[Hyde POV]
In the basement, I hung out alone as Fez went back home, Eric went out with Donna, and Kelso went somewhere with his van.
"This sucks." I turned off the TV and sighed. Now that I was single, I didn't have anything to do at night.
I stood up, wanting to go to a bar when Fez came back to the basement.
"Huh? Fez? I thought you went back home to cry?"
"I was until Kelso called me and asked me to come here." Fez replied easily. "Where are you going?"
"To a bar. Maybe pick up some chicks. I can't spend my Saturday night doing nothing."
Fez grinned and said, "I'll come with you."
"Sure." I replied easily. I went to my bedroom to pick up my wallet and keys. Suddenly, I realized that the episodes were recording again.
I checked on the synopsis and laughed immediately as I read the first line.
'Eric and Donna were caught having sex in the Vista Cruiser and were sent back home by the police.'
I kinda wanted to barge in and watch the whole thing, but Kelso suddenly entered the basement.
"Hey, want to see something cool?" He asked giddily.
"Sure." I replied without thinking too much about it. I could always screw with Forman later.
Kelso got in his van first and showed me what he had installed.
"Oh, a CB radio!" I said with amusement as I entered his van. Fez entered through the back and sat in between us, on the hump slightly behind the driver's seat.
"Did you buy it at Radioshack?" I asked.
"Yeah." Kelso laughed excitedly.
"You should've told me. I get a 20% discount there." I said as I picked up the microphone.
"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Kelso asked me angrily.
"You never asked." I said casually. "How does this work?"
"We'll do a quick scan, then we'll find some hot chicks. Talk to them. Get them to put out." Kelso replied with a moronic grin.
Basically it was an olden day tinder. It makes things easier for people who lived in small towns and had limited options.
I looked at him with disbelief. "So, you don't think Jackie, Laurie, and the girl from Scared Heart is enough?"
Kelso's face froze. "Wait. You know about Delilah?"
"You know I'm tight with the cafe staff, yet you still brought her to D.G to make out." I shrugged.
Kelso's frozen face slowly turned into a grin. "Yeah, she's a great kisser."
Fez got angrily and interjected, "What the hell are you guys talking about? Why don't I know anything about it? Are you keeping things from me now?"
I smirked and said, "Fez. I tried, but every time I wanted to tell you, you were sucking face with Patty."
Fez immediately deflated as he heard her name. His first breakup was really getting to him– even though they only dated for 3 days.
"So what's your CB handle?" I asked Kelso to change the subject.
"Yeah, so I have narrowed down my potential CB handles to two choices. Either Stud Kickass or Flex BuffChest.
I said sarcastically, "Gee Kelso, what about Beef Dingleberry?"
Kelso realized it was sarcasm, but the suggestion was too good to pass up.
"Great, now I've got three choices…"
The radio crackled, and a feminine voice entered the channel. " Breaker 1-9, Breaker 1-9, this is Hot-To-Trot," The voice changed to another girly voice, "Foxy-Lady", "and Nice-And-Easy...:"
Fez grinned widely, " Oh my God, they sound nice!"
I laughed, " And easy!"
Kelso laughed before urging us with his hand, Quick, come on we need handles so we can talk to 'em."
I thought urgently and said, "Okay uh OH OH we'll be the ModSquad!"
"That's perfect, I'm Linc."
I grimaced at him, "I'M Linc!"
"Why do you get to be Linc?" He complained.
I pointed at my hair, " The magic 'fro baby!"
"Okay...I've got dibs on Pete." Kelso changed his choices.
"Okay, then what is my macho cop-handle?" Fez asked.
Kelso and I exchanged glances and laughed. We said in unison, "Julie!"
Kelso picked up the microphone and began to talk, "Breaker 1-9, Breaker 1-9, this is Pete…" He gave the mic to me, " I'm Linc."
"And Julie. It is so nice to talk to you my lovelies." Fez replied suavely.
Hot to trot said, "Hey Julie, cool accent! You sound sexy."
"Accent? What the hell is she talking about?" Fez asked in confusion.
