~Grace~
"You look like you've seen a ghost." Emily flips her hair and pulls her nude-colored robe tight to cover her body.
Living for someone else has never been easy. Death is easy. It grins at me every waking hour of the day. It waves at me every day in the pack house. It graces me with its cold embrace every time I am buried by Leo and his friends, or when I am forgotten in the attic and starved for days.
I have considered dying more times than I care to admit. Squeezing the air out of my lungs with a rope tied around my neck, or consuming enough wolfsbane—but that couldn't kill me since I'm human.
Before Leo discovered I was his mate, he'd lock me up in a coffin and bury me six feet under the earth just to see how long a human could survive. I've tried going into my coffin with a penknife so that when Leo and his clique of friends return to check if I have exceeded my last limit, they would find me dead.
Living, however, is the hard part. Choosing not to end it all at the very last minute. Going through every day, not because I see a future for myself after this, but because of the image of the perfect family I once had. Because of the image of my sister, Emily. Because I think she would never be pleased if I left our parents alone to meet her.
Living every day, fighting my inner dark thoughts—that is harder than dying.
Now, I am standing face to face with the only genesis of my misery. The girl who makes me hate myself more each day I wake up. The girl I live for and the girl I wished I had died on behalf of.
A bout of nausea rolls through me. I'm too in shock to do more than blink. I take a quick breath of utter astonishment and pinch myself. I feel the pain, but no one disappears. This means that Emily is real and that I am not dreaming.
"Emily? Is that... really you?" I try to force the words past the dry ache in my throat, but my voice dies. Tears blur the world into a smear of colors. I reach out, wrapping my arms around her as if she might evaporate.
The tightness across my shoulders increases, and soon she untangles herself from me and shoves me to the floor. I'm totally bewildered by her behavior. Welcoming the confusion, I take the moment to catch my breath.
Emily's cheeks are puckered as if she has tasted a sour lemon. "Don't put your filthy body on me, Omega! Yes, I'm alive."
A cry of relief breaks through my lips, but I force the corners of my mouth upward in a trembling smile. She should hate me. It is better than her being dead. I have missed my sister so much, and even if this is a dream, I wish not to wake up. My life and our family could be perfect again.
She crouches down to where I sit, her fist tightening in my hair, and yanks my head back. "Don't make me out to be the bad guy here, sis. You did kill me if you think about it. How would you even tell everyone that Emily never died, huh? Do you grasp the situation now?"
She then stands and walks back to Leo.
My gaze flicks to Leo. He stays anchored to her side as she curls a manicured hand around his chest, her smile turning sharp and mischievous. If Emily has never been dead, it means that my execution is not happening. There would be no point in dying for a crime that never happened.
"Pretending to care for you these past three years has been the toughest job in my entire life. It's so easy to hate you, but I had to make sure you don't think about escaping or killing yourself until you pay for your crime," Leo says.
I need assurance to know that he would stand with me and not against me. So, I stand and look him in the eyes. There's no way he's been putting on an act all these years.
His lips crash onto mine suddenly. The move catches me completely off guard. My eyes widen. I knew it. Leo loves me—but why is he choosing my sister over me? Or is this merely bond lust?
I push him away slightly, and he seems to finally come to his senses. He recoils, his face contorting with sudden, violent disgust.
"Fuck! Fuck this useless mate bond! Fuck the Moon Goddess for mocking me this much! I honestly can't put up with her anymore." He begins to wipe his mouth repeatedly, looking as though he would rather crawl out of his own skin than touch me again.
I stand there, numb, telling myself he is just overwhelmed. I look filthy, after all. I cup my hands over my nose and mouth, exhaling a quick puff of air to see if my breath stinks, but I swear it doesn't.
"I feel disgusted by you, which is why I had to accept her after she told me every brutal thing you did to her. You act like you are just a poor little thing, but you are a mischievous, evil bastard. And please don't be under the illusion that I loved you. I had to keep you here until today; I can't let you escape. Thankfully, my girlfriend saw exactly what happened with your sister years ago and she will testify in the presence of the Pack," Leo says.
I've been a pathetic loser to have been fooled by him. I don't blame myself, anyway. I lacked affection and I couldn't help but savor the little he offered just to deceive me.
My brain feels like a jumbled mess as I remember my mother's haunted look during her memorial and my father's hateful words ringing in my head: "You should have died instead. What gain does a human child bring to us?"
My heart is thundering. Eyes stinging. Lips quivering. Heat crawls up my neck to my cheeks, and I hold a hand to my chest, feeling like it is being clawed into pieces. I search Emily's face to be sure I have not met with the wrong person, but that tiny mole below her nose is still there.
She kicks her foot toward my face. "Go away, dog. We aren't done here yet. Did no one teach you that you shouldn't watch adults doing adult things?"
I'm a year older than you, selfish little bitch...
There's a moment of doubt in my heart. I stare wordlessly at Emily, and she simply scoffs in response. "What? You're going to scold me now? Geez, sis, don't act like a crazy bitch, will you? You are now at my mercy."
I choke back my own tears. I steel my heart and open my mouth to cuss at her: "You're going to regret this, you ungrateful bitch!"
But as usual, my voice is choked in. I turn around and strut to the front door. I can feel the eyes of those fuckers staring at my back, probably waiting for me to fall and break down in tears.