Alucard was trying to sleep.
Trying being the important word.
For the first time in what felt like forever, there wasn't a god trying to kill him, an ocean trying to crush him, or a system throwing notifications into his face.
Then—
BOOM!
His eye twitched open.
"..."
Another explosion echoed through the castle grounds.
Carmilla sat up immediately.
Aphrodite groaned and buried her face into a pillow.
"Who is it this time?"
Outside—
A voice roared across the mountains.
"VAMPIRE! IT IS TIME FOR OUR REMATCH FINALLY!"
Alucard blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Then he walked to the window.
There, standing outside the castle gates, was a man wearing royal robes, carrying himself with absolute confidence.
A king.
A very familiar king.
Alucard stared.
'Oh god.'
'It's Qin Shi Huang.'
For a split second, he could practically hear the edit music.
The dramatic poses.
The slow-motion spins.
The fan edits.
The endless comments.
Then his brain caught up with the words.
'Wait.'
'Rematch?'
Ding!
[Host invaded China in the past.]
Alucard froze.
'The fuck?'
Ding!
[Memory restoration triggered.]
His vision blurred.
And suddenly—
---
Thousands of years ago.
China.
An army stretched beyond the horizon.
Banners filled the sky.
Generals stood ready.
The Emperor himself watched from the front lines.
Qin Shi Huang.
Young.
Proud.
Determined.
And standing opposite him—
Alucard.
Past Alucard.
The original.
The one whose instincts kept ruining Host's life.
Qin pointed at him.
"You dare enter my empire?"
Alucard laughed.
Not maliciously.
Just because he found the situation funny.
Which somehow made it worse.
"I wanted to see it."
Qin's eye twitched.
"You crossed three provinces."
"I walked."
"You defeated my army."
"They attacked first."
"You stole my royal wine."
"It was good wine."
Qin's eye twitched harder.
Then—
The flashback shifted.
Several hours later.
The Imperial Palace.
Qin and Alucard sat across from each other.
Drinking.
Arguing.
Competing over literally everything.
Chess.
Poetry.
Strategy.
Martial arts.
Politics.
By sunrise neither had won.
Neither had lost.
And both refused to admit it.
Qin slammed his cup down.
"This is unfinished."
Alucard grinned.
"Then finish it later."
Present day.
Alucard's eyes opened.
"..."
Ding!
[Rematch requested: 2,200 years overdue.]
'You mean this entire thing started because they were both stubborn?'
Ding!
[Correct.]
Alucard rubbed his forehead.
'That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.'
Ding!
[You are Alucard.]
'Fair point.'
Outside—
Another explosion.
"VAMPIRE!"
Qin's voice echoed again.
"STOP HIDING!"
Carmilla walked beside him and looked out the window.
"...Who is that?"
"A problem."
Aphrodite sat up.
"...God?"
"Worse."
"Worse than a god?"
Alucard sighed.
"A rival."
Outside, Qin pointed dramatically at the castle.
"COME OUT AND FINISH OUR MATCH!"
Alucard stared.
Then slowly closed the curtains.
"No."
The castle shook from another explosion.
Qin was apparently not accepting that answer.
Alucard stared out the window.
"..."
Then looked at the System.
'How is he making so many explosions, and how is he even here? He's supposed to be dead.'
Ding!
[After watching your last three matches, Qin Shi Huang requested temporary descent from Heaven.]
[Request approved by Alvitr.]
[Several Valkyries thought it would be amusing.]
'Alvitr approved this?'
Ding!
[Yes.]
'Why?'
Ding!
[She thought it would be funny.]
Alucard closed his eyes.
'Of course she did.'
Ding!
[Qin Shi Huang also brought his army.]
Alucard opened his eyes again.
'...He brought what?'
Outside the castle walls—
Thousands of banners stretched across the mountains.
Soldiers.
War chariots.
Generals.
Entire formations.
An imperial army had somehow appeared outside Vampire Territory.
At the very front—
Qin stood dramatically on a hill.
Arms crossed.
Cape flowing in the wind.
Waiting.
Like he had been preparing this entrance for two thousand years.
Carmilla looked outside.
Then looked at the army.
Then looked back at Alucard.
"...Should we kill them?"
Alucard shook his head.
"No."
Aphrodite blinked.
"You sound disappointed."
"I am."
Outside—
Qin pointed toward the castle.
"COME OUT!"
"I HAVE WAITED TWO THOUSAND YEARS!"
"I REFUSE TO WAIT ANOTHER DAY!"
Alucard sighed.
Then snapped his fingers.
A pulse of crimson energy spread throughout the castle.
Moments later—
Castle horns sounded.
Deep.
Ancient.
Monstrous.
