KIRA
I could not sleep, not even close.
I turned away from the ceiling and propped myself up on my elbows. Across the room, Kathryn was curled tightly in her bed, her breathing slow and even. She had come in from training and gone straight down, barely managing to pull the covers over herself before she was out. I had lain there watching the ceiling ever since, turning the day over and over without arriving anywhere useful.
From the meeting; Thomas's voice before I had even opened the door. Devon stopping him. The seer's eyes on me throughout, reading whatever she read. My own voice saying I want to train with Devon.
And finally, Devon saying I accept in a voice that gave nothing away.
I swallowed hard.
I had no one to talk to. No one I could tell how suffocating everything felt. I sighed quietly, the sound barely audible.
Maybe fresh air would help. Something other than the ceiling, or maybe I just needed to get out of this room before my thoughts swallowed me whole.
I slipped on my slippers and eased the door open, careful not to wake Kathryn. The last thing I needed was questions, or concern, or worse, pity.
The hallway greeted me with silence. The same kind of silence from this morning. The bright overhead lights cast long shadows across the floor, stretching and shifting with every step I took. I was grateful that no one was around. I did not want to navigate anyone's face right now.
My footsteps were quiet on the floor as I made my way to the building's entrance. The door creaked when I pushed it open, and the cold night air hit me immediately, stealing the warmth from my skin in seconds, and sending a shiver straight down my spine.
I was wearing a thin nightgown and had not thought to bring anything heavier. I considered going back for a moment and then sat down on the stone steps instead, pulling my legs slightly closer as I tried to hold onto what little warmth I had left.
The courtyard was still. There was no movement, or voices. Just the distant noises of insects and the wind moving through the trees at the far edge of the grounds.
Safe Land at night felt different from Safe Land during the day. It was... calming and lovely in its stillness. I inhaled deeply.
There was a tree nearby, close enough that I could hear the leaves in the breeze. I fixed my gaze on it and let my thoughts run without chasing them.
The chill crept in slowly, settling into my shoulders, my arms, the backs of my hands. I knew I should go in, but I didn't move. I didn't want to.
Because for the first time all day… my thoughts had quieted.
Eventually though, the cold became too much.
My fingers and toes felt numb and stiff. A sharp shiver ran through me as I pushed myself up, rubbing my arms in a futile attempt to warm up.
Goosebumps covered my skin.
"...You shouldn't be out at this time."
My heart leaped violently into my throat.
I spun around so fast I nearly lost my balance, my breath catching as my eyes searched the darkness.
Devon was standing barely two feet behind me, having emerged from nowhere, apparently.
I exhaled hard, my heart still going. "You—" I cut myself off, shaking my head. "You need to stop doing that."
He appeared amused.
I was going to have to get used to this.
Used to him and the way he appeared out of nowhere like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Especially now that I was certain I wasn't leaving Safe Land anytime soon.
My eyes drifted over him before I could stop myself.
His hair was disheveled, falling across his forehead in soft, uneven strands. He was wearing loose trousers that sat low on his hips, dangerously low. Moonlight traced every line of his body, every defined contour.
My heart betrayed me anyway, picking up its pace again. I forced myself to focus.
Wasn't he cold?
The thought felt ridiculous the moment it formed.
Of course he wasn't.
He was a demon.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
He answered immediately. "I'm on night duty."
"Night duty," I repeated.
"Making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be." A brief pause. "Which is inside."
The emphasis was not subtle. I shifted my weight. "Someone can't come out for fresh air?"
"Not at this hour. You have four windows in your room. Any of them would have worked."
I looked at him. "You know how many windows I have in my room."
"I know a lot of things."
That was not news. I had been in Safe Land for less than two weeks. He had probably known more about the layout of my room on the day I arrived than I did now.
I crossed my arms slightly.
"Does that mean Safe Land isn't so safe after all?"
His expression didn't change. "I never said that."
"Then why can't I leave my room at this hour?" I said, "Are there scary monsters waiting to take me away?"
Devon didn't answer immediately.
Instead, he just… looked at me.
Really looked at me.
The intensity of his gaze made my breath hitch.
It felt different now, more personal, and it made me feel exposed in a way I didn't understand.
"Why are you outside, Kira?" he asked softly.
Maybe it was the softness in his tone or the intensity of his eyes that threw me off, but I took a small step back.
My eyes drifted away from him, landing once again on the tree in the distance.
The leaves trembled under the breeze, just like me.
"I couldn't sleep," I admitted. "I needed… space."
He didn't look away. "Space from what?"
"Everything."
He let that sit. He did not push it, did not ask what everything meant or which specific things I was running from. He just sighed, and stepped a little closer.
Not enough to touch, but enough that I felt it.
"You should go back inside," he said quietly. "It's cold."
I hugged my arms tighter around myself.
"Aren't you cold?" I asked, looking at him.
The moonlight was doing things to the lines of his shoulders that I was not going to think about.
His mouth twitched. "Not really."
Of course not. I did not actually know what demons felt or did not feel. I had been told what they were for so long that I had never thought to consider what they actually experienced. Cold. Hunger. Loneliness. I did not know which of those applied to Devon, if any of them did.
"I'll go in soon," I said.
But I didn't move. Neither did he.
Then he said, in a voice that was lower than his usual register: "I know this place feels suffocating. It gets easier."
I stared at him. "Does it?"
His gaze shifted slightly. For a brief moment, something passed through it. "It can," he said.
Not "It does."
Not "it will."
Just, It can.
We stood in the quiet for a moment longer. The wind came back, cutting through my nightgown, and I felt the shiver move through me. Devon noticed. His brow pulled together slightly.
"Go inside, Kira," he said again, softer this time.
"You'll get sick."
This time, I listened. I turned toward the door, my hand resting on it for a moment.
Before I stepped through it, I looked back. He had not moved, standing where I had left him, the moonlight behind him.
"Goodnight, Devon," I said.
A pause. Then: "Goodnight, Kira."
I went inside and pulled the door shut behind me.
Walking back to the room, I turned the exchange over. It had not been what I expected from him. Nothing about him was ever quite what I expected, and that made him intriguing, and a bit unsettling.
I got back into bed, pulled the covers up, and looked at the ceiling again. Kathryn's breathing was still steady across the room.
I did not know how long it took. But eventually, I slept.