"By the way, Ebina, have you noticed? Motoba-san seems like she has something to say to me at school."
Ebina Nana: "The Motoba-san you're talking about is Motoba Kirie, right?"
"Yeah, it feels like she has something she wants to tell me."
In Umaru's mind, when she was heading to school today, there had been a girl with a ponytail trailing behind her the whole time, sweating profusely with dark aura radiating off her, glaring with murderous intent.
Ebina Nana reminded her: "Mm, but actually she's been watching you for a long time now."
"Huh, really?"
Umaru was a little surprised and caught off guard. [I never really noticed before.]
"Yeah, it's true. Especially lately."
In Ebina's mind, during morning commute and in the classroom, Motoba Kirie had been glaring at Umaru from the corner the whole time.
(That's way too obvious.)
Ebina Nana: "You seriously didn't notice?"
Umaru thought about it: "No, not at all."
(You should pay a bit more attention too.)
Ebina Nana looked at Saiki. Chatting about someone Saiki didn't know here felt like they were excluding him, which didn't seem right, so she spoke up.
"By the way, Saiki-kun, you probably don't know Motoba-san. She's our classmate. She's a bit quirky, but she's a cute girl."
Umaru: "Ebina's right. Even though I don't usually pay much attention to Motoba-san, she should be a kind and cute girl."
[Kind and cute, huh?]
Saiki glanced sideways out of the corner of his eye toward the back. The figure in the corner's emotions surged even higher.
"But do you and Motoba-san get along really well, Ebina?"
Ebina shook her head: "Not really. Though I did invite her to eat lunch together during break once before."
But in Ebina's memory, even though she had invited Motoba Kirie to eat lunch together, Kirie had asked a bit strangely if Umaru was coming too.
After Ebina answered that Umaru was coming, Motoba Kirie had just walked away directly.
Umaru thought it was her fault: "I see... Then Motoba-san probably because of me..."
[Not necessarily.]
Umaru looked at Saiki, puzzled by his response: "What do you mean by that, Saiki-shishou?"
[I just don't think she hates you.]
Hearing Ebina describe this Motoba-san made him think of someone familiar, a certain social-phobe.
Ebina Nana agreed: "Saiki-kun is right. I don't really know how to explain it, but even though everyone seems scared of Kirie, I never thought she was scary at all."
...
"Then Saiki-kun, see you later. Umaru, see you tomorrow."
Umaru: "Mm, bye Ebina. Let's go, Saiki-shishou."
With that, Umaru headed up to the second floor of the apartment, while Ebina went to her room on the first floor.
(So they live in the same apartment building.)
"I live with my brother. He usually doesn't get back until late after work."
Umaru said as she opened the door and went in. Saiki followed, closed the door behind him, and immediately saw Umaru perform her scientifically impossible instant-shrink again, then put on her hamster hood cape.
She grabbed a manga book, snacks, turned on the TV, and started eating.
If it were a normal day, she'd be even more unrestrained, but because Saiki was there, she held back a little.
(This doesn't feel like holding back at all.)
Umaru took out a shooter game and handed the controller to Saiki. "Come on, Saiki-shishou."
Saiki took the controller. He no longer felt like complaining about this person who could change size anywhere.
[Even I've seen this side of you and still wouldn't recognize you as the same person from school. How do you manage to be completely different? Aren't you afraid one of your classmates might show up at your door out of nowhere?]
Umaru thought about it. [Mm~ Saiki-shishou has a point. If Motoba saw me like this, she'd probably be super shocked.]
(Any normal person would be shocked.)
In Umaru's imagination, if someone saw her like this, for example Motoba.
Motoba would glare angrily at the completely different Umaru from school and say: "You're totally different at school, you deceived everyone!"
She'd even try to step forward and hit her, but Ebina would hold her back and earnestly persuade: "Please forgive her."
Then Umaru would change back to her perfect school self, stand between the two, point at two hamster mounts, and say: "Don't fight, don't fight. Hop on and let's play together."
The three of them would happily ride the hamster mounts, even fly up into the sky and into space, playing joyfully like that.
In reality, Umaru was still giggling foolishly to herself.
(Your imagination is really something. That's completely impossible.)
Saiki sat down, picked up the controller, and started playing the shooter game.
Umaru watched Saiki's moves excitedly: "Saiki-shishou, you're so good as expected. Picking you was the right choice."
[It's alright. By the way, someone's behind you.]
Right after Saiki spoke, Umaru got headshot.
"Ah, what happened? It's all Saiki-shishou's fault."
[How is this my fault?]
No choice, Umaru had died way too fast this round, so she could only watch Saiki play again. Umaru truly experienced what it meant to win while lying down.
Even though she was dead, Umaru's mouth didn't stop. She kept chattering right next to Saiki's ear: "Left side, right side, above! I hit him! So good, sideslip is awesome."
[Shut up.]
"Alright, next round then."
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Ding-dong, ding-dong."
"Huh, who is it? My brother shouldn't be back yet. Maybe he got off work early. Perhaps he'll bring some meat."
She rushed toward the door to open it.
[Hey! Umaru, wait!]
Saiki had only glanced over and wanted to warn Umaru, but she was too fast and had already opened the door.
"Brother, you're back. What's for dinner tonight..."
When Umaru opened the door, it wasn't her familiar brother, but the Motoba Kirie they had just been talking about. Looking like a classic expressionless girl, she stared at Umaru with empty eyes.
Umaru's smile gradually faded, somehow transferring to who-knows-whose face. [It's over. Umaru's identity is about to be exposed.]
(Yare yare daze, I told you to slow down. Now we've got one of those cliché scenes that only happen in novels.)
Motoba Kirie looked at Umaru in front of her. Her face slowly shifted from blank expressionless to slightly flushed, even a little excited.
But Umaru didn't care about any of that anymore. She had already run behind Saiki who had just walked over, using his body to block the line of sight, as if trying to convey that she had never appeared just now.
[What are you doing? Come out already.]
Umaru timidly poked her head out and used a soft, mushy voice: "Saiki-shishou~"
Saiki shivered, completely numb.
[Don't be so gross, please.]
And when Motoba Kirie saw Umaru like this, she seemed even more excited. [So cute.]
Saiki: ...