Chloe was on a roll now, and the more Alaric tried to look like a stoic statue, the more she treated him like her personal stand-up comedy audience.
"Oh, and the best part?" Chloe cackled, nearly tipping over in his expensive guest chair. "She's convinced you have a skincare routine that takes longer than the actual seminar. She told me she once saw you in the library and your forehead was so smooth she could see her own reflection in it. She called it 'The Great Glacial Reflective Surface.'"
Alaric's hand instinctively went to his forehead, then he froze, realizing he'd just fallen for it. "My skin is... naturally clear. It's a matter of hygiene, not vanity."
"Sure, Jan," Chloe snorted, waving a dismissive hand. "She also thinks you've never eaten a carb in your life. She told Adrian she bet a twenty-dollar bill that you actually photosynthesize like a veryexpensive, very grumpy houseplant. She said-and I quote-'I've never seen Alaric chew. I think he just absorbs sunlight and superiority."
Alaric's brow arched so high it was practically in his hairline. "I eat. I had a very efficient protein bowl at noon."
"See! 'Efficient protein bowl!" Chloe shouted, pointing a finger at him. "That is exactly why she calls you the Human Calculator. She told Adrian that if she ever tripped and fell, you wouldn't catch her-you'd just stand there and calculate the velocity of her impact and then critique her form on the way down."
She leaned in, her eyes dancing. "But then, right after she said that, she got all quiet and muttered, 'But at least his shoes are always tied. Unlike some people,' and she glared at Adrian's untied sneaker. She's literally grading your rivalry, Alaric. You're winning on footwear, but losing on 'human warmth' by a landslide."
And the best part is..I was about to say something but some knocks at the door