What is love?, to do impossible for it.
(Tune in—I kiss you but won't love you, hannah gray)
Shibuya...
Neon lights flicker onto the night streets of Tokyo.
"Oh I think I'm here. I think so. Hanabi said. I've should find out from the music, but I don't hear anything... Is it in front of this building? Okay... I think I already saw it. She looked up ahead from her phone, I don't know know exactly is it that place or not, just where the hell, Mai and others are?"
"There is that the building." She looked at the sign seems so, Club Aragon... Than her gaze goes at the Reze, leaning against the wall outside the club waiting for someone. "It's Reze senpai, should I go and say Hi to her? Who is she waiting for tho?"
"Huh. Sen–kai, Yoshimura Senkai. "Why is he meeting with the senpai? And late at night on top of it."
Wait, wait I have to follow them to find out?" I'm getting very nervous... Let's hide here." She saw both of them going inside. "Huh waittt are those two going in there too? Hm.. I didn't follow them I was just going to the same place as them."
Her extremely looked interested face. "I'm not following them, because I'm curious it's just that... I'll happen to have a date at that same exact place too."
Following them she walked ahead than. "Oops, they might see me so, it's be better to go after a bit...!
———
Inside the private room of the club.
Today I had a meetup with the friends. I came across two people from my club I know, they are having a secret meeting. And so it happens that those two are having the secret meeting right in the next room. And what kind of relationship thay had between those two. She thought, while putting her ear onto the walls of the room.
"Heyyy, seriously what nonsense are you doing Mai said? "Haha, other friend of her say's "don't mind. Excuse her, sometimes she's weird."
The boys laugh, "it's all right...
Than she continued. And today I will discover the truth, of this bastard junior of mine, Senkai Yoshimura.
———
Than Inside the other room.
The room was pretty luxurious, quiet, the sound proof walls, a tv, and low couch against the side dimmer lights."
... Senkai he sat onto the couch, Reading around the room, conspicuously. His eyes went left–to right of the room. "Hey..! why the hell did you sit so far away from me!?" I can't see anyone else?"
Than while rearranging her hair's strands back, and playing with them in nervousness. in a low voice she said. "Ok, i'm sorry I lied to you, when I message you that the rest were also coming to eat..."
"..."I, ...I just felt lonely. Than her voice back to her normal sweet tone. "So, you hate me just because I wanted to see the face of my dear junior? And you quickly left in the morning, so I just thought."
He stared at her. His face unreadable again, "if you wanted me to come, you just had to tell me, why lie to me, that there were other people coming?" Her ear went red, "I just thought that. You wouldn't come."
Eh?" Than fine she said. "I just thought you wouldn't come If i said to meet just the two of us! That's why I lied to you! Happy."
"Oh, I see you are being very honest! Good, I like it, ... And how did you know I wouldn't be coming?" He said.
Switched in Chinese, her voice annoyed she said. "Cuz I knew from the way you were acting in the morning." Back to Japanese. "Since we are here why not start, since I took you time order what ever you like." she said. while taking a sip of her beer.
"Did you just get angry? He asked. Because I laughed?"
"Aruhh! By scaring to hit him by the beer bottle. She said. "Should I show you, what's it is to be angery." "Ok, okay, I've get it, forgive me!
She put the beer glass down at the table, Hump. "come and sit down at my side." She Pointed her eyes at the empty space. "Yes... He said. Getting up than sitting beside her. "So for you to come by my side I needed to use violence. Than, "Heyy ...do you know why I told you come here?"
"Huh. He looked at her, "I have no I idea, why would I know what's going in your head." A pause than she said. "You why do you look so calm as if nothing had happened? In front of the women you confessed to and had sex with?"
She studied him carefully. "You're being cold."
He didn't react immediately. Just tilted his head slightly. "I am?", "Yes." she short back. "No." He said, calmly. "I'm being especially normal I believe." That irritated her more than she expected.
She gets closer. "Last night," she said quietly. "You weren't normal." He held her gaze. "Neither were you." He said.
The air shifted. She closed in stopped at an arm's length away from him. Close enough to test. But not touching. "You left quickly after class," she continued. "Without looking at me."
"That's what people do after an class ends. "You didn't answer my question? She said. "You didn't ask one." He said. Her eyes sharpened, and He was deflecting it, "not avoiding. Not flustered, but controlled. She leaned in closer still. "You think I'm playing with you. " No. "I think you like controlling the pace," he replied evenly.
A small silence.
