I-Tim left me to 'make amends' with my sons on my own. It wasn't something I ever imagined myself doing, but then I remembered her words: 'I want to see a happy family for once.' That was enough to make me want to start building something real.
"Open the door. I want to talk to you, Jao Peem, Jao Pat." A few moments later, the younger twin opened the door.
"What is it, Dad?"
"Can I come in?"
"This is your house, Dad. Why are you asking for permission from an outsider like me?" He made a cheeky face but gestured for me to enter. Jao Peem, who had been reading, moved to sit on the lower bunk next to his brother. I took a seat on the sofa where I-Tim had been sleeping for the past two weeks.
The three of us exchanged glances. No one spoke first. Jao Peem stared at me stolidly, and I stared back. His eyes held a flicker of something—discomfort with the situation we were in.
"Ping! Wake up, everyone! We're not here to play a staring contest," Jao Pat cut in. He's always been the best at breaking a tense atmosphere. That's the younger twin's greatest strength.
"I—" Jao Peem and I spoke at the same time. "You go first," I said.
Jao Peem let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry." He clasped his hands together and bowed his head, looking like he was forcing the words out. "I'm sorry for making you angry. It's my fault for convincing my brother to skip school. Ms. Kawinthida had nothing to do with it, and she didn't complain about us at all on the way back. Ms. Kawinthida just wanted to protect us. If you're going to punish someone, just punish me."
"Whoa, hold on, Jao Peem! No, Dad. If you're going to punish someone, do it to me. I was the one who talked him into it. You know someone like Jao Peem would never step out of line on his own. You can seize my big bike—just take mine, that's enough."
"No. I'm the only one at fault. My brother had nothing to do with it."
"Enough." I raised my hand to stop them. Seeing them protect each other made me proud. "I'm seizing both bikes, but only for two weeks. You were both wrong to skip class. If there are no consequences, you'll never learn."
"Thank you, Dad." Both of them pressed their palms together in a wai. I hoped they were truly sincere.
"I'm doing this because you teacher asked me to. Don't cause any more trouble."
"If it weren't for Ms. Kawinthida, would you even bother talking to us?" Jao Peem's voice trembled.
"I would, but in my own way. I'm a man of my word. During the time you've lived here, even if I haven't been a good enough father or provided the warmth a typical father should, I have never failed in my responsibilities toward you. The living expenses, the tuition, and even those two big bikes you thought Great-Grandmother bought for you—that was all me. I don't say this to demand gratitude, but I want you to know that I haven't been happy being so cold either. There's something I haven't been able to handle yet, something I can't quite forget. Give me some time to adjust. One day, I hope to be a father you can hug without feeling hesitant."
It was the first time I'd ever opened up like this. The two of them looked stunned. Those bikes they loved so much—the ones they took such pride in, thinking I had nothing to do with them—I was the one behind it all. Grandmother was actually against the idea of buying them.
"If I ask you one question, will you be angry?" Jao Peem asked.
"I consider today an open conversation. We're consulting each other like any other father and son. Go ahead."
"Do you plan on telling people that we are your sons? And that Ms. Kawinthida is your wife?"
"One day, Jao Peem. One day."
"Okay... loud and clear, Dad. I assume you didn't come here just to talk about this?" Of course, it was Jao Pat who spoke up.
"In two weeks, I'm taking you both to Singapore with me. I have only one request: leave I-Tim to me. As for you two, feel free to go wherever you like. I hope you won't mind if I give you a sibling or two." I stated my intentions plainly. The twins nodded in agreement.
"If that's what you want, we won't object," Jao Peem said, standing up to face me. "But I have one request: please don't break Ms. Kawinthida's heart. I was shocked to find out she was suddenly your wife, but she is the mentor I love and respect the most. If you make her sad, I won't forgive you." He reached his hand out toward me. "A gentleman's agreement?"
"I promise," I said firmly. Everyone seemed at peace now. Jao Pat couldn't stop grinning, and I couldn't help a small smirk myself. Something inside me was finally being released. I was trying.