I laughed and said, "Who cares? She called you sexy."
"Right." Fez widened his eyes and quickly said to the microphone, "You like my accent? You should hear how I kiss."
"Fez!" Kelso grabbed the microphone from him quickly and talked to the girls, "So girls. What are you wearing?"
"What?" Hot-to-Trot was annoyed.
"So what about you, Linc? You think you're not as handsome?"
I shrugged slightly.
"I do alright," I said. "But Pete's the one you should be worried about."
Kelso blinked. "Wait—what?" He thought I was screwing with him so he tried to grab the mic. I pushed his hand away.
"He's got that magazine face," I added casually. "Real unfair to the rest of us."
Kelso straightened immediately, chest puffing up and laughed.
"…Yeah. Yeah, I do." He said to himself.
Fez frowned. "What about me?"
I didn't even look at him. "You're mysterious."
Fez nodded seriously. "I am mysterious."
Nice-And-Easy laughed and said, "You guys are a riot."
I laughed and said, "So. Nice-and-Easy, want to play a game to get to know each other better?"
"What kind of game?" She asked curiously.
"I'll give you three facts about me. One of them is a lie, two of them are the truth. You need to figure out which one's the lie." I added. "We'll all play.."
"That's really interesting. We're on." Hot-to-Trot giggled.
"Hyde. Stop hogging the mic." Kelso got mad at me.
"You want to ask them what they are wearing again?" I tried to give him the microphone, but Fez interjected. "What are you doing man? He's doing this for all of us!"
"Fine!" Kelso sulked.
"Linc. We're waiting." Foxy Lady interjected.
I laughed and pressed the communicator again, "Okay. So first one. I have luscious straight black hair. Second, I photograph models for flyers. Third, I have a Chevelle."
"Hmm." Hot-to-Trot thought about it and said, "Well. Chevelle is quite nice. So I guess that's a truth. I think… it's the second one. You photograph models."
"Is that your final answer?"
"No. Wait." Foxy Lady interjected. "I think it's the Chevelle. You might say it's an El Camino."
"I think it's the first one. Who talks about their own hair like that." Nice and Easy interjected.
"The winner is. Miss Nice and Easy." I said confidently. She celebrated excitedly. "So, what do I win?" She flirted.
"A chance for us to guess your lie. It's your turn now."
"Hyde. Stop hogging the mic!" Kelso whined.
I gave him the microphone now. He accepted it with a grin.
Nice and Easy said, " Okay. I've thought about it. The one to guess it right, will get a special reward!"
"Great!" Kelso grinned and said to the microphone. "We're waiting."
"First. I have blonde hair." She giggled. "Second, I don't have a boyfriend. Third, I'm very flexible."
"Quick! What's the answer?!" Fez asked me hurriedly.
"How should I know?" I laughed. "Just guess."
"Um. I guess it's the flexible part." Kelso picked one at random. "You might be a little flexible."
Fez interjected, "I'm with Pete."
"Linc. What about you?" She asked flirtingly again. It seemed that she was already focused on me.
I smirked and said, "First part. I think you picked one similar to mine, since you're flirting with me. Also, you sound like a very hot brunette."
She went silent for a bit and replied, "...Correct."
"Damn!" Kelso and Fez cursed in unison.
"So, what's my reward?" I flirted with her too.
She giggled and said, "I'm going to give a fourth. I'm not wearing anything right now."
Fez, Kelso and I turned to each other, smiles tugging at our faces.
Kelso lunged for the microphone. "Wait—like… nothing nothing? Or like… socks?"
There was a pause. Then laughter burst through the speaker.
"Oh my God," Foxy Lady laughed. "Socks?!"
Nice-And-Easy giggled, "Wow, Pete. Way to ruin the mood."
Kelso frowned, confused. "What? That's a valid question!"
Fez shook his head. "No, no… you must let the mystery live, my friend."
Kelso ignored him and leaned back into the mic. "Okay, okay—seriously. Where are you guys? We can come right now."
The laughter died down slightly.
"Whoa, slow down," Hot-To-Trot said sternly. "You're getting a little eager there, Pete."