She reached up — slowly meeting his gaze— she closes in to his neck as she said. adjusting the collar of his shirt as if something invisible bothered her, fingers brushing fabric, then his skin. He didn't move. But his breathing changed, "Does this feel like control?" she asked softly. Her voice lowered, Intentional, Measured as always.
He watched her. "You're testing something." He said. "And?, "And I don't like being an damn experiment." He said. Than for the first time, something flickered across her face.
Maybe Annoyance? Or a surprise?
She moved even closer, their proximity now impossible to ignore. "You kissed me," she reminded him. "You were the one who seduce me, and leaned in first.", "You told me to walk toward you." she short back. "And somewhere you did. He replied back evenly, your being is here is the prove of it.
Silence thickened between them.
"She leaned back a bit, Sigh..." Then she said it— "You don't actually like me Senaki.
"His expression hardened slightly. What? "You're just attracted to me," she continued calmly. "And that's different." And "That's your conclusion?" He asked.
"Yes." She stepped back half a step as she now sat at the other corner of the couch she said, picking her drink up again.
While sipping it she says "You don't want me emotionally senkai. You just want the idea of me." you might just want me as a thing maybe to show off to your friends, or just to ease your introvertness, or loneliness. Cuz most people who wanted me are like that, they just don't understand it, they misstook it for the feelings, I just don't want you to do that Senkai."
He stood up slowly now, and "You talk like you're certain." cuz "I am, she said.
"And what if it's not like that, and I'm not like that?" what if I don't just want you because of something like that, but just to love you."
Love, She held his gaze. "Just what is love?" Huh. Tell me Senkai." He paused for a moment. "Don't know." He said. As he sat back, "But I believe it's something that you might even be willing and ready to do the impossible for."
A near silence.
"Then prove it." she said.
A challenge.
Always a challenge.
She puts the empty glass down than move toward him, than she said, crossing one leg over the other. "Ready to do impossible for." You said.
Fine than "If you're still confused about you feelings," she said lightly, "we can make it simple." Let's be Sex partners.
He didn't like the direction this was going. "You think this is just physical?" He said. "No she said, but, "treat it as physical."
He frowned faintly. "What are you suggesting?"
She met his eyes directly, simple, "No emotions. No drama. No pretending." Her tone stayed smooth. "We figure it out without pretending that if it's love or not."
The implication hung in the room. His jaw tightened. "And you think that's clarity?"
"I think that's more honest." she said.
He let out a quiet breath through his nose.
"You're running away Reze," he said meeting her eyes. Her eyes narrowed. "From what?" "From the possibility that it's not just physical and that you like me enough to seduce me twice."
That somewhere hit. But She masked it quickly.
"You're overestimating yourself. "And you're underestimating your own feelings, I believe."
A sharp silence stood in the room.
She again, leaned toward him again, stopping inches away from his lips."If I kiss you right now," she said softly, "would you stop me?" He looked down at her, the tension between them was undeniable. "But he didn't lean in. "I wouldn't stop you if you did," he said.
A flicker of victory sparked in her eyes. "—but I wouldn't respond either." and that extinguished it. The rejection wasn't loud, It was steady, and Grounded, and that unsettled her more than if he had pushed her away that moment. "You think you're above this?" she asked quietly. "No," he said. "I just don't want something that's half ass.
"Her lips parted slightly. He continued. "If you're confused about your feelings. That's fine. But don't reduce it to something convenient like that."
She laughed once — but there was no humor in it. "You're naïve. "Maybe he said, but least I'm not uncaring."
That word landed. "Uncaring."
She searched his face for something impulsive. Something reckless, But he was steady. "I'm not cold," he said more quietly. "I'm just careful about this thing we have, about you and everything we went through."
The room felt smaller suddenly for a moment just for a moment, A beat in her heart.
She looked away, she hadn't expected him to reject the offer, but She had expected desire, She had expected him to lose control. But
Instead—
He chose distance, And that bruised her pride more than she anticipated. "You're scared," she said finally. "Of what?" he said. "Of wanting me.
He leaned back slightly. "No," he said calmly. "I'm scared of wanting something real from someone who treats it like a rehearsal."
That the words of his silenced her completely.
The words weren't cruel. But they were honest, and honesty — she had asked for that, hadn't she? The Glass on the room reflected them sitting beside each other now. "Not touching, "Not acting. But just two people sitting in a room that was meant for pretending.
He got up, grabbed his bag. "We should have dinner some next time" he said. "When we're not arguing about the things we both won't admit."
He walked to the door, before opening door he paused. Without turning back— "I don't just lust after you, Reze or look at you like the other guys do."
