"Hngggg" A strained groan escaped parched lips. More shuddering breaths came out in preparation.
Amidst following waters, a woman was hunched down in the grass. Her gaze sharpened every once in a while as pain rocked her but she held steady. Despite her hips burning like she'd just done a series Youtube glutes exercises, she remained crouched low. Her gaze sharpened as a fish leaped out of the water and dived back in a hurry with a 'plop'. Her face squished up and after what seemed like hours, she relived herself.
Birds flew over head and a stream that passed through the village flowed before the lady.
"Old Shina must be working in his bakery" She noted and as the woman stood up, she held a baby wrapped in her washed out vintage skirt and hurried back to her position. The baby cried from being rocked so roughly moments after its birth but the woman did not care as a mother should. She even greeted her fellow maiden.
"Eh? What is that?" Another woman washing her laundry in the flowing stream, sat up from a rock at the return of her friend that went missing. The woman pointed at her legs that held patched of blood and a mucus-like liquid.
"Oh? I just gave birth" The woman said like she was talking about fish prices in the market. She set her baby beside the laundry and continued her work.
In the hot sun of Japan's spring, flowers blossomed and a girl named Sayaka was born while her mother did laundry. There was no hospital nearby but even if there were, Mama Sayaka being a cheap woman would not have gone. After all, she had cheaped out on condoms when she slept with the only undergraduate of the village. And her mother cheaped out once again in abortion pills.
-----
"Okaasan. I told you already. I can't send you money for a while" A young woman with bayonetta red glasses grumbled as she struggled to balance the coffee cups in her arms. Sayaka has been working here for a few months. Sure, the first week was rough and so was the second, third, fourth and fifth and...never mind, every week has been hard but she was getting used to it
"Eh? And why the f*ck not?" Her mother spat out. Sayaka could imagine the plus sized woman laying on her side, fanning herself as the heat waves swept through her hometown around this time of the summer season. Her mother probably lay outside and overlooked the chickens they had in their compound.
"Sayaka, do you know how bad it is here? I sent you to school, paid for tuition and everything. But you can't even send a little f*cking money?" Her mother's angry voice raised in volume, perhaps her temper rose with the temperature. Sayaka let out an exasperated sigh.
"Okay, okay. I will send it. Just when they pay me. I'm taking more shifts, Okaasan. Do you know how hard it is to compete with my co-workers? Don't even get me started on-" Sayaka started grumbling and fumbled for her ID card as she neared the entrance of the looming grey building. Sayaka looked up, almost blinding herself with the glare of the sunlight as she neared the door. Her lips were downturned, and remained permanently so ever since she started working here. Maybe, just a little bit of understanding from her mother and she'd feel like she could conquer the world.
"Look I don't care what men you have to f*ck to get us money. Just get it, you owe me that much" Her mother's repulsive words made Sayaka cringe. All hope dashed from her eyes and she let out a sigh. The sigh that said she was already used to this treatment. At least, she didn't have it as bad as when she lived with her family. Now, she was an independent woman with her own home and her own sleeping schedule.
"Expect later next week" Sayaka's worn out voice told her mother. "Bye, Okaasan. Take care of yourself" Sayaka softly chuckled to herself.
"Hm hmm, sleep well and eat good-" before Mama Sayaka could finish her sentence, the call abruptly ended. Sayaka looked down at the old phone she managed to haggle a last year from the kiosk beside her high school. Despite all her mother's harshness, Sayaka couldn't bare to disappear on her mother. Sure, she had it rough with the emotional abuse but her mother had it worse with her drunk father's growing gambling habits. Who knows if he still hit her. Sayaka promptly tucked in her phone into her pocket.
"What crazy man said money isn't the solution to all problems. Must have not wanted women to go after his wealth" Sayaka grumbled and entered the elevator to find no else there. She had been given an errand by her seniors and usually that would have made her worried she wasn't doing a good enough job but this time, she found it was a break from work. She hit the button for the fifth floor and patiently waited.
"Clear the way, clear the way" A man shouted as wheels rolled on the floor. Sayaka briskly walked to her teams door to almost be shoved by a paramedic. Sayaka watched mister Yuze lay with bloodied white shirt as he got wheeled out. She almost instinctively reached out to shake him and ask what happened but she restrained herself and turned to question her other workers
"Guys, what happened?" She tried to stifle her worried voice as she walked into the room. Her eyes looked around for any sigs of a break in although it didn't look like Mister Yuze was attacked.
"Oh, you know the usual." Someone said with a tsk. Sayaka couldn't help but feel trigged for some reason. She'd only worked for a few months in the office but Mister Yuze had been the kindest in the group. He helped her through tasks, gave her advice and had even helped her find a new apartment.
"The usual?" Sakaya cleared her head and refocused.
"He just had to slow down production for us. Now with him gone, we'll have to search for someone else to cover up his work. What a hassle" Someone else grumbled and many others nodded their head in agreement.