I reached over and took the mic from Kelso again.
"Sorry girls. He's just mad because he can't play his face card. That's all he has. How about Julie go next? Our mysterious gentleman from a foreign country who has a lot of amazing stories."
"Oh. That's exciting. Okay, Julie. We're waiting." Hot-To-Trot said, her tone softened.
"This is not a good time for me." Kelso sulked again.
"Ladies. This is Julie." Fez took the mic. "First, I'm an amazing lover in bed. Second… I do a great hot oil massage that will melt all of your stress away. Third, I have delicious brown cocoa skin."
The girls weren't replying for a long time.
"Ladies?" Fez asked again, panicked.
"Sorry guys. We got pulled over by a cop. We'll talk to you tomorrow." The girls exited the channel quickly.
"Damn Fez." Kelso blamed him.
"I didn't even do anything you son of a bitch!" Fez argued back.
"That's it! Both of you, get out of my van!" Kelso chased both of us away and drove off in a huff.
…
Fez and I returned to the basement after Kelso left and found Eric and Donna already there.
Both of them looked pale. Nervous. Like they'd just seen a ghost.
I raised an eyebrow. "Hey… what's going on? Did you get caught having sex in the car and get dragged home by the police?"
Eric and Donna froze.
"HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" Donna yelled.
"How did you guess that so accurately, you son of a bitch?!" Eric snapped.
I laughed and dropped onto my usual spot. "Why don't you calm down first?"
They both hesitated… then sat down in a circle around me.
"Huh?" I blinked.
Donna frowned. "What? Isn't it time?"
"Oh. Right. That."
We lit up two blunts and passed it around. Eric sat close to Donna, while Fez sat in between us on the couch.
A moment later, Eric exhaled and grinned. "Okay… now I can think. Thanks, Hyde."
Then he leaned forward, "But seriously… How did you know?"
"Yeah," Donna added. "Did Laurie tell you? That bitch can't keep anything shut."
I snorted. "No. I guessed. You keep going to the same spot, and it's not even hidden. That's what happens when Forman's too scared to go deeper into the woods."
"That's your fault!" Eric shot back. "With your stupid Slenderman story!"
Fez laughed and ate some chips. "You are a coward."
"Shut up, Fez!" Eric was taken aback.
Donna crossed her arms. "If you knew we could get caught, you could've warned us."
"Where's the fun in that?" I smirked.
"You–You—noodle hair!" Donna snapped.
Eric nodded quickly. "Yeah! Noodle hair. Totally." He would do anything to appease his girl, like pretending to agree when she made a terrible insult like this.
"Simp," I spat at him.
"What?" Eric blinked, already drifting. "Noodle… hair… hare… where… where's what, Fez?"
"Huh?" Fez looked around, confused.
Eric was gone. His mind had entered a higher dimension.
"You know," I said seriously, "none of this happens if you just get a motel."
"Motels are filthy!" Donna shot back.
"Then do it in Donna's room," Fez suggested.
"No! Her parents are there!" Eric snapped, suddenly focused again. "It's too risky. Midge could come in… and it'll turn into something I dream about, but too afraid to do in real life."
Donna shot a confused look at Eric. I snickered and shut up as Donna turned to me.
"So Hyde, how do I tell Bob about this?" Eric asked.
I shrugged. "Wrong guy to ask. When I got caught, they just banned me from seeing their daughters."
"Damn it," Donna muttered.
Fez leaned back. "In my country, when a boy loses his virginity, the whole village celebrates."
Donna looked at him. "What about the girl?"
Fez replied darkly, "Marriage… or death."
Donna glared. "Okay, that's horrifying."
I laughed and said, "Forman. Try this. Make something up, something worse. Like, if you get a C on your test. You tell your dad you got an F."
"Huh? Why?" Eric was confused.
"He's going to be so pissed off. But then, if you tell them you actually got a C, he'll be relieved that it's not an F. You got me?" I added.
Eric listened intently and said, "Wait. So. I'm supposed to tell Bob I'm doing something worse with his daughter, so that he'll be relieved we're actually having sex?"
