I exhaled slowly and rubbed my face, but nothing about this conversation was acceptable or normal, and yet some part of me believed her.
Maybe because I started feeling good after she shoved her saliva in my mouth...
But then she said something that made my heart burst into pieces.
"There's also another reason."
Of course there is.
"When someone tastes my saliva enough times," she said, "the connection deepens."
I lowered my head.
"Connection?"
"It means we stop being separated."
That sentence hit harder than I expected.
"What does that mean?"
"It means my body begins adjusting to yours."
I felt my throat go dry.
"And?"
"And eventually..." she said almost in a whisper,
"We become one."
I stared at her.
My brain tried to interpret that sentence in every possible way, and unfortunately, all of them were worse.
"Not physically," she added.
"Thank you for clarifying that last."
She blinked once.
"It means your life force and mine begin to synchronize."
"If I lose control," she added, "you will feel it."
"If my body is in pain, your body will react."
"And if I die... you'll die too."
My heart felt heavy and sank beneath my despair.
Outside, down the hall, Mei was probably insulting the hero of her favorite drama.
I could hear her.
And here I am, being told by a girl that she is a zombie with cursed saliva, scars, and we are heading toward some kind of undead soulmate contract.
I laugh.
I laugh a lot.
Because my life has officially become too absurd, and I will die.
"So let me get this straight," I said. "You're not technically a zombie."
"Yes."
"You have a blood curse."
"Yes."
"Yup."
"So I need to lick your saliva every day, right?"
"Yes."
"To stop you from drinking blood."
"... That's one way to put it."
"And if this goes on, we will become one."
I covered my face so hard that I wanted to disappear from this world.
"This is the worst explanation of love I've ever heard."
"It might become love." Her soft voice made me freeze.
But when I looked at her again, her face was filled with embarrassment.
Her trembling fingers and the shyness in her eyes.
That tiny detail hit harder than everything else.
For the first time, I saw Airi Kurotsuchi.
As a girl.
And that realization made my chest tighten.
For the first time in my life.
All I wanted to say to her,
"All you need is to lick me."