Then he left, The door clicked shut, and for the first time in a long while—
Reze sat alone in a Club room… thinking, about the His words, "Love she said?"
She realized something sitting alone drinking, thinking that night, that she had lost control of this narrative relating to Yoshimura Senkai ages ago.
———
College canteen.
Saturday...
Hanabi sat with the dark circles in the eyes. Yui asked. "What happened to you Senpai?" Nothing she said. "I was just trying to.. Than she "sight... forget it." Rina says "remember the newbie and the president." Hm.. What about them. She continued quietly. "I heard Rya and Reze senpai talking... In the club room about Reze senpai's one night it's seems to be a junior this time."
Hanabi shouted, getting up quick. "What?" Than She looked around as if to make sure as if no one else is listening. "They seems to have a one night after the freshmen welcome party." What? Hanabi said without thinking. 'This is why they were meeting alone at night, if i am not wrong. Oops.." She said, putting hand at her mouth.
"Hanabi what do you know tell us." Asuza said. Nothing much.. "I just saw the senkai and Reze senpai meeting together last night... I'll was curious so, I was waiting last night to caught them. But at last Reze senpai came out alone."
"Hm.. Asuza says seems like Reze senpai, she has got the new target." Target?" Senna asked."
And Yui her face didn't seem right but she didn't said much. "Oh you don't know, Ah right you are a fresh man too, I forgot. Just don't tell anyone one else outside of club. If you don't want your life turn to ruin and ashs... But Reze Senpai... Is dangerous... There are rumors about her that she toys with the Hearts of our innocent boys of the college, Right Yui." Hm... She nodded.
Senna sudden remember her back than, after the play of orientation day. How she called it even with the bag of a luxury clothes. "she is mean." Than she muttered "don't know but she seems to hate me."
"I'm mean we don't know what goes in her head. Rina said... But let's not talk about our senior like this behind her back girl's..." Hey did you forget, you were one who started it Asuza said. "Oh.. did I...
Yui says I need to go... see ya senpai's, Senna...
———
Corridor of the architecture department.
After the college, corridor was a lot quieter now. Students drifted away in small groups, laughter fading down the stairs. "Senkai, He turned, Yui stood near the window, one hand resting on her bag strap, her expression wasn't sharp. It wasn't defensive, but It was steady.
"You got a minute there?" she asked.
He nodded, than he excused himself form the seniors and came through wards her. "Remember I said I have something to told you before. He hummed hm... than, "Yeah. "I believe I should tell that to you naw as fast as I could."
"Sure, If it's really that important." He said. They moved a little aside, out of the main flow of people. Than stood at a quiet corner. She didn't rush her words, carefully she said. See.. "I'm not here to gossip," she said first. "And nor I have some personal Jealously through wards Senpai."
"What you say?" She continued. "I know. I might sound like I hate her something but I want to be clear." Her tone was calm — almost practical. "You're getting closer to the Reze Senapi, Right?"
He didn't confirm it. Didn't deny it either. Instead So? He said. Yui exhaled softly, "Then I'm going to say this as your friend." He waited. "You can't handle a women like her. You're not built for the messy attachments."
That made him glance at her properly. "What does that mean?" I know you are not like that, even though you show, you don't care, you help people's out, you are nice, "You don't have that wide of a circle," she continued. "You don't ask anything in return. You don't jump between people's either, than her voice slow. And, when you give someone attention, it's whole hearted, and deliberate. "If you attach to someone. it won't be halfass I know."
He didn't argue back. "You don't let people in easily either," she added. I know, So when you do… it matters a lot."
Her words weren't dramatic, but they were observant. He said quietly, "I used to think I am the one who unusually read the room, but all this while... seems like you were the one who was observing me."
Than glanced at her. "And?" he said. "And Reze is not halfass either," Senkai. she continued. Her voice lower now, "She had someone before, do you know that," Yui said after a pause. "Lemon, Lemon kanawa. He is our fifth year business department senior."
The name settled quietly between them. "I know he said, She had told me once.", "You shouldn't get too close to Reze Senpai," she said finally.
He sighed lightly. "You too?" She short back, "No this isn't like that.", "Like what?" he asked.
I know him. "He was her boyfriend," Yui continued. "They were serious, at least she was. I know that much for sure." There was no accusation in her tone now. "But Just concern.
He asked "And? "He rejected her," Yui added, and it messed her up more than the people think."
Senkai listened quietly, His expression remained neutral. "It hit her harder than people think," Yui said. She doesn't show it. But after that… she changed. She wasn't always like this," Yui continued. "she used to be softer, gentler, and more open, but After that… "People change," he said. "Yes," she agreed. "But not always in nicest and healthier ways."
