"This guy went and traded bentos with Shikimori-san, and on top of that, he's getting all cozy feeding each other with Hideyoshi."
"Unforgivable. Death penalty!"
"No! Burning at the stake would be better!"
[There's really no need for that, and I've never fed each other intimately with Hideyoshi. I never even joined this group.]
The black-robed figure standing at the front pulled out a list. "What are you talking about? Your name is clearly listed among our members."
On the list below were many names from the class, with Saiki's name right under Akihisa's.
[What? What's going on here?]
Akihisa stepped forward. "Saiki, did you forget? This is that group membership application I mentioned to you before. You agreed to it, and that's why I added you in."
[Did I?]
Saiki fell into thought. Last week…
While Saiki was leisurely eating his lunch, Akihisa came over with a piece of paper. "Saiki, Saiki! Lately the class formed this really interesting group. It's called the FFF Group or something. A lot of guys joined—mostly single dudes. There aren't really any main activities or anything."
[So what do they even do?]
"It's just signing up to be on the roster. Then if someone in class breaks the code of manhood or violates the rules, we'd tie them up, roast them over a fire, death penalty, stuff like that. Wanna join?"
[Yare yare, isn't this just a bunch of guys forcing others to stay single? Basically a group of guys who can't get girlfriends or don't have any luck with women banding together to keep an eye on each other? Not interested.]
Saiki continued eating leisurely.
"Really? That's too bad. The group doesn't actually do much anyway, but at least you can stop the people around you. It's pretty nice to join at least until you get a girlfriend. Oh, and right now if you join, you can apparently get some coffee jelly…"
Saiki stood up.
[I suddenly think this group sounds pretty good. Akihisa, sign me up.]
...Memory ends
Saiki sank into contemplation. [Yeah… something like that did happen.]
The black-robed figure at the front, Ryou Sugawa, finally spoke. "Alright then, let the trial begin."
A guy with an airplane-style haircut spoke up. "No need for a trial, Captain. Straight to the death penalty."
(That's way too hasty.)
"Sigh, can I eat this guy?" A black-robed man with a chubby face asked.
(What's with you? Do villain groups always have to include some brain-dead muscle gorilla?)
Just as this group of black-robed figures' eyes glowed red while discussing how to execute Saiki, our good bro Akihisa stepped forward.
"Wait a second, everyone! You've got the wrong idea. Trading bentos is just normal friend stuff. And Saiki didn't feed each other with Hideyoshi at all!"
After hearing this, the crowd started murmuring and discussing among themselves.
"Yeah, that's true. If it's just that, it's not enough for the death penalty."
"Hm, makes sense."
Akihisa turned around and gave Saiki a big thumbs-up. "Don't worry, Saiki. I saw everything just now. You really didn't feed each other with Hideyoshi. Otherwise it would've been a serious crime."
Saiki gave Akihisa a slightly relieved glance.
(Akihisa, I've always believed in you because you're a trustworthy good classmate.)
Meanwhile, Shikimori-san looked at her own hand still raised in midair and seemed to realize that feeding each other was too intimate after all. She was just about to lower it.
"Seriously, Saiki. A man should just eat boldly. Come on."
Seeing that Saiki still wouldn't eat it, Hideyoshi pulled the piece of meat over and personally stuffed it into Saiki's mouth.
Shikimori: Ah!!
Saiki chewed instinctively and swallowed, suddenly sensing a certain gaze.
[Yare yare, this…]
He turned around and saw Akihisa standing next to the black-robed people, now half-draped in a black robe himself. He calmly said to the leader, "Captain, this guy still deserves the death penalty."
(Akihisa, you traitor!)
Shikimori stepped forward. "Wait, you can't do this! What kind of rule is that? It's completely unreasonable. And as group members, you should be spreading positive energy. It's important for Saiki to interact with his female friends too."
Kubo Nagisa: "Exactly! If this group is really for the good of its members, you can't treat Saiki-kun like this."
"Ah, Captain…"
Seeing the beautiful girls around Saiki stepping up to defend him, the crowd started to hesitate about carrying out an extreme punishment and looked toward their captain.
Ryou Sugawa: "Hm, I think that's fair."
"Captain!!!" Ryou Sugawa turned around and discussed with the people behind him. "I didn't expect Saiki to be so popular. We can't go after him openly."
"Then what do we do?"
"There are ways even after this. If we can't do it openly, we'll do it in the shadows. Since they haven't made any real progress in their relationship yet, we'll just stop them from progressing. That's the duty the FFF Group must fulfill."
(Captain, I'm done with this group.)
"Little Akihisa."
"Akihisa."
At that moment, two beautiful girls stepped forward—Shimada Minami and Himeji Mizuki.
Akihisa took off his cloak. "What's up?"
Himeji Mizuki said shyly and awkwardly, "Akihisa, you didn't come trade bentos with me, right?"
Shimada Minami quickly stepped in. "Yeah, Akihisa. Eating like this once in a while is pretty nice, isn't it?"
"Uh… okay then."
Shimada Minami stepped forward first, picked up some food from the bento box with her chopsticks. "Here, Akihisa～"
"That's sneaky, Shimada-san! Akihisa, here." Himeji Mizuki also picked up a piece and offered it to Akihisa.
Akihisa saw the food coming from both of them and opened his mouth instinctively. The very next second, he was tied to a cross—with the entire FFF Group standing below!
"Now begins the heretic judgment session."
Akihisa: "Wait, wait, everyone calm down!"
"Heh heh heh heh. We couldn't interrogate Saiki, but Akihisa's fair game. In that case…"
The black-robed figure in front banged a small wooden gavel on the judgment table in front of him. "Charges: Defendant Yoshii Akihisa has violated the Blood Alliance of the Heretic Inquiry Session by accepting intimate feeding actions from girls. Crime is extreme."
Akihisa struggled and shot Saiki a pleading, betrayed look.
Of course Saiki received it. He walked over to the captain, patted him on the shoulder.
[Death penalty still sounds good.]
The captain nodded as if it were obvious. "Agreed."
"Saiki!!!!!"
Himeji Mizuki wanted to stop it but seemed helpless. "Um… everyone, it's not like that."
The crowd turned back to look at Himeji Mizuki, waiting for her explanation.
Himeji Mizuki blushed and stammered. "It's not… like that, it's just… hehe～"
The next second she shyly covered her face.
Bang. The gavel struck again. "Very well. Change of sentence: burning at the stake."
Akihisa: "Wait wait wait, don't do this. I'm seriously going to catch fire. Nooo!"
...