Across the mountains, countless red eyes opened.
Vampires.
Night creatures.
Undead knights.
Creatures humanity had forgotten existed.
The armies of Alucard.
Qin watched the awakening hordes.
A grin spread across his face.
"Excellent!"
His generals immediately looked less enthusiastic.
Alucard turned away from the window.
'System.'
Ding!
[Yes Host.]
'Neither side can actually die.'
Ding!
[Correct.]
'Meaning this is going to become very annoying.'
Ding!
[Correct.]
'Alright.'
He opened another magic circle.
Darkness Eater appeared in his hand.
"Signal the army."
The castle shook as orders spread.
Outside—
The Vampire Army began advancing.
The Imperial Army began advancing.
Both sides immediately started cheering.
Apparently everyone had wanted this rematch.
Carmilla blinked.
"Wait."
Aphrodite blinked.
"Wait."
Both looked at Alucard.
"You are seriously fighting an army because of a two-thousand-year-old argument?"
Alucard paused.
Then remembered the flashback.
The wine.
The chess game.
The competition.
The mutual refusal to admit defeat.
"..."
"...Maybe."
Ding!
[Host and Qin Shi Huang possess identical levels of stubbornness.]
'Shut up.'
Ding!
[Historical evidence supports this statement.]
Outside—
Qin pointed his sword dramatically.
Alucard pointed Darkness Eater.
For one moment, the entire battlefield fell silent.
Then—
"CHARGE!"
Both armies rushed forward at the same time.
Alucard immediately regretted all of his life choices.
Valhalla was silent.
Not the usual Ragnarok silence.
Not the tense silence before a match.
The confused kind.
The kind where nobody understood what they were looking at.
Zeus stared into the viewing circle.
"..."
Hermes stared too.
"..."
Anubis blinked.
"..."
Finally Loki spoke.
"Am I hallucinating?"
Nobody answered.
Because they were all watching the same thing.
Instead of preparing for Round 4 of Ragnarok—
Alucard was currently leading a vampire army against Qin Shi Huang and the Imperial Army over a grudge that was older than most kingdoms.
Thor pointed at the screen.
"...Is that Ragnarok?"
"No."
"...Training?"
"No."
"...Then what is it?"
Nobody knew.
On the humanity side—
Göll looked completely lost.
"Lady Brunhilde?"
Brunhilde rubbed her temples.
"Don't ask me."
"But why are they fighting?"
Brunhilde pointed at Alucard.
"Because he's Alucard."
Then pointed at Qin.
"And because that's Qin Shi Huang."
Göll looked even more confused.
Lucifer was laughing.
Actually laughing.
Tears-in-his-eyes laughing.
"Two thousand years."
He pointed at the battlefield.
"Two thousand years and neither of them forgot."
Back on the god side—
Amaterasu watched Qin personally charge into a group of vampire knights.
"...He's enjoying this."
The Jade Emperor sighed.
"Of course he is."
"That's Qin."
Hermes finally looked through several records.
Then blinked.
Then looked again.
Then blinked a second time.
Zeus noticed.
"What?"
Hermes looked up.
"...I found the original incident."
Everyone turned toward him.
"What incident?"
"The reason they hate each other."
The room became quiet.
Finally.
Answers.
Hermes cleared his throat.
"According to the records..."
He flipped a page.
"Alucard entered Qin's territory."
Reasonable.
Another page.
"He defeated three armies."
Less reasonable.
Another page.
"He stole royal wine."
Several gods winced.
Another page.
"He beat Qin at strategy."
Thor nodded.
Makes sense.
Another page.
"Qin beat him at martial arts."
Fair enough.
Another page.
"They tied in chess."
Another page.
"They tied in poetry."
Another page.
"They tied in military theory."
Another page.
"They spent three days arguing over who won."
Silence.
Hermes slowly lowered the scroll.
"...And that's it."
The entire room stared.
Odin spoke first.
"...That's the reason?"
"Yes."
"Nothing else?"
"No."
"No betrayal?"
"No."
"No war?"
"No."
"No murder?"
"No."
"No political dispute?"
"No."
Zeus slowly leaned back.
"...They're idiots."
Meanwhile—
On the battlefield—
Qin personally tackled Alucard through a castle wall.
"YOU STILL OWE ME A REMATCH!"
Alucard punched him through three towers.
"YOU STOLE MY WINE FIRST!"
"I BOUGHT THAT WINE!"
"WITH MY MONEY!"
"IN MY EMPIRE!"
"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM!"
Back in Valhalla.
The gods watched in disbelief.
Then Odin suddenly narrowed his eye.
Because amidst all the stupidity—
Something was bothering him.
Something important.
He looked at Alucard.
Then at Qin.
