Then came the promised weekend.
I stood at the designated meeting spot in the shopping district, waiting for Kallen.
After a short while, I spotted a shock of crimson hair approaching from the distance. In that moment, I felt the air leave my lungs.
This wasn't the usual school uniform or the drab, utilitarian garb of a resistance fighter. She was clad in a fluttering, airy white dress—an aura entirely divorced from the Kallen Stadtfeld I thought I knew.
Her hair shimmered like spun silk under the midday sun, and her gaze darted away with an endearing awkwardness. To compare her to a mere gemstone would have been an insult; she was positively radiant.
'I will definitely... I must bring her into my harem, no matter the cost.'
As I swallowed that impure but utterly sincere vow, my gaze must have been too overt, for Kallen's face suddenly flared a brilliant red.
"W-What... what are you staring at?!"
"Nothing. Just... you're breathtakingly beautiful."
The words left my mouth with effortless poise. Kallen froze for a heartbeat before she began stomping her feet in a flustered rhythm.
"Wh-What are you talking about?! You... you really are a total idiot, aren't you?"
She snapped at me, but then hurried past, clearly trying to hide her mounting embarrassment. Watching her retreating figure, a satisfied, Machiavellian smile crept onto my face.
We enjoyed our time together like any ordinary couple. We marveled at the kaleidoscopic fish in the aquarium, laughed over trivialities while shopping, and shared snacks from street stalls. In a world defined by bloody struggle and cold-blooded stratagems, these moments felt surreal—and because of that, all the more sweet.
Eventually, the sun dipped below the horizon, and we climbed a hill that offered a panoramic view of the city. Below us, the lights of the Tokyo Settlement glittered like a sea of fallen stars spilled across the earth.
"...It's beautiful," Kallen murmured softly.
"It is," I replied, though my eyes were on her. Her expression, however, had turned bittersweet.
It didn't take long for me to realize that her gaze was fixed beyond the opulent lights of the Settlement, focused on the Shinjuku Ghetto—a place currently shrouded in shadows.
"Is it because of the Japanese?"
Kallen looked at me with a start. I quickly followed up, keeping my tone light to avoid making it feel like an interrogation.
"As the Vice President, I have access to various records. I... happened to see that you're half-Japanese."
Kallen turned her gaze back to the night view, her voice turning icy.
"So you knew all along and just acted ignorant? What a wonderful gesture of pity. Don't expect this to continue. There won't be... much reason for me to come to the Academy anymore."
It sounded like a declaration of severance, a final closing of the door between us. In that instant, I knew: if I didn't act now, she might slip through my fingers forever.
I might regret this. I had no idea what consequences would follow. But I refused to live with any more regrets.
I reached out my hand gently.
"Let me... let me help you."
"Ha! Don't make me laugh. What could you possibly know that would allow you to help me?"
Kallen lashed out with sharp words, but her eyes were wavering.
"You're right. I don't. I don't know anything."
Kallen stared at me, bewildered, as I continued.
"If you don't tell me, I'll never know. People wish to be understood, yet they hesitate to speak. Because I am not you, I might never fully grasp your heart. But... we can at least try to learn, can't we? So tell me. Tell me about yourself."
Kallen's pupils trembled. She looked away, but I took another step closer.
"Shall I start by sharing a secret of my own? To tell the truth, I've been hiding something from you too..."
"Stop it!"
Kallen's cry was almost a shriek. In that moment, it hit me: my attempt at sincerity wasn't comforting her; it was a cruel pressure.
As she slumped down, her resolve crumbling, I walked over in silence and drew her into a hug.
I began to see it—that she was merely playing at being strong to hide her scars. The sense of loss from being abandoned by her father, the twisted love-hate relationship with her mother, and the isolation of being a half-blood who belonged nowhere. I finally understood why she believed she could only truly exist as herself within the resistance.
Kallen began to sob in my arms, like a lost child.
"Why... why do you keep unsettling me like this...?"
I said nothing, merely patting her back slowly. After crying for what felt like an eternity, Kallen seemed to regain her senses and tried to push me away.
"Let... let go, please..."
I took her face in my hands, preventing her escape, and whispered tenderly.
"Right now... you're truly lovely, Kallen."
And then, I kissed her.
Kallen froze, her eyes widening into saucers. A moment later, she snapped back to reality and pushed me with all her might. Covering her face, she turned and bolted down the hill as if her life depended on it.
I sat there in her wake, looking up at the night sky and muttering to myself.
"Phew... The weather is nice."
My operation to conquer Kallen Stadtfeld had begun to spiral in a direction I hadn't quite predicted.
