To say I was shocked would be like saying World War II had big consequences-the bloody understatement of the century. I had just brought a character from a novel to life. Yes, I was living inside another story right now, possessing the template of a 2D character, but this was different. This was made by my own hands. I had Envisioned the actual Sasrir!
Or had I? The Deputy of Heaven only had a very brief appearance in the story, and he was basically a blank book in regards to the lore. How such of the "Sasrir" before me was based on Lord of the Mysteries and how much was just me and my theories bundled into a new shape? As downright philosophical as that though was, I had no more time to ponder it. "Before you ask," he said, his dark eyes fixed on mine, "I only know what you know, up to the moment we split. I am your shadow. A part of you."
I finally found my voice, though it came out a bit hoarse. "I... gathered that much. It was what I had desired after all But what part, exactly? My selfishness? My anger?"
He offered a small, thin smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Those are far too simple. I am the part that feels guilty for manipulating Theron, even though it was necessary. I am the desire to just take what we want instead of playing this long game. I am every impatient, selfish, and... less than noble thought you've ever had and quickly locked away. Your inhibitions are gone. I am what's left."
It was a bizarrely clinical way to hear my own flaws described. He wasn't a raging monster; he was a calm, collected repository of everything I considered my weaknesses.
"So you're my id," I said, the old psychology term surfacing from a college class.
"If you wish to label it," he replied, standing up with a fluid, silent motion. "I am the functionality you removed to operate more efficiently in this place. You are the rational mind, the planner. I am the emotional weight and the moral compromise you no longer have to carry."
"So you take away all my hesitation and fear of consequences? But wait, what's the difference between you and say, the characteristics Amon would possess?"
"Hmm. I would say...Amon would be cowardice, mischief, apathy and hedonism. He would pursue anything and everything, content with chasing temporary pleasures for eternity. I, on the other hand, am just you. Your reflection, with all the dust and grime wiped off. I would not destroy lives just for a quick thrill or on an impulse. I have more sense than that. I would do whatever it takes to acquire what I desire, but I am satisfied with my current state. I would also be willing to die for what I believe in, while Amon obviously would not."
"And perhaps most of," he smiled at me now with more warmth now. "I do have people and emotions I care about. I will act as I want, and protect those I hold close to me."
And awkward silence came between us and I almost felt myself blush before forcing myself to snap out of it. "Well, as cringe as it is to hear what's essentially myself say such things, it's good to know to take after the Ancient Sun God more than the True Creator at least."
A noncommittal hum was the response.
He looked around the Corpse Cathedral, staring at the dimmer Soul Core and the transformed cross behind it. "It seems we have a division of labor."
I took a deep breath, the initial shock giving way to a strange sense of relief. The constant, low-level hum of guilt and frustration that had been my background noise since the nightmare was just... gone. It was all sitting across from me, contained in a separate vessel.
"It does," I said, meeting his gaze. "Just remember whose will is paramount."
"Of course," he said, his voice a soft whisper laced with twinges of amusement. "I am a part of you. Your word is my command."
But the way he said it, so calm and assured, left a lingering question in the air. A part of me wondered if I had just neatly organized my psyche, or if I had created a problem far more complex than any I'd face in the Dream Realm. No, he said it himself, he held my full perspective, just with a different view on things. I wasn't the type to obsess over being "the original" like in some stories, as long as I could live happily and safely. "Sasrir" shouldn't deviate from that either. Realizing I had spent a long time in my Soul Sea, I dismissed it and found myself back in my room. Only when I opened my eyes, Sasrir was still there, looking at me.
Slightly taken aback, I raised an eyebrow. "You can appear by yourself without me summoning you?"
"look down" was all he said. Upon doing so, my pupils constricted. "Where's my shadow? Wait a second-"
Before I could finish, Sasrir melted into a black blob and rushed at me, joining at my feet and taking the form of my shadow before I could even react. Then, after five seconds, he detached and manifested once again. "Bloody hell, are you Sasrir or Sunny? Hold on, Shadow Travel!? What Rank-er, Sequence are you?"
"Sequence 7, Shadow Ascetic. "
"Bloody Hell" I nearly shouted at that, my excitement overflowing my Spectator mask I had prepared. "You're just a Dormant Beast right? How did you manage that?"
"Balance" Sasrir responded succinctly. Seeing my confused look, he let out a small chuckle and spread his hands. "Secrets Suppliant is basically useless here since anyone who can respond to Ritualistic Magic is either dead or completely insane. My high Spirituality might provide a boon while using Sorcery, but that will have to wait until I become an Ascended anyways. As for the powers of a Listener...If I didn't have the Shadow Ascetic's ability to turn it off, I would probably die just by walking near a Nightmare Gate. Therefore, Shadow Ascetic really is the first Sequence that will actually help me survive. At least your Spectator/Telepathist works on other people."
Well, that made sense. In Lod of the Mysteries, the weaknesses of the Hanged Man Pathway in Low Sequences could be made up for with Sealed Artefacts or just praying to the True Creator, but "He" obviously isn't here right now-unless you count me because of my True Name-and Memories aren't quite so easy to gain without killing for them yourself.
"Did you also receive a status from the Spell?" I asked with curiosity.
Sasrir was silent for a bit before, to my shock, runes similar but different to my own appeared before my eyes. Huh, I didn't know that was possible...Well, Shadow Bond did it after all, so maybe it's not that strange.
****************************************************
Name: Sasrir
True Name: -
Rank: Dreamer.
Soul Core: Beast [1/7].
Memories: -
Echoes: —
Attributes: [Uniqueness of Hanged Man], [Flame of Divinity], [Virtual Persona].
Aspect: [Hanged Man].
Aspect Rank: [Divine].
....
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