Then back again.
"..."
Hermes noticed.
"What is it?"
Odin remained silent for several moments.
Then spoke.
"...Look closer."
Everyone did.
The battlefield looked chaotic.
But not random.
Alucard wasn't using his strongest abilities.
Qin wasn't using techniques that could seriously injure him.
Neither army was fighting to kill.
They were fighting to compete.
To prove a point.
To settle something ancient.
Then Odin understood.
And that realization worried him.
"...He's making allies."
The room went still.
Odin continued.
"First Brunhilde."
"Then humanity."
"Then Aphrodite."
"Now Qin Shi Huang."
"He isn't conquering people."
"He isn't forcing loyalty."
"They choose him."
The room grew quieter.
Because that was true.
Dangerously true.
Far below—
Alucard grabbed Qin by the collar.
Qin grabbed Alucard by the collar.
Both were yelling.
Neither listening.
And somehow—
They looked less like enemies...
And more like two stubborn friends finally getting the chance to continue an argument that had been interrupted for two thousand years.
Odin disliked that realization even more.
Meanwhile, back at the castle...
Carmilla and Aphrodite sat on a balcony overlooking the battlefield.
Or rather—
Overlooking the complete disaster currently unfolding below.
Thousands of vampires were fighting thousands of imperial soldiers.
Castle walls had already been damaged.
Several towers had collapsed.
And in the middle of it all—
Alucard and Qin Shi Huang were currently arguing while fighting.
Somehow.
Qin swung his sword.
"ADMIT I WON!"
Alucard blocked.
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"
"YOU CAN'T DIE!"
"THEN WE'LL BE HERE FOREVER!"
Aphrodite took a sip of wine.
"...Ten gold says Qin wins."
Carmilla didn't even look away from the battlefield.
"You're wrong."
"Oh?"
"My king wins."
Aphrodite smirked.
"Biased."
"Correct."
Below—
Qin kicked Alucard through a tower.
The tower collapsed.
Alucard emerged from the rubble and immediately threw an entire carriage at him.
Qin cut it in half.
Aphrodite nodded.
"Good throw."
Carmilla nodded back.
"Good cut."
For several moments they simply watched.
Like two noblewomen attending a sporting event.
Then Aphrodite frowned.
"...What exactly are they fighting over again?"
Carmilla thought about it.
"Nobody knows anymore."
"Not even them?"
"Especially them."
Below—
Qin landed on a rooftop.
Alucard landed opposite him.
Both pointed accusingly.
"YOU CHEATED!"
"I DID NOT!"
"YOU ABSOLUTELY DID!"
"PROVE IT!"
"I WOULD IF I REMEMBERED WHAT YOU DID!"
Aphrodite slowly lowered her wine.
"..."
"...They don't know."
"No."
"They genuinely don't know."
"No."
For the first time in centuries—
Carmilla laughed.
A real laugh.
Not a smug one.
Not a threatening one.
Just genuine amusement.
Aphrodite stared.
"...You know, I don't think I've ever seen you laugh."
Carmilla's smile remained.
"My king is many things."
She watched Alucard get punched through another wall.
"Sometimes..."
A second wall exploded.
"...he is ridiculous."
Aphrodite giggled.
Then another tower collapsed.
"Five more gold says they accidentally become friends before the fight ends."
Carmilla immediately shook her head.
"No."
"You sound confident."
"I know my king."
Below—
Qin and Alucard charged each other again.
Both yelling.
Both smiling.
Neither realizing they were having the time of their lives.
Aphrodite watched them.
Then smiled knowingly.
"You're going to lose that bet."
Carmilla narrowed her eyes.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
In the distance, one of Alucard's vampire generals was sharing drinks with one of Qin's commanders during a temporary break in the fighting.
Neither army seemed particularly interested in hating the other.
Aphrodite pointed.
"The armies are already making friends."
Carmilla paused.
"..."
"...That is concerning."
Below—
Qin blocked a strike.
Alucard blocked one back.
Both stopped.
Stared at each other.
Then simultaneously said:
"That was a good move."
A pause.
Then both immediately pointed.
"BUT I'M STILL WINNING!"
Aphrodite nearly fell out of her chair laughing.
Carmilla buried her face in one hand.
For the first time since Ragnarok began...
The castle felt normal.
At least as normal as it could be when a Vampire King and the First Emperor of China were destroying a mountain range over a two-thousand-year-old argument neither could properly remember.
To be continue
Well I am gonna be honest I am no interest in counting this fanfic and we'll be removing in 1 Week, yes 1 Week, and then it's gone, I am giving all of you enough time too copy and save it for you too countinue the story like I really hope someone does as for Senran Kagura X Make Ki Fanfic it's coming along