simple and warm.
A big brother.
I smiled.
I'm going to be a big brother.
---
The next morning
Another day. Another practice session.
I sat on my bed, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.
Today, I will focus on every feeling, every sensation.
Deep breath in.
Slow breath out.
Continue.
Observing emotions. Connecting with the body. Visualization. Meditation. Looking into the heart.
Minutes passed. Maybe hours. I lost track of time.
Then —
There.
A warmth spread through my chest.
Gentle. Soft. Like sunlight filtering through water.
This is it.
The flow. The lightness. The energy.
I could feel it moving inside me — slow at first, like a small stream, then stronger, warmer, more alive.
I didn't open my eyes. I didn't want to break the moment.
I just sat there, feeling the mana flow through me for the first time.
Tears formed behind my closed eyelids.
Finally.
After more than a year of practice... finally.
I didn't shout. I didn't celebrate.
I simply smiled.
Because this was just the beginning.
And I had a long, long way to go.
And somewhere downstairs, my mother was carrying a new life. A new heartbeat. A new reason to fight.
I opened my eyes and looked out the window at the rising sun.
I'll protect them both, I promised silently. This family. This new life. This second chance.
I won't fail this time.
The mana continued to flow inside me, warm and steady.
And for the first time in two lifetimes, I felt at peace.