-
The moment I arrived at the meeting spot, my heart started acting of its own accord.
I had spent ages in front of the mirror, agonizing over my clothes, but the reason I eventually chose a dress... was something even I couldn't put into words.
'Is it too much?'
Perhaps just for today, I didn't want to be Kallen of the Stadtfelds or Kallen of the resistance. I just wanted to be me.
But the second Lelouch saw me, he froze solid.
His blatant stare made my skin tingle. Out of pure bashfulness, my voice came out sharper than I intended.
"W-What... what are you staring at?!"
"Nothing. Just... you're breathtakingly beautiful."
His calm, direct answer made my face burn. I shouted back as a distraction.
"Wh-What are you talking about?! You're really... a total idiot, aren't you?"
I stormed ahead.
Listening to his footsteps following behind me, I couldn't help the strange, tickling sensation in a corner of my heart.
We had a date—a normal, perfectly mundane date like everyone else. We marveled at fish in the aquarium, shared mindless laughter over nothing in particular while shopping, and shared street food.
It was peaceful. It felt as if I had always belonged in such a world. That surreal feeling was terrifying, yet I didn't want to let go of this moment, so I laughed even louder.
When we reached the hill at sunset, the lights of the Tokyo Settlement were brilliantly, blindingly opulent. But my gaze kept drifting beyond them—to the darkness, to the Ghetto.
"...It's beautiful."
"It is."
His short reply stung my heart. What was he seeing right now? Afraid of my own wavering heart, I intentionally bared my thorns.
"Is it because of the Japanese?"
When I looked at him in shock, Lelouch quickly added more.
"As the Vice President... I just happened to see it. That you're half-Japanese."
That phrase 'happened to' felt even more irritating. The fact that he knew, and the fact that he was trying to be considerate about it.
"So you knew all along and just acted ignorant? What a wonderful gesture of pity. Don't expect this to continue. There won't be... much reason for me to come to the Academy anymore."
My words were venomous, but my insides were a mess.
If this guy entered my world, I would just start wavering again. And if I wavered... I'd eventually just be thrown away. That's why I had to cut him off first. But Lelouch didn't back down; instead, he reached out to me.
"Let me... let me help you."
"Ha! Don't make me laugh. What could you possibly know that would allow you to help me?"
Whether it was anger or fear, a cocktail of emotions flooded my voice. But Lelouch simply nodded and countered with calm resolve.
"You're right. I don't. I don't know anything."
...What is this? Usually, someone would make excuses or try to persuade me here, but he admitted his ignorance so easily.
"If you don't tell me, I'll never know. People wish to be understood, yet they hesitate to speak. Because I am not you, I might never fully grasp your heart. But... we can at least try to learn, can't we? So tell me. Tell me about yourself."
My heart thudded in my chest. I turned away, not wanting him to see my trembling eyes or my crumbling mask. But he took a step closer.
"Shall I start by sharing a secret of my own? To tell the truth, I've been hiding something from you too..."
"Stop it!"
I cut him off with a scream.
The moment he offered his sincerity, I knew my own lies would start to feel wretched. I had lived being tough, being fine, being indifferent—but if he looked at me with those eyes and talked about 'learning' about me, everything I had built to survive would shatter.
My legs gave out and I slumped down, but then warm arms wrapped around me.
It was infuriatingly cozy. Encased in that warmth, I finally broke down and sobbed. Once I let out the breath I'd been holding back, I couldn't stop.
"Why... why do you keep unsettling me like this...?"
He said nothing and simply patted my back. That silence was even more cruel. Sometimes, a silent presence is more devastating to one's resolve than hollow words of comfort or encouragement.
After a long while, I finally came to my senses and tried to push him away.
"Let... let go, please..."
I had shown him such an ugly, pathetic side of myself. But Lelouch took my face in his hands, his voice dropping into a low whisper.
"Right now... you're truly lovely, Kallen."
Before the words could even settle, a soft sensation touched my lips.
In that moment, the world stopped.
My mind went blank. Every fiber of my being froze. The question of 'Why?' and the urge to say 'No' were both a heartbeat too late.
Finally snapping back, I pushed him away with everything I had. Covering my face, I ran down the hill like a fugitive.
I heard him calling my name from behind, but I couldn't look back. The moment I did, I'd have to admit what I was feeling.
Even as I ran, the warmth on my lips wouldn't vanish. I should have been angry, I should have been scared... but my heart was beating like a wild animal.
'...Damn it. What have you done to me, Lelouch?'