Sayaka's brows dashed down below her brows and wondered if she was missing something. Was she wrong? Was this really Mister Yuze's fault? Her mind raced with possibilities of what had transpired
"He's worked here for 3 years. It was simply work over load. He couldn't keep up" One of the female workers walked past Sayaka and told her. The worker paused and explained further "He fainted from a stroke. As for the blood...that was his weak heart" She shrugged and let out a sick smile.
Sayaka felt sick to her stomach. People were really unempathetic. She turned away from her co-workers as the chatter geared back to work-related issues.
"Who's going to take Mister Yuze's work?" They asked and everyone went quiet. No one wanted a part even if it meant getting a chance at promotion. If it fell through, the department head would go out of his way to make your life a sore butt more than he already did,
Sayaka clenched and unclenched her fingers. Letting out a deep breath, she wiped a tear from her eyes and raised her hand. She knew she wasn't usually one to be so kind and empathetic but even her little care was like a huge ocean when compared to her work place's apathy.
"I will" She said strongly. "I'll cover for him till he comes back" The female worker turned to Sayaka with a stern shake of her head but Sayaka softly smiled. "If he fell from work overload, for the first time in 3 years, it must mean this was very important to him, right?" Sayaka internally grinned as she caught the guilty and shocked faces of the people in the room
Heh. Mission success. 'Make everyone see you as reliable. Kind, but not a pushover.
8 year later
"And that was how I became the team's lap dog for the next 3 years" Sayaka cursed as she spun in her chair. She looked at the row of newbies shivering in her boots like she had just told a horror story. Was it really that scary to almost die from workover load?
"Uh..Ma'am, i don't think you should be telling us that" A young man said with a worried glance as he looked at his batch.
"Even as a joke, you should be trying to make a good impression-" Before another person could chirp in, Sayaka raised her hand up to hush them. She silently took a sip of her coffee. For the first time since she had rounded up the new recruits, she didn't look up and stare into their souls as she sipped her coffee
"A joke?" She said as she palmed the cold brew and let it down on her lap. She looked down at the murky brown water. "A joke?" She said with a hitch to her voice. She wasn't one to get so emotional but ever since she started working here, every time she told anyone, no one believed her. These baby chicks were about to sell their lives to a greedy company but they weren't wise enough.
Of course, neither had she, herself! The company boasted of good things. It worked with international athelets, toppled businesses that rose too close to its rank and had a good track record.
"Fine" Sayaka simply shrugged and dismissed the batch of fools. Once they stacked their chairs and politely bid her a good night, Sayaka took a sip of her salty coffee.
*Briing* *Briing* Her phone rung but she didn't have to check to see who it was. The only contact she had on her phone was her family in their miserable town back in Japan.
"Hello" Her voice came out deep
"Er-erm...S-send money" Her mother's shaky voice spoke from the other side. Sayaka didn't have to imagine it, she was sure her mother spoke so carefully because of the bruises on her face.
"Done" Sayaka said in a bland and curt tone. Had she not sent money last week? But She didn't care to ask of her mother's over the top spending, after all she wasn't going to spend any of it.
"Um...Sy...are you sleeping well?" Her mother said after a strained pause.
"Don't call me until our next scheduled time" Sayaka said and before her mother could stop her, she hung up the call.
All her life, Sayaka has been less than a background character. She was born when her mother did laundry. But before she could pity herself, she wondered how it would feel like for her mother. Didn't her mother feel bad for her daughter? Or be at least selfish and feel bad for herself. But of course not, she wed another man as soon as her father died and her step-father turned abusive soon after.
People have bad lives and trauma but at some point, when the victim continues to log the trauma like it's their childhood possession, 1% of that trauma would become their fault because they could have made peace with it.
Sayaka was simply doing this for the peace of her mental health. She has come to understand her mother is the type of woman to remain dependent on a man till death and at first she felt bad but no longer.
*Briing* *Briing* Her phone rung again. Who else could if not her insistent mother. She was becoming to despise that woman.
"Okaasan. What did i say?" Sayaka's voice drawled and spat as she tucked her iphone beneath her chin
"Sayaka, it's me. Yuze" Sayaka's tired eyes widened and she quickly removed her ears from her phone to look at the caller's ID.
"Yuze-san?" Sayaka sputtered and swallowed the last bit of salty coffee.
"Only you calls me that. When are you done from work? Let's meet up" Yuze spoke from across the phone. Worry evident in his tone.
"Haha, good joke, Yuze. You know how the job is" Sayaka shrugged back as she spun in her revolving chair. "I can barely make it home before i'm called back into the office" Sayaka's voice went light as she thought of the troublesome newbies.
"And how long have you been working for them? almost a decade now" Yuze's voice hardened. Sayaka had to take a moment to pause and re-access the harsh reality.
"What are you telling me to do?" She knew she couldn't quit. Her mind was made up before she heard Yuze out. Perhaps Yuze knew this ebcause he remained admant
"Sy. Let's talk. Text me when you have time"