The morning light came in thin through the gaps in the walls.
Torra was still asleep beside me, breathing slow and even. I got up without sound and looked at the interior properly for the first time with daylight showing me everything the candle had hidden the night before.
The walls were patched wood over wood, seams barely holding. Not a single surface without claw marks running through it.
Deep ones.
The kind that meant the Crawlers had been at this house specifically, repeatedly, for longer than one season.
And this was supposed to be the protection Torra's family had every night when the Crawlies were lurking outside.
Unacceptable.
I went outside.
The situation out there was worse.
The fields were ash. Every crop within range of last night's fire, the wheat, the vegetable rows, the orchard edges, gone.
Replaced by grey and the smell of something that used to be alive. Ashes.
The villagers were already gathered at the edge of what remained, looking at it.
"The wheat was supposed to be ready for harvest next week." Favio's voice was low. His wife Celine was crying beside him, and he had one arm around her, but his eyes were on the field.
Benneth drove his hoe into the ground. Kicked at the ash with his boot.
"What are we supposed to eat now? The vegetables, the orchards, all of it ruined. We barely scraped enough to keep everyone fed as it was. Even the water reserve has dried up."
No one answered him.
"Leigh did this." Gringo's voice came from the edge of the group. Quiet. Almost inaudible. "To save me and my family."
"We are glad you and your family are safe, Gringo." Elder Elka's hand found his back.
I watched all of it from where I stood.
I did not understand it. Gringo was alive. His sister was alive. His parents, who had been bleeding on the ground the night before, were standing here this morning.
That was the outcome.
I did not see what the ash changed about that.
I stepped toward the group.
"Isn't it enough that they're alive?"
It came out the way everything came out of me. Flat. Without any emotions.
Favio looked up.
"That's not the point. We are glad they are safe. Truly. Hearing Gringo's screams last night... But we couldn't step outside. If we had, the Crawlers would have taken us too. We are hopeless against those things." He clenched both fists at his sides, jaw tight. "The crops are all we had."
"Because you're weak."
I said it because it was true.
Favio flinched. Looked at the ground. Said nothing. But I could see how he unclenched his fists. Loosening up into defeat.
"You're all weak."
Benneth moved before anyone else could react. He crossed the distance between us and drove his fist into my jaw. Punching me square on the face.
Then..
CRACK!
I didn't move.
He hissed and pulled his hand back, shaking it.
The knuckle had cracked against my jaw. Not mine but Benneth's.
"You just hurt yourself," I said.
He looked at his hand. Then at me. Then he swung again with his good hand.
Same result. He didn't hiss this time. He snarled.
"How dare you dismiss our struggles like that. They weren't just crops, Leigh. They are our lifeline. And you burned every last one of them. I am grateful you saved a family. But in doing so, you took away the means for everyone else to survive in this place."
I met Benneth's gaze head on. Until he looked away, unable to hold it. He turned around, both hands hanging limp at his sides. The rest of them followed.
Elder Elka was the last to go. She looked at me with that smile. That same smile that made my whole body tense up without explanation.
"Forgive him. Among everyone here, Benneth tends to the farms more than anyone. His wife and children were taken by those monsters. Please don't take it to heart."
Then she turned and slowly followed the rest.
I stood there.
My fists had clenched without me noticing.
Why.
Why did these people care so much about these crops.
I looked around. The green fields and golden wheat that had greeted me yesterday were nothing but ash now. Because of me.
Without thinking, I headed straight into the forest.
I climbed.
Not by teleportation, the distance didn't warrant it, and something in me needed the movement anyway. Needed the weight of the mountain under my boots and something to push against.
Their faces kept arriving in my head uninvited. Not screaming. Not pleading. Just... hollow. The particular expression of people who had already accepted that they were losing.
I had seen that expression on the faces of people I killed.
On their faces it was different.
I stopped against a tree and pressed my free hand over my face.
My head was aching. A specific, unfamiliar pressure behind my eyes, building and settling and building again. I did not get headaches. I had never gotten headaches. Eight years of battle and I had never once felt this.
What was this?
Why did they look at me with... pity.... when they were the ones who couldn't defend themselves.
Why did Benneth's broken hands feel like something I was responsible for when he was the one who chose to swing at solid bone.
I drove my fist into the nearest tree.
It came down.
But..
The aching didn't stop.
Everything since Torra. Since the forest. Since the overripe apple and Elder Elka's arms around me and a child pressing a glittering stone into my palm like it was precious.
Something was dismantling itself inside me that I had not given permission to be dismantled.
The hero conditioning.
The years of being pointed at problems and told to eliminate them. It had been the whole shape of me for so long I had not noticed it was a shape at all.
Now it was coming apart.
And underneath it was something I had no name for and no training to manage.
I looked down at the settlement from where I stood. The grey fields. The ash where green had been yesterday.
My magic hadn't been uncontrolled. That wasn't it. I could control it precisely.
What I had been missing was the intent.
The intent to not destroy anything beyond what needed destroying.
Emperor Karvian had taught me that being a hero meant following orders without question. He never taught me to care about what I left behind.
I clenched my fists.
That was done now.
I gripped my sword. Not to cut down an enemy. But for something else entirely.
One swing and the trees fell one after another. I stored every trunk inside my item box and cleared the mountain top patch by patch.
The wood was secured.
What came next was food.
I used search magic and located a giant boar not far off. I teleported to it, killed it with a single strike, hoisted it onto my shoulder, and climbed back down.
The boar was four times my size. I looked small carrying it.
Benneth saw me first when I emerged at the settlement's entrance. He was watching the others clear the ruined fields, both hands bandaged hurriedly, useless at his sides.
"What's that?" He asked dryly.
"A giant boar."
He looked at it.
Looked at me.
Then laughed, short and dry, the kind that comes out of someone who doesn't have the energy for it but can't help it anyway.
"I don't know what you've been through to end up the way you are. But these people welcomed you wholeheartedly the moment you arrived."
I didn't respond. I dropped the boar to the ground and walked toward him.
"What are you doing. Why are you getting close?"
He stepped back until he stumbled and caught himself with both broken hands and screamed in pain.
I crouched down and pressed healing mana into them. Benneth's eyes went wide. He unwrapped the bandages and opened and closed his fists slowly, the pain already gone.
"This... Thank you."
I tilted my head.
"Why thank me. You're the one who broke them. You didn't hurt me even the slightest."
He just chuckled and stood up, offering his hand to help me up from crouching.
I looked at it.
Benneth took mine anyway and pulled me up.
"Everyone will be delighted to see this boar. We haven't had meat in years. This calls for a feast." He patted my back and raised his voice toward the others. "Leigh brought us food for the day. With this much, we'll have meat for a week."
The children echoed it before anyone else could respond.
"Meat. We're having meat!"
Just like Torra, eating enthusiastically at the Branklore palace table.
"Brother Leigh. There you are!"
Torra came running toward me and stumbled on a rock. Face first into the ground.
I flinched. For the first time.
When he looked up, he was laughing. Elder Elka was already beside him, helping him up and wiping the dirt off his face.
But what surprised me even more?
Was...
My hand outstretched. Reaching towards Torra.
Unconsciously.