The Way He Looks at Me
LEXI POV
I lightly stroked my arms. How could I not feel his gaze on me even though I had turned away?
Kael.
The name kept coming back to my mind as I walked. Behind me were my servants. The hallway was long and silent; my footsteps made a sound on the smooth marble. I turned slightly to my servants. Their footsteps were silent. Likewise, the others walking in the hallway ahead of us were as if they were walking on air.
'How do they manage to walk without a sound?'
I tried to focus on walking straight, chin up, calm, like a princess should. As Aurelia should, but my boots still made noise with each step I took.
I tried to walk carefully, not in a hurry, not as if I were hungry. I slowed my breathing. I lifted my chin a little.
I took another step, and almost tripped over my own clothes.
I caught myself immediately, pretending it hadn't happened. My servants said nothing, but their momentary pause and support without touching me.
"Are you okay, Your Highness?" one of them asked.
I cleared my throat first. I hid a slight embarrassment. "Of course, I'm okay."
I nagged at both ends of my dress to raise them slightly off the marble floor.
"Walk slowly," I whispered deeply. "Nobles walk slowly."
So, I did. Slower steps. Smaller. Careful.
It felt unnatural. It felt like I was acting in a school play without a script. My tugging on my clothes helped. I was able to move smoothly.
We arrived at another long hallway with guards. They bowed when they saw me.
I was stunned.
Do I bow back? Nod? Ignore?
I had to react to what they had done. A firm nod, but it felt like I had done something wrong.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the servants glance at me.
Okay. Not that.
I continued walking, trying to fix it.
"Right," I whispered. "No nodding. Just… walk."
I put one foot in front of the other, slower this time. I tried to keep my face blank. Seriously. It seemed like I was thinking about something important. I wasn't used to it, but I was going to laugh. This body wasn't my body after all.
But my stomach was churning. Strongly. I stopped. I quickly pressed a hand to my stomach.
"Your Majesty?" a servant asked softly.
"I'm fine," I said very quickly. "I was just thinking..."
Thinking about food. Thinking about how a princess shouldn't look like she was going to beg for breakfast.
Then I stopped and faced them. They were a little surprised by what I did and backed away a few inches. I followed forward, but they backed away again.
"Wait, why are you guys walking away?" I tried not to get annoyed by my question.
"Your Majesty, you forbid us from coming near you unless necessary." One of them said.
I was a little surprised. "Really? Why?"
No one answered my question. Instead, they didn't look me in the eye. They were all bowed down. It made me wonder what the owner of this body really was like. Why were the three servants so scared?
I didn't bother. Instead, I changed my approach to them. I turned around again and started walking. The three servants followed; I think they were more comfortable that way.
I swallowed and asked, "Wait… can you tell me something? About… this place?"
Although I couldn't see, I knew the three servants exchanged glances. One of them, the one who had first helped me get dressed, spoke.
"This… is the king's palace, Your Majesty," he said carefully. "Where do you live. Where you've lived your whole life."
I blinked. "Right… right. I mean, of course, the palace. But… everyone here? All of you… serve me?"
The youngest nodded quickly. "Yes, Your Majesty. We serve you and the crown."
I tried again. "And… Aurelia?" I was stunned but quickly recovered. "I mean… what kind of princess am I?"
The three of them were stunned. A sign that they were confused. Finally, the tallest servant answered softly. He took a deep breath before he answered. His voice was a little shaky.
"Your Majesty… you… you are different… more… firm and… strict in the palace."
The other glanced over, as if afraid to tell the whole truth. "Yes… and… and you often maintain discipline… and orders are not broken lightly."
The youngest, who had barely spoken the entire time, nodded quickly and weakly: "Yes… And… and many of us are afraid when you are near, Your Majesty. We don't know how to explain…"
I frowned. "You mean… I am cruel? Like a villainess princess? A villain?"
The three didn't answer, so I turned to them. I was surprised to see them on their knees. Their hands were clasped together as their foreheads rested on top of their hands. They were almost kissing the marble floor.
"Forgive me, Your Majesty. We have insulted you; we deserve to be punished." The three said in unison.
"What are you doing?" I looked around. "Stand up."