"Like killing someone." Fez added. "Or become pirates!" He gasped.
Donna grimaced in confusion and said, "I don't think that will work. For my dad, I don't think there's a worse thing than someone defiling his daughter."
"Defiling? Lady, you came on to me. If anything, you took my flower." Eric said to Donna.
I laughed my ass off till I almost fell from the chair, which made everyone else burst into laughter.
…
The next morning, I didn't see Mrs Forman at the breakfast table. Or Eric. Mrs Forman didn't go to church this morning. Eric was still avoiding his parents after the whole incident.
"Hey, what's going on?" I asked with concern. "Is Mrs Forman okay?"
"She's feeling a bit under the weather." Red replied and stood up, walking towards me.
"So, is that what you're wearing?"
He looked at me up and down and snorted in displeasure. I wore a denim jacket, white t-shirt, and a pair of jeans.
Red wore a dark navy suit that looked like it had only been taken out for funerals and weddings. The fabric was stiff, the lines a little boxy, but everything was pressed perfectly. Even his shoes were polished enough to catch the morning light.
"You're overdressed." I told him.
"You're underdressed. This is Bill Walton you know. Wisconsin basketball legend." Red looked at me like I was an idiot.
I shrugged and said, "There's no need to glaze him all over again. Let's just go. We'll eat at the shop."
Randall from the cafe brought a lot of food to the auto shop as he heard Bill Walton was coming to pick up his car today. He couldn't stay, but he asked me to get Bill's autograph for him.
The basketball legend came to the shop around 10 in the morning, driven by his manager here in his Porsche– which he also bought from my shop.
"Why don't you let my staff take that? We can get it all cleaned up for you," I offered the manager.
He guffawed. "Gladly." He threw me the keys, which I handed to Jeff.
"So, this is the 45 grand car?" Bill Walton whistled as he saw it. "I love it."
I grinned. "You'll love it more when you test drive it."
I sat next to the basketball legend as he tested the car on the streets. Bill wasn't someone who would drive too far from the shop—he didn't want to keep people waiting. His kindness meant he wouldn't fully push the car, so I went with him.
His smile kept growing as he drove. The smooth stops without the car rocking like a boat, the growl of the engine, the cushioning of the seat.
"It's really an amazing car," he said.
"So, is it worth it?" his manager asked when we got back to the shop.
"It is." Bill handed me the money—in cash.
"Pleasure doing business with you. Also, I want to float something by you, if you don't mind."
"Sure. What is it?" Bill asked.
"I'd like to interview you, since you're our first celebrity customer. I'm prepared to give you a discount on the car if you do that. Maybe even cut the price in half."
Bill and the manager glanced at each other, a little taken aback.
"We can do that, but first, I'd like you to fully explain what the interview is about before I sign anything," Bill said firmly.
I smiled. "Don't worry. It's not anything damaging to your reputation."
Red finally came out of the office to greet Bill while I went to set up the interview station.
I had a basketball machine set up, along with a two-top table with wings and hot sauces laid out on it.
I was trying to mimic a show like 'Hot Ones' and get him to answer questions while going through the wings.
In the 70s, it was rare for a celebrity interview to be this casual—no narrative, no agenda, just fun conversation.
I wanted to build that kind of culture, so Point Place would be remembered fondly by Bill and future high-profile customers who came to order their own custom cars.
"It's not easy being almost seven feet tall. Have you ever been in a situation—maybe in a new place—where you thought, 'This is becoming absurd?'"
Bill laughed. "Try taking a shower in a hotel room."
The interview went well. We talked about the car for a bit before I eased into lighter questions. As the wings got spicier, the filter started to disappear, and Bill showed more of his real personality.
Red was highly satisfied as he watched the interview in real time. Tyrell and Megan helped me with the camera and the audio.
After the interview was over, Bill left with his manager.
"That's good. We have a lot of footages–"
Before I could finish my thoughts, the entire staff raised their hand up and cheered in excitement.
"WHOOOAAAAA!"