After that shocking first kiss and the date that ended in a panicked flight, I couldn't sleep properly for days.
I couldn't even focus on cleaning my rifle—a task I could usually do in my sleep. I just stared into space, my wrench slipping and failing to tighten screws because I was so distracted.
"Kallen, is something wrong? You're not focused at all today."
Hearing Ohgi-san's worried voice, I jumped and dropped my wrench.
"Oh, it's nothing. Just... didn't sleep well."
"You look terrible. Did something happen at school?"
I shook my head violently. There was no way I could tell him, 'I kissed a Britannian guy I thought was my enemy and ran away.'
Just then, Inoue, who was quietly wiping parts nearby, let out a chuckle.
"It's because of a boy, isn't it?"
"Wh-What?! No!"
My shriek drew the attention of everyone in the hideout.
"Whoa, whoa! Does our Kallen finally have a man?"
Tamaki's eyes widened as he started making a scene. My face felt like it was going to explode from the heat.
"I said it's not like that!"
"There's no way a tomboy like Kallen found a guy. She must just have other things on her mind," Tamaki snickered, only for Sugiyama to poke him in the ribs.
"Hey, Tamaki. Love comes like a sudden rainstorm, when you least expect it."
"Shut up! Both of you!"
I yelled and stomped over to a corner of the hideout to sulk. My comrades continued their teasing, but I didn't hear a word of it. My head was filled entirely with that guy—Lelouch Lamperouge.
His earnest gaze.
'We can at least try to learn. So tell me. Tell me about yourself.'
And those soft lips against mine.
"Haa..."
As I sighed, Inoue came and sat beside me.
"Shall we have a little girl talk?"
She took me outside the hideout. We stood in the biting night air for a long time in silence.
"...Is he Britannian?"
I couldn't deny Inoue's cautious question, so I simply nodded.
"Is he a dangerous person?"
"...I don't know."
I didn't know. That was the truth. He knew my identity, yet he protected me while hinting at his own secrets. I thought he was just a sickly weakling, yet he helped us in the middle of a gunfight in the Ghetto. He acted like a pervert sometimes, but then he'd say things with an expression more serious than anyone else's—things that pierced right through my pain.
"Kallen. Whatever you choose, we're on your side. But... I don't want to see you get hurt."
Inoue's warmth helped me steel my resolve. To end this confusion, I had to face him. I had to find out his true identity—and his true heart.
-
After the shocking kiss and the date that ended in her disappearance, Kallen hadn't shown up at school for a few days.
I was leaning on my desk as usual, trying to catch up on some sleep. Then, I felt someone sit in the seat next to me. I turned my head to see Kallen.
I sat up, fully awake now. She had her book open and was looking straight ahead, but the side of her face was a burning, brilliant crimson.
"...Can you really handle my story?"
Her voice was as tiny as a mosquito's buzz, but it held resolve and a hint of provocation. It was her answer to what I had said on the hill.
I couldn't help but let a chuckle escape. Kallen flinched and glared at me.
"We'll see. More importantly, I think you'll be the one shocked once you hear my secret."
I whispered it into her ear. It was mostly bravado, but I found myself genuinely enjoying the tension.
Just then, Shirley approached us.
"Lulu, Kallen! What are you two talking about? You look so close this morning!"
At Shirley's innocent query, Kallen startled and straightened her posture. I replied with a casual smile.
"Oh, nothing much. Just sharing a few secrets between the two of us."
"Wh-What?! A secret?!"
Shirley's eyes went wide. She looked back and forth between us with curiosity written all over her face.
"What is it? What is it? Tell me too! Are you guys having secrets and leaving me out?"
"No can do. This is a secret just for the two of us."
When I gave her that mischievous grin, Shirley puffed out her cheeks in a pout. At that moment, Rivalz chimed in.
"What's going on? What's going on? You guys having fun without me again? Vice President, that's just plain mean, isn't it?"
"Yeah, exactly! Tell us too, Lulu!"
Rivalz slung an arm around my shoulder, starting an interrogation, while Shirley grabbed my other arm.
In an instant, I was surrounded by the Student Council members. Kallen sat there, unsure of what to do as her face turned even redder, while I just sat at the center of the chaos, wearing a cryptic smile.
Rivalz pestering me, Shirley looking at me with a mix of curiosity and jealousy, and Kallen looking like she wanted to disappear into the floor.
'This isn't so bad.'
I savored this noisy, peaceful moment. Even though my 'harem plan' was drifting in a direction I hadn't expected, I thought that perhaps this was what I had truly wanted all along.