I wiped away the tears that had been flowing for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. A hollow ache settled deep in my chest, a pain so sharp it made me want to curl up and disappear. That tyrannical Minister… as soon as he had taken his fill and satisfied his desires, he simply got up and walked back to his room. He left me here, drifting in an empty void amid the crumpled sheets.
I was beyond furious. I was angry at him for taking advantage of me, but even more than that, I was furious at myself. Why couldn't I stop him? Just a few touches, a little lingering heat, and this traitorous body of mine gave in. I spiraled out of control, falling straight into his game. I let myself get lost in that rush of desire until I completely forgot to fight back.
It was too fast… far too fast for any woman to process. Losing my virginity to a "legal husband" I barely knew, without even a spark of love between us—it hurt. It hurt to know that everything was fueled by nothing but mere lust and raw craving.
Why wasn't I stronger last night? Why didn't I just kick him out? Or was it because… deep down, I actually liked him? Was that why my heart raced so wildly I could barely hear myself think when he cornered me?
The more I thought about it, the more I despised myself—especially that straight-faced claim of his that it was his "husband's right." It made me want to slap those words right out of his mouth. Just wait and see. From now on, I'm going to keep my distance and stay in the safe zone as much as possible. If I let myself get close to him again, my disobedient body will surely let that stone-faced Minister drag me back to bed and ravish me all over again.
I refuse to be nothing more than his outlet.
*********
Morning came, and I hurriedly pressed my civil servant uniform—the khaki set worn by teachers nationwide on Mondays. Tuesdays and Thursdays called for appropriate attire, Wednesdays were for the Red Cross Youth uniform, and Fridays meant white outfits or traditional Thai fabrics.
"Damn that crazy minister!" I stared at my reflection in the mirror and spotted a single kiss mark right at the base of my neck. I don't know where to put myself. He'd clearly done it on purpose. "Just you wait—I'll get you back someday. I never thought you'd be this shamelessly horny. So much for the man I secretly admired. Hmph!"
Of course I liked him. He was handsome, young—thirty-seven years old already, which felt downright unfair. His face looked like he wasn't even thirty yet.
Well-educated. An impeccable profile. And most importantly, he had a habit of rolling out policies that teachers across the country actually approved of—especially when it came to fixing the mess left behind by outdated policies from the previous minister.