She leaned back against the wall. He was looking out the window. "After Lemon senpai, she stopped trusting. She gets close to guys, but it's never serious. She started controlling everything around herself. As If whenever she feels like it's getting real, or them getting attached, she pulls away. Than she turns it into something lighter, or colder."
She looked out the window for a second before continuing. He understood that more than he let on. "She's not a villain," Yui clarified. "But she's unresolved. and "In your case," Yui continued, "that's dangerous."
"Why me specifically?" he said. "Because you're not built for the casual damage." Her words were blunt, But gentle. He tilted his head slightly. "Unresolved how?"
"She doesn't fully let go of him. Not emotionally." He didn't interrupt. "There are rumors," Yui admitted. "Rumors," he repeated. Which kind?"
That She toys with people's hearts, hook them up, uses them, than she drops them. "I'm not saying every story is true," she said evenly. "But patterns exist for a reason. "Sometimes she uses the attention to prove something to herself, "Yui added. "And the guys who get involved they just think they're special. Then they realize they were just a part of the distraction."
And you think I'll be one of them." He said?" She hesitated." I think you'll fall even harder. The honesty in her voice was disarming. "And you don't want that for me," he said. "No. She said quick. "Why?" She gave him a look, "Because you're my friend." It wasn't dramatic, It wasn't romantic, It was simple. "You don't let people in easily," she continued. "If you let her in and she walks away? You'll close up even more I know that."
He looked down briefly cuz he knew she wasn't entirely wrong. "But you're assuming that she will," he said calmly. "I'm just assuming based on patterns." He leaned against the opposite wall. "Lemon might be her past," he thought in mind after a moment. "And if I want her in my future, I can't pretend she didn't have one."
Yui frowned slightly. "You look too calm about this." "I'm thinking." he said. "That's what worries me more," she said softly. "When you decide on something, you don't back out just like back than in the highschool."
He didn't deny it. "You're not curious?" he asked her. "About what?" He continued. "About what he did to her? That why she changed so much?"
Her eyes shifted slightly. "I am." but... Than she thought looking at his face. There it was. Senkai his stupid, "curiosity, "no jealousy, nor anger but Just a quiet interest.
———
"I don't want you getting involved with someone like her." I warned you. "Lemon," he said. "Yes Yui said. "She still loves him? "I don't know," Yui admitted honestly. "But I know she hasn't got over him, nor erased him."
That honesty mattered. Instead, he asked, "Why tell me this? Now. "because i'm worried. She said. I'm not trying to control your choices," she added. "I just don't want you walking into something blind."
And her "She is dangerous stay away from her... Your curiosity is fine and all, but make sure not to fall for her." But little did she knew he had already confessed to her and got short down.
He leaned lightly against the wall. "And if I'm not blind?" She studied him. "Are you?"
He thought about Reze's guarded tone. Her need to define everything as physical. The crack in her composure when he didn't chase. "I'm really curious," he admitted. "Curious about her?", "Yes.
"Or about her and Lemon?" She asked just to confirm her doubt. That made him glance at her again. "Both." he said.
Than she nodded slowly. "If you want to know her and his story she said. "Then understand what you're signing up for." He didn't flinch at that phrasing. "What does that mean? "Get ready for a punch from lemon senpai. in your face."
What? He said. Where did that come from?" She continued. "You don't know he hit very hard, Watchout."
Than he thought quietly, she was different before Lemon, more open, less guarded. "Huh. I now really wish to see how she was before, not the gray her, but the colourful her.
He slipped his hands into his pockets. "If I want her," he said calmly in his head, " Than I have to accept that she loved someone else first. "I don't have to replace Lemon," he said quietly. "I want to understand what happened first."
Yui says "I just don't want you breaking over someone who doesn't know how to stay yet," He gave a faint, thoughtful smile. He thought, maybe she'll learn. "And if she doesn't? "Then I'll accept that too and stay with her myself.
She studied him for a long second. "You always decide things quietly," she said. "And?" just what are you thinking?"
But she didn't knew once he had decided something he don't half-ass, "stuff. "Thanks, for the warning." He said.
She blinked slightly. "For what?" He looked toward the theatre building in the distance. If Lemon was part of her—then so be it. I wasn't interested in a version of Reze that erased her scars.
If he wanted her to be his — He would have to accept every chapter before him. Not to rewrite them. But so he could Open the chapters where he never was there, so he could continue writing his story with her from there, a fresh new start.
And this time—
He meant it.
He knew he had to do impossible for her make her fall in love with him.
———
To be continue...