They followed quickly like robots. They stood in front of me again but bowed. I took a deep breath. I needed to talk to them more thoroughly later.
"Okay," I said more carefully. "Ah… I understand."
One of them tilted his head slightly. "Your Majesty… you seem… different today. Are you feeling unwell?"
I swallowed. "No. Just adjusting… adjusting. There's a lot to remember. I want to… do everything right."
They nodded, but didn't say anything.
I took a deep breath. Maybe I could play the part. Maybe. Right now. But my mind was racing. High school. My old life. And now… this body. This palace. Everything felt like a dream, but it was real.
As long as I didn't know how I got here and how I was going to get out, I had to be together, pretend, but I also needed a friend. I couldn't live here, especially since I knew nothing. My three servants were my hope.
I straightened up again. I slowed my walk. Then I remembered something. The nobles weren't looking around much. So, I stopped looking around. That lasted three seconds. Because the palace was so big, it was strange and scary. It was so quiet, as if someone was watching me. It was like something out of a horror drama.
I glanced to the left, then to the right. Making sure there were no ghosts. It would be hard if someone suddenly caught me. My pretense would be ruined, and what was even harder was that if it was discovered that I wasn't their Princess Aurelia, I might be punished and killed. I don't want to die in this place. I don't want to die ugly. Besides, I'm too young to die. I'm going to college and am going to make a fortune.
I shook my head at that thought. Then, I saw him.
Kael was standing at the end of the hallway. It felt like he'd been there the whole time. Watching.
My steps slowed without me realizing it.
He didn't move. He just stood there, his eyes dark, staring at me as if he were studying something meaningless.
My chest tightened, and I swallowed hard. 'This isn't the end of me, is it?'
I straightened up normally. I lifted my chin again and walked forward. Slow. Controlled.
Every step was sudden as I approached.
Don't look at him.
But I looked at him, a big mistake.
His gaze didn't change a bit. It seemed sharp. Too sharp.
It was like he was tearing everything apart—my walk, my face, the way I held my hands.
I stopped a few steps away.
Why did I stop?
I had no idea.
"Commander," I said.
I winced secretly. Too hard and fast. It didn't sound noble.
'I think I'm about to open up.'
He tilted his head slightly. It was just a small movement, but I felt startled.
"You walk differently," he said.
This is a different kind of man. Straight to the point, no greeting at all. No tone of respect.
That's all.
"I—" I paused. Think. "I was unwell this morning."
That seems reasonable, doesn't it?
He didn't answer. No reaction either. He took a step closer, one step.
"You speak differently, too," he added.
My fingers tightened on my dress.
"I've been out a bit," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "I hope the servants told you."
That's safe. They said I don't remember anything.
Use it.
He didn't take his eyes off me.
"Memory," he repeated. He didn't seem to believe it.
"Yes," I said, weaker now.
A pause. Enough to make my heart beat faster. I feel like the ground is going to swallow me up at this point.
Then, "Then you should be careful," he said.
My brow furrowed slightly. "Be careful where?"
His gaze didn't soften. "Of who sees it."
I was stunned. 'What does he mean?'
He backed away after that, just like before. It was like he had gotten what he needed.
I remained silent for a second before I forced myself to move again. Get past him. I couldn't run; I couldn't rush either. Just walk carefully.
My steps seemed uneven now. Behind me, I could still feel it, that attention and the silent suspicion.
One of the servants approached. "Your Highness… shall we continue to the dining hall?"
"Of course," I said quickly. "It's been rumbling inside my stomach for a while."
"Your Highness?" the servants asked confusedly.
"Let's go." I invited and didn't turn around.
-
When I saw the dining hall doors, my chest still wouldn't stop beating. I paused for a second.
Just a moment.
I looked at my hands. Not mine. Aurelia's. Not shaking as I felt inside.
"Okay," I whispered.
I need to fix everything and learn quickly about how she talks and walks. How does she look at people? Because one thing is clear now.
Kael is watching me.
I'm not sure if she knows anything, but I'm uneasy about the way he looks at me. However, I won't let any creature that lives here in this place harm me.
I lifted my head as the doors opened.
If I don't understand this, he'll be the first to know that I don't belong here.